Stats: 3,186,796 members, 7,930,701 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 August 2024 at 06:00 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? (1450 Views)
What Lesson Has Life Taught You So Far? / Growing Up, How Many Did You Break Washing This (Photo) / Share Your Funniest Experience While Growing Up (2) (3) (4)
Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:47pm On Jun 29, 2023 |
Let share views wish to hear from u guys life has nt be fair |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Candidlady: 12:21am On Jun 30, 2023 |
RAISING A SON AS A SINGLE MOTHER HOW HAS LIFE BEEN 7 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Pojomojo: 2:53am On Jun 30, 2023 |
I was raised by my father. I was 10 and my sister 6 when our parents split. My dad was the far more responsible one to take care of us. Especially since my mother moved to another country. My parents did have joint custody though and I saw my mother on (ir)regular basis. My dad has always been my rock, he has encouraged me to spread my wings and fly and warned me about bad decisions. He has been there for me - always. I am now 1 years old. I have never been arrested, nor have I ever done anything that would give cause for such actions, I have not even gotten into trouble with any law enforcement agencies, I am educated, I have a professionally satisfying career, I have always taken care of my responsabilities. When I was a teenager I had a steady boyfriend and even though me and my dad fought from time to time and I thought he was stupid and inflexable we never had anything worse to say to each other really. So yeah, I was raised by my dad and I’m a real bad-ass. I fight for equality, I am pretty vocal about how I feel about politics and unfair treatment of elders, children and unemployed people. I am fiercly protective of my family and I am passionate about many things. I have a firm confidence in myself and wont be knocked down easily and I am not afraid to speak my mind. So yeah, my dad really raised an bad-ass. (Short answer is: Surely there are single dads doing a bad job at raising their kids, aswell as single mothers doing a bad job raising their kids, but as a parent myself I have not once needed my Instruments to raise my kids, apart from birthing them, so I would say, bad parenting has nothing to do with gender.) 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Oyindamolah: 2:55am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Boys who are raised by single moms are no “better or worse than children who are raised by any other family situation. Think about how ridiculous it sounds to lump male children of single moms into one group and ask for an opinion about them. I think perhaps you should rephrase the question. But if you are looking for advice from a single mom raising a boy, I can tell you my opinion on what I find difficult in raising him. I want my son to see that his mom works hard inside and out side the home and that women are productive and capable. I want him to know that men should work just as hard as women and be just as hands on as a parent. I can not model male behavior but I make sure that he knows what it is and how men interact in this world. I model love and acceptance and responsibility but I can’t model everything so when I see some attribute that I think a male should possess, I point out examples and situations and how he should behave. I don’t want him to be a pushover and I want him to be protective and be a gentleman and a guy who “shows up” so I give him opportunities to do so and I explain why it’s right for him to possess those qualities. So back to your question… my “opinion” of boys who have single moms is that they are pretty lucky if their mom takes the time to show them the way and to point out what they think is important…. Now go thank your mom… NOW 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by lavylilly: 3:08am On Jun 30, 2023 |
I believe depending on the mother they are very succesful. My auntie has 3 boys, she had to raised them by herself as the father walked away from them when they were young. The three of them are super amazing, loving and protecting. They are all happily married and raising children, the oldest is a business owner and has a company, the second became a police officer and now he just finished his as Law degree. The youngest is a OBGyn and is planning on opening his own clinic. My auntie worked hard and paid for their studies, as they live in a country where no help, loans or scholarships are available. They are super grateful to my auntie for she was more than enough to raise three succesful men. Funny though, when my cousin became a doctor, about 30 years after he left, their father showed up and wanted to be part of their lives. They all said no thank you, their mom was both mother and father to them, so they had everything that they needed. 10 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Hamachi(f): 3:30am On Jun 30, 2023 |
