Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by LofP(m): 12:52pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
You guys were not fair to him. YOUR father had plenty people coming to the wedding. YOUR father demanded he must pay everything once. Your father said they would provide this and that.... So he married your family and not you isn't it? The problem is not the finances, it is the lack of understanding. No pity for the new marriage rather a very big focus on the wedding. Do you know how stressful it is to be into or sell insurance in Nigeria? You just made the guy realise he has added suffering to his life. "igbeya-wo" ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 12 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Negroid001(m): 12:59pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Jazmine10: It's apparent the man is resentful. She has to win him over oh. If she come add bad character join oti pari. Marriage is for mature folks really. Some people focus on wedding trying to impress some folks wey go even tie broomstick inside gift pack for dem com dey disturb pastor upandan rather than focus on the marriage and building a home. I ain't doing any loud wedding. I want something simple with just family and 1 or 2 friends. Court wedding don do sef. The woman caused all this. The man didn't need all the pressure. Let's pray he doesn't resent her now. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by worldclass68(m): 1:03pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
"If he truly loves u, he would do everything"
I hate that words with passion... such a manipulative word...
perhaps he realizes everything isn't that worth the hype.... 30 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Nobody: 1:05pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Negroid001:
I ain't doing any loud wedding. I want something simple with just family and 1 or 2 friends. Court wedding don do sef. The woman caused all this. The man didn't need all the pressure. Let's pray he doesn't resent her now. As in... Like the pressure to show off, i don arrive. Even if i have all the money in the world i'd rather a private and intimate ceremony that will be a good memory indeed... My wedding i go elope do destination wedding after dem pay bride price for my Papa Parlour. I got no time for nonsense and fake friends start to dey do midnight prayer. 5 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Negroid001(m): 1:09pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Jazmine10: As in... Like the pressure to show off, i don arrive. Even if i have all the money in the world i'd rather a private and intimate ceremony that will be a good memory indeed... My wedding i go elope do destination wedding after dem pay bride price for my Papa Parlour. I got no time for nonsense and fake friends start to dey do midnight prayer. Swears. E go pain some of my friends and family ooo. But make dem no vex. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Nobody: 1:15pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Negroid001:
Swears. E go pain some of my friends and family ooo. But make dem no vex. ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) . That's why i wan elope say "ooh, it just happened". |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by MrsTwrite(f): 1:42pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
I'm feeling for him, he must have taken loan to make you happy, try and give him some space, do what will make him happy, and not sad, it's too early for all these Wahala. 1 Like |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Freelancerr(m): 1:44pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
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Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by OgwuEgo: 1:44pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
He thought you were a virgin but he was disappointed on the wedding night. 8 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by sotall(m): 1:44pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. Seriously you are not a wife! Your husband just married a girlfriend for a wife. So you had this mentality of " if he cherishes you, he should go and find money even if to steal, and please your father" and he still went ahead to marry you. You knew his finances and yet didn't ask how he was able to do it? Your father just sold you to him and right now you aren't different from one of his properties like TV or Chairs he has at home. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by nautybride: 1:45pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore. I'm After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. You didn't know he took a loan to clear up! You're selfish. 150k in this economy and you are saying he isn't doing bad. Since you have gotten married, I hope you have been helping with the bills and not the mentality of he is doing well na! If you want to save this marriage, hug your man, go on your knees and beg him. Help him offset some of the bills though you didn't push him to loan but your family did. 12 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Waist: 1:46pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
I
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. If you go listen, if you go listen. Woman you fu"ked up, seriously your man try oh, if na me till I pay that loan finished before no you no marriage peace, haba, now you are pretending as if you the angel. Just go on your knees and beg him and see how the two of you could work together and pay the loan, just look for a way out of the loan.
3 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Abagworo(m): 1:46pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
If not for the loans you could have lived okay with the 150k but with the loan wahala dey. Your hubby is really going through a lot now and needs your support to avoid going into depression. 2 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Savedday2: 1:46pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
What evening newspaper need is vibrators not a child or marriage. Look at what this one is putting his husband through!
All 9ja guys should avoid any evening newspaper. If your husband had avoided you he wouldn't have slide into depression.
I deeply sorry for guys marrying our girls!
E no go better for any evening newspaper wey go try to near where I dey 7 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by bigdammyj: 1:47pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Okay. Ehinjuola: During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed. Your dad could have made provision to entertain his guest since he knew he has large invitee rather than putting the burden on the poor guy all in the name of wanting to marry you. But las las, I blame the guy for going above his means to satisfy you and your (greedy) dad. 11 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Calitoscassius(m): 1:47pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Fantastic news!! You are about to be liberated from the shackles of self inflicted very expensive paid for by you knot tied around your neck you should be happy man!! Start celebratinggg! Jeeeez! How marriage epp?. |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Zxcvbnmghtr: 1:47pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: in fact, it started on the wedding night
![wink](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/wink.png) Did you lie to him that you are a virgin? This is a mistake we women make. I mean some of us. Such disappointment causes alot of resentment from the husband who has spent so much. 6 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Connected1: 1:48pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Sorry to say, but you no get SENSE, common sense you no get.
150k salary and he had to buy a cow and rent a big hall just to suit your Father's overinflated ego, that young man is going through hell in that marriage 😓, you couldn't stand your ground and tell your Father to reduce the bills or tell your mother to help you persuade your Father but you guys wanted to milk him dry, probably want to see his corpse.
He should have married a wise woman but I guess we all don't know our luck in life.
If I was the one I will leave you to marry your Father on that day. 7 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by AmotekunSW: 1:48pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Foolish daughter and stupid father. He should have dumped you on the wedding day let your father marry you. Nonsense.
It is always poor people who expect things they can't do for themselves. After all the demands of your idiot of a father, it is only 50k you could drop.
