I have been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more.

We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.

To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt.

So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off.

I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me.

Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out?

Egungun don dey wan enter express small small.

Zero respect and trust plus a good dose of pathologic lying.

I believe you are over 40 or close to 40

For your cardio vascular health you need to take things more easy and with more patience

She is the one who has trust issues...

She doesn't trust you can handle her truth and she keeps hiding many things from you because you are extremely judgemental of her


Now analyze your own emotions by answering this questions

1: why are you angry
2: why are you happy
3: why are you anxious
4: why are you stressed out
5: why are you disappointed


.

Hhmm

In all this your CIA work, you have never seen that she is with a man or in a man's house. I also like the fact that you don't rely on "them say...them say", but do the work and come up with evidence of where she is. These places come out clean, the problem is she distorts facts. That counts for something.

The issue here is that you might be a possessive partner, so she has to twist things a bit. It is bad, very bad, but many partners do it when they know who they are dating/married to.

If she is picking other calls but not picking yours ALONE, then wherever she went to, wasn't the worst place to be. If you were a woman, you will be advised to give your husband breathing space. Stop checking his phones and or monitoring him.

So, I will suggest you don't give yourself high bp. Is this grounds for separation? I can't be the one to tell you the level of emotional abuse you should endure. That decision is yours to take.

Your wife has the characteristics of a Nigerian tailor or artisan. Is she one?

Maybe give her some space. Guys who are too clingy irritate the hell out of women and, of course, men.

What's the age gap between you two? Are you the indoor type? and is that in contrast with her own nature?

Have you been caught cheating previously?

Personally, I can't stand the lies. But, that may be coming up because of previous situations where you ill-respinded.

I'm getting the, "my wife should be at home when I'm around type of vibes from your write up." Doesn't go well for the man at the end of the day.

Hmm Oga sofriisofri

What caused the trust issues? Is it matters like this or you have caught her with a man before?

But you try sha, tracking your wife's location on top wetin laslas she was still with the woman, the worse possible scenerio here was they were inside the house not the car as stated and it's possibly because she knows you were going to make a fuss about it.

The issue is she won't really tell you the exact truth because of the way you handled previous situations, which is not entirely right but with all you have typed here I don't blame her. she will rather tell you what you want to hear so you can let her be.

In her mind as long as she's not cheating on you or seeing another man she's okay.

Possibly you should stop tracking her.

pocohantas:
In all this your CIA work, you have never seen that she is with a man or in a man's house. I also like the fact that you don't rely on "them say...them say", but do the work and come up with evidence of where she is. These places come out clean, the problem is she distorts facts. That counts for something.

The issue here is that you might be a possessive partner, so she has to twist things a bit. It is bad, very bad, but many partners do it when they know who they are dating/married to.

If she is picking other calls but not picking yours ALONE, then wherever she went to, wasn't the worst place to be. If you were a woman, you will be advised to give your husband breathing space. Stop checking his phones and or monitoring him.

So, I will suggest you don't give yourself high bp. Is this grounds for separation? I can't be the one to tell you the level of emotional abuse you should endure. That decision is yours to take.

Your wife has the characteristics of a Nigerian tailor or artisan. Is she one?

Lool at bolded, Nigerian artisans can lie so comfortably ehn. Fear will catch the devil Gan.

NoToPile:





Lool at bolded, Nigerian artisans can lie so comfortably ehn. Fear will catch the devil Gan.

You sabi them well well. Maybe she be tailor.
Some occupation dey affect your personal life and you will see lies as nothing.

pocohantas:


You sabi them well well. Maybe she be tailor.
Some occupation dey affect your personal life and you will see lies as nothing.

Hahaha
It's like tailors have done you strong thing before.

The lying just comes naturally.

pocohantas:


You sabi them well well. Maybe she be tailor.
Some occupation dey affect your personal life and you will see lies as nothing.

When God of tailors come for you, I no dey oh!

Tailor traumatize you reach this level??

NoToPile:





Lool at bolded, Nigerian artisans can lie so comfortably ehn. Fear will catch the devil Gan.

