EriMma1:


This their case and most of the ones I've seen is not money. The men have clearly lost interest.
You'll see them sitting with other people outside gisting and laughing while their wives will be alone sitting all by herself. So sad.

You might be thinking it's not just money but you were not there with them from the beginning and you probably also can't give a blow-by-blow account of their daily living and relationship dynamics for the past decade.

They may no longer have money issues but do considered the dampening effect of factors like unresolved conflicts, frequency of those conflicts, the man's assessment of and conclusions on the woman based on those conflicts over the years especially in Nigeria where major causes of marital conflicts trend around money, the lack of it, the things money can buy, 3rd party involvements etc.

I wish them the best though but sometimes the way people treat themselves before their socalled breakthrough tends to affect how they see and treat themselves after they must have made it.

Ciao.

EriMma1:


Hmmm.. let those saying I'm generalizing come and see. It's a thing with the men. Forget. Majority are just pretending or lying to themselves. They are tired!!!!

Please don't send her away. Na you chop her reach like that. So stay with the remnant, ogar.

Hmmm we are still in it oo

We do mot need to mock our women Because they go out of shape.it is not easy
Carrying pregnancy
Delivery
Mostly C sessions
Running monthly period as well.
All this can make you loose good balancing
We should always appreciate them
Cos they are also human as well.
God bless our women.



quote author=Jman06 post=123709374]Because women go out of shape once married due to excessive eating and laziness that hinder them from exercising and keeping fit.

Before you know it they become potbellied, oversized and unattractive. So it is natural for the man to lose interest in her.[/quote]

Most times the wives leaves the role of a wife to play the role mother…

Because the men married because of big breast, big butt and beautiful facial attraction while the women married because of the men's wealth. When these are no longer felt or seen, the interest begins to fade away.

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

First of, married couples with better experience are in the best position to answer this.
But from my observation, it is the way God himself created it.

The bible specifically told husbands to love their wives.
It's instructive that this was not a specific instruction to the wife.

The bible simply specidically tells wives to respect their husbands and be submissive to them.

Why?
It is not easy to love a woman. It is easier to love a man. (As seemingly ironic as this is).

I do not mean the way the world system defines love, but the way 1 Corinthians 13 defines love. Love is not easy.

However if God gives you a good wife, loving them is easier. And yes, a prudent wife is a gift from God.
They are a rarity.
When you see a man who is blessed with a prudent wife, you will know. He can't stop showering encomiums on his wife. I recently watched a documentary about former Gov Wike, and I couldn't believe how his demeanour and countenance softened once he started talking about his wife and how she gives him peace of mind. This is a marriage that has stood the longevity test of trials and blessings.

That said, we can't exonerate men from also being a problem to good wives. When a good woman marries a wrong husband, it is most unfortunate. Cos a man can still change a woman but can a woman change a man? But I believe nothing is impossible with God. Even the legal captives will be set free in Jesus name.

Finally about the couple in question, I perceive there was some thing they had in common that held them together, and probably whatever it is has run its course. It could be a physical attraction, or feeling.
But marriage should be beyond attractions and feelings. Marriage should be purpose driven. They simply need to have a quality time to communicate deeply about it.
They should fast and pray before engaging in the deep talk. I believe they will unravel where the issue is and their marriage will experience a greater passion and fire and direction than it has ever had before.

Marriage, is God's Crown in all his creation and Purpose. Which is why the devil fights it with every thing he has.
He fights people from being married.
Fights people to make them marry wrong or be pressured to marry for the wrong reasons.
Fights people by throwing various challenges and lusts/temptations.
Fights the children. Etc.

But when we are conscious of this battles we won't be playing the defensive or victims, we will always be on the offensive and fight from a Victor's position. Cos truly, Christ already won the battles for us. We simply need to come into the knowledge and authority and promises we have in Him.

God help us all.
God bless every marriage.
God help the singles to get marriage right.
In the Mighty and Matchless name of Jesus. Amen

Tayorshd87:



Hmmm we are still in it oo

This one you're saying hmmm .. you must be really tired. Abeg tell me what it is.

