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My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 11:58am On Aug 15, 2023
mikeapollo:


Sorry for the loss of your brother.
One month is too short for a mother to stop weeping and mourning a son who died in his 20s.
Keep consoling her and don't be tired of giving her hope that things will be fine.
Let your father (if alive) get involved in the consolation. Also find time to take her out to comedy events and cinemas where she can watch good films to relax and laugh off some of the sorrows in her heavy heart.
It takes time, but she will be fine.
Mugu...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Blankent(m): 11:59am On Aug 15, 2023
Get a pastor or any spirit-fill Christian to pray for your mom and cancel the spirit of depression. It happened to me when I lost my elder brother. For weeks I couldn't get myself until I complained to a sister who is anointed. She prayed over me, and that was how the death of my brother left my mind.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by hspda: 12:00pm On Aug 15, 2023
GodWrites:
Allow her to cry. She's grieving. Once she has reached the acceptance stage, she will come around.
Perfect response. when my Dad passed on to glory, mum wasn't allowed to cry much because of her friends and families that flocked around her, and after everyone left (Including us the children), na then the real deal came up. Yoruba normally call it Arokan. Mum almost died of arokan, sickness upon sickness. Thank God we didn't loose her. She is far better now.
May God console your mum OP.

2 Likes

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Hopebringer: 12:00pm On Aug 15, 2023
IconicR:
😭 sorry dear, just tell her that if she wants you to succeed in life and excel in whatever you are traveling for then she should stop crying and move on with her life. Tell her that's the only motivation you need from her.
Tell her that her refusal to stop crying and move on is haunting your soul and causing you depression. Tell her only a positive energy from her can help you forge ahead.
Tell her to be strong and take everything in her stride and move on with life.
Sorry for your loss

How beautiful this comment is. I never expected you capable of reasonable thoughts

Well done
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 12:00pm On Aug 15, 2023
chi4ik4:
So sorry for your loss bro. However: she's not going to be consoled, I lost my mum since 2007 and I still cry till date. It hurts me more now that I have some cash to spend on her but she's no more. The loss of a loved one is perpetual, it hurts and your emotions must react spontaneously.

My sincere condolences.
Mufu/Mumu...Gbadebo...Ayan agalu...omo esu laalu...ara Ile Arolu...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Hopebringer: 12:01pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

I am so sorry for your loss bro. I babe a younger brother living with a condition and most times I get so scared an worried even though I try not to be.

Sorry my bro take heart.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Nobody: 12:01pm On Aug 15, 2023
Hopebringer:


How beautiful this comment is. I never expected you capable of reasonable thoughts

Well done
Because of my truth on obi abi?
πŸ˜‚

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 12:02pm On Aug 15, 2023
Blankent:
Get a pastor or any spirit-fill Christian to pray for your mom and cancel the spirit of depression. It happened to me when I lost my elder brother. For weeks I couldn't get myself until I complained to a sister who is anointed. She prayed over me, and that was how the death of my brother left my mind.
Mumu... Iku oro reda...isa oku isegun re da,etc; was said by WHO/WHOM...?...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Ara21(f): 12:04pm On Aug 15, 2023
Sorry for your lost, just give her time one month is small for a mother to just forget her son like that. I also lost a brother in 2020 and my mum almost died, it was with time that she came around.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Hopebringer: 12:06pm On Aug 15, 2023
IconicR:
Because of my truth on obi abi?
πŸ˜‚
Not truth , your opinion which you have a right to express so don't get cute.

Good wonderful wrΓ­te up though

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by NEIGHBOUR(m): 12:06pm On Aug 15, 2023
So sad! What of your daddy? Are you the the only surviving child now?
May the Holy Spirit comfort you πŸ™
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Nobody: 12:07pm On Aug 15, 2023
Hopebringer:

Not truth , your opinion which you gave a right to express so don't get cute.

God wonderful wrΓ­te up though
Just say I have sense and wisdom let everybody rest
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by wiseone28: 12:07pm On Aug 15, 2023
Give ha tyme she will move on
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by MrAbufayed: 12:08pm On Aug 15, 2023
IconicR:
😭 sorry dear, just tell her that if she wants you to succeed in life and excel in whatever you are traveling for then she should stop crying and move on with her life. Tell her that's the only motivation you need from her.
Tell her that her refusal to stop crying and move on is haunting your soul and causing you depression. Tell her only a positive energy from her can help you forge ahead.
Tell her to be strong and take everything in her stride and move on with life.
Sorry for your loss
You come here to dish out good advice to the young man on how to help his mom move on,but you go to other threads and mock the people of Nigeria suffering from the stupid decisions of an illegitimate president who you support in your stupidity,you are not serious...what do you know about pain ? ,if you mock Nigerians everyday with your posts and responses to posts concerning the wreck Tinubu's government is doing to our economy.
Foolish child
Negodu this πŸ„
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Judolisco(m): 12:08pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation
I understand how u feel.... Losing a child is not something u get over in a month.... Took my mum almost 3 yrs to get herself back... Even when my dad tried doing stuffs to make her happy.... She'll get over it... Give her time
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by riches4me(m): 12:08pm On Aug 15, 2023
Give her TIME. She will surely overcome d adversity. Talking from experience.
Let her resume her normal daily activities for distractions.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Nobody: 12:09pm On Aug 15, 2023
MrAbufayed:

You come here to dish out good advice to the young man on how to help his mom move on,but you go to other threads and mock the people of Nigeria suffering from the stupid decisions of an illegitimate president who you support in your stupidity,you are not serious...what do you know about pain ? ,if you mock Nigerians everyday with your posts and responses to posts concerning the wreck Tinubu's government is doing to our economy.
Foolish child
Negodu this πŸ„

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Dicta18: 12:09pm On Aug 15, 2023
She will be fine after one year.. had same experience when my brother was murdered in Abuja at age of 22. Mum didn't leave the house for one year. Always at his grave lighting candles. I don't even wish this to an enemy

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by alasane: 12:09pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

It painful but remind her of this quote

β€œDo not grieve over what has passed unless it makes you work harder for what is about to come.” Umar ibn Al-Khattab
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Arobake: 12:11pm On Aug 15, 2023
Hmmm....this is hard. My prayers & heart are with you & your mum.

