Khastro:


This lady or girl maybe keep quiet after making your point.
There have been several intelligent responses even to your comments but your "righteous anger" is all over the place

Also advise that boy that's thinking with his penis to stop typing rubbish. If she collapse now the story will change

slowice:
Talk to him about bringing in your sister or someone you trust.

i don't have any younger sister, or any relative that's available at the moment....my Sis was planning to get someone for me from Jos cos I'm currently based in Abuja

You didn't give the reason he gave. Money? Or he wants you to do housework to death? If it's because of money or some other understandable reasons then maybe you suck it up and do the work and try to rest more often. However, if you can afford it and it's just because he thinks you should work yourself to death then maybe he has a poverty mentality. Then I suggest you dust your own kpali and also head out to work in your career. Even if you go to Prince Charles house today, I'm sure it is people helping him leace his shoes because he has huge battalions of money

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

I'm sorry ur husband is so insensitive. My dear u are really trying. I have a 9months old son and I employed a houseboy and a nanny which I pay 40k and 50k respectively from my salary so as to make my wife concentrate on work and other things...

IyaebeTheGreat:
Still thinking with your penis and believe you are making sense. May your type be far from every woman out there

. Stop replying that guy. He lacks wisdom.

I'm in your show too, I have a daughter 9f 5 years, son of 2 years and will soon put to bed. My husband said no to house help but he helps in doing the little he can and it's the one I can do I'll do at a given time.

Your husband needs to understand and for the fact he's not around helping out gives enough reason for you to get a help or else your husband is selfish.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

We have four and I understand your Pain and stress.
4,2,1,0

All I try to tell my wife is to enjoy motherhood, I try to help though but the truth is a man doesn't have to once he provides your every need at home.

They are your Kids, your blessings, your influence and mentees and its all but few years. Get the best Joy out of the blessings God has given you.

You only go through the stage once.

The stress is worth it on the long run of you really do it well.

Xerona:
he doesnt just want a stranger in his house... a non live-in house help wouldn't do much as i would still be the one to stay up most of the night.

Unfortunately true. I'll suggest you have a heart-to-heart with him. He might have his reasons but it seems selfish, given your position. How about turning to a sibling from either side, someone you particularly vibe with, trust and is hardworking? You presently don't have too many options and I believe this is one option is worth exploring.

IyaebeTheGreat:
Also advise that boy that's thinking with his penis to stop typing rubbish. If she collapse now the story will change

Usually these stories are half sided, someone had suggested a non-live in maid, another suggested the mom can talk with him, and a couple of other comments.
The man won't wish his wife to die or faint, but this is advise for a committed relationship.
Please show restraint, okay.
I have a wife and a kid myself, and you are neither being a good listener, a good audience and way less an advisor

Madam, you can work it out with him, if he can be available to help you out with some of the home duties. I am sure he has his reasons. We are men and we have foresight. We’ve heard crazy stories of what house help do these days, from maltreating the children to sleeping with your husband or wife. Don’t break your home by yourself. The issue with women is that you don’t see threat or any problems coming your way, we see these things and block it unfortunately when the whole wahala start you will still find fault for the men. Let me use myself as an example. I go naked most times when I am home. We have two boys. At times I’m on just boxers. This is how I am. Home is freedom for me. We don’t accommodate visitors and when we do, it’s for some days. Same as my wife, we are that free in our home. I help a lot… because home duties are not gender based. If you think because he said no to this that you married a wrong man, wait until you marry another that will impregnate the house girl and will run back here to tell us another story. Our mothers had 4/5/ even 6 children and still managed the home without house help and they are still living well/ lived long

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

If you can actually share your d'ick then beg him more.
It's a good thing for your husband though but he knows it's will eventually turn to a badtin for you. Good riddance.

Tallesty1:
There must be someone your husband respects and listens to, get him/her involved. You can also talk to your spiritual leader or an elder in the his fam. If he still refuses to allow you get a house help and he doesn't do anything to help ease the stress then stop doing most of the chores. Just do what is convenient for you and leave the rest to spoil.

The worst marriage anyone can give. Two adults in a union must be able to settle issues without third-party involvement.
If they can find common ground on any issue then they are not ready for marriage, those people you run to have not finished sorting their problems but are always already help others.
Immediately you start involving people in your marriage that is the end.

Tallesty1:
There must be someone your husband respects and listens to, get him/her involved. You can also talk to your spiritual leader or an elder in the his fam. If he still refuses to allow you get a house help and he doesn't do anything to help ease the stress then stop doing most of the chores. Just do what is convenient for you and leave the rest to spoil.

