I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

You are literally calling for shots .
Its normal to feel detached for a while (I feel the same).

But either way, dey play

Obnoxious2001:
You are literally calling for shots .
Its normal to feel detached for a while (I feel the same).

But either way, dey play

Oh. I'm detached all the time. The older I get, the worse I feel.

Banilla:
I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

It is funny how someone who has this kind of mentality, wants any better in a man.

YOU CAN NOT EVEN LIVE WITH YOURSELF, you want somebody's son to be your shield and butler... c'mon GET A LIFE...

make money, upgrade your class and stop looking for a saviour outside Jesus Christ.


WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
20? AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT... that will make you die alone... you are really not deep or mature enough for a relationship.

Do you not have school to attend, or jobs to get busy with?

You are lonely and toxic to yourself but you feel the USE of boyfriend is to alleviate you from your boredom... pls get a life.

this is 2023, if you have NOTHING TO OFFER THAN THIS... then men will use you and dump you and you will not be good enough to last 6 months in any relationship.

yrhuhfy113:


It is funny how someone who has this kind of mentality, wants any better in a man.

YOU CAN NOT EVEN LIVE WITH YOURSELF, you want somebody's son to be your shield and butler... c'mon GET A LIFE...

make money, upgrade your class and stop looking for a saviour outside Jesus Christ.


WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
20? AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT... that will make you die alone... you are really not deep or mature enough for a relationship.

Do you not have school to attend, or jobs to get busy with?

You are lonely and toxic to yourself but you feel the USE of boyfriend is to alleviate you from your boredom... pls get a life.

this is 2023, if you have NOTHING TO OFFER THAN THIS... then men will use you and dump you and you will not be good enough to last 6 months in any relationship.

I'm sorry... The need for companionship makes me toxic? Being in a relationship takes away from me how? I can't be successful and have a boyfriend, right?

Banilla:
You didn't give me one advice.

Seems I'll have to lower my expectations.

Advice I forgot I was supposed to give one....

However, it depends on personality.
From your write up, you will prefer to have friends who are very reliable irrespective of situation. (I think this is the major reason why I have fewer friends) .


Regardless, You will figure things out you just need time

Banilla:
Oh. I'm detached all the time. The older I get, the worse I feel.

I think this is normal...
It's shift of focus. I bet you won't be detached if you met someone that had a skill/similar interest that you have been trying to develop /learn

Urmm what was the topic again?

instead you go think about your future and where you will be you dey worry about relationship? children of nowadays 🤦

Obnoxious2001:


Advice I forgot I was supposed to give one....

However, it depends on personality.
From your write up, you will prefer to have friends who are very reliable irrespective of situation. (I think this is the major reason why I have fewer friends) .


Regardless, You will figure things out you just need time

I don't want reliable friends... I need friends who aren't simple/basic/predictable/boring/typical... A boyfriend too. Most Nigerians are stereotypical.

Banilla:
I don't want reliable friends... I need friends who aren't simple/basic/predictable/boring/typical... A boyfriend too. Most Nigerians are stereotypical.

Continue your search... I hope you find what you seek.

Don't forget to let us know the outcome

Ballzproblem2:
instead you go think about your future and where you will be you dey worry about relationship? children of nowadays 🤦

We are not all unfortunate like you and yrhuShfy113.

Narrow-minded things.

Banilla:
I need to know if I'm the only one or there are others who feel the same way... What I can do to get better...

So...

I'll be twenty soon (a few weeks) but I don't have much friends, never been on a date or even gone out, haven't been in a real relationship either. It's unusual cause it's very easy for me to meet new people and interact... But these days, I hate doing it. I have to force myself to have a conversation.

I don't know why I've changed. Last year, I only met one person who really interested me, unfortunately the relationship didn't work out. It's getting worse, I have no intention to putting myself out there to meet boys (I would really love to have a boyfriend) even though I'm so lonely.