I just want to emphasize that a boy does not become a man because he’s learned how to be masculine. My ex, the biological father of my daughter, was a male. He mas masculine. He liked things that interest a typical male. But I do not believe he is a man. Because a man does not abandon his own child. A man does not make promises he cannot keep or commit to. A man holds up to his responsibilities instead of making excuses. A man does best by the people he owes out of self respect and gratitude. He failed to do all that. So he’s not a real man in my eyes. If I had a son, I would not be worried at all. Because I can teach him about being a man more than anyone can. I think I can be more of a man than most men I know (which is really sad if you would think about it). I acknowledge the need of a boy to have a male role model growing up - there are just some things both physical and emotional that only an actual male can guide him through. This he can find from his extended support system - grandfathers or uncles or even older siblings, teachers and mentors from the community. If I had a son, I would be confident raising him with the right values. I would raise him to treat others with kindness, to keep his word, to own up to his responsibilities and to respect other people. And that’s really all that matters. For my sister, it has been very hard. She was widowed when their son was just a baby, and my heart broke for him that he didn’t have a dad in his life. Financially, for a while it was a struggle - I have major envy of all of those women that can be stay at home mums, or just need to work part-time - they have more money and more time. Society is hard and judgy on single moms. People can be mean. I was probably more strict and had very high expectations of behaviour, as people almost expect the offspring of a single mum to be a bad asrse. The hardest thing I found was there was no one to talk about the stuff the son was up to. If he did something cool, or funny, or reached a milestone… it would be nice to tell the person that loved them as much as you. Or even if they do something worrying… you don’t want to be slagging off your kid to your friends or even their grandparents. I wish I had been better at asking for help. In all though, it has been hard but it’s also been a blessing. The boy is an amazing teenager now, and a really good and hard working person. 9 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Meerahbel: 3:42am On Jun 30, 2023 |
The best parenting advice I ever got didn’t come from another parent. It wasn’t even about parenting. Nonetheless, I’ve used this advice every single day of my 5years+, and it’s the most valuable tool in my toolkit. When I was pregnant with my eldest son, I was reading through some old Reader’s Digest magazines, and came across one of those cute, funny stories used as place-fillers at the end of an article. It went something like this: Our last pet had passed away, so we bought a new kitten. The first day we had her at home, she started sharpening her claws on the side of the couch—as kittens do—so my dad picked her up and put her outside. Fifteen years later, she still claws the side of the couch every time she wants to go out. This story is my guiding beacon as a parent. Every moment of every day, you are teaching your children something. With every single thing you say, do, or don’t do, you are teaching your children what they should say, do, and not do. The trick, as a parent, is not to teach your children the right things; the trick is to know what you’re teaching them. If your children overhear you telling your friend how much you hate Susan’s new haircut, and then they hear you telling Susan you love her hair, you might think you’re teaching them the value of being kind to people, even if it involves a little white-lie. But what you may actually be teaching your children is that: 1. It’s okay to talk about people behind their back. 2. It’s okay to insult people behind their back. 3. It’s okay to lie to people. If you tell your child to clean up his/her room, and when he asks why, you yell: “Because I’m your mother and I said to do it!”, you might think you’re teaching them both the importance of keeping their living space tidy, and of respecting their elders. But what you may actually be teaching your children is that: 1. It’s okay to yell at people if they don’t do what you say. 2. Being older, bigger, and stronger than someone gives you the right to treat them however you want. 3. When you’re bigger than someone, you can control their environment and there’s nothing they can do about it. If you’re running late to get to an important event and you happen across a car that’s broken down, so you stop and help the driver, you might worry that you’re teaching your children that punctuality doesn’t matter. (You may also worry that you’re inadvertently teaching them a variety of swear words as you get on your way once more!) But what you may actually be teaching your children is that: 1. The well-being of people is more important than any single event. 2. All people matter—even people you don’t personally know. 3. Helping people is the right thing to do. Often we don’t know what we’re teaching our kids until after they’ve learned it, but this “advice”, such as it is, helps me be more mindful in the moment of the lessons I’m teaching. And, most importantly, it allows me to reflect back on when and how I taught the behaviour I’m seeing in my children. If your children—especially small children—are behaving in ways you don’t like, it’s not because they’re not good at learning, or they’re not paying attention, or you need to discipline them more; it’s because you’re accidentally teaching them the wrong things. Stop trying to change them. Start changing yourself. Otherwise, in fifteen years, they’ll still be clawing the side of the couch when they want to go outside. Good morning! 8 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Nice2023(m): 5:01am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Candidlady: U eh. Keep it up sha. Na so Abuja girls dey be...very bunt and straightforward. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Shegzdave: 9:41am On Jun 30, 2023 |
