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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling (40978 Views)
Selfish Sibling Willing To Do Anything To Solely Inherit / Can One Have 4 Cars Parked At Home And Still Have A Sibling Using Keke To Work? / Should I Distance Myself From My Family? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by like1: 9:19pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust: See mumu, you have a wife at home but your older sister is not married but u think she is doing better than you. Na your sister fit una. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by VenExchangee: 9:19pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
SUFFERInSMILIIN:So why sounding like it's cheap in abroad? I was just letting you know it's not easy and mind you Canadian dollar and US dollar is not same rate o 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Nnamaka1: 9:19pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
You dont know what your elder sister is going through abroad. maybe she has put her hands into what she isnt supposed posed to, You dont know. Abroad life is one kind ooo. Most people go overseas without being very cautious about their life style and ends up getting really screwed. The best you can do is to try and go join her maybe then you can see for yourself what she is battling with 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Brandiebird: 9:20pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
I reckon that your sister is busy keeping up with the Joneses. If she really cared about her parents and their well-being, she would cut down on her expenditures; maybe live in a smaller property, buy a less fancy car, buy less make up and clothes, and send the money home. To those thinking abroad is hard, it’s only hard anywhere in the world when you live above your means. She’s a disloyal child and I pray her actions don’t come back to haunt her. Op, do your best and leave the rest to God. 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Napata77: 9:20pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
xavuv: Don't mind the guy. Maybe she's even a cleaner or a care assistant there, with her Masters. There are NIGERIANS with even PhD in America driving taxi or working as security guards. Quote me anywhere. And it's not because there's anything wrong with them. They just couldn't break in. She's black, from Africa. It's not easy for them to get work that matches their qualifications. There is racism in those countries. They think because she's in Canada, she's earning 10 million naira a month. Maybe she even borrowed that 100k to send to her mum. 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:22pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
As I said abroad nobody is giving Nigerian good job anymore. What do white people are doing is just using the black to pay their debts. See this Nigerian lady in America complaining bitterly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ9MBxPCHTA |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by HaneefahRN(f): 9:22pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
You all should leave her be. Not everyone will be useful to family some people can be very stingy. Even if I want to be stingy se it is to my parents? As long as she has a valid visa in Canada and has a job she can afford to pay 450K for her mum's hospital bills. Someone that has stayed 5 years people wey dey countries with not as much money sef can be more useful if they chose to. Anyways parents should stop seeing money spent on children as investment for old age sha. 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by blackgold2018(m): 9:23pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
ZIMDRILL:she might have not finished her masters sef. Or she never went to the school. But one thing is sure that op sister might not be doing well the way he thinks But op small brain can’t think that 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by emmanuelbrown26: 9:23pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust:Never u take advice of a nairaland female, bcs they don't reason or align with technical issue u are battling with 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by bigdammyj: 9:24pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Reading... |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by donsheddy1(m): 9:24pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Make I tell am? In the African (Nigerian) settings, what she's doing now is a problem and an evil act. Parents training a child is an obligation. The child did not beg parents to bring him/her to this world. Parents need to work and save for the night time as children were never meant to be retirement plans. Having said all these, Your parents didn't give birth to only her. If she have 10k, that's what she have so you and your parents should deal with it. She has been born so she needs to setup her own life just as you too needs to do too. Share the bills. 6 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by theamazonguru(m): 9:25pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
