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Letsmeet:
Please everyone, what's your opinion on this?
Is it wise to date a young lady from a divorced home?
If She is very nice, quiet, respectful, the most understanding person in the world, doesn't even quarrel. Has a good job and many other good qualities.
But if her parents are divorced, and live in the same area, and she lives with both of them.
What is the likelihood of her divorcing in future? Anyone with similar experiences please?

Be a good husband to her, and divorce will not be an issue.

LOLLLL, some guys are very funny. There are lots of unbroken homes with severely broken and unloved children. It's because of this your hesitation that most women stay in unhealthy marriages, which later affect their children. Why not ask questions on how you can be a better husband to this girl that is a victim of a divorced home. Marrying a lady from a seemingly unbroken home does not guarantee happiness, You guys might divorce in future and your beloved daughters will also come under this same scrutiny. Try to be a caring husband and divorce will not be an issue.

Newyorkitis:




I usually thought along this line until recently a married woman told me something very insightful and which convinced me view it in another light:

She said: No woman enters a marriage to get divorced, however they get divorced due to the advice they get from bad married/dovoreced/ single mothers who they keep and listen to as friends.

Let me give a scenario: a married woman is invited by her divorced friend/ a single mother that she should come to get together which will end at night. The married woman says that she must inform her husband to grant her permission.

The divorced/ single mum will likely reply this way: you are trying oh, me I can't take orders from any man to enjoy myself when I stressed out (which means the married friend is living under bondage.
Before you know it, the married friend starts rethinking if it's a good thing to seek permission before going out.
This repeatedly done, gives.room for lack of submission and consequently, divorce.
This is just one case out of many.

A man must know the friends his wife keeps; this is very important.

That's it

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AlphaHakimi:


Divorce is a very bad thing to occur in a family. Divorce has both physical and mental effects on the children. You have to understand that the motive for Divorce is different between Man and woman.

For instance, if the girls mother initiated the divorce, she has automatically shown her female children that once the marriage is uncomfortable, there is a way out. Furthermore, she has unintentionally shown her male children that women do not marry for love, rather marriage is transactional for women. It means that the day you stop "being a man" irrespective of the reason (poor health, job loss, bad business transaction etc) your wife will Divorce you.

Men hardly initiate Divorce. Women always think that there is something perfect outside their matrimonial home.
Women from divorced families no matter how good their qualities are, know only two things;
1) SURVIVAL
2) DIVORCE IS THE WAY OUT FROM MARITAL PROBLEMS.

Please in all you do, avoid such girls.

N/B : The only reason I support Divorce is in the case of domestic violence. No union is worth your life.

Why do I feel you just contradicted yourself. Is domestic violence the only act that threatens ones life in a marriage, what about killer STI's / STD'S ?. So from what you are saying, men can marry children who's parents divorced due to domestic violence?

gidjah:
hahahaha why would you say so ?? I speak from ... One witn open eyes ,(if you get that ).I know we all are Africans mo be oyibo.oyibo man scientificalizes everything but he him sef knows that there's another kinda world out there more real than this our transcient. Been in the ENGINEERING FIELD opened my eyes bro,make we just keep quiet. @tumababa it's been long o , spoke with you last should be 8 years ago under Jonathan and early Buhari for phone matters then.Gadgets and accessories including locking and unlocking were still very cheap then .How's work sir ?

Lol. Not into iphone wahala anymore. But it was quite interesting while it lasted. Still a loyal iphone customer though

ehay:
LOLLLL, some guys are very funny. There are lots of unbroken homes with severely broken and unloved children. It's because of this your hesitation that most women stay in unhealthy marriages, which later affect their children. Why not ask questions on how you can be a better husband to this girl that is a victim of a divorced home. Marrying a lady from a seemingly unbroken home does not guarantee happiness, You guys might divorce in future and your beloved daughters will also come under this same scrutiny. Try to be a caring husband and divorce will not be an issue.

Thanks for this. I was becoming worried about the myopic view of certain people.
Also, broken homes do not know male and female children. Anyone can be from a broken home, but you need to check their values and principles as individuals.

tumababa:


Lol. Not into iphone wahala anymore. But it was quite interesting while it lasted. Sepetill a loyal iphasone customer though

hmmm we thank God.it was by A great experience too with me. Left that line of biz too.it can be very risky and troubling at times

gidjah:
.no one ever said such is coded in human genes oga .Oyibo man that lectured you into this scientific theories also knows there a celestial part to this things. He knows that pretty well but will come out to hide it from you who is a practitioner so as feed on you and lord it over you. Go and check your family is there are no patterns .,.come up here and be straight .I rest my case

Celestial beings have nothing to do with human actions, humans are pathetically known for shifting blames.

