So today I had to call my resident pastor to order.

I am a 30yrs old guy and in a relationship with a lovely lady of 25. It's been 6 good years together building and improving ourselves.

I come from a family where nobody mounts pressure on anybody especially on marriage issue. My parents are so liberal that they trust our judgements and allow us to marry from anywhere we find love despite fact that we are igbos.

I and my fiancee have been through different stages of life because she was 19 when we met, I was a dead broke ass graduate then without a job and still going from one interview to the other. I was so broke that my young fiancee then was the one giving me money to go for the interviews (she was running her mom's store then). Aside that she would bring food and sometimes get me clothes. When I say I was broke, I mean totally broke

God did it I secured a job of 60k a month and a year later got a more improved job of 100k. I don't drink and don't spend recklessly, I was able to save and began a POS business which my fiancee 20yrs as at then was running for me in her mom's store while I was working. To Cut long story short, my fiancee is in her 300L now in school while I have ventured into other business and I can say I make about 500k monthly combined.

On reason why I caution my pastor, in church I am one of the youth leaders and a key figure and most of my friends or mate in the ministry are married and my resident pastor took it upon herself to always use me for jokes or call my name from the alter to go and marry.

You'd here bro sososo go and marry and the congregation will laugh, during meeting you will hear word like don't be like bro sososo who wants to become a grandpa bachelor.

Once any member marries you will hear bro sososo we are waiting ooooo.

Like I don't find that funny, she is mounting unnecessary pressure on me which I don't like. Will she be the one to take care of my family?

Sometimes she goes as far as introducing a sister in the church to me.

So today I had enough, called her after service and told her my mind. I know she will feel disappointed but for my mental health I needed to put a stop to that rubbish.

My friends in church are married and to be sincere they look like shadow of themselves.

My fiancee is in school, she was there with me during tough times, she built and grew with me and even in school she is also learning a trade and preparing for life after school. We agreed to marry immediately after she graduates (next year) and so far everything is going as planned

Nice one bro . Dont let any useless pastor out there shame you into that grave called marriage.

And as for settling down, it's better you study your fiancee well before committing to her.

Remember, marriage is the most important financial decision a man can ever make , and to sacrifice it on the alter of peer- pressure or sentiments isn't in your best interest at all .

That's a good one man. I support you, you've done well.

No matter what, don't allow anybody to pressure you into doing what you're not in support of.... Because when e go tear,no body go dey there but na only you go carry your cross by yourself

You did well !




I wonder why they do that rubbish.

I am sure she's never had a one on one chat with you to know how to assist you in your broke days.

They always like planning people's lives for them as if they know your struggles.

Omo some people stupid oo 😓😓

I have already detected a lie in this story.

Lemme observe and you others who will


Was POS popular six years ago?

OP suffery dey lie

It's good that you called him to order. People should be allowed to get married at their own pace

Omoh........senior man,u deserved 2 chilled glass of monkey tail,nah man u be jare..

i lyk ur courage and nt sum people that sees their pastor as all and all,and go jst dey answer yes daddy up and down to any tin pastor tell them.

Na so pastors dey put people for problem.


Who listens to Nigerian pastors anyway?

If I am the one I will just tell her in Church that she is the one that I want to marry or if she can give me her daughter or sister nobody will tell her b4 she will mind her business

yomi007k:
so pastors dey put people for the problem.


Who listens to Nigerian pastors anyway?

It's good to see once in a while like this, a committed religious person that is independent-minded - this assertion is with the hope that you'd have the grit to maintain the same independent-minded stance in an instance where your supposed fiancee isn't the one involved - and kudos for your resolve to stay loyal and committed in general to her (your fiancee) for her shown altruistic interest towards you.

Hashabiah:
Nice one bro . Dont let any useless pastor out there shame you into that grave called marriage.

And as for settling down, it's better you study your fiancee well before committing to her.

Remember, marriage is the most important financial decision a man can ever make , and to sacrifice it on the alter of peer- pressure or sentiments isn't in your best interest at all .

Thanks. My fiancee is a manager to the core, even as a student I sometimes save with her and she is diligent with money. She was the one staying in her mom's shop and also handling my POS stuff before she gained admission and she is very diligent with money.

For 6yrs I have known her and I am too sure of who I have hence I have been waiting for her to be done.

