jamesversion:


Even your wife and kids?

Yep.

Exmilitant:
Yep.

Incredible!!!

BigIyanga:


Preach to King Charles, Trump, Rupert Mudoch etc

These are Super rich guys..... When they are alive they can try organize their FAMILIES such that neither 9f the 2 needs to see each other to discuss anything on properties. But, don't say because u are this rich u now scatter yourself and cause some problems( of any form) then run go die

jamesversion:


Incredible!!!

yeah. To sail through life's storm one has to be detached.

poshestmina:
It depends.

I have heard about this type of Incidences before and they happened to my parent's friends ( trust Military men and their transferring joysticks).

One even sang "it is well,with my soul " on his deathbed 😅, burial day , another wife showed up with two boys(carbon copies of the late man) 😅😅😅😅. Unfortunately , the land belongs to the wife ,while the husband built the house ...them drag case tire and the Wife won!!

Second one was my mum's closest friend's husband ...Baba was playing away 😅😅😅,the wife knew and didn't let him know . She was busy building her school and a 14 self contained house till he got really sick after retirement and died .

My mum said immediately they kept the corpse in the morgue ,the woman and her daughter went straight to a salon to make hair etc to look good for the sympathizers 😅😅.

I don't trust my dad at allll but I hope the 'outside ' kids are grown and doing well for themselves ,so we connect once in a while ...If the secret kids are still young ,I have NO business whatsoever with them ,they should hold their mother and father and No ,they will never be a part of the family!

Custom/police/Army/Immigration officers ,I greet una!!!

That's women for. Very mean, wicked and hateful at heart. They never forgive or move one. It's all battle to death.

Every man here has been saying they will welcome the family, this person will only give them face if they are adult and doing better than her so that she can benefit from them.

Women, so soft and gentle on the surface, but so wicked, unforgiving and mean at heart.

abobote:
Yes, I will. As a man I understand it is

This secret family is very easy to start, if you don't zip up as a married man.

Even as a married man, I remembered how one Ghanian side chek is begging me to have a child for me

One dey beg me for baby boy right, I just dey look am with corner eye

pocohantas:


Most times it gets to this. I know someone else whose father had another family. His parents separated and the mum was long gone before she heard she had a co-wife all along. The mum went on to marry a rich polygamous man and had 3 kids for that one. His father had 4 from the other woman. He is alone in the middle.

He is currently training the first son of his father's other woman, though he told me they don't talk. Just send money and the guy replies with thank you. The matter dey always confuse the guy o. All these ones running mouth na because them never experience am.

It is always better to have 2 kids for same man. If not, if the marriage didn't work, that singular child will be a loner for life. It's not a nice experience

Exmilitant:
I wouldn't feel bad learning about my dad's other family.

i am not emotionally attached to anyone or anything.
i was born that way.

Then you will live life longer be that ns
One of life's secret revealed.

I think a secret family makes the main one feel mocked and abandoned. Also, it is wrong for a woman to push herself into where a union has already occurred. Because that means she seeks to bear children that will drag property and importance with the other wife's children.

Anyway, if there is another family, everyone should be acquainted as soon as possible. Dad should join everyone up and attend to whatever chaos may result from it, while he is still alive. It is cowardly to hide behind his family which will probably intimidate the first wife and her offspring, which husband's families normally like to do.

Come out and handle the two families as a man. And there is nothing I as the child can do, speaking sincerely. Nothing but to accept the other family even if I feel my mother was betrayed. After all, the kids are my blood.

purples25:
I think a secret family makes the main one feel mocked and abandoned. Also, it is wrong for a woman to push herself into where a union has already occurred. Because that means she seeks to bear children that will drag property and importance with the other wife's children.

Anyway, if there is another family, everyone should be acquainted as soon as possible. Dad should join everyone up and attend to whatever chaos may result from it, while he is still alive. It is cowardly to hide behind his family which will probably intimidate the first wife and her offspring, which husband's families normally like to do.