But the truth is she will never ever get over the loss, neither would you. But in time, she will learn to live with it. And she will still cry those bitter tears for some time. The time is still too short for her to stop those cries. Matter of fact tis better that she's letting the pain out.

You know why Im so certain? 28 years ago, I lost my husband in a car crash and I havent forgotten him or the agony I have simply learnt to live with it. 15 years after his demise, I remarried a lovely wonderful man but occasionally, till now the pain especially when I imagine how he must have felt at the point of death (it was a motor accident) and thinking of all the might have beens, the pain is still deep and palpable and I weep, albeit briefly. And we are talking about a husband. Your mum lost a child. The loss of a child is the greatest agony a human being can experience in a lifetime.

Give her time. Im sure you know it doesnt mean she loves you any less. The feeling is just indescribable.

May the Lord God give your mum and you peace and the strength you need at this trying time.
May his soul rest in perfect peace.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by ezugegere(m): 12:12pm On Aug 15, 2023
It's not easy but time is the best healer. She will heal with time. Nothing you tell her right will make real difference; the only difference will be that she will try to keep her tears from you.
Allow her cry... tears also heal.
I lost a sister since 2012 and I still cry once in a while, especially when I remember the pains she went through; she died of breast cancer.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 12:17pm On Aug 15, 2023
Dicta18:
She will be fine after one year.. had same experience when my brother was murdered in Abuja at age of 22. Mum didn't leave the house for one year. Always at his grave lighting candles. I don't even wish this to an enemy
Mumu...Omo Mufu... How long would she mourns...if you or your father had died...?...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by gabbasin(m): 12:18pm On Aug 15, 2023
It's not easy for a mother to lose a child, that's why we all pray for the bereaved for the fortitude to bear the loss, I lost my immediate younger brother when I was 13 years, and it took me years to overcome the loss. I don't know if you have a father, your father can do a lot to help your mum overcome the situation. But in the absence of a husband, a loving sibling of your mum can help get her to move on by constantly checking on her and cheering her up and get her engaged on other exciting activities.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by phemmyfour: 12:19pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation
What causes aplastic anaemia?

Aplastic anemia is a rare but serious blood condition that occurs when your bone marrow cannot make enough new blood cells for your body to work normally. It can develop quickly or slowly, and it can be mild or serious. At this time, there is no way to prevent aplastic anemia
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by NoToPile: 12:20pm On Aug 15, 2023
The loss of a child is something I will never wish upon my enemy.

I lost my 22 year old niece in college of medicine last January, First born, I have not gotten over it. This is a girl I carried in my arms as a baby and watched her grow, it was too traumatic for me as even as a big Aunty. I kept on reading her last chat to me, Aunty Notopile how are you and the children.

My cousin her dad wept like a baby, The mum just froze in shock silent with her BP shooting up. I have not really talked deep with my cousin about the matter, it's just too painful.

Anytime I read about medical students she comes straight to my memory.

I still can't imagine how her parents will still be feeling one year later if I am still feeling this way. They are learning to live with the loss

Merely writing about this is traumatizing to me.

Just know that your mum will never forget h even if she tries to, the day she sees her age ate or so she will remember. 1 month is too soon for her to move on, let her cry it out with time she will learn to live with it.

My prayers are with you all. Only God can console her.

3 Likes

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by kushme: 12:21pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:


Kai
Thank you so much for this great input. Honestly I think this will make so much sense to her. I am indeed grateful

Don't you think you'll be blackmailing and suppressing her feelings. She's devastated currently from her loss. Be there for her,boy...

Only comfort her with kind words and assure her that, your late Lil bro is with the lord..

Healing is a process.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Error401: 12:24pm On Aug 15, 2023
Take her to her sisters, she can not live alone, she'd be more depressed

jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 12:25pm On Aug 15, 2023
NEIGHBOUR:

So sad! What of your daddy? Are you the the only surviving child now?
May the Holy Spirit comfort you πŸ™
My dad passed on in 2007.
I am the eldest of other other siblings
Thank you so much
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Error401: 12:25pm On Aug 15, 2023
Inform your family as soon as possible
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 12:27pm On Aug 15, 2023
kushme:


Don't you think you'll be blackmailing and suppressing her feelings. She's devastated currently from her loss. Be there for her,boy...

Only comfort her with kind words and assure her that, your late Lil bro is with the lord..

Healing is a process.
I dread her condition each time she is in that state of mourning. The kind of things she says calls for concern. I don't want to lose her
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by MrAbufayed: 12:27pm On Aug 15, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
So sorry for your loss.

Just make her understand how she's making you feel with her constant crying and how its affecting you badly.

Ask her if she doesn't value you that is still with her and wants to risk losing another son ( God forbid). She'll not want to hear that and watch how she'll quickly stop and recover fast.

May God protect you and your family.
Affliction will not arise a second time. in Jesus name.
Don't blackmail the poor woman emotionally.let her cry and let her pains out,you must allow her be it's not easy losing one's child.... sometimes crying and letting your pains out is the best way to get better after the demise of a Loved one.its alright to cry

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 12:27pm On Aug 15, 2023
Error401:
Inform your family as soon as possible
I think I will do this immediately
Thank uou

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