CuriousStudent:

The fact you all are demonizing her because his consent was not given is the problem. And not because abortion is wrong
Are you pro-life, or you are pro-life when the man consents to it?

The fickle nature of Nigerian men morality is displayed once more. Ricocheting from acting "pro-life/ calling abortion moral decadence", to excusing abortion "when the man permits it" and finally screaming "why didn't you do abortion" to a woman complaining about her deadbeat baby daddy.

If she kept the baby and they didn't end up marrying this December,what explanation will she give to your puritan folks that will be accepted?

I pity any soul that will pander to the "exhortation","advices", "criticisms" of the male gender and not put their self interest first

uzomakanaki:
the job she's doing I also got it for her after her Nysc.

uzomakanaki:
Fellow nairalanders, please I need advice from matured minds in this group.

I'm in a two year relationship with my woman, we're both working. I'm 34 while she's 27. My montly salary and commision is over 200k with other side hustle i do that bring in funds for me, i also just got a car i want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time.

My fiancee on the other hand is earning 75k monthly. I take good care of her needs and makes sure she doesn't lack anything I can afford.

We both plan to settle down by December.

Sometimes last month she missed her period, after the test we discovered she's 5 weeks pregnant.

I'm against abortion because of the dangers involved in the aftermath, i suggested she keep the baby while I come and see her family and do some necessary things before the main wedding. But she insisted in aborting the baby, reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

She has aborted the baby and had complications because of the quack nurse that performed the abortion. I spent a lot to make her back on her feet

I'm gradually losing interest in the relationship cos that single act of her. I've kept this to myself.

I just need advice on how to handle this. Cos I'm already fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public.

Foodqueen:
For her to av aborted against your wish, I'll say you should move on from her.

I pity her future husband.

MrBrownJay1:


i believe in abortion hands down, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having an abortion..... and as much as the last say on the issue falls on the mother's hand, there needs to be a mature discussion between the couple about it, rather than ignoring what you partner has to say, and just going to do it on your own (as if this woman was single). thats not only INSENSITIVE/SELFISH but also DISRESPECTFUL and VERY RUDE!

CuriousStudent:
I am pro-life. But I am worried why a man's say or opinion should be included since she bears the brunt of pregnancy. On this forum I have seen you repeat the " my body my choice" mantra used to hold single moms accountable. Now that she is living up to that mantra,why is she still blamed?

Take a side please. If a woman will take the praise/ shame of pregnancy ALONE, then she should also take the decision of pregnancy ALONE.

If you want men decisions to be considered concerning keeping or removing pregnancy,they should also be considered when the praise/shame associated with the pregnancy plays out.

If the marriage fails to occurs or he becomes a deadbeat or anything and she comes out crying, you all will say "why did YOU..." and remind us how women are the gatekeepers ofpregnancy and responsibility lies on her shoulders ( you will not include the man). You why should he be included in decision making alone and not blame taking?


The Op fiancee is only protecting her interest and heeding to the advice you all dish out to women. protect themselves and their interest from the cold street out there

uzomakanaki:
Fellow nairalanders, please I need advice from matured minds in this group.

I'm in a two year relationship with my woman, we're both working. I'm 34 while she's 27. My montly salary and commision is over 200k with other side hustle i do that bring in funds for me, i also just got a car i want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time.

My fiancee on the other hand is earning 75k monthly. I take good care of her needs and makes sure she doesn't lack anything I can afford.

We both plan to settle down by December.

Sometimes last month she missed her period, after the test we discovered she's 5 weeks pregnant.

I'm against abortion because of the dangers involved in the aftermath, i suggested she keep the baby while I come and see her family and do some necessary things before the main wedding. But she insisted in aborting the baby, reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

She has aborted the baby and had complications because of the quack nurse that performed the abortion. I spent a lot to make her back on her feet

I'm gradually losing interest in the relationship cos that single act of her. I've kept this to myself.

I just need advice on how to handle this. Cos I'm already fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Your wife cannot just start disrespecting you like that. Men and victim mentality. What did you do to warrant her disrespecting you? She just started disrespecting you just like that? It's no news that you men lack discernment and the ability to be introspective. If we ask her now, perhaps you cheated, refused to provide, or was even disrespecting her too. One-sided story no dey sweet.

You come beat am join. I swear, na smack down I for use finish you if to say na me. After everything, I go call boys to finish the work for your body. You can't touch me and go scot-free. We go settle the matter for court.

UyaiIncomparabl:


I could keep going on about this with you, but you are small. I have your size and type at home in numbers. Sure you were still crawling when I finished secondary school. Adios.