Come out and handle the two families as a man. And there is nothing I as the child can do, speaking sincerely. Nothing but to accept the other family even if I feel my mother was betrayed. After all, the kids are my blood.

@bolded - there's love in sharing.

Happend to my cousin..
Their Dad father two kids from another woman...
But he told his children first before their mother got to know years later....
My cousin and her papa...na 5 n 6..
She kept that secret n never told her mum as long as they were...
The other males got to know much more later ..
Their mum was the Last to know..
Well it's was hurting but wetin she wan do..
Her kids are all graduate..
Las Las na sienna dem use compensate her that year

I can only accept the innocent kids but the woman competing with my mum....No

mabea:
It is not always easy because it reeks of betrayal.

Betrayal is exactly what it is though. Imagine these are some of the same fathers who are meant to teach their kids to be better humans. All that comes crashing down the moment it is revealed that they didn't practice any of what they preached.

Idaytesj29:


It is always better to have 2 kids for same man. If not, if the marriage didn't work, that singular child will be a loner for life. It's not a nice experience

This is the mistake African women make .... They gladly enter a marriage and later discover that it would never work but will still open their eyes and born all their children for that man( even 2 isnt encouraged).
It is better they give birth to one child or no child and if it isn't working, bundle that child and flee for peace of mind and easier adjustment to life whether married again or not. Divorced men with kids easily adjust than their ex wives, reason why women try to get compensations at least to move ahead

What if you are the secret family

Nothing like secret family... My family is my family and yours is yours. Our father is our father period

sharone21:


This is the mistake African women make .... They gladly enter a marriage and later discover that it would never work but will still open their eyes and born all their children for that man( even 2 isnt encouraged).
It is better they give birth to one child or no child and if it isn't working, bundle that child and flee for peace of mind and easier adjustment to life whether married again or not. Divorced men with kids easily adjust than their ex wives, reason why women try to get compensations at least to move ahead

I agree with your view. Although it's not coming from the angle from which I am viewing from.

I am looking at a single child of a broken marriage or relationship. Both mum and Dad went separate ways to create new families and have several children with new spouses. If care is not taken, that single child of the first failed marriage will be a loner for life. Never really here or there.

But let's assume he or she came as a twin or they were two, he or she will feel more secure in this world knowing fully well that he or she has a direct sister or brother and not half and steps all over the place.

It's gonna make no sense to the father and mother but at old age it will matter cos the single child may feel odd.

Just my view.

poshestmina:
It depends.

I have heard about this type of Incidences before and they happened to my parent's friends ( trust Military men and their transferring joysticks).

One even sang "it is well,with my soul " on his deathbed 😅, burial day , another wife showed up with two boys(carbon copies of the late man) 😅😅😅😅. Unfortunately , the land belongs to the wife ,while the husband built the house ...them drag case tire and the Wife won!!

Second one was my mum's closest friend's husband ...Baba was playing away 😅😅😅,the wife knew and didn't let him know . She was busy building her school and a 14 self contained house till he got really sick after retirement and died .

My mum said immediately they kept the corpse in the morgue ,the woman and her daughter went straight to a salon to make hair etc to look good for the sympathizers 😅😅.

I don't trust my dad at allll but I hope the 'outside ' kids are grown and doing well for themselves ,so we connect once in a while ...If the secret kids are still young ,I have NO business whatsoever with them ,they should hold their mother and father and No ,they will never be a part of the family!

Custom/police/Army/Immigration officers ,I greet una!!!

I have a contrary experience to yours, my dad is also a police officer, but on this issue I can lay my life that he can never do such, said this for the first time in the year 2013 when my house mates in UNI could not vouch for their fathers on this same matter. Couple of months later, a tenant teased my younger sister that my Dad carried babe inside his car and my sister replied immediately that she can put her life on the line that he will never do such I just smiled inside the room and I remembered saying same thing before and we both have never discussed this. But we can't say same thing about his elder brother who had 3wives all living together and years later discovered he had a teenage son outside, he was also a police officer.
An incident happened in 2002, his team were attacked by robbers, they all died except him being the only survivor but with severe injury, phone was not a thing then, when he did not come during his normal time and till many hours after my mum, said something has happened that it was unlike my father, little me then was like wetin dey do this woman, but she was proven right, when his elder brother's wife came in the midnight to break the news to us..

