Silentgroper:
what you're going through is nothing compared to your husband is going through, yet like you females usually say .. " he's man, he should bare it...
well you're a woman, bare it..


if you can't , get the househelp if you can afford their salary ..


don't come and add more burden to his neck..he already has 3kids and one baby adult to cater for ...



Abeg, bare it . they're your kids too




Next!!!!

Omo you just spoke my mind.

You’re not working and you’re still looking for help?
Who’s going to pay for the house-help service?

If she was working or have a job, I can understand that.
Na wa o!

sharone21:



Be careful madam when a typical Nigerian man compliments u as a wife material. They want women to die early but are not ready to work as men without dragging women along 50:50 income formula saying men will be overstressed.

My mum worked similarly 8-5:30pm, leaving home almost 6am daily and while she wàs pregnant( we are 6 kids) had 2 or 3 maids at once. This did not stop my dad from doing house chores and compound cleaning.... Dad travels as a rare Professional in his field and mum too travels and may stay up to 1 month leaving my dad with 5 daughters and 2 or 3 females extra. We do ask our mum why she never for once felt agitated leaving my dad alone with 'many women'( lol) and my mum would respond that: your dad is a HONORABLE MAN.....He may have his faults but it is a NO NO for him to have anything to do wrongly with anyoñe under his care. And this man is someone his daughter's will DIE for if need be. I thank God my brother is walking in his footsteps( though big).

Men these days need mentors from elderly men who succeeded in their marriages. I know Pastor Taiwo Odukoya used to run something strictly for men in his Fountain of life church.

Women, marry men u love but he MUST love u MORE so that where he needs to make sacrifices for u, he will do it effortlessly.... Men marry when u are READY for the hassles of marriage...

Let your husband get his own female relative to help u.

Good things are not easy to find and she’s a diamond.
I don’t expect you to be happy for her because a good wife can only recognize a good wife when they see one.
People like you will see her like ‘mumu’.

She deserves every compliments given to her.
If you’re still young and wise, there’s alot of lessons you can learn from her.

Tallesty1:
It's important to remember that even though this man may be wicked and selfish in your opinion, he is still someone's husband and likely the love of her life. He is someone who is respected by his wife and they have committed to spending their lives together.

Regardless of what may be going on in their marriage, insulting him will undoubtedly affect his wife's feelings, so it's important to be mindful of that. Respect him for her please.

This is not just about a disagreement between a boyfriend and girlfriend or two politicians, but rather a married couple who have made a commitment to each other.

That iya wetin na goat nowwww. . .you know know before?

Maybe you are requesting for a male house help and as a contractor who is always traveling he wouldn't allow that. Yell us the truth abeg. I don't think any man would stop a female house help and if you are concerned about your man fvking the female house help get an elderly female house help.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

House Help needed in Ijegun area of Lagos
Comes once a week
WhatsApp Chat ONLY

+234 818 422 3131

Our girls these days are just so lazy. They no longer want to do house shores. That is when they remember we are partner in marriage. Tell them to switch the roles them no go gree.

komzy589:

Omo you just spoke my mind.

You’re not working and you’re still looking for help?
Who’s going to pay for the house-help service?

If she was working or have a job, I can understand that.
Na wa o!

It is well!

I'm really sad doing this, please can anyone help me out my house rent is due and my salary is not able to handle my living and family and now my landlord is about to send me out please in the mercy of God help me in anyway you can. My number +2349037596255. Bank Acess Bank 1491385054 .
God bless you.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

A house help that you would soon turn to punching bag.

Xerona:
note exactly just need help

The next time he's around/back from his travels, ask the Dr to admit you in hospital for social reasons/social admission so you can rest and get investigated further for the headaches.
Let him handle the children by himself for 1 week.
If you're still breast feeding the baby, you can consider stopping breastfeeding from evening time and introducing formula. They tend to get filled up and sleep more at night on formula, and that will allow you some time to also sleep better at night.
Don't take your headaches lightly, especially since your mom has had a stroke

Househelps wey dey bring problem

Hmmmm....

He any of your sisters that can come and stay with you and be schooling at least she will be helping you out in some areas, so that when you over work her that's your sibling not his and to avoid "Brother wife is killing me with work and don't give me time to go to school"

Kindly divorce him . He’s not a good person.
You will find someone better.


Ole daran . Your eyes go clear

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

He's not selfish, he's just being careful after considering ugly experience of other people.

Have u ever employed a witch, thief or a slot as a helper before? Some people have so don't blame him

Well reading this thread after commenting intitally makes me think maybe most Nigerian men sleep with their house helps.

Xerona:
hey I'm not a parasite, I'm a human being. I had a job but I had to quit to look after his kids...

His kids?
They're your kids too

Anyway talk and reason with him on

You needing a bit of help for a while so you won't break down from being stressed due to what the Doctor said...

And also on maybe hiring an older Nanny(to deal with the issue of he not wanting a sisi) on a part-time. She's only needed till your postpartum stress is over or greatly reduced, at least it's not forever (if he has issue of not being comfortable having a long-time househelp).

