I’ve been dating this girl since early last year when I was still serving and she’s really into me. She doesn’t bill me unless I purposely send her something. And we occasionally hangout a lot too.

By mid last year, I brought her home to meet my mum and some of my siblings. My mum likes her so much and she would spend time with me in our house.

I finished my service around September last year, and I started hunting for job. I was taking online classes etc..

So I got a job earlier this year, and the pay isn’t bad. Only my mum knows how much I’m earning and few friends. My girl doesn’t know.

Now, I’m likely to be getting a pay rise this month.

I’m also planning to get married to this girl next year, hopefully, she’s been a good girl even when I was jobless.

I don’t know if it’s okay to let her know my salary range. Although I’d not be telling her specifically the amount.

Is this a good idea?

Don't start what you can't finish.....

Biko let her know your salary so that she can know if the future is bright for her or not.

Is not as if you’re earning millions of naira monthly . I’m absolutely sure you’re not even earning common 100k monthly. Biko don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty!!

Nobody wants to settle for less my dear!!

Lol. Intoxication of love. Tell her not. Have you ever heard of telling half truts to protect people?

Marriage shouldn't be the first man,first of all save and invest some money.

U started work this year and u have started talking about marriage.

I wish u the best but remember,marriage and family have its own financial implications and can make one depressed if u don't plan well.

Better gather yourself well and don't marry a woman who has nothing doing.

All the best.

It is not necessary for me.
I don't know my man's earnings,
I have never bothered to ask. I will never ask.
I have never even asked a man that question. Lol!

The closest I got to knowing how much he has stacked was when he sent me one of his bank statements for a trip we had planned. I saw the numbers and understood why men hide their earnings. If I were someone into flashy life, i would probably ask for a GLE the next day, but that one is not my issue. What I need is for a man to be handson to recurring expenses and things that make my life easier. If you miss this with me, all your money talk becomes noise.

---

The most important thing to me (financially) is that a man PROVIDES, INVESTS AND SAVES.

Some men would tell you their earnings, both current and future, but hungry fit wan kill you. You go know say some money get audio, but no visuals. You go dey hear am, but e no go show for screen or your body.

He provides...I RESPECT and APPRECIATE that.
He tells me of planned investments and expenditure. He doesn't tell me of the money he sends to his side. That is none of my business too. Highest he would say his family needs this or that and if he needs a plug, I guide him.

Life with him is easy. I can't complicate it with bogus expectations or drama.

The more men talk,
The less they do.

Focus on actions. That is what would make a woman respect and remember you.

pocohantas:
It is not necessary.
I don't know my man's earnings,
I have never bothered to ask. I will never ask.

The closest I got to knowing how much he has stacked was when he sent me one of his bank statements for a trip we had planned. I saw the numbers and understood why men hide their earnings. If I were someone into flashy life, i would probably ask for a GLE the next day.

The most important thing to me is that a man PROVIDES, INVESTS AND SAVES.

Some men would tell you their earnings, both current and future, but hungry fit wan kill you. You go know say some money get audio, but no visuals. You go dey hear am, but e no go show for screen or your body.

He provides and I RESPECT and APPRECIATE that.
He tells me of planned investments and expenditure. He doesn't tell me of the money he sends to his side. That is none of my business too. Highest he would say his fam needs this or that and if he needs a plug, I guide him.

Life with him is easy. I can't complicate it with bogus expectations.

The more men talk,
The less they do.

Focus on actions. That is what would make a woman respect and remember you.

This is great.

Thanks

ibechris:
Marriage shouldn't be the first man,first of all save and invest some money.

U started work this year and u have started talking about marriage.

I finished schooling close to 30.

Two of my younger siblings are are married. The pressure to do something is mounting on me.

Even if it’s not now or next year. I need to start thinking bout it from now.

I wish u the best but remember,marriage and family have its own financial implications and can make one depressed if u don't plan well.

Better gather yourself well and don't marry a woman who has nothing doing.

All the best.

Thanks

Jennyclay:
Biko let her know your salary so that she can know if the future is bright for her or not.

Is not as if you’re earning millions of naira monthly . I’m absolutely sure you’re not even earning common 100k monthly. Biko don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty!!

Way above your imagination.

Persephone1:
It all depends on how you want to run your home. If you want a home where you both will contribute to managing the home then you have to let her know the range, not the exact amount. If you are good to run home expenses alone, then you may choose not to.

I'd advise couples to let each other know their financial capability to an extent. This helps in planning finances and family welfare. Plus it serves as a pointer if any of the couple picks up an unhealthy habit along the line.

You may not tell her the exact amount but range.