Leave spiritual leader out of this.
@OP, what is ur husband's reasons? Also try to ask him if u will employ the help that will be going in the evening.

I used to think that Iyaebe is only foolish in political discussion, I never knew that she is naturally foolish in everything.

Mama baby abeg what's the reason your darling husband is giving for not hiring a house help for you? Find out from him then you guys can talk about it for a proper solution

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

It may be his weakness.

Jashub:
Get a house help and see how easily your husband will replace you. Nonsense

And if she dies from the postpartum stress and lack of sleep, will she not still be replaced? will her children not suffer? Some of you, your hate for women have made you lost every sense of empathy.

Based on medical advice it will be great you guys get a house help, probably one that comes in and assist with cleaning and other chores only.

Tell your husband, the help will have nothing to do with raising the kids, he's fear may stem from issues around corrupting the kids with bad behavior.

You have to be alive and well to raise kids and also be his wife. No man wants to see his wife sick and burdened. Good luck!

Rayban25:


House helps usually come with problems especially in these times you dont know who you're Bringing around your kids so I can understand your husband

But I suggest you plead with him to maybe invite your mother to help you with the kids (NOT YOUR SISTER INCASE YOU HAVE ONE)

Kai, 4 big Stout and 2 plates of catfish for you.
You said it all.

Khastro:

Usually these stories are half sided, someone had suggested a non-live in maid, another suggested the mom can talk with him, and a couple of other comments.
The man won't wish his wife to die or faint, but this is advise for a committed relationship.
Please show restraint, okay.
I have a wife and a kid myself, and you are neither being a good listener, a good audience and way less an advisor

Not in this case. She just put to bed and it is his responsibility to ease her discomfort, more than ever. The only one-sided or non-covered angle here is his reasons for not wanting a maid or help to assist the wife. Other than that, It's as simple as a woman puts to bed, she isn't finding it easy, rarely sleeps and hubby isn't exactly around to help.

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

You won't have strength to do anything else except breastfeeding and knacking abi ? Just dey play

Mrfixiit:
You won't have strength to do anything else except breastfeeding and knacking abi ? Just dey play

ow yes, anything bad in that?

IyaebeTheGreat:
ow yes, anything bad in that?

It depicts laziness

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

See the kind shiit wey de comot from your mouth.

I was in the company of a newly married couple years ago watching a yoruba movie.The movie was about
a housemate sleeping with the oga of the house.The newly married lady started insulting men and saying all manner of things.She can never allow housemaid into her home ,Men are useless and the rest.She too talk that day.This is a woman that is married to one of few remaining guys that have made a vow to God in their youth not to mess up their life and body before marriage.Any time I see her after that day I will just be smiling because na she dey always use her marriage to pray for younger sis in church.Now imagine what the husband will say if she decides she need housemaid?
So my dear sis,you know your husband is not mad neither is he selfish.Did you discuss this topic before your marriage and what did you say that time.. Beg him to allow you employ a maid that will not live with you.

Jashub:
Get a house help and see how easily your husband will replace you. Nonsense

Help me and tell her.

He should help when he is around, you can get help that come around for your major laundry,cooking and cleaning then leave when the work is done, maybe once a week or allow him get someone from his family. The headache is stress induced and you shouldn't be going through that now.. it is well with you!

Mrfixiit:
It depicts laziness

How's that laziness when I'll be working?

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

Still plead with him, you need to be alive to take of your children.. how is feeling when you are not sleep in the night or not have enough rest

infohenry:
The worst marriage anyone can give. Two adults in a union must be able to settle issues without third-party involvement.
If they can find common ground on any issue then they are not ready for marriage, those people you run to have not finished sorting their problems but are always already help others.
Immediately you start involving people in your marriage that is the end.

Some people are naturally stubborn and only a figure they deeply respect can upturn decisions they make. I have seen this way too up close and can confidently tell unmarried folks to flee from anyone of interest who doesn't have people they respect and listen to.

IyaebeTheGreat:
Didn't you read overwork is affecting her and doctor asked her to get a help? Kai una selfish

You can go and get 5 house helpers make dem kukuma marry your hubby. Infact olosho no go even gree you marry self.

Xerona:
I have considered all of the above... the truth is my mom has stroke and it affected her legs she's been taken care of, also I dont hv any family relative that can help ATM

now I know. You are the types that don't relate well with your husband family.