Awon da bi mo she da... she wants u to experience the many woes of marriage on time. lol.

Are you guys staying clean? No sex.. no kisses no touches? If yes

No wahala. but with All UV said,,as beautiful as it is in the eyes of men.. if you doing immoral things with her..God doesn't know u.. you belong to the devil..

Pastors wives are fond of doing that

doggedfighter:
You did well !




I wonder why they do that rubbish.

I am sure she's never had a one on one chat with you to know how to assist you in your broke days.

They always like planning people's lives for them as if they know your struggles.

She has never had a one on one discussion with me except via chat when she invited me for a program.

My relationship has been a private one, like very quiet, we don't post anything on social media. Only close friends and both families and neighbors know we are dating and the period we have been together.

She has attended my church several occasions before she gained admission but they thought she was just one of those invitees I try to convert to the church.

I am really a busy person and my routine is always from work to house and I sleep, Sunday after service and leaders meeting I just go straight home so many of them think I am single and not interested in a relationship.

For the resident pastor, on two occasions she has asked me on whatsapp and have told her I am in a long relationship but I don't know why she keeps making that joke or think it's not a serious relationship

6 years relationships funny

You have done well, no one should be pressured directly or indirectly to get married. But, 6 years is too long in to court someone IMO; I get that you guys were very young when you started but it's too long!

Way to go.

Some pastors don't have boundaries when it comes to some private issues which I believe is wrong. I once heard a pastor, who during marriage counselling was asking a groom-to-be the kind of apartment he stays and if he had a suit for his wedding so that they will know whether to go and rent for him or borrow elsewhere . It looked very insulting the way the pastor\counsellor went about the issue, can't somebody marry without suit? Was the man naked during the marriage counselling?. Some private issues shouldn't be delved into without the person's consent whether you are a pastor or not

Don't let anyone stress you... Make more money before you marry, I am also 31 years old... My pastor even advised me to marry before building house, I did not argue with him... He was surprised the day I called him to come and pray for my new foundation and I will soon park inside in few months..
Despite having more than enough to feed any woman but I will still invest in other untapped business opportunities here before I marry maybe at age of 33.
Marriage is very sweet when there is resources.. Any marriage conceived with poverty will never be very romantic

rainz:
6 years relationships funny

Yes, she was 19 when it started, I needed to wait.

Kiira:
You have done well, no one should be pressured directly or indirectly to get married. But, 6 years is too long in to court someone IMO; I get that you guys were very young when you started but it's too long!

She was 19 When we started and I was 24yrs so we needed to go through the process.

I went for a much younger partner because I didn't want any partner to mount marriage pressure on me. After service life was frustrating, I was dead broke and needed time to fix my life and there was no way I could have just jumped into marriage.

The Years and timing gave me the needed space to fix my life and plan through. While she is there growing, I am going through the process and setting the ground running.

OP, he wants you to Marry so that you can Birth kids
And Multiply his Ministry. 🤨🙂

That's how some Companies pressurizes their Single Staff with Marriage.

Sonnobax15:

No matter what, don't allow anybody to pressure you into doing what you're not in support of.... Because when e go tear,no body go dey there but na only you go carry your cross by yourself

this is one thing I have learnt in life

The same yahoo pastors nacking people's wives naija men wise up dis bastards have brainwashed our women no wonder dey respect them more than their husbands. Since i para for my mama in front of her pastor, the guy no near me again. Even vision e no see again. These guys are just motivational speakers and false hope givers.

Hashabiah:
Nice one bro . Dont let any useless pastor out there shame you into that grave called marriage.

And as for settling down, it's better you study your fiancee well before committing to her.

Remember, marriage is the most important financial decision a man can ever make , and to sacrifice it on the alter of peer- pressure or sentiments isn't in your best interest at all .

What study again? So u wanna tell me that someone that was with him in tough times can all of a sudden bcom bad when it's time for him to reward her loyalty? Let's always try nd put ourselves nd our sisters in some of these girls' shoes b4 we give advice abeg

xpressionx:
I have already dictated a lie in this story.

Lemme observe and you others who will

sharp guy, u quick know

Good one I appreciate your courage to fight the pressure from your pastor, they'll say it as if marriage is the ticket to the Kingdom of God.

Issokay!!!