Thanks

@mynd44 Nlfpmod

I need more suggestion.

babaYIBO:
I’ve been dating this girl since early last year when I was still serving and she’s really into me. She doesn’t bill me unless I purposely send her something. And we occasionally hangout a lot too.

By mid last year, I brought her home to meet my mum and some of my siblings. My mum likes her so much and she would spend time with me in our house.

I finished my service around September last year, and I started hunting for job. I was taking online classes etc..

So I got a job earlier this year, and the pay isn’t bad. Only my mum knows how much I’m earning and few friends. My girl doesn’t know.

Now, I’m likely to be getting a pay rise this month.

I’m also planning to get married to this girl next year, hopefully, she’s been a good girl even when I was jobless.

I don’t know if it’s okay to let her know my salary range. Although I’d not be telling her specifically the amount.

Is this a good idea?

Never make that mistake man.

There are things you don't tell a woman. Ask yourself; How does her knowing your net worth or gross worth improve your relationship with her?

Sadly it don't, instead it will only stir up her greed and entitlement.

Things you keep secret from your woman

*Your finances ( how much you make)
*Your dark past
*Your insecurities
*The extent to which you love her.


Trust me, when you reveal the above; you would pay darely for it, because those are the information they need to manipulate you.

Depends on the kind of home you want to run financially.

We run 100% joint account so we both know everything financial about ourselves.

Divide your salary into 3 and tell her that.
The average Nigerian woman is a thief waiting to reap where she did not sow.

pocohantas:
What I need is for a man to be handson to recurring expenses and things that make my life easier. If you miss this with me, all your money talk becomes noise.

This is an example of a Nigerian Woman thief.

pocohantas:
It is not necessary.
I don't know my man's earnings,
I

Some men would tell you their earnings, both current and future, but hungry fit wan kill you. You go know say some money get audio, but no visuals. You go dey hear am, but e no go show for screen or your body.



The more men talk,
The less they do.

Focus on actions. That is what would make a woman respect and remember you.

Money dey get audio but no visuals? 🤣

Una no go kee persin for Nairaland walahi

So na audio-visual the money suppose be

Not necessary.

Especially if you’re meeting up with your responsibilities, there’s no need letting her know how much you earn.

A305:
Never make that mistake man.

There are things you don't tell a woman. Ask yourself; How does her knowing your net worth or gross worth improve your relationship with her?

Sadly it don't, instead it will only stir up her greed and entitlement.

Things you keep secret from your woman

*Your finances ( how much you make)
*Your dark past
*Your insecurities
*The extent to which you love her.


Trust me, when you reveal the above; you would pay darely for it, because those are the information they need to manipulate you.

Hmm. Thanks a lot for this advice.

I’m taking good notes..

pocohantas:
It is not necessary.

Even in marriage?
If I'm gonna get married, I feel it's wise for both partners to be intentional about being transparent regarding their earned finances.
Especially for their kids.
So that, God forbid, something happens to one or both of them, the children don't suffer.

Then again, I don't know how it works in Nigeria, but maybe putting up a will, legally, mitigates the risks...

I'd say no,
Breeds disrespect,entitlement,see finish,jealousy and unhealthy competition for some.

Why do you even feel the need to let your girlfriend/fiancee know how much you earn? I get that one can be carried away by love, but never lose yourself in the process.

You shouldn't even have told your mum.
Again, why do you feel the need to give out certain information about yourself that should be kept private?
What then about yourself do you keep to yourself?
Allow yourself some privacy.
Learn to be your own person.

A305:
Never make that mistake man.

There are things you don't tell a woman. Ask yourself; How does her knowing your net worth or gross worth improve your relationship with her?

Sadly it don't, instead it will only stir up her greed and entitlement.

Things you keep secret from your woman

*Your finances ( how much you make)
*Your dark past
*Your insecurities
*The extent to which you love her.


Trust me, when you reveal the above; you would pay darely for it, because those are the information they need to manipulate you.

All salute to our Personality psychologist! 😎😆

babaYIBO:

I don’t know if it’s okay to let her know my salary range. Although I’d not be telling her specifically the amount.

Is this a good idea?

It depends on the lady, from observation, you will know someone that will be entitled to your money, so you should know by now.

Information about finance is not shared because of love or family, It is by who is not entitled.

Dey wait for who go come save you from poverty.

Jennyclay:
Biko let her know your salary so that she can know if the future is bright for her or not.

Is not as if you’re earning millions of naira monthly . I’m absolutely sure you’re not even earning common 100k monthly. Biko don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty!!

Jennyclay:
Biko let her know your salary so that she can know if the future is bright for her or not.

Is not as if you’re earning millions of naira monthly . I’m absolutely sure you’re not even earning common 100k monthly. Biko don’t come and put someone’s daughter in abject poverty!!