First off, raising a boy isn’t an easy feat talkmore being raised by a single mother isn’t easy one bit and I give kudos to women who do did that , they’re Golden. Contrary to the popular opinion that boys raised by single mothers are too soft, I’ll say it’s a lie caused being raised by a single mother who prioritize hard work and lacks entitlement mentality will sharpen the boy into something great, a mother who believes that she could single handedly raised a child(boy), with all the stress involved in it. Men raised by single mothers always feel loved, even in their relationship, the only disadvantage is that they checkmate the love a lady have for them and once they realized it’s not like their Mum, they can have issue with the said lady cause they’re used to being loved, and pampered but they always look out for those they love, being raised by a single mother will warrant people calling you “Mummy’s Boy” but why should you give a f*ck about that cause you should be proud being called that. Also, the guy will try everything in his ability to have a stable marriage so that his kids won’t have the issue of a missing fatherly figure while growing up cause growing up without one can make the boy not assertive, shy though. If you’re dating a guy raised by a single mother, don’t try and make him choose between you and his Mum cause there is every possibility he’ll choose his Mum over you over and over again. In conclusion, as a guy being raised by a single mother will change his perspective about a lot of things. Shoutout to the Hardworking Single Mum raising their children all by themselves cause shit ain’t easy. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Kajaard: 9:47am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Pojomojo: Na wah oh ![]() ![]() He simply asked for those people raised by single moms to see reactions as society has a negative notion that kids raised by single moms become soft or lack character and engage in vices. And we wonder why our graduates are not employable when they cannot answer simple questions ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by ChybuzzDD(m): 9:51am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Candidlady: This is still wrong, grammatically and contextually. In your own case, the question is meant to be answered by the single mothers. In his case, he wants the sons raised by single mothers to answer the question. 4 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:20am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Candidlady:it has not been easy but i guess mother do raise kid better than father 4 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:26am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Pojomojo:am really impres with this write up. In the last 16 years have always been on my mom side till i lost her last year she has been my everything had recived more lesson from her than my dad. Now i dnt no how to associate with my father now 4 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:31am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Oyindamolah:sister oyin i think this is the perfect way i was raise my mom has taught me alot but now she is no more. Would i still associate with my father ? 3 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:33am On Jun 30, 2023 |
lavylilly:my father now want us close now that my mom is late how do i go about it 3 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:35am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Hamachi:. When they no they will comeback why do they leave before 3 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:39am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Meerahbel:hmm life |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Hamachi(f): 10:40am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Dc14:I don't get. |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:48am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Kajaard:lol people say female no sabi raise pekin |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:49am On Jun 30, 2023 |
ChybuzzDD:yes sir i guess the view is from both |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:50am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Dc14:mother are better i swear |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:52am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Hamachi:like father leave his family and come for them leta |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 10:52am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Thanks so much fam |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Oyindamolah: 10:55am On Jun 30, 2023 |
An excellent question, and thank you for asking; I hope that I can help to give you a few LONG answers… Firstly, understand that even though you have never met your dad, he is NOT a stranger. I would argue that strangers are people that you have never met and have no connection to; just because you have never met a family member, that doesn’t make them a stranger in my book. Family is family, whether you have met them or not. Not the same thing as a stranger to me. These are questions that you would not necessarily ask a stranger, but your dad is your dad, and you have every right to ask him questions, so don’t be afraid. Ask your questions with respect, especially personal questions (and most of them will be personal questions), but you have the right to ask. Do so politely and respectfully, but ask any and every question that you would like to have an answer to. He may decline to answer some questions, for various reasons: perhaps some will make him uncomfortable because the question may bring on a sense of guilt, others may bring back unpleasant memories, some may be painful to him— but still, if a question comes to your mind, you probably have the right to ask him. He always has the right to not answer a question, but hopefully the two of you can meet somewhere in the middle, and get answers to your most important questions. He will probably have questions of his own as well, and answer those the best you can, without being too emotional, especially without becoming angry. This is the time to talk, to ask questions, to seek answers. This is not the time to become angry, to make demands, to point fingers, or to accuse. Tread these deep waters carefully, especially in your first several conversations. If he seems to be angry, upset, or uncomfortable (and don’t be surprised if he is), then it indicates that he is in pain too, and doesn’t want to be hurt any further himself. It may-or-may-not matter, especially if he was wrong in the choices he made, but he’s only human, like you, and has/will make mistakes. Don’t make the mistake of feeling that because he is your parent that he should have been perfect, or isn’t entitled to make mistakes of his own, because he has made mistakes, maybe lots of them, maybe very bad mistakes. You want to learn from him, you want answers to your questions. Try to keep that in mind the first several times you speak to him. