The number one reason poor or struggling guys in Nigeria remain poor or become poorer is because they marry anyhow, mostly out of pity and emotion claiming its love.



When making critical life decisions like marriage, you must take pity out of it.



Royal families that have all the wealth to carry any amount of load will never allow their Prince or sons to marry into poor family or ordinary family, but poor guys born into poor families will cheerfully go and marry poorer girls born into poorer family and hoping on luck to shine on them to survive the tsunami they started in the name of love. This is why we have too many poor families and hundreds of millions of poor Nigerians today.



As a struggling young man, when you want to marry, marry a help mate, marry a lady doing something that will support you financially. Marriage decisions are not made based on big breast, big buttocks and hot pussy alone, you must consider the financial future and implications. Marry a help mate not a baggage because both of you will end up crashing. At the end, both of you end up not helping the other's situation but rather complicated it. That is why in Igbo dialect, there is an adage that says: "onye akwo n'azu anaghi akwo onye ozo", meaning someone that is being backed cannot back another person or someone that is being carried cannot carry another person. Don't try to save a poor girl out of pity through marriage when you as a guy is still looking for who to help you or how to come out of your own financial and life mess. Always use your wisdom in this life if not, you will end up at the bottom of the ladder of life struggling to survive.





You guys will see mature ladies that are gainfully employed, that will support you in marriage and you will abandon them in the name of she is an evening newspaper and you go and marry small girls that have no financial or career or skill bearing and tomorrow when things become difficult for you guys, you now carry the wahala to Church to disturb God that gave you wisdom and common sense to use to maneuver through life.



Go and read the book of Proverbs on how Bible described a wife, that should give most of you an idea of the kind of ladies to marry.



And to every single lady reading this, try and equip yourself for marriage, get a skill learn a trade, take away pride and learn something and also get a small job and save. Prepare for marriage, don't wait until you marry a rich guy, rich guys are scarce now and the competition to get them is very high. Prepare your mind to support any man you would be getting married to.



To all men reading, help your daughters, sisters, nieces and cousins to have something doing in preparation for marriage. Don't let your single female wards to be empty without any skill or career or something to go into marriage please

I think you should discuss the sister in laws economic cobtribution with the wife upfront. For instance, how they each will contribute to their own upkeep while living with you. Whether to start a family business that they oversee or find one job or the other for them. That way, you all will live together in harmony. If there is no arrangement about how they contribute, you guys wont last a year!

Imagine, their parents had 7 kids! It is well.

sisisioge:
I think you should discuss the sister in laws economic cobtribution with the wife upfront. For instance, how they each will contribute to their own upkeep while living with you. Whether to start a family business that they oversee or find one job or the other for them. That way, you all will live together in harmony. If their is no arrangement about how they contribute, you guys wont last a year!

Imagine, their parents had 7 kids! It us well.

They are kids lol.

Probably the girl herself would be very young too. OP come and tell us how old your baby mother is.

cococandy:


They are kids lol.

Probably the girl herself would be very young too. OP come and tell us how old your baby mother is.

Wahala be like bicycle for OP then. Where does he want her to leave her kid sisters?

sisisioge:


Wahala be like bicycle for OP then. Where does he want her to leave her kid sisters?

Two with them and two with their aunt. (Where are the other two?)

Anyway I’m suspecting the aunt is probably tired of supporting them as well. Wahala really be like bicycle

Davidave:
Na responsibility go kill you. RIP in advance

Take this from me, you’ll die of hbp if you accommodate them . See wait wait, shey u think say na beans to Dey feed 7 people everyday
Atleast you need spend 20k per day to cater for them in this economy , when you’re not a politician, that’s 900k on basic needs alone o, even if you have the financial means now, at some point, you’ll get tired and die before your time.


I’m sorry to say, you have to choose between your peace of mind and endless stress.

OP is entirely at fault. If he had used a condom, this would not have happened. I dread ladies who have many siblings. I really do. Once e pass two, and you are the first, I withdraw my interest. I don't like being responsible for another man's ir(responsibility). I wasn't trained that way.

The deed has been done. When I advise against baby-mama, e get why. When I say use condom, e get why. She will be too stubborn to allow you both to stay together and will brainwash the child that you are behind her suffering. The pikin con be girl sef.

Hold your preek, una no go hear word.

Conditional marriage don't last!

And these are just children, sorry OP for your dilemma in this kind economy. It is well.

The sister too won't want to leave the children out without her care, even the Aunty will already be tired supporting them.

You are not wrong, your wife is also not wrong.


I feel for those kids.

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan she is the eldest of 7. We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements. She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad. Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night. I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers. For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding. I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision. What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter. Please help

For your daughter's sake, take her away from that environment.

Go to court. Or you take the law into your own hands and use a squad of soldiers to retrieve your kid.

That woman will wreck you. The red flag when she dey wave so, I assure you say astronauts for the International Space Station dey see am. How are you entertaining the idea of living the rest of life with a woman who's using your child as ransom? Na jazz! Read the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog. You're the frog.

All of the money you'd spend on taking care of your ex's sibs should be expended on your kid. Hire a nanny, au pair, or governess. Let the kid spend weekends with a responsible family member or deacon. Send her to a Catholic school. Get her a godmother.

