Offpointng:


Don't you think Blanking him will even make him more happy?? Also women shouldn't make themselves too available for their husbands?? from ur write so far esp ur last two paragraphs shows how naive you are and also tell us all you don't seem ready for marriage, not even in next 5years to come

YinkaOlusesi16:
That's why couples need prayer

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

Jman06:
They should keep fit and shed all the fats. Do everything to avoid having potbellies.

There are sexy outfits that can be worn to turn a man's head. They should avoid granny panties and wear sexy lingeries. Above all, they should understand their man's sexual fantasies and take advantage of that.

Dogalmighty17:
Marry first. That's if any man pities you enough to consider you a wife. From the tone of your write-up, you sound like a problematic woman. Men run away from your type.

You are a woman. Discuss with the average Nigerian woman and you will see how vacuous, totally incurious and possessing zero intellectual and conversational abilities they are. So you want a Nigerian man to bore himself to death with that?

Jossyfine:
All the comments above have not actually hit the nail in the right place. The major issue is that African marriages are not laced with romance and affection.
How do I mean?
* Most couple stop showing affection to each other once they start bearing kids and over see finish has crawled into their marriage.
* African couples rarely make out for themselves alone in terms of going on dates ( at least once in a while)
* Marriage is what you put in it ,that’s what you get, you should learn to do things together ie weekends both man and wife can create time to put the huz in order( not by force) but with love cuz it creates bond between couples.
*You can create low budget vacation for just you both without the kids.
*Once in a while try having sex outside the huz, look for an affordable hotel around ur area and maybe do just one night.
* Marriage shouldn’t be about the kids, cuz have noticed what most couple talk about the kids, bills and family issues.Spice it up a little and gist about ur selves, probably the sex you had the previous night😜
* Let there be stewardship ( you guys should always review ur attitude towards each other by asking if each is meeting up expectations etc)*

*Most African couple rarely send romantic messages unlike when they were dating when most times you wake up to see sweet soul piercing messages from ur lover. But in marriage all the messages are for purchases of huz hold items.

Marriage is sweet but not in Africa. Africa marriages are very boring😭

1. Am just wondering how I survived 10 freaking years 😳😳😳and it’s still counting 😔

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

Socratiz:
Your assertion here is replete with conjectures. You saw one family where the husband is avoiding the wife and you assume it's the same with all families. Even if this is prevalent where you stay, it doesn't mean it's the same everywhere.

There are couples who don't avoid each bother after many years of marriage. In fact, the longer their marriage, the stronger the bond between them.

Couples whose marital bond weakens after a few years must have inherent issues which either they are not aware of, or they choose to ignore. They could also be battling with character flaws.

If you expect your marriage to be peaceful and joyfu, that is what you will experience. But if you leave the back door open, the you will find reason to backtrack and use the door.

The type of marriage you chose to build is the type of marriage you will have.

By the way, I have been married for over 32 years and neither myself not my wife has lost interest in each other.

bukatyne:


1. 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂

Have you tried infusing the above into your marriage since you know what to do?

Mindlog:


Then in their later years when their children are grown and left the house, those people outside are long gone, same men would accuse the wives they ignored in their youth of now ignoring them in their old age as their wives have divested emotionally.

frozen70:


Any couple you find in this categories are actually living as flat mates and not husband and wife

Though men wants to taste what other women have out there and once they get it especially the ones that are ready to give him hot hot, the one at home becomes less relevant to him

While she is still faithful and looking forward to being with him and Stay close to him at home, he is busy avoiding her because he got a big fish outside

By the time she discovers that he is not giving her the attention she wants, she will face her directions towards the children who will never ignore her and find solace in them

By the time the man is getting old, he starts coming close to the wife, meanwhile she is already done with him but still living with him

That's when the man will become lonely while he is married to his wife

You can only harvest what you sow that's what this life will offer you

LilMissFavvy:
Definitely not all men lose interest in their wives in future. However any woman who finds herself in this situation should calm down, draw the children to yourself alone, tell them the pain their dad is causing and make sure you have one or two sources of income. Then as the man begins to get older, then you can go ahead and punish him very well. This is where people begin to talk and blame women, they forget the man is reaping what he sowed. Matchew

Jman06:
Most men don't need your care at old age! No man gets loved nor cared for from the adulthood. So, by the time they're old, they would have gotten used to not being cared for.

Mindlog:


Is this evidence based? Please do share data.

EriMma1:


Hmmm... True!

Jman06:
It is what it is. In the environment where I live in Nigeria, men are seeing as liabilities should then demand care and love.