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of the answers you seek. There might be some questions that he can’t answer at first, because the answers are too painful for him. If that happens, don’t push him. Let it go for now. As he begins to become more comfortable talking to you for the first time, he will begin to relax, and it will become easier for your dad to answer the harder and more painful questions. Give him the time he needs. If you are calm and kind to him, he is much more likely to open up to you, and to be honest with you, even if talking about some of these things are painful to him. Ask questions, and then be quiet and listen; if he has to think and sort through the feelings and memories, give him the time he needs to verbalize an answer. This will be hard for him too, so give your dad the time he needs to find the answers to your questions. Ask, then be silent and wait, respectfully. He will open up to you if you let him, give him the time he needs to open up to you. This is hard for men to do. Ask, then wait patiently. No doubt you already have many, many, questions to ask him, and absolutely you should, each and every one of them! Don’t be afraid. Ask all of them, respectfully. Some of the questions I write here may not apply to your situation, since I don’t know exactly what your situation is, nor your father’s situation, so I’m painting a very broad stroke here with my questions. Keep the ones that you would like answers to, discard the ones that have no meaning or importance to you. The obvious questions are the toughest ones, but still, I’d want to ask those first, and then the easier ones later. Here are some questions that I would want to ask my father if I’d never met him before: -Why haven’t we met before this time? -Did you love my mom? -What were you doing for a living when mom became pregnant with me? What was your life, and mom’s life, like when she became pregnant? -Why couldn’t you stay with me and mom? (this one may be very difficult and painful for him to answer, it may be the hardest one for him) -Why did you want to meet me after all of this time? -What was it like when you were told you were going to be a father? Were you afraid? -Do your bothers and sisters (your aunts and uncles) know about me? Do they want to meet me? (Do you want to meet them?) -Did you ever ask my mom about me? - Did you ever wonder where I was or how I was doing? -Were you mad at my mom for becoming pregnant with me? -Are you angry with me? (this question will be an emotional question and probably with an emotional answer; again, try not to let your emotions get in the way at this time) -Where did you grow up? -What was your childhood like? Did your dad stay in your life? -How did your parents treat you? (we usually learn how to be a parent by the way our parents treated us, so if his parents were not very good at parenting, then it becomes more likely that he would have challenges becoming a good parent as well) -What did you learn from your mom and dad about being a parent? -What did you dislike about your parents? -Did you learn not to do some things they did that you didn’t like? (for instance, my dad was a smoker, so I grew up hating cigarettes) If you could go back in time, what would you do different? -Do you have any regrets? Why? Have you remarried? Does my step-mom want to meet me? Is she nice? Does she have children of her own? -Do I have any half-brothers or -sisters? Do they know about me? Do they want to meet me? -Tell me about the rest of my family that I haven’t met yet. -What kinds of things are you interested in? -What are the things that you are good at? (this is a good way to find out what you have in common, and what traits you may have inherited from your dad, such as, is he an artist? Is he good at fixing things? Does he like to travel? Find out how much you are like him) Are your parents still alive? If yes, would they like to meet me? -What are/were your parents like? -Do you have pictures of them? (often you can see a family resemblance in your parents and grandparents and yourself; you came from them, after all) -Do you have drug or alcohol issues? Do you have anger issues? -Were you in the military? If yes, tell me about it. -What are your best and worst memories of that time? How long were you in? -Tell me about your family. -Are you close with them? -Do they live nearby? -What do you like to do when you’re not working? -What are your hobbies? There are thousands of questions that should also be on here, but I’m not smart enough to come up with all of them. But these are probably the first ones that I would want to ask my dad, and a lot of them, I did ask my dad. Don’t be afraid. Ask all the questions you want answers to. Answer all of his questions the best you can, too. Find a middle ground that both of you are comfortable standing on, and go from there. Whew. This is a huge moment, and I’m there with you and hoping and praying for you my friend. Godspeed to you, and if you can, please let all of us know how it went. Even if it doesn’t go well, at least you will walk away knowing more than you did before, and sometimes that is the best we can get. All my best to you ❤️ Dc14: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 11:17am On Jun 30, 2023 |