I think it's because I have such high standards... I want a boy who would understand me. He should be funny and smart... I get bored easily so he has to capture my mind or I'll immediately lose interest. Someone sensitive but sure of himself. We would be able to talk about anything and everything. I hate people who are basic and it seems 80percent of Nigerian boys are just that... It's all about making money and being a hustler: Hennessy, iPhone and Benz... blah blah blah... They are disappointing.

I think I'm going to die alone... Aren't there pretty, intelligent boys in Nigeria? I need someone I'll get addicted to. I don't know if I should stop expecting so much...

If he doesn't exist on Nairaland, what other site can I find him?

Well I'm here.

I take good care of you and pamper you from time to time.

I love to travel so hope you're down for that, we can go to places together.

Then i love to be intimate too.

I love to teach you lots of stuff.....

Kindly drop your email here. Lets begin if you're real

you are still quite young to understand these things, tho your mental age could be high up,its quite sad that most boys in your generation have no drills or skills in wooing a lady, all they know is shawarma,grills and bills.besides that they know nothing about compatibility,besides the physical compatibility aspect,back in the day we would rehearse lines, write poems just to try to get a lady unto our creative aspects,we only had dictionaries and sex was at the very least of what comes up in a conversation because we value friendship before getting intimate,but these days getting intimate isnt as sacred at it used to be,its not even a big deal. you are a smart lady to be able to know and figure these moods about you,but the question you need to answer is if your standards and your personality are in synch?if not it could be the reason for the conflict . you would need to find a balance between who you are and what you are becoming.the challenge with smart people is they overthink stuffs in return they override.and grow trust issues. stop trying to read people just let their acts of conversation appeal to you,fact is you are most likely to fall in love with people who are intellectually compatible to you.but that is not enough, since you are a smart girl I'll give you something to play with.its called biorhythm clock you can get it on Google play store,it took me a while to find this specific app due to its accuracy.this app would help you understand how connected or bonded you are to people based on certain domains.it would also let you get to know people before they get to know you.its not 100% acurate but you can trust 85% to work for you. also do not use it to judge people.good luck

Me singing I'm a mess by Omah Lay

Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm sad
I don't know what's over me
Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm wild
I don't know what's over me
I don't know what's over me
I'm overthinking everything
At time it feel like nobody
Can understand the way I feel
'Cause I'm bleeped up totally
I don't know how to keep company
So I've been drinking cognac
I've been drinking too many shots of cognac
One for the belly, another for the broken heart
Three for addiction, four so I don't go back
Looking for somebody wey fit watch my shoulders
So, I can never be sober

Deep expression

Banilla:
We are not all unfortunate like you and yrhuShfy113.

Narrow-minded things.

am advicing you as a young girl ,get your priorities straight Nigeria is getting harder everyday by day and the thing that is entering your numbskull is boys

omale88:
you are still quite young to understand these things, tho your mental age could be high up,its quite sad that most boys in your generation have no drills or skills in wooing a lady, all they know is shawarma,grills and bills.

And I hate them all. He can spend on any girl, I want him to treat me differently.

besides that they know nothing about compatibility,besides the physical compatibility aspect,back in the day we would rehearse lines, write poems just to try to get a lady unto our creative aspects,we only had dictionaries and sex was at the very least of what comes up in a conversation because we value friendship before getting intimate,but these days getting intimate isnt as sacred at it used to be,its not even a big deal.

Sex gets boring real quick. Why don't they do this? I've written poems for boys I liked but no one ever thinks maybe I would want one too (only one boy did though). Romance is dead. I think maybe there's one sensitive soul but I haven't met any under 30.

you are a smart lady to be able to know and figure these moods about you,but the question you need to answer is if your standards and your personality are in synch?if not it could be the reason for the conflict . you would need to find a balance between who you are and what you are becoming.the challenge with smart people is they overthink stuffs in return they override.and grow trust issues. stop trying to read people just let their acts of conversation appeal to you,fact is you are most likely to fall in love with people who are intellectually compatible to you.but that is not enough, since you are a smart girl I'll give you something to play with.its called biorhythm clock you can get it on Google play store,it took me a while to find this specific app due to its accuracy.this app would help you understand how connected or bonded you are to people based on certain domains.it would also let you get to know people before they get to know you.its not 100% acurate but you can trust 85% to work for you. also do not use it to judge people.good luck

