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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It (36114 Views)
Am I Doing Bad As A Father And Husband / Is It Wrong Or I Am Over Reacting / My Sister Cancels Her Wedding. Is She Doing The Right Thing? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by frankyychiji(f): 9:58pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
emy9:Chase them all out with pregnancy. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by frankyychiji(f): 10:00pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
4ward4:Haa.. you need to edit your post to reflect these details. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Blackdisciple(m): 10:03pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
Hmmm ... So the four of them can't talk and get something doing to raise money and rent an apartment for themselves Kaiii |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Afolue(m): 10:07pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
Are you going to be feeding them as well.? |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Eyanbahose: 10:17pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
emmeyen:that guy tob456 isn't smart. I'msure he understood the entire situation and the living conditions yet he just decided t foolish himself. Like you rightly mentioned, he could have helped from afar so they can be independent but just look at wahala. 7 siblings!!!! The lord is his strength is I no get advice for mumu people. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Banbanna(m): 10:18pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
This kind of situation is so pathetic, tbh. Some of us Africans live with the belief that having as much children is a show of achievement and fruitfulness. And there's this common belief amongst Christians that if God can provide for the birds in the sky, he'd do even more for us his children. So they just go about bringing children into the world without proper planning & solid means of securing their future. Zupay: |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by frozen70(f): 10:22pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
rainlover: Since you have comprehension problem Why not stop commenting on posts that you read and don't understand |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by cococandy(f): 10:53pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
frankyychiji: I just went to his other thread it seems like she’s in her 20s. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by cyrusmillz: 11:04pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
Justkatty: Let's stop being emotional and try to be logical for once. If he's capable to rent an apartment for them, I'm sure he would have done that. The man doesn't owe the sisters anything and he shouldn't be emotionally blackmailed to renting an apartment for anyone. Anything he does should be a plus and at his convenience, let's try to be considerate when giving advice abeg , 4 girls + wife + baby + himself hahan |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by grandstar(m): 11:14pm On Jul 05, 2023 |
Pierohandsome: The root of the problem here is this having a child out of wedlock. If there was no child, this issue won't have arisen. His baby mama does not want to abandon her siblings. If she insisted they would come stay with her after the wedding, he could have said no and walked out of the relationship Now he's between the devil and the deep blue sea. Providing her sustenance isn't the problem but her growing up in a bad environment. This can pollute her and she'll grow up to be a delinquent. I feel he should take his baby mama's siblings in If that's the price he has to pay if he wants his child to have a proper upbringing. God will reward his generosity. He should be rest assured of that (Read Proverbs 19:17) Cc: Tob456 |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by sexy74(m): 12:31am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Tob456:Person go born dey leave wahala got in-law. Remember you have a family to raise, all you can do is help them not bore all their problems. You tried to accommodate 2. If she does not agree leave them to their fate and tell the mother of your baby the consequence of what she is sticking to |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Caseless: 2:51am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Pierohandsome:you misunderstood the woman in this situation. She's an orphan and firstborn of 7. Where is she being selfish? |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by MrFly(m): 6:12am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Expect her whole lineage to join u after wedding |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by frankyychiji(f): 6:22am On Jul 06, 2023 |
cococandy:One francofficia comment on the second page captured all the sides. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by emy9(m): 6:24am On Jul 06, 2023 |
frankyychiji: Exactly. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by emy9(m): 6:26am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Pque: At least he doesn't get to take care of any of them from prison. They'll be forced to tend for themselves. Bang the hell outta them if she insists they have to stay with him. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Justkatty(f): 7:10am On Jul 06, 2023 |
cyrusmillz:Sir that was why I used the word"if" |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Pierohandsome: 7:20am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Caseless:And so what, how does living with her own husband translates to abandoning them? Ok now she isn't living with him, where are the siblings living? Then he should sacrifice his own future for her and her siblings because he wants to marry? Are they the only orphans in this world? |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Pierohandsome: 7:24am On Jul 06, 2023 |
grandstar:how does having child out of wedlock the problem? So anybody who has a child out of wedlock must bring in the whole family and village elders into his house as a compensation? How are we raising our own children out of wedlock without problem that his own suddenly becomes a problem. Anything can be a problem with a selfish , and narcissist being 1 Like |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by MrOreo(m): 7:35am On Jul 06, 2023 |