Just don't get used to being complacent or lazy 'cause she's only there temporarily till you recover.

However if you both are still interested in her services after recovery, she can continue on part-time basis.

Simple

Tallesty1:
There must be someone your husband respects and listens to, get him/her involved. You can also talk to your spiritual leader or an elder in the his fam. If he still refuses to allow you get a house help and he doesn't do anything to help ease the stress then stop doing most of the chores. Just do what is convenient for you and leave the rest to spoil.

Stop having kids. Don't do any chores for him. Let him wash his clothes, go to market and cook.

After this baby,get a family planning done ASAP.. Implant..the one of 5yrs...Minimal or no.side effect..easily reversible too.

And give yourself a break from motherhood and childbirth.

After my second baby,he said no house help..I said case closed...

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

Four will be better

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

I knew you would only have negative things to say about the husband since he is a man. As for your hope of getting two househelps, stop dreaming because with the nasty attitude you have towards men, even the lowest quality of men won't choose you as wife

dickt:

I knew you would only have negative things to say about the husband since he is a man. As for your hope of getting two househelps, stop dreaming because with the nasty attitude you have towards men, even the lowest quality of men won't choose you as wife

komzy589:

Good things are not easy to find and she’s a diamond.
I don’t expect you to be happy for her because a good wife can only recognize a good wife when they see one.
People like you will see her like ‘mumu’.

She deserves every compliments given to her.
If you’re still young and wise, there’s alot of lessons you can learn from her.

We are at 2 DIFFERENT ends of reasoning and backgrounds so I don't expect u to think properly....

Foodqueen:
Have you talk to him about non-live -in.

Maybe he doesn't want a stranger living with his family while he's away.


Check out for good domestic worker recruiters.

Look for one that will resume work in the morning and close in the evening.

Omo notin like *Good* domestic recruiters...Demons in human clothing go even form calm at initial stage.....It takes GRACE to get dat so called Good person ooo...stay woke

Have you tried having a relative, your mother or sisters or even someone from his side come help out? Most men don'tlike outsiders taking care of their children. Again at this time you need to optimize your time do only what is necessary- washing machine vs manual, cook once a week, reduce number of times you clean the house (na person wen dey alive dey live for clean house). Get him involved in looking after the kids when he comes from work then you use the opportunity to sleep, prepare their food before that time.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

gare2510:
Have you tried having a relative, your mother or sisters or even someone from his side come help out? Most men don'tlike outsiders taking care of their children. Again at this time you need to optimize your time do only what is necessary- washing machine vs manual, cook once a week, reduce number of times you clean the house (na person wen dey alive dey live for clean house). Get him involved in looking after the kids when he comes from work then you use the opportunity to sleep, prepare their food before that time.

When i hear ppl say your mother can come and help, or his mum can come and help or relatives etc, etc, They forget that there are some mothers that also have their businesses, and lives too. Have you considered if their mothers are free?. My Mother In-Law hardly stays up to 2 weeks anytime i put to bed becos, she has her business and secondly my father-in-law is bed ridden and she is the only person to care for him, so staying with me 1wk is a huge sacrifrice on her path.
I quiet understand what post partum stress can do to a woman because i am one but dear sis you have to:
Communicate with ur husband on this issue,
Do what you can do, No go over do
If you can foot the bills of the help, good else it complicate that if hubby is not ready to foot the bills
Prayerfully manage your help, be sensitive when you finally get one
Get household appliances that can help reduce stress: Washing machine, blender, toaster etc. There are some things i bought in my kitchen for my own good, and to help me reduce stress, oga fit no know the usefulness but as i woman, i need am.
We usually advice ladies to be financially fit for marriage because there are some things oga will delibrately refuse becos no cash, but if you offer to foot the bill he can change over night. With money there are some stress you can ease on your own.,
Good Luck!!!

IyaebeTheGreat:
He's a selfish husband. Two househelp no go do me sef because I won't have strength for any other thing aside breastfeeding my baby. He's a selfish and wicked husband

We all know you're lazy and entitled that's why two househelp won't be enough for you. My mother gave birth to six children without househelp, and was still doing business till we grew up.



Na only God go help all this indomie generation girls.

achimendy:




We all know you're lazy and entitled that's why two househelp won't be enough for you. My mother gave birth to six children without househelp, and was still doing business till we grew up.



Na only God go help all this indomie generation girls.

Suffery Dy lie, six children with no househelp. What I've learnt about life is that just very few men care about their wife's burden, the rest no send

IyaebeTheGreat:
Suffery Dy lie, six children with no househelp. What I've learnt about life is that just very few men care about their wife's burden, the rest no send

I don't need to argue with you my dear.

gare2510:
Have you tried having a relative, your mother or sisters or even someone from his side come help out? Most men don'tlike outsiders taking care of their children. Again at this time you need to optimize your time do only what is necessary- washing machine vs manual, cook once a week, reduce number of times you clean the house (na person wen dey alive dey live for clean house). Get him involved in looking after the kids when he comes from work then you use the opportunity to sleep, prepare their food before that time.

thank u