There's no patterns in my family, everyone is born unique with his or her destiny.

If there's ever any pattern in human family trees, it should be Biological.

Don't go seeking for spiritual solutions where you're supposed to seek for physical or psychological one.

Worriedwife:
It looks like kids 4rm divorced homes are only females. What of the male kids from divorced homes,,should they be avoided for marriage?

I wonder o....females marry males from divorce homes but this one want to ask the world b4 marrying the lady...tchew

Me growing up my papa no do my mama well,always getting drunk and hitting her, the woman suffered but she remained with him, I'm married, my sisters are married, the only reason I'm working my ass off, making and saving like mad is so the very day my husband touches me, omo I go Japa, am i from a divorced home? No...but i refuse to suffer like my mama abeg.so its not a matter of coming from divorced home, do your wife well, always pray, the devil is roaming around looking for families to destroy

Letsmeet:
Please everyone, what's your opinion on this?
Is it wise to date a young lady from a divorced home?
If She is very nice, quiet, respectful, the most understanding person in the world, doesn't even quarrel. Has a good job and many other good qualities.
But if her parents are divorced, and live in the same area, and she lives with both of them.
What is the likelihood of her divorcing in future? Anyone with similar experiences please?

More prone to be divorced than others.

Children from divorce home are likely to do so. Some culture help to cement divorce. Some will tell you that marriage is not by Force and ready to leave marriage anytime despite years of marriage. It is a spiritual things

Lexusgs430:



Is this obsession with prayers, that puts people in trouble........ Did oyakhilome, not put his marriage before this fallacy, called prayers.........

Are you God's PA to know this?

eroticecstasy:


Are you God's PA to know this?

No PA exists.......

Fuckyoumod:
■ aunty, brother, sister.... The topic has nothing to do with men running away from toxic and disrespectful wives for their own safety oooh.... I know one that has been running for his life for over 5 years now. Read the topic again.... It's about women from divorced homes and the likelihood of divorcing after marriage. This is the fear of many. I feel there is a valid point to it, especially for the girl child who must be taught who a true man really is by her father. Her father is the first man in her life. Her father is saddled with the responsibilities of showing and letting her know who is a MAN and how to treat her husband as a man rather than a woman.

Let me get this part straight! So, in your mind, a girl raised by a father who physically and emotionally abuses her, and her mother, is better as a wife, than a girl whose mother abandoned her emotionally abusive husband to raise her daughter alone? The former has a better understanding of what a true man is than the latter.

Offpoint1:

Celestial beings have nothing to do with human actions, humans are pathetically known for shifting blames.

There's no patterns in my family, everyone is born unique with his or her check your self , you will be ever lites .

If there's ever any pattern in human family trees, it should be Biological.

Don't go seeking for spiritual solutions where you're supposed to seek for physical or psychological one.

men weren't even created to be psychological oga, you will forever be listed and dwarfed if all you have to do for your self is psychology and physical . Men that rule this earth don't do any of this your two factors. I rest my case

Lexusgs430:



Is this obsession with prayers, that puts people in trouble........ Did oyakhilome, not put his marriage before this fallacy, called prayers.........

Makes me extremely dizzy reading such.
When we are afraid and too lazy to look for causes and solutions,we hand it over to God and go our merry ways.
Wonder why Nigeria is where it is today?

Kobojunkie:
Let me get this part straight! So, in your mind, a girl raised by a father who physically and emotionally abuses her, and her mother, is better as a wife, than a girl whose mother abandoned her emotionally abusive husband to raise her daughter alone? The former has a better understanding of what a true man is than the latter.

you didn't read my quote well. Read again.

Fuckyoumod:
■ you didn't read my quote well. Read again.

I am just trying to get the first bit about how only a father can teach a girl what a "true" man is. You are not the first to make such a claim but reality continues to reveal that such ideas don't aline with reality. It just seemed weird how your comment seemed to raise even people raised in majorly dysfunctional settings on a pedestal over those who were spared much of that dysfunction by way of divorce.

