I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Sincerely, my heart is troubled reading your message. Life is just full of sorrows.

Bro, if you have the resources please allow her to come in with her siblings, as the first born, she's just like mother to them.
There's lot of reward helping orphan.

Na responsibility go kill you. RIP in advance

So before impregnating her and planning on getting married

Who were the sisters staying with

Next is all the years of courtship, what was your discussion, I believed she would have given you a notice about what is too come but den love is blind, reality of the economy has opened your eyes


But then
Did you marry her and the sisters??
And what is the age group of the sisters??

If you are capable, get an accomodation for the sisters else where.

How can you agree to two of your wife's sisters living with you after wedding, together with your wife....?

This is marriage and not family meeting or reunion o..

By the way, Don't they have where they are presently staying...can't they remain there after the wedding?

For your wife-to-be to even utter that statement sef.....I doubt if she really likes you or your ability to "provide".

#My own thoughts sha...

If you have the means to Carter for all of them without financial stress , go ahead .

But if all you have can only care for your daughter and her mother, don't succumb to such ransom that she is holding you on.

Now that she doesn't live with you, where are her 4 siblings living? You can be part of your daughter's life without her living with you. I raised my son like that, paid and still paying his fees, upkeep, and many other things. He only comes for holidays once school is on vacation.

Your baby mama is selfish towards you, she only cares about her siblings even at your own expense. I detest women like that. She wants to sacrifice you for her siblings, that is wickedness

I know a nice guy in my area that relocated to village because of this same thing.

He has 2 kids with the wife.

The wife had a boy from her previous relationship.

The wife's two sisters also joined them in a small single room apartment.
He discussed with the wife severally. She didnt accept and she is has no job

He has been sleeping in his shop for more than 2 years without touching the wife.

All of them were feeding from his pocket.

No Savings.
He couldnt pay the shop rent. He recloted to the village and the wife refused paying him a visit til date.

You stil have the final say

madridguy:
Sincerely, my heart is troubled reading your message. Life is just full of sorrows.

Bro, if you have the resources please allow her to come in with her siblings, as the first born, she's just like mother to them.
There's lot of reward helping orphan.

How bout the lot of stress helping the Orphan will give him??. He said he can only afford to cater for two isn't you an advocate for the girl not satisfied?? Do you know the current cost of taking care of 4 people at the moment?? Then I'm sure she'll expect him to also buy them clothes. lets not even talk bout the disrespect that'd follow on the longer run

Tob456 A wise old man use to say "It is very easy to invite a mad man to your house with just a finger but pushing him away with 10fingers will be very difficult"

I'm going to be very honest with you. That girl is a very self centered person. She doesn't love you, she just trying to use you to give her siblings a better life.

For you to even suggest that 2 of her siblings can stay with you after marrying her and she rejected and insisted that it must be 4 should tell you the kind of person she is. She's even ok that you guys can go your separate ways if you're not ready to accommodate 4 of her siblings. Did you bother to ask her if she's ready to cater for the additional 2 she's advocating for? Is she expecting you to feed people you didn't plan for?

My brother, if you marry that girl, you'll suffer. She won't respect you, she would fight you constantly, she won't shift grounds to do anything for you, whatever decision that must stand in that marriage must come from her. Yours wouldn't even be considered. And worse of all, she and her siblings would abandon you after milking you dry.

My advice, let her be, you're not making any mistake, you're avoiding one. Catering for a wife, a daughter and 4 additional people in this era isn't funny. And if she isn't doing any reasonable job to back you up, believe me, you'll die before your time.

Ab025:
How can you agree to two of your wife's sisters living with you after wedding, together with your wife....?

This is marriage and not family meeting or reunion o..

By the way, Don't they have where they are presently staying...can't they remain there after the wedding?

For your wife-to-be to even utter that statement sef.....I doubt if she really likes you or your ability to "provide".

#My own thoughts sha...

Do you know the most annoying thing, I don't want to know how Angelic the girl might look or seem, she'll never agree to it if the siblings were to be from the Husband's side

But I doff my hat to any guy dating a girl with so many siblings sha. If your siblings pass 2 and ur family ain't rich enough, I ain't doing no Poverty Alleviating Relationship. I'm not marrying

co-parenting is your only salvation.

From the OP write up he's willing to abide the condition of his baby mama. Check his previous post concerning this issue. He can't let his daughter go and the condition for having his daughter is bringing additional five people.

Offpointng:


How bout the lot of stress helping thr Orphan will give him. He said he can only afford to cater for two isn't you an advocate for the girl not satisfied?? Do you know the current cost of taking care of 4 people at the moment?? Then I'm sure she'll expect him to also buy them clothes. lets not even talk bout the disrespect that'd follow on the longer run

Tob456 A wise old man use to say "It is very easy to invite a mad man to your house with just a finger but pushing him away with 10fingers will be very difficult"

Pierohandsome:


Your baby mama is selfish towards you, she only cares about her siblings even at your own expense. I detest women like that. She wants to sacrifice you for her siblings, that is wickedness

Very selfish, lackadaisical and inconsiderate and I hate women like that with passion. If the siblings were to come from the guy's side, I'm very sure she'd refuse in the strongest language

They'd probably be eating 1 Congo of rice ,1 Congo of beans or 5kg of semo at a go anytime they want to eat, then calculate twice or 3x daily, that's 80k or more every month. ehhh Oloun o

jaeyking:
So before impregnating her and planning on getting married

Who were the sisters staying with

Next is all the years of courtship, what was your discussion, I believed she would have given you a notice about what is too come but den love is blind, reality of the economy has opened your eyes


But then
Did you marry her and the sisters??
And what is the age group of the sisters??

