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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Avoid My Mom? (23594 Views)
I Am 20 And My Mom Wants To Throw Me Out. / Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually / I'm Not Happy With My Mom's Behaviour Towards My Adopted Sister (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by BRATISLAVA: 8:33pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Soylife: When you guys finally have empathy, real empathy, and can understand why people behave the way they do, you will finally learn to accommodate certain behaviors. For all you know, he's not been a stellar child himself or he knows his parent has mental health issues. These things happen. Instead he's come here to paint a devil. Let him cut her off. Or whatever else is prescribed here. Many people work for toxic bosses for a long time, under much worse conditions but will never cut them off, instead they learn to manage them. But heavens forbid a family member does what they don't like. It's off to the guillotine for them. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Soylife(m): 8:41pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Babastrong:Nonsense! No be the mama decide get belle,dem beg am,so bcus she gave birth to a child and brought up the child,she can do whatever she wishes,make she kuku kill am na. No worry by the time you marry wife wey be chief manipulator you go understand. 4 Likes |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Femisol(m): 8:47pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
This is what they use to manipulate and gaslight African youths. Let’s be rational and stop using Bible to manipulate people mrblessed: 1 Like |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Babastrong(m): 8:52pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
[quote author=Soylife post=122790991] Nonsense! No be the mama decide get belle,dem beg am,so bcus she gave birth to a child and brought up the child,she can do whatever she wishes,make she kuku kill am na. No worry by the time you marry wife wey be chief manipulator you go understand.[ So you think you're talking to someone at the age of 30's. These flat headies actual wake up their parents with legs. Mind you i am married with 3 children. I gave my advice as a parent and a good child.] |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by RhodaNelly: 8:53pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Op your complains about your mom is very vague as you failed to give us a clear picture of one of the occurrences.... like giving us a typical example of such occurrence. As in narrate the story well on how she does it before we can know how to come in and advice you appropriately. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Ortintin: 9:00pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
truthCoder: Brilliant |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Soylife(m): 9:00pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
BRATISLAVA:You are speaking like this because you haven't experienced what the op is going through. Do you know what it means for a child to be going through all this early in life,parents are already mentally equipped to manage a child and all their troubles but a child needs all the love and care of the parents to grow into a confident person. Most children that face issues like this grow to have self esteem issues, depression and anxiety disorders. Dealing with a toxic boss is different,I don't expect love from him,if he is a nice person,good,if not I work and go home but a toxic mother is different,her words and opinions matters to you. Do you know if your mum tells people that her child is bad chances that they will believe her without hearing from you is high. What the Op's mother is doing is very bad because what she is doing would continue to cause issues and problems even after she is gone 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Soylife(m): 9:08pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
[quote author=Babastrong post=122791197][/quote] So you are past 30,your advice be like wetin pikin go type |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Kobojunkie: 9:08pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
BRATISLAVA:1. It is not my theory as that is what scripture makes clear on the subject of prayer... it is just as useless a problem-resolution method as any other out there for all unrighteous people. So, it shouldn't be brought up at all. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by BRATISLAVA: 9:10pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Soylife: Some parents aren't mentally equipped to handle children, and that's the thing nobody here wants to acknowledge. They are people prone to failure like everyone else, too. They aren't perfect people. Even the op isn't a perfect person. Some people will say their toxic boss has made them depressed and suicidal, but they've never left their job. Quite alright the expectations are different, but managing a boss is managing a person, just as managing the failings of a parent who is also a person. The thing is that most responses here are emotional, without t even considering if his own mother was scarred by her own upbringing, if she has a mental health issue, if his childhood was traumatic to her. There's no excuse for bad parenting, but people should understand that most people with antisocial behaviors are on a spectrum or have mental health issues. Cutting off, shutting down will not cure the child or parent. It's only covering resentment. Creating more damage in future generations. Empathy works better. Care, too. The advice on the thread will not help anyone who doesn't want to conceal wounds and create more hurt 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by BRATISLAVA: 9:10pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Lol. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Babastrong(m): 9:18pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
[quote author=Soylife post=122791588] So you are past 30,your advice be like wetin pikin go type[ Ok, he should beat his mother the way you did the other time. Eni ti aye e ti jo na, ko ni koona mo ti wa.] |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Soylife(m): 9:37pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