And if we are to go by the first part of your comment there, are we equally to claim that orphaned boys and girls have no real concept of what a "true" man is?

jaxxy:


After 50 years u divorce? is that one divorce? divorce to do what after 50 years? when ur children dont born finish?

grandparents will divorce to do wetin again? pls we are talking about serious matters here not far fetched illusions.

fetched illusion.... is alright

gidjah:
men weren't even created to be psychological oga, you will forever be listed and dwarfed if all you have to do for your self is psychology and physical . Men that rule this earth don't do any of this your two factors. I rest my case

If you like take my advice, if you don't like don't take it.

Misbehave in the presence of your kids and blame it on ancestral curse tomorrow when your actions starts to manifest in them.

Until you can differential spirituality from physical and psychological from spirituality, y'all will keep going in circles.

Don't apply spirituality where science is needed and don't apply science where spirituality is needed... Peace

Take my advice and run for your life. My wife is everything you described your woman to be. Today, 9 years of marriage im doing prayer and fasting everyday to still keep my marriage. A force that she doesnt understand keeps pushing her to separate. All of a sudden she has changed from the obedient quiet woman to a stubborn goat. She wants to do the opposite of what i say and you can see it clearly that she's not the one doing these things. Its the forces that separated her parents still fighting to separate her. But because im too strong for them, they keep fighting in vain and God has been keeping my marriage going. But i tell you the battle is not easy. So if you are not ready for it, run away from any lady from a divorced home. But listen to this, if the lady's parents got divorce when she was above 20 years, there's a very high chance that she will do everything to make her own marriage work. So this is an exceptional case. But if her parents divorced when she was still a kid, like below 13 years, my brother, you will fight real battle to keep your marriage. Then going down the history of my wife's family i saw a repeating trend of divorce. Her grandmother was single-parent, her mother single-parent, many of her cousins are single parents, so these are things you should also watch out for because they MATTER!

Offpoint1:

If you like take my advice, if you don't like don't take it.

Misbehave in the presence of your kids and blame it on ancestral curse tomorrow when your actions starts to manifest in them.

Until you can differential spirituality from physical and psychological from spirituality, y'all will keep going in circles.

Don't apply spirituality where science is needed and don't apply science where spirituality is needed... Peace

thank you oga

Lisong:
■ Take my advice and run for your life. My wife is everything you described your woman to be. Today, 9 years of marriage im doing prayer and fasting everyday to still keep my marriage. A force that she doesnt understand keeps pushing her to separate. All of a sudden she has changed from the obedient quiet woman to a stubborn goat. She wants to do the opposite of what i say and you can see it clearly that she's not the one doing these things.
■ [b] Its the forces that separated her parents still fighting to separate her. But because im too strong for them, they keep fighting in vain and God has been keeping my marriage going. But i tell you the battle is not easy.[/b] So if you are not ready for it, run away from any lady from a divorced home. But listen to this, if the lady's parents got divorce when she was above 20 years, there's a very high chance that she will do everything to make her own marriage work. So this is an exceptional case. But if her parents divorced when she was still a kid, like below 13 years, my brother, you will fight real battle to keep your marriage. Then going down the history of my wife's family i saw a repeating trend of divorce.
■ Her grandmother was single-parent, her mother single-parent, many of her cousins are single parents, so these are things you should also watch out for because they MATTER!

1. I see you like lying to yourself! You and your wife need to go for professional marriage counseling, and you need to beg her to tell you the truth, rather than continue to delude yourself that some force is making your wife do things or some other bullsheet.

By the way, you are fasting and praying in vain because God said He does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the prayers, offerings, praises, works, achievements, giving, pleas, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins and hence are rendered an unacceptable abomination to God. He does not answer such filthy prayers. So, you need to take more practical steps in helping you begin clearly realizing the problems in your marriage in order to accept and eventually resolve them.

2. There are no forces out there to get you. How special you must think yourselves that you go as far as to believe that special forces are created to especially separate you in your marriages. No be a delusion of grandeur dem dey call that one?

3. Ask her parents exactly why they separated, and if they are honest with you, they will tell you their exact reason. Stop feeding yourself delusions where you can instead find peace in knowing the truth, for your own minds sake.

Dogalmighty17:
Women from divorced homes tend to also have failed marriages. If her mom could not make it work, there is little incentive for your woman to want to put in all it takes to make her marriage work.

Maybe it's her dad who couldn't make it work.

A marriage is between two grown people but you somehow think the man should be absolved of any responsibility of making a marriage work?