In high school, two friends didn't live with their mothers. One's father was a State HOA member, the other's pop was an expat. Dem chop life then, dem still dey chop life till now. Upper class men know when to discard women who'd make their life difficult and focus on their kids.

Dangote wife no dey with am. Him female pikin (Halima) nai go take over. She's being groomed. Adenuga female pikin (Bella) na still heir apparent. Na him first wife born am.

No go arrange load wen u no fit carry. 4 siblings plus your pikin and her and yourself. Family of 7. And you just start life. Ogbeni, pity yourself.

The axiom, two wrongs do not make a right, na for this your situation. No say because you make mistake give wrong person belle, kon say you 1 double down put am for house. Na your village people dey call you so, no pick abeg.

-Lord

[quote author=austine4real post=124215684]The load will be too much for u o


What type of job are u into?

I am a computer and phone technician


Is your wife working?

Yes she is a fruit seller




The siblings are they working too?


No. they are underage

So, love is truly blind!

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan she is the eldest of 7. We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements. She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad. Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night. I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers. For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding. I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision. What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter. Please help

If you marry that girl, you will suffer eh, even Satan would begin to pity you.

This I have seen.

I do find it strange though that some male folks are advising the OP to collect his 7 month old daughter from the mom.

Can he take care of a 7 month old child, who would want to separate a 7 month old from the mum except Nlders, it's not like she's not fit or something he is only complaining about the environment which seems to be as a result of poverty and actually it's no fault of hers.

You guys think a court will give custody of a baby to the man on the account that she's living in a poor environment?

If he's not comfortable with where his baby is living he can change that.

Go visiting and use style to carry your baby.
Women do that alot so nothing bad in doing the same.
Just be ready to drag it with her and have evidence in the police station.
I can imagine how malnourished she'll be. Dirty environment and sub standard school

A bullet miss you and you're still complaining.

[quote author=Tob456 post=124223602][/quote]

It will be somehow difficult to feed many mouths


Good luck bro

May God be with you

You're not doing the wrong thing.

Housing, feeding and catering for yourself,wife,kid and four extra mouths will leave you a drained and frustrated man.

Unfortunately, that your Baby mama doesn't love you enough to be considerate.
They've been surviving before you knew them.
They are still surviving now without living in your house

No go do pass yourself!!!

Phew its a tough one

If you have the capacity you can go ahead its actually the right thing to do. Like i said if you have the CAPACITY!

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

You shouldn’t have allowed 1 , now u have to negotiate 4

Bukata reloaded!

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Doom
It’ll draw you close to the grave if you proceed, a lot of men with less responsibility died talk less of you

If you have the resources please help them, orphans prayers don't go unnoticed in the eye of God, My wife is an orphan i took her like my blood sister i can tell you that after Almighty God what i am today is largely to the blessing from her, she prays and wish me well every morning before leaving the house, i was in one level for six years, after my marriage to her, i got 4 promotions consecutively. So my brother help and i encourage you to do it with one heart, you will see your life in the next few years

Bring all of them in and start banging them. By the time she knows, no one will tell her to chase all of them out.

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

Stand your ground broooo, accept such nonsense means you will be feeding 6 people including yourself making it 7...

They will drain you financially.

Cooked.
All for the comment

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

She's the one marrying you, not you marrying to her, that is what am seeing here.Do what pleases you,if she can't get another woman thousand of girls are the in the streets wetin for your proposal.

Tob456:
I have a 7 months old daughter her mother is an orphan, she is the eldest of 7.

We broke up when she was pregnant because we had a disagreement about her siblings living arrangements.

She wanted her 4 sisters to stay with us after the wedding and I only two of them to stay with us. The problem is seeing my daughter growing in a bad environment away from me makes me feel so bad.

Whenever I visit her I feel so bad leaving her behind that I don't sleep well thinking about her all night.

I also doesn't like the idea of having kids with different mothers.

For my daughter's sake I want to get back with her mother for us to raise her together in the same house. But getting back with her means that I should also allow her 4 siblings to stay with us after the wedding.

I am doing this for my daughter's sake but I don't know if I am making a wise decision.

What do you guys think should I get back with her or forget about her and concentrate only on my daughter.

Please help

oga use your head. Are you financially stable now ? Can you take care of four extra lions in a house ? Be very careful what you want to get into and that your wife should also be very careful. How can you do this to yourself at such a young age ? If you feel you can handle this load in today's Nigeria then no problem. If you calculate your finances and after necessary deductions ie SAVINGS, tithe, rent etc you can cope with their maintenance then no problem. Na you know where the shoe dey pinch you

4ward4:
They will just kill you and keep you stagnant for nothing. proper feeding of yourself and your wife a week ,cost nothing less than 10k. Imagine adding extra 4 grown up adults. Baby expenses is skyrocketing.
Saddly people never appreciate in the nearest future, you like house all of them. Tomorrow your brokenness will be discussed in the open.
Little wonder the Rich have nothing to do with the Poor, not even when it comes to marriage.

bro, 10k is too small for a a man and his pregnant wife o... As a single guy I spend 12k per week, based on 2 square meal time table... Bro, seriously the op is a confirm mumu, if he's struggling and continue this way, he will die poor...