Is it like most people here claimed that women nag a lot or you no longer find her attractive?

What is annoying you about her?

Please, just take it as a cross and be with her. With time, the love will come back.
May God restore the love in your marriage Biko. I feel for you though but feel more for her.

It is well.

collins2057:
Most times the wives leaves the role of a wife to play the role mother…

But you can't blame her now or should she neglect the children just because she wants to keep slaying for you?

You men are expecting too much from women and it's not fair o. Hmm..

Jman06:
Because women go out of shape once married due to excessive eating and laziness that hinder them from exercising and keeping fit.

Before you know it they become potbellied, oversized and unattractive. So it is natural for the man to lose interest in her.

The same way your mum is. Some people will open mouth and talk like fools. Guy get sense. Haven’t you seen what childbirth does to women. The same fool like you will go ahead and criticize a woman that keeps extremely fit and gives less attention to her husband. Any woman that listens to a mans advice on what they want is a fool. Do what’s in your heart. Stay positively wicked

*Once wife Nagged a lot.

*disrespectful worlds to ur hubby.

* as a wife once u don't no how to address issue with respect once ur hubby is broke.

* once u can't give ur hubby peace of mind.

Once a wife lack all this , marriage easily break.

Jossyfine:
All the comments above have not actually hit the nail in the right place. The major issue is that African marriages are not laced with romance and affection.
How do I mean?
* Most couple stop showing affection to each other once they start bearing kids and over see finish has crawled into their marriage.
* African couples rarely make out for themselves alone in terms of going on dates ( at least once in a while)
* Marriage is what you put in it ,that’s what you get, you should learn to do things together ie weekends both man and wife can create time to put the huz in order( not by force) but with love cuz it creates bond between couples.
*You can create low budget vacation for just you both without the kids.
*Once in a while try having sex outside the huz, look for an affordable hotel around ur area and maybe do just one night.
* Marriage shouldn’t be about the kids, cuz have noticed what most couple talk about the kids, bills and family issues.Spice it up a little and gist about ur selves, probably the sex you had the previous night😜
* Let there be stewardship ( you guys should always review ur attitude towards each other by asking if each is meeting up expectations etc)*

*Most African couple rarely send romantic messages unlike when they were dating when most times you wake up to see sweet soul piercing messages from ur lover. But in marriage all the messages are for purchases of huz hold items.

Marriage is sweet but not in Africa. Africa marriages are very boring😭

Am just wondering how I survived 10 freaking years 😳😳😳and it’s still counting 😔

the same Yankee wedding where them dey divorce like water na in sweet.

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

Your assertions are filled with so many lacunas. You have made them without sufficient data. How many couples have you ask directly, the real reasons why they have grown apart after all these years together? And at the end of your post, you blame it on the man advising the women not to be too available...
You assume too much. You obviously don't know anything. When you get married, the answers will be clearer to you.

Enice:
All this una postulation is total bunkum. Look, it's all about mindset. It starts with enjoying sex with her, being playful, happy, coming home early to continue the sex, then pregnancy, and child birth. If you make up your mind to believe that your wife's kpekus is the best and sweetest in the world, you go enter that hole a thousand times you no go tire. Even after 3 kids you go still dey rush am.

Oh! Yours postulation is what? Perhaps myopic

vickydevoka:

I have 2 brothers n a sister. I have safe upto 5 million naira to start her visa n pay part of her school fees. Though she is in fina year. Bringing your sister is better to us, Canada or UK is better. They country is for women and single men. When ever you decide to marry as a man , you will loose till you leave her. As soon as my uncle ( my mother younger brother)left his wife , he sponsored 2 of us. And sending money anyhow. But when he is married even call is very hard. He pays all the bill for peace to rain. At some point he couldn't take it, he got a better job in Canada and divorced her. Money come choke everywhere.

Wow.

...might be because of see finish..