Kobojunkie:
1. I see you like lying to yourself! You and your wife need to go for professional marriage counseling, and you need to beg her to tell you the truth, rather than continue to delude yourself that some force is making your wife do things or some other bullsheet.

By the way, you are fasting and praying in vain because God said He does not answer the prayers of the unrighteous; the prayers, offerings, praises, works, achievements, giving, pleas, etc., of the unrighteous are tainted by their sins and hence are rendered an unacceptable abomination to God. He does not answer such filthy prayers. So, you need to take more practical steps in helping you begin clearly realizing the problems in your marriage in order to accept and eventually resolve them.

2. There are no forces out there to get you. How special you must think yourselves that you go as far as to believe that special forces are created to especially separate you in your marriages. No be a delusion of grandeur dem dey call that one?

3. Ask her parents exactly why they separated, and if they are honest with you, they will tell you their exact reason. Stop feeding yourself delusions where you can instead find peace in knowing the truth, for your own minds sake.

Only an infant will judge another person who he knows nothing about as a sinner. You will make a very poor counsellor in future so don't even attempt counseling. Perhaps you'll do well as a POS operator. If you think denying that Satan does not exist will make Satan disappear, then think again. You must be from one of those churches that deceive their members that there are no spiritual forces when even the Bible you quote out of context agrees that there are spiritual forces. Go away with your childish counsel that has no iota of wisdom in it.

Lisong:
■ Only an infant will judge another person who he knows nothing about as a sinner. You will make a very poor counsellor in future so don't even attempt counseling. Perhaps you'll do well as a POS operator. If you think denying that Satan does not exist will make Satan disappear, then think again. You must be from one of those churches that deceive their members that there are no spiritual forces when even the Bible you quote out of context agrees that there are spiritual forces. Go away with your childish counsel that has no iota of wisdom in it.

As far as the Kingdom of God, there are two kinds of people in fhis world --- the unrighteous and then the righteous. A righteous man is approved as such by God and such a man would not come on here to ask questions of absolute strangers for advice about his private life given he has the Almighty Himself as His private Counselor, guide, Comforter, Helper, etc. 24/7. If you need to hear more about the difference between the the life of the righteous versus the unrighteous, let me know.

Kobojunkie:
As far as the Kingdom of God, there are two kinds of people in fhis world --- the unrighteous and then the righteous. A righteous man is approved as such by God and such a man would not come on here to ask questions of absolute strangers for advice about his private life given he has the Almighty Himself as His private Counselor, guide, Comforter, Helper, etc. 24/7. If you need to hear more about the difference between the the life of the righteous versus the unrighteous, let me know.

My brother apologise for your wrong views and move. You know nothing about God and the Bible. The same scripture says, "in the multitude of counsel there is safety". Go and read your Bible my brother. It's not wrong if a man comes to the public to get ideas on how to tackle his problem. The people you call absolute strangers you don't even know if some of the people here are prophets, pastors , or psychologist, who can offer reasonable godly advise that might save that person. For your mind you're the only righteous person on nairaland. Self righteousness itself is a sin. Repent.

Lisong:
■ My brother apologise for your wrong views and move. You know nothing about God and the Bible. The same scripture says, "in the multitude of counsel there is safety". Go and read your Bible my brother. It's not wrong if a man comes to the public to get ideas on how to tackle his problem. The people you call absolute strangers you don't even know if some of the people here are prophets, pastors , or psychologist, who can offer reasonable godly advise that might save that person. For your mind you're the only righteous person on nairaland. Self righteousness itself is a sin. Repent.

Again....As far as the Kingdom of God, there are two kinds of people in fhis world --- the unrighteous and then the righteous. A righteous man is approved as such by God and such a man would not come on here to ask questions of absolute strangers for advice about his private life given he has the Almighty Himself as His private Counselor, guide, Comforter, Helper, etc. 24/7. If you need to hear more about the difference between the the life of the righteous versus the unrighteous, let me know.


The concept of self-righteousness is meaningless where God is concerned given that in the Kingdom of God, Righteousness is by God's approval and not man's.

Look,if you believe any of what I have stated is wrong, go on and provide direct refutation. Otherwise....

Letsmeet:
Please everyone, what's your opinion on this?
Is it wise to date a young lady from a divorced home?
If She is very nice, quiet, respectful, the most understanding person in the world, doesn't even quarrel. Has a good job and many other good qualities.
But if her parents are divorced, and live in the same area, and she lives with both of them.
What is the likelihood of her divorcing in future? Anyone with similar experiences please?

No