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Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Eeghe(f): 1:15pm On Aug 14, 2023
Basiljoe:

If you know, you know. Devil's know themselves.

I am a woman and I am not a devil. Thanks!
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by InvertedHammer: 1:16pm On Aug 14, 2023
IamKizzbrown10:
Approximately 95%of marriages in India are arranged, with the divorce rate at 1%. I come from a big family, with 25 first cousins
and many more second and third cousins.

Out of these 28, 24 are now married and 2 are engaged. All arranged marriages, with no divorce to date.

I am the black sheep of the family, with the first love marriage in the history of my family. I believe that I am the custodian of my own
happiness. I believe that God gave me free will.

So, I cannot marry someone my parents choose for me because even if they trained me from birth, they have limited knowledge of what
gives me fulfillment, especially in the area of choosing a life partner.

What are your thoughts about these
/
Everything is possible in any culture. The Indians are raised that way just as the Arabs are raised in a certain way that work for them. It becomes an issue in Nigeria where the people are not sure if they want to be black or white because they were indoctrinated early in childhood to look black but think white.
/
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Almunjid(m): 1:16pm On Aug 14, 2023
Samantha124:
I remember a while back a relative of mine came to my family and said his ancestors directed him to come and get a wife there... grin grin grin

So far we're four girls and two are already married... So it was either me or my other sister who's unmarried.... We both refused and said we wanted nothing to do with it... He said the marriage was arranged by the ancestors.. grin grin grin

He didn't want to give up easily and he kept trying to get my sister's attention for about two years, but she wouldn't give in... He then tried coming my way, but I immediately shut him out.
Chai, u rejected ur ancestors' chosen groom for u? No wonder one "lord of the ring" forgot his "ring" on ur finger for over 3 years now. Ur ancestors wouldn't allow him to marry u. grin

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Basiljoe: 1:16pm On Aug 14, 2023
Lmao. grin grin grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Basiljoe: 1:17pm On Aug 14, 2023
Eeghe:


I am a woman and I am not a devil. Thanks!
grin grin grin
I was joking abeg....
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by GeneralPula: 1:19pm On Aug 14, 2023
ebenezary:
That's how our fore fathers did in the old days
Exactly..

They’ll then teach both the husband & wife how to play their roles well. Both will listen hence why many of our old people grew up as husband & wife..

Not today where people now go into marriages with shameful instincts..

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Yankee101: 1:20pm On Aug 14, 2023
It’s effective because there’s research going on

Your family will contact her’s, ask questions outside about her, test her cooking skills, make sure no history of mental illness or barrenness in her family, ask around to make sure she’s not promiscuous.


But if you go look for a wife by yourself, you lack the capacity to do the research a community can do

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Smoothtalkerfnb: 1:21pm On Aug 14, 2023
The best thing to happen to any man is to allow his family choose a wife for him.


If your sister or mother choose a wife for you my brother you will see the different..once you like the girl and the girl like u and her yansh is ok and she have a small beautiful face my brother enjoy a peaceful marriage..

In our land you can stay in America and marry in Nigeria,family will choose a wife for you .,’ after you come back give her belle still go back and your mum and siblings will be taking care of her chai very sweet.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Nobody: 1:22pm On Aug 14, 2023
Which trick?😂😂😂
Moh227:



grin grin grin

I just learnt a new trick.. time to put it to work on this stubborn girl in my neighborhood
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Nobody: 1:24pm On Aug 14, 2023
Very funny..🤣🤣🤣
Almunjid:

Chai, u rejected ur ancestors' chosen groom for u? No wander one "lord of the ring" forgot his "ring" on ur finger for over 3 years now. Ur ancestors wouldn't allow him to marry u. grin
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by cassyrooy(m): 1:35pm On Aug 14, 2023
Smoothtalkerfnb:
The best thing to happen to any man is to allow his family choose a wife for him.


If your sister or mother choose a wife for you my brother you will see the different..once you like the girl and the girl like u and her yansh is ok and she have a small beautiful face my brother enjoy a peaceful marriage..