No be only Nigerian artisans, Pakistani artisans dey the same Whatsapp group. My neighbour hired a bathroom renovator who is Pakistani alongside his worker, dem go come work 9a.m and work till 1p.m and give the excuse they are going for lunch, they drive off in their van, only to return around 5p.m and work for another 30 mins and call it a day....dem dey run 2 projects at the same time!

My neighbour had to bear their shenanigans because she was paying them less than what a White British contractor would have charged.

NoToPile:


Hahaha
It's like tailors have done you strong thing before.

The lying just comes naturally.

kkins25:
When God of tailors come for you, I no dey oh!

Tailor traumatize you reach this level??

Is there anyone that they haven't shown pepper? The story long abeg.

You are unnecessarily troubling yourself.
Let her be.
You are stalking her.
Give her some space. That will give you peace of mind.

twang414:
... I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

OP, You don't seem to have real trust issues as none of what you said indicates that you have ever in fact caught your wife cheating on you? You sound a lot more like someone who has serious control issues. I would recommend you seek professional therapy at this point in your life before you end up killing yourself from all that stress you are packing there.

Here's the doozy for you! If your wife decided to cheat on you, no amount of your monitoring behavior can stop that from happening nor guarantee you will know of it right when it ever happens. So, you need to get over yourself because you are your own problem in your marriage. Seek professional help as soon as you can so you can begin to live and maybe even enjoy your marriage without all these leashes you keep on yourself thinking you keep it on your wife instead. She no be dog abeg!

juman:
You are unnecessarily troubling yourself. Let her be. You are stalking her.
Give her some space. That will give you peace of mind.

Plainly put! People should avoid marrying their stalkers abeg!

To have peace of mind, let assume she had sex with somebody, you ask yourself and so what?
She is still your wife.
Have open mind about life and give yourself peace of mind.

Mindlog:


No be only Nigerian artisans, Pakistani artisans dey the same Whatsapp group. My neighbour hired a bathroom renovator who is Pakistani alongside his worker, dem go come work 9a.m and work till 1p.m and give the excuse they are going for lunch, they drive off in their van, only to return around 5p.m and work for another 30 mins and call it a day....dem dey run 2 projects at the same time!

My neighbour had to bear their shenanigans because she was paying them less than what a White British contractor would have charged.

Hahaha na d same watsap group them dey true true.

Kobojunkie:
Plainly put! People should avoid marrying their stalkers abeg!

You are right.
Its harassment.
He debased and disrespected her.
Her friend would pity her for having that kind of unreasonable husband.
The husband should have free mind and let her live her life.

You had trust issues. Yet you agreed to come to the UK with your wife. I suspect you are the guy who was on here last year seeking counsel on this same issue, while you were still in Nigeria. Yet you came along with her.

My suggestion is, stop what you are doing right now. You are controlling your wife and if she uses that as evidence against you in the future, you will go to prison for a long while. Your wife is not your property. She has a right to go anywhere she wants to and come back when she wants or likes, without having to be troubled by you with phone calls and requests for video call evidence. That is the view of the governmental authorities here. What you have already done in calling her as you have been doing is termed controlling behaviour. Google it and check out the sentencing that will be imposed. Now her friend has become involved and will serve as a witness of your controlling behaviour and her part in pacifying you.

You brought your master to the UK against the advice you were given here last year. Learn to live with it. If you go to prison, you will regret life in this country. I know someone who is currently in prison because of this. All his hopes and aspirations are dashed at such a young age. Be very careful. Don't go ruining your life. Treat your wife as an equal partner who has her own choices, makes her own friends, goes and comes as she pleases. That is a friendly advice if you do not want to spend time serving His Majesty. And you know what happens when you are done serving His Majesty.

If you manage to come out of this unscathed, next time take very good care who you marry. Your partner practically has the power of life and death over you in this country.

twang414:
been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more. We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.
To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt. So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off. I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

You have become more like a tracking app, calm down.

If I say make una go for sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist, na about £100 per session, which is between 50mins-60mins.

Yes

pocohantas:

Your wife has the characteristics of a Nigerian tailor or artisan. Is she one?

😂

gaby:
Egungun don dey wan enter express small small.

Zero respect and trust plus a good dose of pathologic lying.