Idaytesj29:


I agree with your view. Although it's not coming from the angle from which I am viewing from.

I am looking at a single child of a broken marriage or relationship. Both mum and Dad went separate ways to create new families and have several children with new spouses. If care is not taken, that single child of the first failed marriage will be a loner for life. Never really here or there.

But let's assume he or she came as a twin or they were two, he or she will feel more secure in this world knowing fully well that he or she has a direct sister or brother and not half and steps all over the place.

It's gonna make no sense to the father and mother but at old age it will matter cos the single child may feel odd.

Just my view.

So true. The painful aspect is most people just bring child/Ren to the world without really thinking through the present and the future of that child.

eepeepook:
Let’s pause talking about waist beads for once.

This is a topic which affects many Nigerians. Funny enough, I’ve never seen it posted here. I know very well some members have experienced it.

How will you cope with discovering your father had a secret family? I can imagine the rage and betrayal I’ll go through from such revelation. Many learned of it after the death of their fathers. Some accept the new family while few reject them completely.

What will you do? Has it happened to you? Do you know anyone who’s faced the situation?

It's unfortunate that they hide them but why hide them?
They're family anyways, as long one wasn't favoured over the other. Let there be peace and harmony

jamesversion:


Incredible!!!

You know the sages frowns at attachment. Wife, children, mother, father, siblings, money, properties. Soft fetters but the hold many men in captivity.

Idaytesj29:


I agree with your view. Although it's not coming from the angle from which I am viewing from.

I am looking at a single child of a broken marriage or relationship. Both mum and Dad went separate ways to create new families and have several children with new spouses. If care is not taken, that single child of the first failed marriage will be a loner for life. Never really here or there.

But let's assume he or she came as a twin or they were two, he or she will feel more secure in this world knowing fully well that he or she has a direct sister or brother and not half and steps all over the place.

It's gonna make no sense to the father and mother but at old age it will matter cos the single child may feel odd.

Just my view.

Normally, I dont follow the usual thinking or action path of people

The more reason the parent should try to fill that vacuum as much as possible especially with any new family the woman creates ( out of deep reasoning and inclusion of this child)... Mind u, the children of same mother ought to be closer than children of same father since she is the mum of all. The mum must step in even if the father isn't present

When the child starts having his own family, we are having a 'clan' of our own.

'Once u born pikin, u must wear trouser especially for a son'.

sharone21:


Normally, I dont follow the usual thinking or action path of people

The more reason the parent should try to fill that vacuum as much as possible especially with any new family the woman creates ( out of deep reasoning and inclusion of this child)... Mind u, the children of same mother ought to be closer than children of same father since she is the mum of all. The mum must step in even if the father isn't present

When the child starts having his own family, we are having a 'clan' of our own.

'Once u born pikin, u must wear trouser, especially for a son'.

That's if the custody is not given to the father, the mother gets to do the trouser-wearing. And if the step Dad does not have the mind to "include" him into his own family despite the fact that his wife wanted that. What do you think will happen?

It's always the best that marriages work, if it does not. You better let that child have a direct sibling, or else it will be a fuxking lonely world for him or her.

cayorday89:

So true. The painful aspect is most people just bring a child/Ren to the world without really thinking through the present and the future of that child.

There was one in my extended family, of blessed memory. Mother had him and left. He was alone throughout. He tried to please people so that he can have that bond and fraternity, if you get what I mean. In the end, he was just getting used to their own needs. He died of an ailment that was not supposed to kill him. His mother didn't even show up and the absent father was just slowpoking around. His death disturbed me for a while. If he had a sister or brother, I don't think he would have died so cheaply like that.

Sibling is golden