BRATISLAVA:Parents that are not mentally equipped don't have business raising children. If a father or mother has mental health issues that is affecting their behaviour let them seek solution. An innocent kid should not suffer from issues affecting the mother. If the mother faced bad upbringing,she should seek help. There is no excuse here for the mother,she purposely causes rifts in the family,do you know this can cause permanent discord between two siblings. I have seen things like this happen. She should be the one bonding them not separating them. If I should follow your logic,if the op should become a bad mum tomorrow she should be excused because she had a bad upbringing and people should instead show empathy towards her. To the op,protect your mental health,if you think you have been affected by your mum's toxicity visit a psychologist 1 Like |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by BRATISLAVA: 9:48pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Soylife: Whether equipped to or not, they will go ahead to have children because that's what society demands. Being damaged doesn't mean they don't have desires like everyone else. Their problem is that they can't manage it or help themselves. How do you think bad parents come to be? How do you think abusers come to be? Most of them grew up in such environments and become the monster of their childhood. His mother is a hurt person hurting people in return. Some of these problems are health related issues, too. Cutting them off, blocking them, ignoring them will not help either party. It's a temporary fix and only results in needless death. The living party will continue to live in bondage. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by nobleagu: 10:10pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
You didn't get tired of her when you were growing up, it is then now! Are you sure you aren't the problem. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by 7upnigeria: 11:17pm On Apr 27, 2023 |
Ahmed0336: Which one be "one day she will no longer be there". Na you wan kill her ni. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Tranquility2345: 3:37am On Apr 28, 2023 |
moadxist2: The Bible says. Who wrote the Bible? Na spirit? Abi na man wey get flesh and blood like you? |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Tranquility2345: 3:40am On Apr 28, 2023 |
Divoc19: She can bless you how? Foolish talk |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Tranquility2345: 3:49am On Apr 28, 2023 |
onlyboyson: Second God? Did he ask to be born by her? Very idiotic comment |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by MeaslesMumpsRub: 4:23am On Apr 28, 2023 |
Women of all ages and financial status are melodramatic |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by franklingud(m): 8:14am On Apr 28, 2023 |
whyteteeth:I had to do this because of plenty comments. Just view it this way.... She has done her part in life. She has married, got her own kids, gotten old and also She's seen her grand children. In other words her time is getting over soon. But you are still single, yet to fulfill many life's requirements. Just tolerate her excesses, don't always pay attention to her nagging, sometimes hugs her and tell her "it's well mum". I think she's seeking attention due to old age. Lastly, focus on getting your own life partner. And seek peace of mind. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by rotwailler(m): 2:47pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
I will buy android for your mom and register her on nairaland make she see watin her daughter dey talk about her, then you will see the true colors she has been hiding😁 She report you to your siblings while you now report her to town hall ba la bu. Kontinew |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by onlyboyson(m): 5:48pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
Tranquility2345:Na this mumu go use him mama do sacrifice |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by onlyboyson(m): 5:49pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
stormborn28:Akpa amu |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by stormborn28(m): 5:55pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
onlyboyson:Ewu Gambia |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by onlyboyson(m): 6:14pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
stormborn28:Ewe ohia |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by stormborn28(m): 8:12pm On Apr 28, 2023 |
onlyboyson:Zaria malu |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by Ilekokonit: 4:45am On Apr 29, 2023 |
whyteteeth: She doesn't listen to your Dad means you stand no chance with her and she will never change and she will surely show your wife shege and your wife may decide that she has had enough and pack out of your house when she can't bear it anymore. People like that need to be corrected each time they cross a red line and when she starts guilt tripping you just walk out of the house. If it wasn't your sisters house you were living, then "maybe" she would think twice before coming to stress you in a house yo are paying for. If care is not taking, hope on one of her visits she doesn't make you lose your job since you work from home. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by onlyboyson(m): 6:23am On Apr 29, 2023 |
stormborn28:Ikpu name gi |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by whyteteeth: 11:39am On Apr 30, 2023 |
Ilekokonit: Omo the kind shege wey I dey see for that woman hand, if e dey possible to change mama, I for don do am. |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by stormborn28(m): 1:46pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
onlyboyson: Otunegi Oma |
Re: Should I Avoid My Mom? by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:41pm On Apr 30, 2023 |
moadxist2: point of correction honouring your father and mother doesnt give you blessings, what it simply means if you can not honour people who raised you it will be hard to honour a stranger, a stranger who can be a blessing by eg giving you ideas to makes money etc (thats the blessing its self ) |
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