They are meant to work their asses off, marry, care for wife and children, and just about the time the children are ripe enough to care for their parents, he dies leaving the wife to enjoy all the benefits.

Even when he defies death and lives on, [b]he dares not demand love and care from his family, [/b]else he'll be considered a liability and less of a man.

That's the reality most men have come to accept in my environment.

saysoo:
Familiarity breeds boredom. If we Africans can imbibe the values of divorce and seperation,not see it as evil or bad but as a means of happiness. We will start having a better society. First e must have a fairly good economy so that dependency will reduce. Am married for 14+yrs ane feels same at times, never seen another woman/man panty.

Mindlog:


You can't demand for care and love from relatives, it naturally flows from bonding.

Majority of adults who feel indifferent towards their parents are aftermaths of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Children who had secured attachments with their fathers during childhood and adolescence, are more likely to have their fathers close to their hearts in his old age.

Jman06:
In my environment, it is out of place for a man to stay home and start bonding with his children. He's expected to be out there working and paying bills. But after all the years of working and paying bills, he's still considered as not available for the kids and so, no love nor care for him at old age. The mother gets all the love.

Most men have made peace with that arrangement, so they try to make themselves happy the way they can and expect less from anyone.

maestro299:


Initially, I concluded the same but I believe a more accurate stand will be to say that the OP is just afraid of something similar happening to her. The problem, I believe is that many women refuse to build their value away from sex and their youthful physical attributes. With advancing age and the accompanying decline in said attributes, there's really nothing else she has to offer that could spark and/or maintain a man's interest.

Mindlog:


Is your environment not in Nigeria?

You think bonding is tied to staying at home with children? Truly, you have no idea of the psychology of children.😂😂😂

whirlwind7:



Only thing wrong with your observation is how you described it as sudden. It is never sudden.

If it becomes obvious by the tenth year of marriage, be sure that the man's frustration has been building for about half of that period (5 years)
A man sees most (if not all) the qualities he desires in a woman, and makes her his wife. Some years down the line, the wife either sees no need to keep on behaving in that manner that endeared her to her husband initially, or it happened that she was a pretender and is tired of it, and then reverted to her normal self, to the dismay of the man.

I've seen and experienced this.

Jman06:
I don't mean the man should stay at home, but that is the excuse many of you give here. I have read many of you here allude to the fact that the man making money and paying bills is not caring enough. Making me wonder how else you expect a man to care for or bond with his children, given our kind of environment.

saysoo:
Familiarity breeds boredom. If we Africans can imbibe the values of divorce and seperation,not see it as evil or bad but as a means of happiness. We will start having a better society. First e must have a fairly good economy so that dependency will reduce. Am married for 14+yrs ane feels same at times, never seen another woman/man panty.

Jossyfine:


Yeah, of course. I and hubby are trying to do the ones our finances can carry.

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

LaRosa01:
if you never marry,you no go understand.most women are devils at home.so they use love to do publicity stunt in public.men if its good at home you go know,the man and him wife go be like friends once you see any couple doing public love,just know it isn't good at home.

Dogalmighty17:
Marry first. That's if any man pities you enough to co. Discuss with the average Nigerian woman and you will see how vacuous, totally incurious and possessing zero intellectual and conversational abilities they are. So you want a Nigerian man to bore himself to death with that?

Jossyfine:
All the comments above have not actually hit the nail in the right place. The major issue is that African marriages are not laced with romance and affection.
How do I mean?
* Most couple stop showing affection to each other once they start bearing kids and over see finish has crawled into their marriage.
* African couples rarely make out for themselves alone in terms of going on dates ( at least once in a while)
* Marriage is what you put in it ,that’s what you get, you should learn to do things together ie weekends both man and wife can create time to put the huz in order( not by force) but with love cuz it creates bond between couples.
*You can create low budget vacation for just you both without the kids.
*Once in a while try having sex outside the huz, look for an affordable hotel around ur area and maybe do just one night.
* Marriage shouldn’t be about the kids, cuz have noticed what most couple talk about the kids, bills and family issues.Spice it up a little and gist about ur selves, probably the sex you had the previous night😜
* Let there be stewardship ( you guys should always review ur attitude towards each other by asking if each is meeting up expectations etc)*

*Most African couple rarely send romantic messages unlike when they were dating when most times you wake up to see sweet soul piercing messages from ur lover. But in marriage all the messages are for purchases of huz hold items.

Marriage is sweet but not in Africa. Africa marriages are very boring😭

Am just wondering how I survived 10 freaking years 😳😳😳and it’s still counting 😔