franchasofficia:So much wisdom in this... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Tobest94: 8:21am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Bros you’re not serious at all. You told your would be wife that you can only accommodate two of her sisters, with this you’ve done more than enough cos normally as a young couple just getting married, you need privacy for at least two years but she gave you condition of letting 4 of her sisters stay with you. So you’re going to be the wife and she’ll be your husband. Congrats sha |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Nobody: 8:47am On Jul 06, 2023 |
It's not funny taking care of your family, talk more of extra additions in this down spiralling economy. The wife is already loyal to her siblings...Her husband is the lowest priority on her list...The husband is definitely going to feel lonely and used. Best way out is for the husband to keep on sending moderate cash to his daughter and wife, as they're already separated...The wife should try to hustle with business or monthly salary work. After many months from now without any headway for reconciliation, the man should search for a future wife without any baggages. This life is too short for one to keep on sobering. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Waist: 10:09am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Ab025: This is a two Way's thing's, if you have the resources which I believed she is aware of, why can't you allow them. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by IbitsonReloaded(m): 11:05am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Don't marry her with any condition aside bringing only your daughter with her. You will regret it if you allow even one talk more of 4. A word is enough... |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by jmichael259(m): 11:54am On Jul 06, 2023 |
Tob456: No problems then if, the lady and her aunt/relatives will be catering for the Siblings; Peaceable option: They all not permanently in your place 24/7. 13 and 11 to boarding school. 17 can find a job. 17 and 15 should be learning a skill. Any One of them can be rotating from the aunt's place. Petty option: Inform and bring in any number of your own siblings/cousins too. Hell option: Go and live in your own family house if it is close by. Save yourself costs and allow the heat of natural selection to do the job for you. It's either they're gone away from you completely or they're going into your neighbours/relatives households as in-laws. You can still play the games women play by accepting to what she says to go into marriage and bring in your child then give them hell out of your abode within or after a year. In all you do, the key point is to ensure you are not exhausting yourself to cater for them. They can stay close to their sister, join her in business etc but not dependent on you for their welfare. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Wiinnd(m): 2:59pm On Jul 06, 2023 |
Kooldon: Nice guys finish last 1 Like |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Karnice600: 6:35pm On Jul 06, 2023 |
Tob456:Listen, if for the sake of your little girl alone you'll want to get back under the same roof with her mom, then know that you aren't ready to kill this turbulence once and for all. Your daughter wasn't in the picture before you got her preggy but her siblings were there. She told you. You saw the signs and still went ahead with the marriage. Fallen out of love with her? Well sorry, you may have to fall back in. You're thinking about your daughter, while your wife is nobody's daughter. Dey play. You can call me a religious maniac, but you see that orphan lady? If she cries up to her creator because of you, you go think say village people don open your file. Better get her to sit down, bury your ego and re negotiate your realities together, rather than try to poltiticise it. Kill this selfishness bro and face the situation you created, cos God is watching. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Karnice600: 6:52pm On Jul 06, 2023 |
OZIOGU1:God bless you for this boss. Him no know whether that is his millionaire test. My own be say he saw the situation and still went ahead with the union. Now he's talking about his daughter. That degree of selfishness stinks to the highest heavens. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Oluchia(f): 12:35pm On Jul 07, 2023 |
See as people dey dish advise anyhow while some are already abusing the girl. Anyway, I blame the OP for not including the information about the wife's siblings' ages in his original post. THEY ARE ALL CHILDREN for God's sake, the oldest is 17 yrs according to him, so leaving them behind or asking that they should work is ridiculous. It is definitely a sad and tough situation; no responsible elder sister would want to leave her underaged siblings out there on their own. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Henrypraise: 2:08pm On Jul 10, 2023 |
Tob456: What are the ages of the siblings? What promises did you make to her when you were gisting her? Reflect on those promises and act accordingly. Although she is being manipulative and she is currently on self destruct mode just to punish you, but I am sure it's based off the promises you made to her and the expectations you created in her. |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by Henrypraise: 2:18pm On Jul 10, 2023 |
Oluchia: Nigeria is already in a tough situation, men are saddled with so much responsibility within a terrible economy and the loyalty of women is not guaranteed, don't blame people talking harshly it's the economic reality. However with proper planning he can make them useful, open up a laundry shop and let the elder ones work in it whilst the younger ones go to school from the proceeds of all their combined earnings. He can be going out for his daily hustles and gradually he could build something good in and out of the whole situation... |
Re: Am I Doing The Right Thing Or I Will Regret It by cyrusmillz: 8:54pm On Jul 12, 2023 |
OZIOGU1: I don't think you read his story well oh , The wife wants him to house her 4 sisters + new born baby + wife + him ..... how do you expect all of them to feed daily in this period that we are |
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