Pathologic liars would drive anyone insane. 😢

Because you can’t trust them, your brain and mind go just dey work overtime, dey run overheat.

God abeg… 🙏🤲😢

kkins25:
Maybe give her some space. Guys who are too clingy irritate the hell out of women and, of course, men.

What's the age gap between you two? Are you the indoor type? and is that in contrast with her own nature?

Have you been caught cheating previously?

Personally, I can't stand the lies. But, that may be coming up because of previous situations where you ill-respinded.

I'm getting the, "my wife should be at home when I'm around type of vibes from your write up." Doesn't go well for the man at the end of the day.

.

In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

twang414:
■ In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky,
■ That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do,
■I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal?
■ What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?
■I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

1. So, basically, you don't have solid evidence that this 10-year unresolved issue which you continue to hold against her actually took place yet you believe it did, and you remained in the marriage with her even with this? Ogbeni, please you need to learn to let things go for your own sake. It also seems this unresolved issue between you two needs resolving or addressing at this point. Kindly, consider consulting a professional marriage therapist abeg!

2. No, you haven't!

3. So, your agreement with your wife is that you pay 80% whereas she pays 20%? Is that the agreement between you two?

4. Your wife messed up, from your explanation, but so did you, from your OP where you come off as some sort of monitoring-spirit than a husband pissed about his wife causing him to be late for his own appointment. By the way, does your wife come home late all of the time or was it just that one day out of that one week?

5. Marriage is not meant to be a leash or chains to restrict movement. She is married to you does not mean you are then installed as a monitoring spirit over her. Yes, it would be unfair for her not to show up back home on time but she is an adult and you shouldn't have to treat her as if she is not that. Neither should she treat you in a similar manner. Imagine for a minute that you were rather an extrovert and had no problem with the outdoors and people, do you think you would equally enjoy it if your wife nagged you every time you came home later than she expected? Two as a couple have to arrive at what is fair and what is ridiculous in your situation. Your OP is, however, a record of you essentially monitoring your partner. E remain make you send a drone to track her every movement. .

OP, 10 years is a long long time to hold on to this unresolved issue of yours yet remain in a relationship with the same person. You dey UK, there is help for these sort of things. You need to work on yourself and then on your marriage so you don't get all this worked up whenever your wife is late or fails to meet deadlines. That is why I suggested you go deal with what looks a lot like control issues there in you. Afterward, you can maybe consider if it is healthy for you to remain married to a woman who you admit you don't trust. You can both visit a marriage counselor to discuss the issue too.

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

Honestly, given the situation and the location, kindly seek a counselor. maybe, a lawyer secretly as well.

twang414:
In as much as I wanted to quote each and every post I would have loved to respond to, I feel I should just summarize my point here real quick. Yes we have had issues which obviously led to me knowing she cheated on me, but u know women u cant catch them red handed unless you are lucky, That aside though cos I have gba kamun that whatever she wants to do she can do, I am busy trying to work my ass out to sort bills, but one thing you all need to understand that am surprised is not being pointed out is if equality is the main thing in this country, how can a man paying almost 80% of the bills is being treated un-equal? What happened 3 days ago wasnt me trying to track her or whatever, she had left the house since 9am, promised to be back by 3pm, and I had an appointment with someone for 4pm, and u cant leave kids at home here if u are caught, kids will be taken from you. So my major reason for the call was to inquire as to how close she was getting even though the time she was suppose to be home had elapsed. Na her hustle she find go, na my own hustle me sef dey find go knowing fully well i have even more to spend, am i suppose to be put under that kind of situation?

I really do have questions for some people saying am stalking my wife and she should be allowed to live her life. Is that truly what marriage is all about, if you guys that stated that are truly married, is it normal to u that if u call ur wife she dont take ur calls? Does it mean that she can be out there and come back anytime she wants without a legit explanation when we both have responsibility to take and tend to the needs and attention of the kids. I am really lost here.

Hmm! You shouldn't have taken your wife to the UK with such unresolved issuues.
If you guys divorce, i don't know what will become of your finances and seeing your kids.
Please don't get into any brawl with her, also seceretly get a lawyer to find out exit options
That pose minimal risks to your finances and kids.