Oh! I'll check it out tonight! Thank you. I'm curious

I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want... But I really don't want someone typical.

helinues:
Me singing I'm a mess by Omah Lay



Deep expression

That's interesting

Ballzproblem2:
am advicing you as a young girl ,get your priorities straight Nigeria is getting harder everyday by day and the thing that is entering your numbskull is boys

Like I said, we are not all unfortunate like you. If you had your priorities straight, you wouldn't be on my thread trying to prove a point... Your mates are hustling, you're here arguing with a nineteen year old girl. I have a future and that's something you can't relate to.

Banilla:
That's interesting

It's actually a song I like to hear when I am out relaxing. The realm of the lyrics would be real after on rounds...

helinues:


It's actually a song I like to hear when I am out relaxing. The realm of the lyrics would be real after on rounds...

I haven't listened to the song, I'll definitely download it tonight... It's relatable.

omale88:
you are still quite young to understand these things, tho your mental age could be high up,its quite sad that most boys in your generation have no drills or skills in wooing a lady, all they know is shawarma,grills and bills.besides that they know nothing about compatibility,besides the physical compatibility aspect,back in the day we would rehearse lines, write poems just to try to get a lady unto our creative aspects,we only had dictionaries and sex was at the very least of what comes up in a conversation because we value friendship before getting intimate,but these days getting intimate isnt as sacred at it used to be,its not even a big deal. you are a smart lady to be able to know and figure these moods about you,but the question you need to answer is if your standards and your personality are in synch?if not it could be the reason for the conflict . you would need to find a balance between who you are and what you are becoming.the challenge with smart people is they overthink stuffs in return they override.and grow trust issues. stop trying to read people just let their acts of conversation appeal to you,fact is you are most likely to fall in love with people who are intellectually compatible to you.but that is not enough, since you are a smart girl I'll give you something to play with.its called biorhythm clock you can get it on Google play store,it took me a while to find this specific app due to its accuracy.this app would help you understand how connected or bonded you are to people based on certain domains.it would also let you get to know people before they get to know you.its not 100% acurate but you can trust 85% to work for you. also do not use it to judge people.good luck

I just installed the app you talked about and am seeing -93.6% on spirituality hope is not what am thinking....

Can you enlighten me a bit rabbi please

Banilla:
I haven't listened to the song, I'll definitely download it tonight... It's relatable.

Tbh, I am actually proud of Nigeria musicians. They promoted afro beat across the world. It's a good feeling seeing foreigners vibing to our local songs. Kudos to the artists and the producers.

Rema, Burna, Kiss Daniel, Adekunle Gold, Omah Lay, Ruger, Fireboy, Asake, Davido,Ayra Star, Tiwa, Wizkid and others all dropped back to front good hits...

Download the song and give feedback

Nah better fu*ck dey hungry u,notin more....

Look at what she want somebody son to do for her when she can barely do half of that for her self😂😂😂

Boredom and loneliness gbuo gi dia

Khd95:
Look at what she want somebody son to do for her when she can barely do half of that for her self😂😂😂

Boredom and loneliness gbuo gi dia

What do I want? Did you even read the post?

People like you are the reason I'm scared to date a Nigerian... This inability to reason, it's terrifying.

Dat berry still bored?

Most nairalanders are bored to their guts anyway..

Hey!

Be my friend.

Will you?

I can stimulate you.

Banilla:
Like I said, we are not all unfortunate like you. If you had your priorities straight, you wouldn't be on my thread trying to prove a point... Your mates are hustling, you're here arguing with a nineteen year old girl. I have a future and that's something you can't relate to.

and how old do you think I am lol no much difference I try tell you something but since you no wan get sense leave am