Please don't laugh.... I remember so many years ago in church, it was a vigil. I was sleeping and the next thing I heard was "come out"....

I came out and everyone was laughing, it was then I knew that those that were asked to come out, were those who are pregnant, and those expecting the fruit of the womb... I was so embarrassed...

My seat became far from the pulpit, in my mind.. Fada lurd let the ground just swallow me. Kai.

Please share your experience

I followed my friend to a deeper life church and the agbaya pastor sent me home because of my dressing saying it was too short.

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My prick stood

Came out as a first timer in one particular church that I seldomly go cos of freebies, never knew one usher would recognise me cos I thought I had attended the church long ago... The lady acted like a monitoring spirit, told me the colour of clothes I wore the last time I came, and that I also came with a friend, that she was the one who attended to us by writing down our names.... Omo I remain dumb....last last dem still give me fried rice and Miranda.. This was during school days.

Adebisi0070:
Please don't laugh.... I remember so many years ago in church, it was a vigil. I was sleeping and the next thing I heard was "come out".... I came out and everyone was laughing, it was then I knew that those that were asked to come out, were those who are pregnant, and those expecting the fruit of the womb... I was so embarrassed... My seat became far from the pulpit, in my mind.. Fada lurd let the ground just swallow me. Kai
Please share your experience

lol, you don come out from your temporary confinement. How you dey

Tallesty1 that was funny, hahaha

I was invited to a church ppl usually fall under the anointing. During prayers the pastor blew breeze into the mic and everybody was down. I was the only one standing. I taught the pastor would have come near me but he avoided me like a plague. My own anointing for don disgrace him that day. Ppl wey dem don chop their head

Night vigil or vigil was the problem!

My neighbour never preached to me because he knew i was a Muslim but when he noticed that i started listening to Jehovah's Witnesses and studying the Bible with them he decided to invited me to come to their church vigil.
I never knew that's how mosquitoes feast on the blood of people who comes to worship God so when these gigantic pests came i couldn't do anything throughout that night i kept checking my watch for the time i will go back home to treat myself. Everything the Baba Abiara was saying seems like noise to me as i couldn't concentrate with hundreds of thousands of mosquitoes as big as flies were feasting on people's blood. I killed few but my shirt was condemned as the bloodstains stick to my white shirt never to be washed away.
That was the first and last vigil i attended all my life!

bobestman:
I was invited to a church ppl usually fall under the anointing. During prayers the pastor blew breeze into the mic and everybody was down. I was the only one standing. I taught the pastor would have come near me but he avoided me like a plague. My own anointing for don disgrace him that day. Ppl wey dem don chop their head

Talk true, you be ogbanje!
Why holly spirit no fit enter you?

That was in 2018. I attended a baptist church sunday sch in Ibadan,out of nowhere I was signified to give the closing prayer. I was totally dumfounded,but I managed to stand up to pray,but alas,I kept on stammering to d extent even I struggled to hear what I was saying. People weren't even saying Amen they couldn't hear jack of what I was saying. After d prayer i shamefuly opened my eyes and d glances on people's face towards me said it all.

Since then I went to learn how to pray and I've improved now.

AntiChristian:


Talk true, you be ogbanje!
Why holly spirit no fit enter you?

Na ogbanje suppose fear pastor na. No be the other way round. You call holy spirit any how without understanding. Be careful so you don't damn your soul. Many don't understand that personality. Have told you your head slamming religion had more errors than that of christianity. You are like a blind man trying to cure the blindness of another blind man not knowing that both of you are quietly walking into a deep pit

It was during one of the canonical visitation by our then bishop,I bought a digital camera then and wanted to take photos of our bishop, wasn't good at using the camera,the first time I went to take his picture, Bishop posed very well for me to take his picture,I was flashing him the camera without knowing that my fingers were covering the lens, Bishop waited till after church when he was going out with other clergy men and I went to take his picture again still covering my camera lens,Man gave me correction by giving me the biggest knock of my life on my head before the whole congregation, whatever desire that I had to become a photographer was killed that very moment being an introvert and having to find myself in such awkward situation with almost all the church members looking at me,even my bestie then laughed generational wickedness out of me.Odili Okeke, your correction was too harsh on innocent me.

Deleted

Usher try to seize my phone

IyaebeTheGreat:
I followed my friend to a deeper life church and the agbaya pastor sent me home because of my dressing saying it was too short.

Yo

Hmmm

None actually

I was young then, say about 6 years or so.

It was during our Catechism class, a lot of children were seated in the hall, with a few adults standing around, managing us. I think I either zoned out or didn't hear clearly but I heard the teacher at the front say "Who can give us a poem?"

My hand shot up immediately and I was summoned up the aisle. I took the microphone and screamed "Pussy cat, pussy cat where have you been??" My God. The speed with which the teacher snatched the microphone from me and the heavy laughter that followed from all corners gave me that "I don jones" vibe.

He put one hand on my back to push me gently so I can start walking down and off the stage when he said "Not that type, God poem! God poem!!"

The walk to my seat long Gaan.. The eyes, the laughter, the pity on some faces.. My God 🚶🏾‍♂️

When I was little, while in the main/adult church i got corrected by an usher to sit in a different position. I was furious, responded by pointing the middle finger to him, and I said Bleep YOU.


Long story short, the ushers took me upstairs and make sure the knocked the middle finger, which i used with cane, till I cried my self a river.

O

IyaebeTheGreat:
I followed my friend to a deeper life church and the agbaya pastor sent me home because of my dressing saying it was too short.

Instead of him to take you to a private place after service for counseling and drill your ***** in the name of the lord

During offering, Everyone way dey my roll comot finish only me remain..shishi I no carry!.... I nearly win disappear!

dem say make we contribute money, I no get shishi... naso dem kon de beef me o... I surprise o... I no even kon de go church again sef since 8 years now... believe me.... since I quit church I get peace of mind... no nonsense see finish... no sowing of seed in another man's life... and God de answer my prayer back to back... I de carry person salary buy drink now... to be successful and progressive in life is not by going to church and die at pastor's feet... talk to God one on one... he get him own ears... I no need one barawo with suit, long tie, and big bible to show me God... I know God myself... make I continue de sip my paraga before fanatics rush me like shawarma... iyalaje fun mi ni shot kan si