If you can't get around the divorce , just manage with her. It's always best to leave women in Nigeria here, if they LovePeddler around, that's their business.

twang414:
been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more. We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.
To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt. So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off. I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

You knew about the unresolved trust issues in Nigeria, yet you move with her to the UK. What were you thinking? That she would magically change on getting to the UK? The truth is that you have compounded your problem and your wife's trust issues would more complex and frustrating to you. You are in a clime that easily throws men under the bus and where women hardly do wrong.

mrblessed:
You knew about the unresolved trust issues in Nigeria, yet you move with her to the UK. What were you thinking? That she would magically change on getting to the UK? The truth is that you have compounded your problem and your wife's trust issues would more complex and frustrating to you. You are in a clime that easily throws men under the bus and where women hardly do wrong.

I was about to say this.

This forum would have saved him if he had been a frequent user.

twang414:
been with my wife for 11 years, and throughout this period we have always had trust issues. The trust issues emanate mostly from her. Issues like not being accountable, not being transparent and disloyalty at its core. Eg, claiming shes at location B, whereas shes at location A, like calling her and not picking, but will pick other number calls and much more. We have communicated in ways to make things better, she would promise to make things better but will at the end of the day backslide. further issues deepened, I got tired and couldn't tolerate more of it, so I repeatedly asked for a separation, but yet she disagrees. One of the major that happened now is here in UK, as we relocated last year Sep. She had met a new lady friend at a party, apparently they got to know more of each other after the lady forgot her kids bag at the location so my wife was asked to take it that she will come over to ours to pick it up since we live close to each other.
To cut long story short, the woman is into beauty products marketing, she involved my madam in the hustle and they seem to pair along well, invites her to events held in hotels and all that. The one they went for 3 days ago, after the event, she called me that she was done, didnt want to take uber prolly cos it was expensive, so she said the lady claimed she will drop her off. An hour later she called she was on her way that the ladies husband have come to pick them up, 40mins later she said there was traffic at woolich that it might take time b4 she gets back. Because of the trust issues we always have and haven't been sorted, I checked her lcoation via her findmyiphone and lo and behold they were at the womans house. I waited at least 15mins to see if maybe it was the traffic, but it wasnt, because her movement was at a complete halt. So I called her, she didnt pick, gave her another 3 missed calls she didnt pick, so i called my daughters phone that was with her, she then picked saying that she was on a zoom meeting with some clients thats why she couldnt pick, but that shes in the car still heading home,though i could hear TV sound, so i was like babe, it dont sound like ur in the car, she was like the ladys husbands car is a Porsche car, you can hear any sound, so i said i was going to call her on video call, I called she didnt pick, she then called me back on video while showing she was in the car and it was at that time her movement on the map started showing she was moving, this might be too much to be doing, but it just seem glaringly obvious that there is something she is hiding, but the most painful part was that she now handed the phone to her friend to defend her that she was truly in the car bla bla bla, i had to cut the call off. I felt so embarrassed and felt maybe I would not have told her that she wasnt in a car, or that she would have handled the situation better by not handing over the phone to her friend to talk to me. Do you guys really think trust issues that havent been resolved over the last 10 years can still be worked out/

you are deep trouble, especially after moving here to UK, UK or western world gives women confidence, i.e there are jobs equally for both women and men, usually men from africa we get stuck looking for the type of jobs that we used to do back home while women grab every opportunity to learn knew skills and confidently raise up financially and thinking etc

Eventually men end up saying, the western world has no many rights for women etc but the main two issues are finance and laws, women being financially independent therefore man not able to control women with money, laws, here you abide by the law, you hit your woman you face jail, back home you go to report your hubby to the police the police becames a marriage councilar, here she responds, you are put in cells it goes to court u get fined or jail and it doesnt end their it will also affect the type of jobs u might get and ven the renewal of your visa

My advise to you get to know people who have been here for long ask them how to keep your head down avoiding to be a victim of laws of the land being used against you. Otherwise it will you in jail while she is enjoying her life

Am not saying the wife is rigjt but she might be also be being mislead by her friends or her just not being able to control self in the new world

Yes trust issues can be addressed but i think you need a 3rd party who is able to make you see both your trust issues from back home and make you see how it will damage your marriage while you are here,