Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Ernesthugo(m): 3:41pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
YOU WANT TO MARRY HER ![tongue](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/tongue.png) becareful what u wish kunle75:
Am asking because I can help |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Btruth: 3:43pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Ofemmanu1: Eh?!
Run to Niger! can't you be serious for once nii? 🤷 |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by deavicky(m): 3:44pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
Nlfpmod front page please
Thanks
I don't understand the divorce part?. Where is the divorce coming from when he has not marry u?. I |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by AMI3(m): 3:44pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: he has been like this right from the beginning. I’m not perfect too but I know I’m not too bad Well, what I see there is that he doesn't have money. If he has money his attitude may be tolerated |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by kunle75(m): 3:46pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
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Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Allisgud: 3:46pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: I forgot to even mention this in addition to all his problems, It’s not even like he had a lot of money. I felt that was the only option for him as he didn’t have his documents at the time when we met, so he couldn’t work. I was just too naive. can I have ur watsap no |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Evidenx(m): 3:52pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
Nlfpmod front page please
Thanks
WITH ALL SINCERITY AND HONESTLY I TELL YOU THIS: You are not married untill your bride price is paid,even if you have 20 kids for the man,you both are fornication partners. My advice to you,leave this toxic fornication partnership that you are in, because you are not in a healthy relationship or marriage. You still have enough time, having a son will not stop you from finding true love. I don't know you personally but I love you as a human being and I don't want you to be lonely or commit suicide out of frustration. If you want to talk further follow me and send me an email. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Hezzyluv: 3:52pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Puss360: Wahala.. if all these are present, then what actually attracted you to him?? I'm very sure it's not money... Is it sex?? What exactly?
Just file for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences.... Rent a small apartment, and go with the child... Move on... Don't involve his family or your family...as the case is, you don't need dialogue, you don't need "To exercise patience", you need space!!! Move on... He can come visit his kid... But you move on... There are other men out there who are better than him in everything including the Sex aspect... Check well ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Case Dismissed... Next Case Please... @Bold, No be person u married to u go file for divorce?? 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Ernesthugo(m): 3:59pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
I Will tell u a quick story all this abroad Nigeria girls many have deep rooted problem that makes them unstable, a clear true story of one i know in Canada have visited MFM PRAYER CITY more than someone in Nigeria, she has a real life spirit husband that will slap the man that comes to her so most times these things happen they have no idea they are dealing with something more super naturals, the truth was later opened ,the babe stepmom did some enchantment on her to make her loose hatred for her own father, in other words for the man to love her own children more, may we not inherit what we do not know, AMEN. kunle75:
Marry bawo,which calamity be this keh,I want to console her ni,lol ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Sk5050: 4:10pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
A man who still drinks to stupor at his late 30's and a gambler hmmm sister run oh that guy has no vision for himself that's why he can't settle for any career. Your sanity is important to you and the child, leave that cohabitating relationship it's heading no were. Soon he will start blaming you for the misfortunes he brought upon himself. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Blazebond(m): 4:14pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
You have already made very valid points that shows that you are not supposed to be in that union so why are you still there? Leave the union and begin to experience your happiness with your child. 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by fyzaila: 4:26pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
omooba969:
What if I pay her, can I ride her? ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Not that kind of price i mean. I am referring to bride price/dowry |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Antell95(m): 4:26pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: I don’t think so. I think I can’t believe that I’ve reduced myself like this. It bothers me a lot.. I am very sure you still harbor thoughts of giving him more chances, hoping things will change. BETTER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Send a DM |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by fyzaila: 4:28pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Ruke1989: she is not in Nigeria where you find lots of simps. She lives abroad. You can't comprehend the whole situation using your Nigerian mentality. A Nigerian woman stop loving her husband once she earns more. White men are not interested in throwing their money on every woman just to access a vagina the way Nigerian men do. So you need to live outside this country before you can counsel someone out there on marriage issues. You can't comprehend the issue using Nigerian mentality Which Nigerian mentality am i using? Is it telling her to embrace herself and move on or have it in mind that someone responsible is out there for her? Is the op a white woman? Did she tell you her husband is a white? |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by fyzaila: 4:35pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
neonly:
In as much as I sympathize with d OP but der is always two side of d coin And what makes you think the child belong to d mother alone as if the child is a sculpture made by d woman alone That yur comment is very irritating After all d woman is the only visitor in d house why should she steal a man property with his concert that she should go with d child if that what best for d child Read my comment again and highlight where i said she should steal the man's property. Didn't you read where she says the man is irresponsible, deadbeat and drinks alot? Can such a person bring up a child? My advice is just for her to move on and stop expecting the man to change. Since she is tired of cohabiting with him and he isn't ready to marry her legitimately, why can't she find her square root. Taking the child with her has to be done under court rulings ofcourse. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by ofomilad(m): 4:48pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Reach out with matured married woman with good marital experience for advice.