deewhydoski: Hmmnnnn But it's only morally right to reciprocate the good gesture done by these parents. They could have chosen to not invest in our education. They could have chosen to be spending their money their way,on themselves, frivolities, aso ebi and weekend owambe neglecting child care. Thankfully they chose to do what they felt was right. I believe good children should in turn hold the weary hands of their parents at old age , put smiles on their faces, ensure they are at least comfortable to whatever extent we are capable of without being a burden to us though. I have someone that told me, his parents and siblings shouldn't see him as ATM machine. Lol. This was when I was advising him to be helping his family, because I heard he was looking the other way even though he is really doing well. What a life. Anyways, everyone should do as his/her heart pleases. Whatever rocks each one's boat. 9 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by HaneefahRN(f): 9:25pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Danlax: Pray for a good, kind hearted healthy child no matter the gender. There are sons that use their parents for rituals. It is not about gender, it is about the individual 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:26pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
HaneefahRN: Please do not judge somebody by how many years they have stayed in that country watch my YouTube video above this one. Let me explain to you one thing which happens in the developed world all the white people are doing is transferring their debts to the Blacks especially Nigerians. More than 65% of Nigerians in America are in massive debt. Going abroad does not mean you have gotten a golden opportunity I can tell you right now in developed countries 70% of Nigerians and bottom feeders. Specially in the employment ranking ranking. Do you think 95 immigrant in America in income is a joke. Most Nigerians abroad and like people at home they just pulled themselves and be suffering 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Sirchiboy: 9:27pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust:. How old are you? 1 Like |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by UNDFTD: 9:27pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Like they say, "All that glitter is NOT gold." Your elder sister may be in Canada but that does NOT necessarily mean she is doing as well as you might think or she might have led you to believe. There are lots of foreigners including Nigerians who are struggling abroad in whatever country they find themselves but are too ashamed to let their families know exactly what they are going through. First of all, you need to find out what's her current immigration status. Is she a permanent resident of Canada, a citizen or is she out of status...illegally staying in the country after her student visa expired? These are the things you need to ascertain before you can start to blame her for doing or NOT doing what was expected of her. Secondly, has she completed her education and is able to work full time assuming her status allows her to do so? Simply because she is a permanent resident or a Canadian citizen does NOT necessarily guarantee that she would get the job that would be paying her so much, after all she is still a foreigner and a black person at that. You have a lot of foreigners with all their degrees who are NOT working in their field of study. As it is now, she might be finding it hard to even pay her own bills--rent, utility, car note, insurance, food, etc. and you do not know that. And still, she is expected to cater for her family back home. She might be engaged in a menial job that pays her just enough to sustain herself and anytime she goes over her budget, she would be in dire straits. So, I said all this to say that you NOT be quick to pass judgment on your sister until you find out her true situation in Canada. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Connected1: 9:30pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust:Wow, you have achieved all these and I am sure you sister isn't married yet but you don't think about that. Don't compare the financial capacity of a man to that of a woman, she may have hidden struggles, somehow I feel if you weren't too judgemental and started flowing with her well, you may understand her predicament. It has happened to me, a sister too but she's not in overseas. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by SUFFERInSMILIIN(m): 9:30pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
VenExchangee: I was talking about what of living in Nigeria is because of the high rate of poverty in the nation. I am not talking about abroad |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by like1: 9:31pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
HaneefahRN: The thing is, how sure are you she has a valid visa. How sure are you she has a job? how sure are you she is not still on students visa working 20 hours a week. How sure are you she doesn't have health challenges. 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by offongk(m): 9:34pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Your sister is financings one man bill that Bleep her well 7 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by grandstar(m): 9:34pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust One should never be too quick to judge. I haven't heard her own side of the story I have this philosophy in life to some extent: Try and measure up to what is expected of you. I presently cater to relations who I could have shunned. I ensure they have enough to eat despite the fact that presently, things aren't good for me financially. Try and meet up to your requirements. At times, I even borrow. Since your sister knew what was expected of her, she should have done her best to either meet up to those demands or even try. I feel she is seriously slacking. By now, she should have brought one of you over or be seriously planning too. The fact she hasn't done so is an indictment on her part. I have a step cousin in the US who is quite wealthy and notoriously stingy. When she comes, her brother gives her a jeep and a driver to take her where ever she is going. All those who have driven her have complained she drops nothing for food. She does not even fuel the jeep. There was a time she came and dropped 6 checks covering 6 months of care for her mother. Each was 4,000 per month Your sister try self Funny thing, when my dad was hospitalised she brought some herbal supplements for him, American size big bundles. Many have a fondness for my dad because most lived in our house at one time or the others. I think it was from our house she travelled overseas. 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by koolaid87: 9:34pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
