As a father, can you comfortably, without prejudice, allow your daughter get married to a man, who's in the same level as you when you married your wife?

That every human, irrespective of race, level in the society, tribe etc, has a little beginning, is a fact that cannot be taken away from the human existence. The above question is the case of two young men conversing, as I was in a bus, travelling from Awka to Enugu, then, l overheard the conversation between the two younger men, as they were like "I can't imagine my daughter marrying a struggling man after my suffering to train her up to the university level" the other one that appears to be the youngest among the duo, while throwing in his own opinion in support of what the first man said was like "Any daughter of mine that tries such seizes to be my daughter from that very moment". At first, I never wanted to join the conversation because, they're seemingly guys in their early thirties, not until the conversation became tensed, that was when I took permission to join them.

I never asked them about their ages but didn't fail to ask them about their respective occupations, the younger man said he repairs and sales phone accessories at Eke-awka market while the one that appeared much older, but I'm quite certain he's not more than thirty five years, said he has a tricycle(Keke) that he's riding on hire-purchase, that he also has a son and two daughters.

As the conversation propagated, I started telling them that I was just a dispatch rider cycling round the streets of Yenagoa and Bayelsa State, when I found my girlfriend, who's now my wife, I was earning a little higher than 12k monthly. One day, I said enough is enough as I was so ashamed of telling people that I'm a university graduate of environmental sciences from Nnamdi Azikiwe University. I went home and joined the oil business, through which God turned my condition around. I didn't abandon the woman who was there with me, when I was just a struggling guy. After several years of graduation, I came back to Unizik to get my MSc.

Then back to the guys, I told them to let go off that mentality because, if the fathers of their respective wives had that type of mentality, I don't think It would be possible for them to be with their wives, and this brought me back to the question I asked earlier,

As a father, can you comfortably, without prejudice, allow your daughter to get married to a man who's in the same level that you were, when you married her mother??

farano
Rocktation
dominique
nlfpmod
Seun

No. Things have changed. The 12k you earned, that sustained you and your wife for a month can't be used to buy a bag or rice.

Cost of rent, transportation, food and education has skyrocketed! And it's getting worse.

Let's be realistic.

I don't think it's logical to get married unless you and your partner have a combined monthly income of 200k. If you want to have children, the amount should be between 200k - 500k.

It's like going back to square 1

we all have our path in life and as much as we want the best for our children, their path may be different than ours. just because i was "somehow" at 18, doesnt mean that any person my children meet at 18 will be like me NOR does it mean that the outcome of their life choices would be the same as mine. as a father, i would simply let them know about my experience, not to try to sway them, but just to let them know what may happen. at the end of the day, they have to make their own choices in life, and live with the outcome of their choices.

MrBrownJay1:
we all have our path in life and as much as we want the best for our children, their path may be different than ours. just because i was "somehow" at 18, doesnt mean that any person my children meet at 18 will be like me NOR does it mean that the outcome of their life choices would be the same as mine. as a father, i would simply let them know about my experience, not to try to sway them, but just to let them know what may happen. at the end of the day, they have to make their own choices in life, and live with the outcome of their choices.

I like this comment.

though my kids may be too tender, all we ,as parents have to do is advice them, like you said above, guild and guard them through prayers and also let them know that every choice made, has its own consequences whether positive or negative.

Flames40:
It's like going back to square 1

if we all begin to think this way, I believe that there will be fewer marriages. Father in-law can raise his son in-law from grass to grace, from zero to hero, from consumer to producer, that has been my prayers to uplift my future son in-law (though, not wishing my daughter(s) bad), to have enough in such a way that I'll not depend on my son in-law nor open office on his head.

DamnnNiggarr:
if we all begin to think this way, I believe that there will be fewer marriages. Father in-law can raise his son in-law from grass to grace, from zero to hero, from consumer to producer, that has been my prayers to uplift my future son in-law (though, not wishing my daughter(s) bad), to have enough in such a way that I'll not depend on my son in-law nor open office on his head.

Thanks for your correction sir. I need a help if u can