Lamanii22:
I live with my mil at the moment, we sometimes don’t agree with each other especially regarding how I want to raise my daughter, I believe in discipline but she believes in spoiling and I would never ever spoil my child… I put some boundaries in that aspect… every other thing we are good together…

Klass99:
I'm not sure what exactly the issue is, but I suspect the hostility stems from a number of factors like;

1. A woman/mother who genuinely has no joy in her life or soul. You know the sort of people who have bad belle inside of them for no good reason. People whose hearts and souls are just bad or tainted with evil, regardless of their religiosity. All their religion has no influence or effect in their lives.

2. Women/mothers who don't have a life of their own and never built one either, because they were too busy focusing on their children. A prevalent advice to wives whose husbands cheat a lot, used to be, just focus on your children as far as he is paying the bills.

So, they focused on the children and didn't do anything else with their lives. Now that the children are grown and married, dear mother is still focused on them, unable let go, doesn't know how to or what to do with her own life.

3. Some women/mothers are seriously ill mannered, dem just get busybody for body like die. It's like they were born with it or they weren't brought up well and they didn't bother to improve themselves. They have no boundaries and they don't respect other people's boundaries, they love to get all up in their children's business. The mentality of this is my child, I sacrificed a lot for him or her, you were not there when I was raising him, blah, blah, blah....doesn't help either, it just fuels their bad behaviour.

4. Parenting or having children in this part of the world, is almost synonymous with ownership. Misguided and ill informed parents practically act like they own you and they own your life, because they gave birth to you. They forget God gives life and is the owner of life, they were only vessels through which a life was created.

kiddkash:
■ Why do mothers feel that no woman is ever good enough for their son. According to the thread a nairalanders created earlier today.
■ My grandmother is about 88 years old, and yet throws subtle hostility towards my mother. My mother is the best in the world. Even recently when my grandmother came to stay with us for over a month, she did it. Before anyone says it is not true, I am matured enough to know what is and what isn't. My younger sister told me that my grandmother wanted someone else to get married to my father when they were younger.
■ So, I want to know the root cause of the hostilities from mothers towards their daughter-in-laws

Romanoff:
■ It's because mothers have come to see themselves as gods in the lives of their sons. I don't know why. They won't just let their sons leave to cleave, they see the son's wife as a competition. It also depends on how these sons handle the excesses of their mother.

Zico777:

Your husband has a great role to play here, by letting his mom let u be!

Lamanii22:


He’s too complacent…. He is always on her side somehow… I’m not a trouble maker but I’m firm with my decisions

Kobojunkie:
1. gods aren't clingy though. Na demons dey dey that way. Such mothers are tend to have no life of their own as it all revolves for them around their kids or sons , a clear sign of psychological dependence of the unhealthy kind.

bukatyne:
Most of the troublesome MILs replaced their bad husbands with their sons so it almost feels like the wife is taking away her lover.

You rarely see women who lived good lives/have good relationships with their husbands disturb their DILs.

kiddkash:
Why do mothers feel that no woman is ever good enough for their son

According to the thread a nairalanders created earlier today.

My grandmother is about 88 years old, and yet throws subtle hostility towards my mother. My mother is the best in the world.
Even recently when my grandmother came to stay with us for over a month, she did it.

Before anyone says it is not true, I am matured enough to know what is and what isn't.

My younger sister told me that my grandmother wanted someone else to get married to my father when they were younger.

So, I want to know the root cause of the hostilities from mothers towards their daughter-in-laws

Saintmary:
Nigerian societies absolutely love to hold women accountable for their actions, everyday you see threads about mothers in law, women issues here and there.



Hardly will you see threads about unfaithful husbands, they are very few.


Until you all accept that marital infidelity is an offence that has a consequence, maybe not in the eyes of the law, until you start avoiding things that will bring problems later in your lives, till then, keep dealing with mother in law issues.

Saintmary:



You already got the root cause from replies, now, what is the solution?

That's the next thing to discuss.

As long as we as a society keep condoning, enabling, and pardoning infidelities without making husbands accountable, women will keep finding unhealthy/healthy means of coping.


Imagine the family of your son suffering in the next 30 years because you can't control yourself.

Saintmary:
Nigerian societies absolutely love to hold women accountable for their actions, everyday you see threads about mothers in law, women issues here and there.



Hardly will you see threads about unfaithful husbands, they are very few.


Until you all accept that marital infidelity is an offence that has a consequence, maybe not in the eyes of the law, until you start avoiding things that will bring problems later in your lives, till then, keep dealing with mother in law issues.

Justbehave:
You can start by telling us how unfaithful your husband or boyfriend is. Post it and we will gladly comment.

Justbehave:
You can start by telling us how unfaithful your husband or boyfriend is. Post it and we will gladly comment.

Zico777:

So out of point!

Saintmary:


Of course my comment is outside the range of your comprehension, go and play with your PS5.

Zico777:

U are very silly!
Uncultured girl!

Saintmary:



Hmmmmm



You want me and you to start trading insults?


You


You that can't even understand less than 6 paragraphs of a post I put up there?



You are at the level of kindergarten children, just maintain your lane, but I know you still want to throw insults, so, just face your family and insult them to your dirty heart's content.

Saintmary:



You missed my point.

Complaining about mothers in law and women's behavior is only dealing with the branch, the real root is being left uncut, which is the attitude towards their husbands shabby behavior in marriage.


No one is holding those men accountable, hence the ripple effects.



P. S. My family is okay so far, so your attempt to shame me for an assumed infidelity just fell flat.

Zico777:

Abi o!

Justbehave:
Her hatred for men is what made her to type that. She could not withstand the truth that mother in-laws and wives nah cat and dog. Lol

Saintmary:
■ Nigerian societies absolutely love to hold women accountable for their actions, everyday you see threads about mothers in law, women issues here and there. Hardly will you see threads about unfaithful husbands, they are very few. Until you all accept that marital infidelity is an offence that has a consequence, maybe not in the eyes of the law, until you start avoiding things that will bring problems later in your lives, till then, keep dealing with mother in law issues.

Justbehave:
We are saying the same thing or maybe you are the one who is confused.
The post is about mother in-laws and wives but in your quest to blame men,you left the discussion and brought up infidelity against men.
Like I said,if your husband is exhibiting shabby behaviours or being unfaithful to you which is the root of the problems in your family then go deal with him.