I wonder who are the mumu liking this dumboh post

It depends on her personality. But as a general rule, it's better you keep it away from her. It's not the reason she is dating you.

Funny enough its only jobless ladies that are mindful of what a guy earns.

pocohantas:


Some men would tell you their earnings, both current and future, but hungry fit wan kill you. You go know say some money get audio, but no visuals. You go dey hear am, but e no go show for screen or your body.

One of my neighbours is a successful trader. I am told he has multiple warehouses in alaba. The man is probably in his late 50s. He got married a few years back. To one young chemistry graduate. She became housewife straight. It was just last year the man finally got her a car. 2003 corolla. Before that the woman dey hop on okada and keke napep with the pikins.

One time he had a fire incident with a cooker in his house. If you see the horrible looking cooker they were using ehn. My skin was actually crawling looking at it. So yep, I know where you are coming from.

It depends on the factors around you. That said, on forerun, just strive to tailor the kind of financial system to run in your union based on your kind of personality and doings, the personality of your partner, and the kind of union you would love to have in general - just create your own style and encrypt it. Provided that you'll be in the union with a gritty woman and structurally centered everything about the union primarily on fairness and love in general, it'll flourish.

Meanwhile, avoid the pitfall of envying anyone/copying verbatim any suggestion you see on a forum like this, maybe because it sounds sweet, accumulated many likes, or otherwise. This advice isn't just for you alone, though. As a passive seasoned dissector, a long-standing one for that matter on a forum like this, I can tell you without equivocation that 90% of the time, whatever most people say they do and/or claim to possess is just a sham. The family and romance sections of this forum harbor, by ratio, the highest number of liars, pretenders, and hypocrites you can find anywhere on the surface of the earth.

So, in summary, be cautious of anyone, or people, that have a penchant for self-promotion.

Kaycee54321:


Even in marriage?
If I'm gonna get married, I feel it's wise for both partners to be intentional about being transparent regarding their earned finances.
Especially for their kids.
So that, God forbid, something happens to one or both of them, the children don't suffer.

Then again, I don't know how it works in Nigeria, but maybe putting up a will, legally, mitigates the risks...

Sure, it is wise to tell/ask. I said I do not ask. I don't see how asking would save my kids in event of death, because the wife and kids are the first beneficiaries to a man's account in cases of death. Nigerian women do not know this and many do not have the strength to drag it because legal cases could be financially and emotionally draining.

Abroad where couples do everything together, I will ask. I guess I don't need to ask sef, those things are open to one's partner. But here in Nigeria that I am expected to pound akpu and tend to the home, he should just keep being responsible and paying the bills like a lord and saviour he is.

GloriousGbola:


One of my neighbours is a successful trader. I am told he has multiple warehouses in alaba. The man is probably in his late 50s. He got married a few years back. To one young chemistry graduate. She became housewife straight. It was just last year the man finally got her a car. 2003 corolla. Before that the woman dey hop on okada and keke napep with the pikins.

One time he had a fire incident with a cooker in his house. If you see the horrible looking cooker they were using ehn. My skin was actually crawling looking at it. So yep, I know where you are coming from.

Trader plus Chemistry housewife graduate. That combination is familiar, but I won't mention the people wey sabi am. It is also not surprising that he got her a 2003 Corolla after years. Naso them dey do. I am sure he promised her Velar, but na Corolla she see last last. Poor woman can't even complain, else she gets slammed with the materialistic tag.

I think it's wise to know each other salary especially in marriage. It seems like the less secrets the better, and so that each couple would be accountable for their expenditure

Intentionally keeping your salary a secret from your fiancé/spouse is something I've only come across in Nigerian spaces and maybe it's just a cultural thing I will never understand and that's fine, but I find it weird.

The West have more of a credit culture where couples are more likely to be involved in binding financial agreements with legal implications so they're more compelled to be privy to each other's finances. E.g. when getting a loan for a mortgage the lender will calculate how much they're willing to give you based on the household income etc. so of course I need to know what you earn just from a practical point of view. Whereas, in Nigeria things tend to be paid in full?

I guess I understand why it may not be as common in Nigeria but I find it weird when it's intentionally hidden, even if only one person is paying the mortgage lol. If they just didn't ever ask or it just never came up in conversation that's fair, but it's the intentional awkwardness/secrecy that's strange to me

She needs to know how much you earn at this stage of your life. This is to guide you against the consequences of unknown exaggerations and perceived net worth. This woman may have exaggerated your earnings based on your outlook, quality of clothes, phones, and the nature of food you eat.

It is not compulsory to tell her if you're sure and convinced about your ability to meet all her needs. You'll know from the amount she spends on herself, clothings, shoes, hair, etc. But if you aren't there yet, please speak up! Don't live a lie.