I blame the guy for deciding to marry into a poor family. 21 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by fastseo: 1:48pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice this words of yours seems too entitled. why will u say that. you should have talked to ur parents and even at that act as if u are on his side. he should buy cow ![](/faces/huh.png) are u a virgin? he should rent big hall.... the way I see it it will be Hall of 300 to 400k? he should do this n that? like play like play millions don drain down your parents just want to show off without taking into consideration about the happiness of their daughter. If they wanted elaborate wedding then they should have assisted him. after paying everything on trad... still on wedding ur dad Insist on cow.. of almost 300k for someone earning meagre 150k una well don 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Sharpsharp00123: 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. if I were to b your husband I will do more than that The guy went through hell to get u n u think he will value u right? Do u know if the guy is still servicing loan? Do u care to know where he got those money from? Probably maybe he has to sacrifice his integrity to get those money, madam if na me I no go entertain any member of your family in my house After all I don buy their daughter finish 4 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by kestolove95(m): 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Your parents are wicked, they just loot this guy .. 4 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Nikeruka(m): 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. You ladies are the problems. You will look on while your family puts a lot of burden on a young man. I blame him, he could have walked away . I promise myself never to borrow money for any ceremony 6 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by meobizy(f): 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
My husband is not the same man I fell in love with. He is. If e crash, e crash. O ti mbe. There are many divorcees and widows in the society. They haven’t died. 1 Like |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Angelfrost(m): 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
See ehn... Most men in this nation will confess to anyone who is deeply close to them that most of their life miseries began the day they chose to get hitched.
For starters, why would any man even borrow and exhaust his savings on a wedding ceremony or marriage rites??! Yes ma, it is EXTORTION! Plain and simple.
I have it on record that the animosity and gulf between most married men and their in-laws begin at the wedding preparations, and never improve long into their marriages. 20 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by iLoveYouToo(m): 1:49pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
OP is a child <a baby> —She seems like the type of woman that wants to win every argument.
All the young man wanted was for you to be on his side. Even after marriage you’re still on your dad’s side, that speaks volumes about the woman you’re growing to become. You’re selfish
This is my opinion and I may be wrong. #peace 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by donfemo(m): 1:50pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
You will rather you and your husband start life with debt because your parents want an elaborate wedding and because it’s paid only once not twice like you kept saying. Now the man is in debt and not happy the home is not what you want it to be. You’re not a supportive wife and from your write up care more about your parent and what people will say. Marriage is over and all the money spent gone but your husband may be paying for a few years, that’s why he’s not happy. Enjoy your home as it is now because you laid the bed! 11 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Greystone: 1:50pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
jackcanfield:
Stop stressing yourself he is thinking about how to offset the loan .. the best you can do is to find an extra means of income to support him ... As for the word extortion, well it's the way he felt, because he has been ask to extract water from stone and you didn't ask him how he did it initially ... don't blame him ..just calm down She didn’t ask how he was able to get the money to do everything because she seems to not really care about her husband. OP, @ Ehinjuola if it was you, how wud you feel? Would you be a happy husband considering everything your husband has been put through? 7 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by sylve11: 1:50pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
donbachi: If buying a cow and renting a hall for show off is a good thing....tell your parents to mark their own marriage anniversary and do same. 😆 🤣 😂 😹 ![cool](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cool.png) 7 Likes |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by PapaFejiro: 1:51pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
He will eventually come around, now you must be prepared and dont run out of patience because it might take a while. Just be as cooperative as possible, that means playing your role in the union. When he gets tired (so to speak) he will loosen up. Ehinjuola: My husband is not the same man I fell in love with.
My husband changed totally after wedding day, in fact, it started on the wedding night and its giving me a lot of concern.
It's not that he is not talking to me or we are fighting, but he is not the cheerful happy person anymore.
After months of trying to get what the problem is, he finally opened up to me and I don't know what my fault is, I think he is overreacting.
My husband works in an insurance company and he is just a junior staff, he earns 150k per month, so he is not doing that bad.
When we wanted to get married, my dad wrote the wedding list and everything he would bring, when he saw them, he fumed that they were too much and they should reduce it but my dad insisted that he won't collect it twice, I also told him if he really loves me, he would provide them, he could get help from his family too, it is called bride price and other things, and it is once.
We had little issue then but he later resolved it.
He brought everything they ask him for
During the wedding, my parents told him to buy a cow, rent a hall and decorate it then they'll take care of other things. He said he didn't have money for a big hall and he would prefer a field ground but my dad insisted that rain could disrupt things and he has many people coming.
That almost cause issues too, I had to support him with 50k to get the hall because I know who my dad is, he won't back out.
I didn't know how he did it, he took the hall and designed it, he bought cow too.
His family brought food and everything went fine and that was it.
I don't know what was keeping him moody until he spoke up.
He said I couldn't fight for him, I was there supporting my parents and watch them extorting him, did I even know he had to collect loan to pay for those things?
I got angry because he used the word 'extorting'.
He was the one that wanted to have my hand in marriage and if he cherish me, he should do all they wanted since he is not paying twice.
After I said this, he stopped talking in the house, he comes home, eat and go to bed.
I tried talking to him but he would listen but not talk, he is cold to himself and prefer his privacy.
Have I said something wrong?
I don't like whats happening. My marriage is too young to be going through all these.
I am tired, I don't know what to do. |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by Hungerbadoo: 1:51pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
[quote author=Brandiebird post=124987176]
Nairaland, the home of mad people |
Re: New Marriage About To Crash. by BENEAMATA: 1:52pm On Aug 09, 2023 |
When una dey do the wedding , who una invite ? To deny me Party jollof rice dey pain me sha ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 3 Likes |