If you are of good character and focused in having a good family contact me privately
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
front page please
Thanks
[/quote] |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Exceed15: 4:49pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
occfx:
Don't mind them... I pity any man that want to satisfy that gender 100%. The guy no good at all and you open leg carry bele, move in with him, cohabited for over 10yrs and you are just realizing he is an addict and confused They specialise in claiming victims. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Xkale1996(m): 4:51pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
front page please
Thanks
God said abstain from sex till marriage Una say nooo Una must Bleep U see the side effects of sex before marriage |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by ofomilad(m): 4:52pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Reach out to a matured married woman with good marital experience for advice. Then if u are serious on having a good marital life with a focus individual then private chat me |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by abbeyd2(m): 5:33pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
You should give him a gap for a while. Then take a step to rethink where you miss it. You still have time. Don't let him use his aggression to put you in a disabled state or untimely death. Remember a divorced lady is better than a dead lady. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by marsup: 5:41pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Take a break, try to find yourself again. If fate brings you together again fine but if not, count your loses and move on. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Felicity001(m): 5:48pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: I’m working, I’m doing averagely okay. I can do better which I’m striving towards at the moment. Having a child really set me back but I’m getting there. The most important thing is that I have money coming in every month and I have a very supportive family. Take the child to your parents since they're supportive and go have a new life since you have a good job well enough to take care of yourself. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by IamAsiri: 5:49pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
frozen70:
I think the problem here is you not the guy
These are my assessments
You are talking about bride price when you are in a pitiable condition that you regard as marriage, whereas the guy and his family has no regards for you to so what will be the value of bride price being paid to tye you down for nothing
For seven years you stick to a man with no future and you don't know the exit route or are you under a spell
Your son can be taken to your parents then you get out and find your bearing
What makes you think you have a future staying with someone who doesn't even have directions
His family are asking you when you will have another child but having another child will be a bigger burden on you
You said you were abroad before coming home, why not go back and leave your child with your parents, or does it mean you don't know how to leave him and go your way or you don't know where you parents are Or have your parents abandoned you too
Very soon, you too will lose focus and balance and that is when it will be dawn on you that you are at the point of no return
If you want to librate yourself, you know what to do
And if you still want to be in this tight corner, remain there,
Na your time they waste not the guys time
She is abroad. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by IamAsiri: 5:56pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
omooba969:
@bolded, Delusion at its finest. ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png)
Will you give the same advice if the man were your blood brother or biological son?
Honest answer please! Not everybody is wicked or unrealistic. |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by debbydams(f): 6:29pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: he has been like this right from the beginning. I’m not perfect too but I know I’m not too bad babe I'm going tru something similar...I'll share my experience when I'm free |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by whichway007: 6:34pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
front page please
Thanks how old are you dear
|
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by frozen70(f): 6:42pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
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Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by therealMcCain: 6:51pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
front page please
Thanks
1. I am confused why you are still talking about bride price and marriage. He hasnt done the needful and life is hell. when he does pay your bride price, nothing will change and things might get worse 2.The fact that he hasnt paid your bride price makes leaving him very easy, the only issue to contend with is your child. Proper arrangement can be made for that 3. At this junction your mental health/self esteem has taken a beating and you need space and time to yourself to heal. you cant heal in this current state and environment. You wont be able to function effectively if you are questioning yourself and having self doubts. 4. You mentioned abroad, is that why he is holding on to you? who foots the bills |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Lama70(m): 6:56pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
IconicR: Redflag yafuyafu. How people who are not married live together still baffles me. You are not laying a good foundation for your life, you better use your head, no be me go Kom tell you say nyash Dy back, it's a common knowledge. This lady is very funny. Somebodi be church worker, him say make una dey do jigi-jigi without marriage. Shey dat one no reach for you to know say him way no pure ![](/faces/huh.png) 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by Namigotalktru: 6:59pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Only one child you be baby mama. Leave this one and go start afresh. If it’s marriage you’re after don’t be having children for men that have not paid your bride price. Move on |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by achimendy(m): 7:15pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
Babe1994: Hi
I’m a girl in her late 20s, I live abroad was born here but spent most of my schooling years in Nigeria. I came back to do university. I’ve been with a guy now for 7 years who hasn’t paid my bride price properly due to the fact he did an arangee marriage and the divorce process is taking too long. I got with him in my early 20s.. and have a child with him. I believed in him but now I’m at the point where I’m honestly frustrated and tired. I really don’t know who to run to to express myself. We are living together but I really want to run away and start my life afresh but I want to be told the truth. I really want to be married and content, It feels like this guy has reduced me to nothing. Im so ashamed of my situation with him, it’s like I’ve disgraced myself and my family. I’m going to try and list out all the issues we’ve been facing.
1. He’s very confused about his career path. One minute he’s a musician.. then he wants to be a painter.. then he wants to be chef. This is a man in his late 30s
2. He has anger issues. We have tussled on some occasions and he threatens to beat me when he’s angry but so far he hasn’t
3. He has addictions. Betting drinking smoking. To the point where he drank so much that he almost killed himself . I was honestly fooled by the fact that he was a worker in the church and I “believed” I could change him. Young and dumb I guess.
4. Cannot communicate properly. To the point we have not had a proper conversation in almost 2 months but we are living together. I feel so lonely and stuck.
5. He insults me so bad to the point where I question myself.
6. He is not very hardworking and I don’t gel well with his family and friends.
7. None of his family ever talk about marriage or paying my bride price. All they ever ask is when I’m having another child for him. They have reduced me to nothing and I can’t blame them.
I will say that when I’m angry I can be verbally abusive also. He also claims that I’m too reserved and isolated. I feel like I’ve been pushed to the wall and I can’t recognise myself.
I really want to run away.. and start afresh. Where will I start from? I have a son how easy will it be to find love again? All the love I have for this man has gone..I don’t know if it can be rectified. He has really seen me finish.
Thank you .
front page please
Thanks
Hahahahahahahaha Is that the kind of man you're staying with? He's a very confused human being, he don't know what he wants in life. I'll strongly advise, you carry that child and live him for good. And I hope you have something doing too, something that will help you financially?? |
Re: Tired Of My Child’s Dad by MySolace: 7:32pm On Aug 13, 2023 |
1 Like |