[quote author=Oyindamolah post=124122315][font=serif] An excellent question, and thank you for asking; I hope that I can help to give you a few LONG answers… Firstly, understand that even though you have never met your dad, he is NOT a stranger. I would argue that strangers are people that you have never met and have no connection to; just because you have never met a family member, that doesn’t make them a stranger in my book. Family is family, whether you have met them or not. Not the same thing as a stranger to me. These are questions that you would not necessarily ask a stranger, but your dad is your dad, and you have every right to ask him questions, so don’t be afraid. Ask your questions with respect, especially personal questions (and most of them will be personal questions), but you have the right to ask. Do so politely and respectfully, but ask any and every question that you would like to have an answer to. He may decline to answer some questions, for various reasons: perhaps some will make him uncomfortable because the question may bring on a sense of guilt, others may bring back unpleasant memories, some may be painful to him— but still, if a question comes to your mind, you probably have the right to ask him. He always has the right to not answer a question, but hopefully the two of you can meet somewhere in the middle, and get answers to your most important questions. He will probably have questions of his own as well, and answer those the best you can, without being too emotional, especially without becoming angry. This is the time to talk, to ask questions, to seek answers. This is not the time to become angry, to make demands, to point fingers, or to accuse. Tread these deep waters carefully, especially in your first several conversations. If he seems to be angry, upset, or uncomfortable (and don’t be surprised if he is), then it indicates that he is in pain too, and doesn’t want to be hurt any further himself. It may-or-may-not matter, especially if he was wrong in the choices he made, but he’s only human, like you, and has/will make mistakes. Don’t make the mistake of feeling that because he is your parent that he should have been perfect, or isn’t entitled to make mistakes of his own, because he has made mistakes, maybe lots of them, maybe very bad mistakes. You want to learn from him, you want answers to your questions. Try to keep that in mind the first several times you speak to him. Don’t let your emotions get in the way of the answers you seek. There might be some questions that he can’t answer at first, because the answers are too painful for him. If that happens, don’t push him. Let it go for now. As he begins to become more comfortable talking to you for the first time, he will begin to relax, and it will become easier for your dad to answer the harder and more painful questions. Give him the time he needs. If you are calm and kind to him, he is much more likely to open up to you, and to be honest with you, even if talking about some of these things are painful to him. Ask questions, and then be quiet and listen; if he has to think and sort through the feelings and memories, give him the time he needs to verbalize an answer. This will be hard for him too, so give your dad the time he needs to find the answers to your questions. Ask, then be silent and wait, respectfully. He will open up to you if you let him, give him the time he needs to open up to you. This is hard for men to do. Ask, then wait patiently. No doubt you already have many, many, questions to ask him, and absolutely you should, each and every one of them! Don’t be afraid. Ask all of them, respectfully. Some of the questions I write here may not apply to your situation, since I don’t know exactly what your situation is, nor your father’s situation, so I’m painting a very broad stroke here with my questions. Keep the ones that you would like answers to, discard the ones that have no meaning or importance to you. The obvious questions are the toughest ones, but still, I’d want to ask those first, and then the easier ones later. Here are some questions that I would want to ask my father if I’d never met him before: -Why haven’t we met before this time? -Did you love my mom? -What were you doing for a living when mom became pregnant with me? What was your life, and mom’s life, like when she became pregnant? -Why couldn’t you stay with me and mom? (this one may be very difficult and painful for him to answer, it may be the hardest one for him) -Why did you want to meet me after all of this time? -What was it like when you were told you were going to be a father? Were you afraid? -Do your bothers and sisters (your aunts and uncles) know about me? Do they want to meet me? (Do you want to meet them?) -Did you ever ask my mom about me? - Did you ever wonder where I was or how I was doing? -Were you mad at my mom for becoming pregnant with me? -Are you angry with me? (this question will be an emotional question and probably with an emotional answer; again, try not to let your emotions get in the way at this time) -Where did you grow up? -What was your childhood like? Did your dad stay in your life? -How did your parents treat you? (we usually learn how to be a parent by the way our parents treated us, so if his parents were not very good at parenting, then it becomes more likely that he would have challenges becoming a good parent as well) -What did you learn from your mom and dad about being a parent? -What did you dislike about your parents? -Did you learn not to do some things they did that you didn’t