pbethel: Op, your sister can't be reasoned with. Just dey your lane and do all your best for your family. I commend you and your fellow siblings doing more despite having less. Your Sister unfortunately is a narcissist. Most Women are like that. They just want control and nothing else. They are emotional but still can't be empathetic to one's struggle. I feel for you cos I have one just like that. May blessings come your way. Peace to your parents 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by IamtheTruth1(m): 9:37pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust: Did you ever care to talk to her and actually find out if she is not struggling there? People should have these mindset that no one owes you anything. Even ur blood brother doesn't owe you anything. Well if truly your Sis is doing well and she isn't helping then that is not good. Believe me you can spend 10yrs overseas and still struggle. Life is just grace. 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by transient123(m): 9:41pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust: It's a pity things have gone this sour. My sincere advice is, blank her out and carry your responsibilities by taking good care of your parents and younger one. She could be going through serious challenges which she didn't disclose. It could be very challenging, trust me, when you rely on God then whatever you can do, God has a way of ensuring what she ought to be giving will come through you to your parents and sibling. Never rely on humans, it will make you very independent and trusting God always. You will appear in the sight of man big, they will respect you beyond your understanding, it's God's way of doing things . Just ensure your sustenance is clean. Shikena! 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by sevenseas(m): 9:42pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Obviously, u never lived in the west. Parents take care of themselves. The money she gets is just enough for her. Be happy she send 40k. There is little or no avenue to 'chop/fraud/embezzle' money like u have in naija. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by grandstar(m): 9:42pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
xavuv: You have a point but the will is the most important thing. I know a lady who was British by birth but lived in Nigeria until she was in her 20s. Their father had abandoned her and her 4 siblings when they were still young. The youngest was still in the mum's belly. This lady travelled in her 20s and worked hard to bring all her siblings to join her. Eventually, all were abroad, including their mum. I have travelled to the UK. I see many Nigerians working as security guards and our women as nurses. Many are also doing white collar jobs. Her you trying to say after 5 years she won't have known how to thrive in Canada? What skills to learn that will bring in money? My younger brother is a nurse in the US and earns over $100k a year. 3 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by ednut1(m): 9:42pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
You don’t know if she is in debt abroad, huge mortgage, unemployed or has issues you know nothing about. African parents should plan for their future and stop this entitlement. 2 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Adebaba1(m): 9:43pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
Boss your sister is selfish or you people have scammed her before. Because I cant imagine how a lady who has spent 5 years in Canada and has canadian masters degree, sends only 40k every month. The story is not complete Something is definitely wrong somewhere 4 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Paramount01(m): 9:44pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust:lolZ you think is that easy? |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by Nobody: 9:45pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
CosmicDust: Oga, have you asked your sister how life is over there? Seriously, have you. I myself have siblings abroad. One of them , e take about ten to twelve years before he was able to be in a position where he could say 'yes I am comfortable and earning enough.' Ten to twelve years of sharing house with others, being underpaid at one job, side hustles, and so forth. Did not get first car till last year (meanwhile me wey dey for Naija dey drive car for ten years self). Masters degree holder self.' The other is just managing. Just because person live abroad does not mean that they are enjoying. Even the one of my siblings that is comfortable...his power bill in one month is equal to 4 months power bill in Nigeria. I know things are tough for you , and it is hard, but first better put yourself in your sister's shoes, better ask how she is doing...and listen to her ,man.....and you may understand some things. 6 Likes |
Re: Why I Chose To Distance Myself From A Sibling by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:45pm On Mar 31, 2023 |
blackgold2018: might be remember the guy said she has been there for 5 years roughly meaning if she had the right papers am sure she would have visited in the past 5 years, the fact that she hasnt points are her not having papers and thats explains she might not financialy stable |
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