In our land you can stay in America and marry in Nigeria,family will choose a wife for you .,’ after you come back give her belle still go back and your mum and siblings will be taking care of her chai very sweet.
Anambra right?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by candelahria(f): 1:38pm On Aug 14, 2023
The fact that the divorce rate of arranged marriages is low doesn't mean the couple are truly happy. It's more about the stigma of being a divorcee. Everyone should be allowed to make the choice of a life partner themselves. I'm assuming the OP is from India.

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Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Danisaint112(m): 1:38pm On Aug 14, 2023
Yes if she is a virgin and we connect well one if she also my type. Why not?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Smoothtalkerfnb: 1:47pm On Aug 14, 2023
A
cassyrooy:
Anambra right?
imo
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Lucas4903: 2:00pm On Aug 14, 2023
I did and we are still balling happily ever after👍👍👍

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by cassyrooy(m): 2:12pm On Aug 14, 2023
Smoothtalkerfnb:
Imo
I'm also from Imo, but based outside the state.

That should be the proper way of life.

Dating is exploitative and a wanton bubble of disappointment and waste of resources.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by correctguy101(m): 2:23pm On Aug 14, 2023
Many will vehemently reject this yet will still want to marry the so-called stranger introduced to them by Mark of FB or the crazy love doctor on radio... cool

Humans, una wahala just too much...smh
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by jeromestarks: 2:36pm On Aug 14, 2023
IamKizzbrown10:
Approximately 95%of marriages in India are arranged, with the divorce rate at 1%. I come from a big family, with 25 first cousins
and many more second and third cousins.

Out of these 28, 24 are now married and 2 are engaged. All arranged marriages, with no divorce to date.

I am the black sheep of the family, with the first love marriage in the history of my family. I believe that I am the custodian of my own
happiness. I believe that God gave me free will.

So, I cannot marry someone my parents choose for me because even if they trained me from birth, they have limited knowledge of what
gives me fulfillment, especially in the area of choosing a life partner.

What are your thoughts about these
Your marriage will crash.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by 5fvv: 2:54pm On Aug 14, 2023
Moh227:



grin grin grin

I just learnt a new trick.. time to put it to work on this stubborn girl in my neighborhood
mohammed safiu Oyedele is that why you raped your nephew and mother
confess now because I have your pictures and videos
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by 5fvv: 2:54pm On Aug 14, 2023
Moh227:
cool



Family and friends knows you better and are sometimes good match making a wife for you based on your known personality

The only problem is only you know what you like as Sexual figure and attractiveness


.
mohammed safiu Oyedele is that why you raped your nephew and mother
confess now because I have your pictures and videos
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Benrosaria(m): 3:04pm On Aug 14, 2023
https://www.nairaland.com/7802049/husband-not-same-man-married

👆 This is what happens when you marry the man a family arranges for you
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by MySolace: 3:05pm On Aug 14, 2023
BoboNogoDie:
ABSOLUTELY!

ONLY IF SHE TICKS ALL THE FOLLOWING:

1) She must be beautiful and presentable.

Very important

2) She must be a virgin.
This is the most important. I MUST KNOW YOUR BODYCOUNT! If you're not a virgin, then there's absolutely nothing you'd tell me about your sexual past that I'll believe. TOTŌ NO GET METER ...
Having multiple ex and bodycount have the effect of making girls DAMAGED AND BROKEN, there by turning them into very selfish and wicked DEMONS.
THE TENDENCY OF THEM BEING A CHEAT IS ALSO VERY HIGH IF THEY HAVE HIGH BODYCOUNT (+2) ALREADY...

The sexual history of a girls tells a lot about her personality.
A girl brought up by responsible parents can never be a SLÚT or whórë.
Someone with high-good level of moral can not just be spreading legs for whoever comes her way.
Virginity is the greatest and the most valuable gift a girl can give to any man.
You can give multiple men your love, children, marriage etc, but you can only give one man your virginity.
If you don't think such gift is worth keeping for someone very special and someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, then I can never consider you as someone with good morals and someone that have sense.


3) She must not be an illiterate. Meaning that she has to have some level of education and must have SENSE!

4) She must come from a good home and family.
I can not be married to someone who has psychopaths in her family. This will require to do good digging and enquiries about her family.