like? (for instance, my dad was a smoker, so I grew up hating cigarettes) If you could go back in time, what would you do different? -Do you have any regrets? Why? Have you remarried? Does my step-mom want to meet me? Is she nice? Does she have children of her own? -Do I have any half-brothers or -sisters? Do they know about me? Do they want to meet me? -Tell me about the rest of my family that I haven’t met yet. -What kinds of things are you interested in? -What are the things that you are good at? (this is a good way to find out what you have in common, and what traits you may have inherited from your dad, such as, is he an artist? Is he good at fixing things? Does he like to travel? Find out how much you are like him) Are your parents still alive? If yes, would they like to meet me? -What are/were your parents like? -Do you have pictures of them? (often you can see a family resemblance in your parents and grandparents and yourself; you came from them, after all) -Do you have drug or alcohol issues? Do you have anger issues? -Were you in the military? If yes, tell me about it. -What are your best and worst memories of that time? How long were you in? -Tell me about your family. -Are you close with them? -Do they live nearby? -What do you like to do when you’re not working? -What are your hobbies? There are thousands of questions that should also be on here, Sis am really greatful u made my day already. The fact we do stay together before the family part away in 2014 i was even the one who facilitate it cause i was not please with the way my mom was been treated but i lost her last year. He said he want us back as one family he is a poly family am not too ok i dnt no if i will associate or not that why am asking for view so i can no what step to talk so i will nt be at fault at the end 1 Like |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by NairalandSARS: 11:52am On Jun 30, 2023 |
Dc14: Shun am. 2 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Houseofglam7(f): 12:10pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
😁
|
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Mindlog: 12:28pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
Very insightful contributions so far. |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 12:56pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
This people are just awesome |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Mille: 7:58pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
Hamachi: I really enjoyed reading your reply. Back to the topic.No; You alone cannot teach a son on how to be a man. I grew up in a lower middle class environment with a very alarming rate of single motherhood. In fact, our building had 4 single mother tenants and I had to befriend, play and go to school with plenty of guys who were raised by single moms. My observations are the following; - There is an absence of a father's authority and discipline. Despite the women's effort, many of the male children become delinquent. For those with the presence of an involved father, the situation is mostly different. In fact, the threat of "I'll tell your father when he comes back" by your mother is enough to turn you straight. I am sure you yourself have heard the phrase " I go tell your papa" quite often. - It tends to open up the children to all forms of abuse by their peers and other members of the society. From physical abuse to bullying to sexual abuse etc. because most times, members of the society have no one to fear. - They tend to be very emotional and sensitive just like women. Take decisions with emotions and no logic. And to hide their sensitivity, they become unnecessarily aggressive. As we know, aggressiveness leads to delinquency which leads to a violent street attitude which then leads to a life of crime. - Crime; My God. That's the most significant effects. All of the factors I have listed contribute to it. Our streets, our schools can just turn upside down in the blink of an eye. I always had to wear "civilian clothes" under my school uniform just in case of trouble which could happen anytime. From Lagos to London where the teenage sons of these single mothers are stabbing each other to the US where "a child raised without a father is five times more likely to commit crime and be poor, nine-times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in jail or prison". The situation is the same. - As we all know, the absence of a father is the single most important cause of poverty. Too bad Nigeria doesn't have a statistics. *For the US, Children living in female-headed families with no spouse present have a poverty rate of 45.8 percent, over four times the rate of children in married-couple families (9.5 percent) 3 Likes |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Dc14(m): 8:08pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
Mille:hmm nice writeup but i really dnt agree with u on what u said. Can a single father raise better than a singlemother cause i think am lost,, |
Re: Growing Up As A Son Raise By Singlemother. How Has Life Be ? by Mille: 9:22pm On Jun 30, 2023 |
Dc14: Which of it don't you agree with? How many single fathers are there compared to single mothers raising a child into teenage years alone? It is very rare. Unless the man is really really poor. Most single fathers whether divorced, widowed or getting someone pregnant in their early years tend to marry or remarry sometimes in the child early years. The child they have custody of gets a mother figure in the woman their father later marries. The ones they don't have custody of end up getting raised by family members and single mothers. 1 Like |
Pls How Much Is Solar Fan? The Heat Is Killing Me / My Own Story / To All The Ciaos. La Cosa Nostra
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 133 |