If you are capable, get an accomodation for the sisters else where.

Who were the sisters staying with

Two were staying with her and the youngest two with her aunty. At the moment they are all staying together.


And what is the age group of the sisters??

They are underage 17,15, 13 and 11 years old.

Stand on ur word bros.

madridguy:
From the OP write up he's willing to abide the condition of his baby mama. Check his previous post concerning this issue. He can't let his daughter go and the condition for having his daughter is bringing additional five people.

Bro with a court order he can have custody of the child if he's ready to take her to custody or partial custody. And a proof is rendering evidences she doesn't have resources enough to cater for the child and most importantly the child's mental health especially staying amongst a family that's Nuclear but yet Extended

Bro, I don't think the OP will go this far because he only want his daughter and baby mama happy.

Offpointng:


Bro with a court order he can have custody of the child if he's ready to take her to custody or partial custody. And a proof is rendering evidences she doesn't have resources enough to cater for the child and most importantly the child's mental health especially staying amongst a family that's Nuclear but yet Extended

Another wahala that could have been avoided if you avoided fornication.

4 of her siblings?? Too much oo

Meaning you'll be feeding 6 mouths excluding you three times a Day in this present economy

No go area, but if you know you're capable, You Can go ahead which I won't advise you to do.

Go to court, collect your daughter and discard the self centered woman and bunch of liabilities

madridguy:
Bro, I don't think the OP will go this far because he only want his daughter and baby mama happy.

oga keep quiet if you don’t have anything reasonable to say…your comments on this matter sucks!

The load will be too much for u o


What type of job are u into?


Is your wife working?


The siblings are they working too?


The loads of ten persons don't put them on your head , u will die Sara .

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan she is the eldest of 7. We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements. She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad. Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night. I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers. For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding. I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision. What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter. Please help

There is no way you will be forced to carry those her siblings along with you after marriage, but then...

Whats your capacity, can you assist in supporting them from where you are, to wherever they will be

Am sure they are living some where and are feeding too

What kind of help do they need and how can you assist them

Both you and your baby mama should look into this issue

She is feeling for them and now it's affecting the parenting of your child

So find out what kind of help them need and how you guys can assist them together

You can as well pick the last two children

No one knows tomorrow

4 sisters just soon after marriage. I just couldn't stop laughing.

and she has even left you already.

eteebanky1:
4 of her siblings?? Too much oo

Meaning you'll be feeding 6 mouths excluding you three times a Day in this present economy

No go area, but if you know you're capable, You Can go ahead which I won't advise you to do.

Go to court, collect your daughter and discard the self centered woman and bunch of liabilities

Go to court to do what with a seven months baby

Who will give him the child 😕😕

Africans...especially Nigerians una go see wahala na so una jump inside.

I have three children and I am financially stable,I know what it takes to care for them all,u wey come dey sound like this want to care for four adults.

See u,see canal.

It is good to pity but can u cope?

People go just dey born children dey go without thinking of "what is if I die or permanently incapacitated by sickness, how will my young children survive"?

She has so many baggage which should not be your primary obligation, you can have two of her youngest siblings live with you both and get her to have both her paternal and maternal sides support in accommodating others while she sends something to them regularly.

The two of you are not serious. You see Seven orphans with the eldest sister just being a little bit off age and instead of you supporting them from afar Or seeing how you can help them grow up to some level of independence, you decided to reason with your waist for what ever reason you thought was best. Then after the thing has boomeranged, you are now saying she should discard other siblings. Na So e take easy to discard siblings because of man? You don't have money, you went to impregnate an orphan with 6 sisters. Now you have added an infant to their predicament.

Then that your baby mama needs serious beating because with their condition, "man" should be the last thing on her mind. How she got pregnant for a man who is not her husband with the hope that he will take her and her sisters into his house after marriage is pure madness.

Oga stay away from those kids let them find their life abeg. If your daughter is the problem, please take her away and take care of her yourself. Leave them alone. People should learn to stop adding drama to people's drama.

This is not about you being a simp or whatever. This is about you not being able to see that what those girls need is someone to guide then through life. Just let them be. Na beg i dey beg you.

Truly it won't be easy but if it can be possible for you to rent another house for them and also if they are matured enough to get a job too, so they can always support themselves.


A family of 4 are finding it difficult to feed in this economy, talk more of a family with plenty adults.
It is well
May God see you through.

Tob456:




Who were the sisters staying with

Two were staying with her and the youngest two with her aunty. At the moment they are all staying together.


And what is the age group of the sisters??

They are underage 17,15, 13 and 11 years old.

This one choke ooo
For this economy

Feeding how many people

Na wa oo

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan she is the eldest of 7. We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements. She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad. Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night. I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers. For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding. I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision. What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter. Please help

I didn’t read your post tbh but I’m certain you’ll definitely regret it

They will just kill you and keep you stagnant for nothing. proper feeding of yourself and your wife a week ,cost nothing less than 10k. Imagine adding extra 4 grown up adults. Baby expenses is skyrocketing.
Saddly people never appreciate in the nearest future, you like house all of them. Tomorrow your brokenness will be discussed in the open.
Little wonder the Rich have nothing to do with the Poor, not even when it comes to marriage.

Does she work