5) She must be willing and comfortable with marrying me.

6) SHE MUST BE READY TO BE SUBMISSIVE, COOPERATIVE AND AGREEABLE.

7) SHE MUST BE GOD-FEARING AND QUITE RELIGIOUS.


THAT'S ALL.
Oga, na to use ur hand create d very girl o.
Dis one u're saying ...U MUST...U MUST...

Meanwhile, I hope u posses diz qualities and there equivalents...? undecided

No b only women should posses qualities
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by iajour(m): 3:09pm On Aug 14, 2023
If she is from a very rich family. M all in
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Little21: 3:13pm On Aug 14, 2023
I think I can, if it was arranged by my parents cuz they know me the best. And it's not like we won't get to spend time with each other until the wedding day.. we will get to know each other, likes and dislikes, hobbies, interest, and so on. In other too know if it's gonna work out.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Justiceleague1: 3:15pm On Aug 14, 2023
Moh227:


gbenue jare,awon Omo ibo obirin ko available fun awon coneheaded structuresgrin
grin grin grin

I just learnt a new trick.. time to put it to work on this stubborn girl in my neighborhood
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Elsueno: 3:16pm On Aug 14, 2023
Don't particularly care, as long as she isn't super religious, can cook really well, not too fat or skinny, average looking & above( beauty is in d eyes of d beholder), A VIRGIN( THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY) then I can do arrange marriage thingy, cause to be honest, parents arranged marriage usually works out cool
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Kipaji: 3:33pm On Aug 14, 2023
Eeghe:
This is unpopular but men, marry the people your sisters choose for you👌🏿

Why the sisters and not, for examples, the mothers?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by qtx(m): 3:38pm On Aug 14, 2023
IamKizzbrown10:
Approximately 95%of marriages in India are arranged, with the divorce rate at 1%. I come from a big family, with 25 first cousins
and many more second and third cousins.

Out of these 28, 24 are now married and 2 are engaged. All arranged marriages, with no divorce to date.

I am the black sheep of the family, with the first love marriage in the history of my family. I believe that I am the custodian of my own
happiness. I believe that God gave me free will.

So, I cannot marry someone my parents choose for me because even if they trained me from birth, they have limited knowledge of what
gives me fulfillment, especially in the area of choosing a life partner.

What are your thoughts about these

It is not a straight jacket answer. It depends. The truth really is that when it comes to perfect union, it does not matter how you got connected to your partner, be it through your parents or other family memembers, friend, school, church, shrine, mosque, bus, market, what really matters is if you are both compatible and truly love each other. Therefore, if you insist that family members must not offer you a partner, what if that partner happens to be someone with the qualities you wish to have in a wife? Am not insisting it must be your family that should provide you a partner, but will you say although she meets your specification therefore you wont accept her unless you meet the person yourself? I think one should have open mind towards considering how to get a partner.

1 Like

Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by kokoA(m): 3:40pm On Aug 14, 2023
Does she have yansh?
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Interactive34: 3:42pm On Aug 14, 2023
Kipaji:
Yes, I can. I won't be against my family finding a young virgin raised to be a loyal housewife and who is highly attracted to me.
The one and only issue I have with arranged marriage is that the woman may not be very attracted to me. She can have a great behavior, be a virgin, but fancy guys who are not like me. That is, I may not be her type. And that can lead to problems you wouldn't have with a woman that is sexually attracted to you.

Men in arranged marriages often struggle to get sex and intimacy , cos the attraction is low... She may be a good woman in other areas though.
Re: Can You Marry Someone Your Family Members Arranged For You? by Eeghe(f): 3:45pm On Aug 14, 2023
Kipaji:


Why the sisters and not, for examples, the mothers?

Sisters are of your generation, they know the signs of the times, they are dating other people at the same time as you- same dating sphere. They know the pranks, screws and nuts…the tricks so to say, as they also employ them too🤷🏾‍♀️
Mothers’ takes are not the best, even though they are also hundred percent for you…
Their combined choice is also perfect…
By sisters I also mean cousins (if you guys are close)
Aunties are also limited the same way mother’s are
Cheers

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