MrBrownJay1:


again, there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE here....
A) she aint virgin mary.... so she made that child with someone and therefore the two of them are both responsible for that. i believe that this the HYPOCRISY of pregnancies....because women can chooose to force a man to be a father AGAINST HIS WILL, but if a man wants to do the exact same thing to a woman, y'all are up in arms. whats good for goose is good for gander!

B) that child is technically both theirs, so they technically should decide together on what to do with that baby....and although i fully understand that the last say belongs to the mother, a respectful/caring person would sit down with you and discuss this issue maturely (rather than just say NO and walking away to abort behind your back).

C) i aint blaming her for having an abortion, i am blaming her for the WAY she had an abortion, while not even listening to what this man had to say, and/or how he felt about it.

FINALLY, i dont make rules on the stigma that some single mother carry in Nigeria/Africa... i just follow them.

Uptheante:

The bolded statement is actually the highest form of disrespect from a woman, unless you really don't know how women think

xynerise:
Did you guys ever discussed " What if I get pregnant?" in you relationship or it is just the normal fuckinalization galore kind of relationship?

Maysdevices:
Unless you’re a woman, refrain from discussing about the mind of a woman.

Disrespect is the highest form of disrespect from a woman, trust me. If a woman dares to disrespects you her man, my guy you are totally useless to her. Women worship and have deep respect for men they consider their partner, once she disrespects you. Move on. You are no more than a younger brother to her.

You’re just seeing it with sentiments because cheating pains you. But the reality is a woman can make a mistake of cheating and still love and deeply value her husband. Una no just fit gree because e dey pain Una
die


The painment no be here 😭😅

emmyN:


With that your 2 inches hand?

UyaiIncomparabl:


2 inches hand wey fit maim you.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Uzomamakanaki,

Forgive and forget, please. She's just having mood swings. Remnants of the pregnancy hormones are still in her, so be easy on her. Try to shower her with more love, attention, and kindness and trust me, she will change. Always kill unreasonable people with kindness.

I know some agents of darkness and enemies of progress will quote me and say rubbish or will tell you to disregard me. Look, when you met her, was she always like that? No, right? Good. Now, search yourself inwardly and think about the wrong things you must have done to her. Sometimes, we wrong people and don't know. Just forgive and forget, please.

Also, she was right when she said she can't be pregnant and working. I know some obi akpo women that like to form hardworking women and good women will quote me and the isi aki men will also quote me saying trash. I care less. But see ehn, a pregnant woman isn't supposed to stress herself jumping buses. You should have at least offered to give her your car to take off the stress so she can be driving or employ a personal driver for her. As for me, I can't be pregnant and be working sha. Even if I will, there must be a car or personal driver. So, I understand her. Pregnancy isn't a plague, but abeg, less stress for the woman. You should have agreed to place her on a salary. Now, see what you have caused!

Lastly, don't call of the marriage. You have come a long way. Forgive and forget. Tell to tame her mouth when talking. But, I believe she will change since she wasn't always like that. Continue providing for her and giving her all she asks of you. Biko, nnam, disregard the advice here asking you to break up with her. Most of them don't have relationships and lack love and are bitter. My advice should be the last advice you read and delete this thread immediately.

My regards to your beautiful wife. Tell her to be a good girl o! Good men and women are hard to find. More children will come. Biko. Tankio!

Raalsalghul:


Victoria, I am disappointed in you for typing this.

UyaiIncomparabl:

Raalsalghul:




So if the Op was your brother, this is what you would advise him abi?

I don't even have an issue with her aborting the child as it's her body and she would be the one to carry the pregnancy but at least she should inform the guy.

Obviously she has no respect for the guy and in her mind damn whatever he's going to do. No regards at all!

Tueh!

UyaiIncomparabl:


I didn't support her taking off the pregnancy, mind you. That was an atrocious thing to have done. But, now that the deed has been done, what next? Let's learn to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Things aren't black and white the way we make it. Or maybe, just maybe I'm being a bit sentimental. I'll also like to hear her side of the story. So many ifs and buts.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Sufferhead girls. I never see. A man earning 30k shouldn't be talking about having babies in the first place.

Raalsalghul:




So if the Op was your brother, this is what you would advise him abi?

I don't even have an issue with her aborting the child as it's her body and she would be the one to carry the pregnancy but at least she should inform the guy.

Obviously she has no respect for him and in her mind damn whatever he's going to do. No regards at all!

But hey, the Op is a simp from the way he sounds and knowing the effects of sunk cost fallacy, he probably would continue with the relationship.

Tueh!