Women also lose interest too..It's a two way thing..

EriMma1:


This their case and most of the ones I've seen is not money. The men have clearly lost interest.
You'll see them sitting with other people outside gisting and laughing while their wives will be alone sitting all by herself. So sad.

Most men go through emotional torture for a long time from their wives. The women are not ready to make amends, but will be acting nice when they need a favor from their husbands.

The quickly withdraw to their shelves of emotional bulling, after obtaining the favor. Their husbands get tired of them.

Lmao
Women marry for protection...they have protected you na. Rest.
The worst thing any woman can do is assume that a man does not know what real love is.
You are only deceiving yourself for a while and he will marry you because he wants children and you’re “not bad”...but you are NOT his spec.
On the other hand most men lie to themselves when it comes to the reality of monogamy, MOST cannot cope with it but will agree to it because it’s the norm and still maintain a billion side hens outside.

If more men told themselves the truth and more women stopped building castles in the sky with their expectations the world will be a better place.

Married men talk like single teenage boys when they gather and you never hear any mention of a wife in their discussion.
Go to a gathering of women and you will not stop hearing “my husband said”.

hero2000:


This statement right here is ungodly. Women, don't believe this!

While it is good to keep in shape, it is commitment and discipline to for any man to be faithful to you dear lady. Don't fall for this sh*t. It is just an excuse for cheating.

Don't you hear of beautiful and curvy figure 8 women whose husband cheat on them with househelps?

I have been married for 8years. I have never cheated because I fear the Lord. Fine girls dey everywhere. But you look at the wife you made a covenant to be with, and tell yourself, 'she is fine'.

Na d way be that o.

You fear the lord . Una no dey ever tire to spin fairy tales.

Jman06:
Most women become unattractive once married. That's why married men cheat.

Imagine seeing one hippopotamus with oversized grandma panties everyday. The man is bound to lose interest in her. If not for children and what the society would say, most married men would chase their wives away after few years of marriage.

Wicked man
Funny but truth!

I'm so happy you commented with wisdom ,InFact padded with your milage of experience. I try avoid generalizations because there are many great and amazing marriages out there worthy of emulation,but those kinds of marriages won't trend especially in this day and age.
I believe strongly that the marriage you prepare for ( in proper learnings, getting wise counsel, keen observation, etc) is the marriage you'll have (both as a single & married person). Loosing interest is normal but knowing the reason or purpose of a thing- (in this case marriage) is pivotal this aiding ones intentions to be properly re-calibrated. "When a purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable" abi?. so both parties should put their whole living to make their marriage work, cos if you don't work it out,it won't work out. It's not about the man or the woman,it's about them both.
They both should make COMMUNICATION an integral part of their existence,talk about EVERYTHING, leaving no stones unturned,if that issue can't be settled now,then say "babe, well come back to this again tomorrow " and do so intentionally and sincerely. When we give silently treatments and heap up lies and all other foolish acts, those seeds grow and kaboom - wahala bursts out later and people who don't know exactly what has been swept under the carpets will be saying things they don't understand as to why they "know" why that marriage has issues.
It's not about men or women it's about both of them. Mens lives are already difficult,any man will avoid dying young like his other counterparts so a man generally wants to be happy. So if she makes him happy better for them, make yourself a better woman each day, increase in value and he'll cherish you more and more each day, be the submissive lover he so desires. Every real man seeks a helper, if any woman is wise, she'll be that (valuable) helper. Be the proverbs 31 woman but be that to your (chosen) king. Marry your kind so that it can be easier for you both. Marry for the right reasons. Marriage is a synergy not a solo.

Socratiz:
Your assertion here is replete with conjectures. You saw one family where the husband is avoiding the wife and you assume it's the same with all families. Even if this is prevalent where you stay, it doesn't mean it's the same everywhere.

There are couples who don't avoid each bother after many years of marriage. In fact, the longer their marriage, the stronger the bond between them.

Couples whose marital bond weakens after a few years must have inherent issues which either they are not aware of, or they choose to ignore. They could also be battling with character flaws.

If you expect your marriage to be peaceful and joyfu, that is what you will experience. But if you leave the back door open, the you will find reason to backtrack and use the door.

The type of marriage you chose to build is the type of marriage you will have.

By the way, I have been married for over 32 years and neither myself not my wife has lost interest in each other.

Op the koko be sey d wife don old and her engine no get oil like before na y. But all things equal,the man no fit try such rubbish even if dem don dey for 100years. That's why kayanmata is not an option. It's super necessary....if you know,you know.

Chinny024:
...might be because of see finish..

Women also lose interest too..It's a two way thing..

Thank you.
Women lose interest faster than men.
Just that Women are smarter.
It's never on their faces and actions that they have lost interest.

Badmashii:
Op the koko be sey d wife don old and her engine no get oil like before na y. But all things equal,the man no fit try such rubbish even if dem don dey for 100years. That's why kayanmata is not an option. It's super necessary....if you know,you know.

100% of women at 60yrs can still bang comfortably but can men sustain erection comfortably at 60?
Heck, what am I saying, midlife crises see most men losing it completely.
The problem with you boys is that you brag too much when reality is the opposite. It's men that go for sexual enhancement drugs not women.
Or is it men with millipede kind of prik, the bent one, the very short one. One that cannot stand at full mast. Women take shit and still respect men without talking but these idiots will come online everyday to denigrate women even when odds are against them. Some even shot empty.
Culture and kids make women close mouth. Not that the man is irreplaceable. Respect women so they will respect you.

It's known fact that married Nigerian women are the most promiscuous in this world. Do the maths.

Too much of availability make the air boring

Too much of availability make the air boring[b][/b]

Too much of availability make the air boring

EriMma1:


So what do you suggest the married woman do to get their husbands attention and fully attracted to them?

Practical tips o.
Types of outfits suitable for indoor parole and other tips on their looks.

Tips:
1. She should watch her figure
2. Well dress
3. Avoid provocative dress most of the time (too much of everything is bad (
4. Avoid nagging
5. Take good care of the children
6. Avoid heated argument

Sunmolar:
Most problems in marriage is money related.

A married man maybe rich and decides to flirt around. Thus, infidelity can bring problem if found out by the wife
A married man maybe be broke and be disrespected by the wife. Thus, when the man becomes rich he may feel that the wife is not needed since there was no respect without money

Yes. You're right. You have dissected the problems.

don89:
E get where e go reach, you go dey see your wife as your sister.

Pls What do u mean by that?
Can u explain better

descarado:

Thank you.
Women lose interest faster than men.
Just that Women are smarter.
It's never on their faces and actions that they have lost interest.

I don't think so.. Except the man don't take recognition of it.Declilning sex, amount of attention she gives u are all on a diminished rate..Even the number of times she calls...A woman’s action would be more glaring including immediate pepper body at him most times unlike when they started the marriage.🤣🤣🤣🤣

descarado:

100% of women at 60yrs can still bang comfortably but can men sustain erection comfortably at 60?
Heck, what am I saying, midlife crises see most men losing it completely.
The problem with you boys is that you brag too much when reality is the opposite. It's men that go for sexual enhancement drugs not women.
Or is it men with millipede kind of prik, the bent one, the very short one. One that can stand at full mast. Women take shit and still respect men without talking but these idiots will come online everyday to denigrate women even when odds are against them. Some even shot empty.
Culture and kids make women close mouth. Mot that the man is irreplaceable. Respect women so they will respect you.

It's known fact that married Nigerian women are the most promiscuous in this world. Do the maths.

Be calming down oooo...No vex.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jman06:
Most women become unattractive once married. That's why married men cheat.

Imagine seeing one hippopotamus with oversized grandma panties everyday. The man is bound to lose interest in her. If not for children and what the society would say, most married men would chase their wives away after few years of marriage.

Not all married women oga...Looking attractive is a personal decision...
Don't generalize it biko...