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My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 1:13pm On Aug 15, 2023
Mummyimbecile:
OP, first, let me start by asking you to please accept my sympathy on the loss of your brother. Losing a loved one and getting over it is not an easy thing unless by God's grace. I knew this when I lost my lovely Dad, it wasn't easy.

I pray that God in his infinite mercies will give you, your mom, your siblings, and any other person that has lost someone dear to them the fortitude to bear the loss and move on... What else can we do? We cant question God.

Secondly, I don't know if your mom stays alone, if she stays alone, I'll advise you to suspend your travel plans if it isn't necessary and stay with her till she gets over the death of your bro. Eh get why.

I pray God sees you true. And also "ozo emena". For the sake of my brothers and sisters who ain't Igbo, it means "may such a thing not happen again".
Mummyimbecile...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by 8stargeneral: 1:15pm On Aug 15, 2023
So sorry bro

This is exactly what am passing through now,lost my only sister last month,since then my mum is not getting herself,we're trying to console her but she always talked about my sister on daily basis
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Ladymillion(f): 1:15pm On Aug 15, 2023
Sorry dear, May the good lord give her the strength to overcome the grief.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by winner37(m): 1:20pm On Aug 15, 2023
Very pathetic...the lord will comfort her
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by BarrElChapo(m): 1:22pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

Sorry for your loss.

It's important that she has some persons in the house always for conversation and all.

Be comforted ♥️

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 1:23pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation
I don't know what your mum/mom,etc; was doing...when he or she "saw that death"... that was going kill... He or she could have killed the/that death...or asks death to kill her too/take her alongside... Let the dead buries the deads...please... Hissed... You never chop... since the dying day...or your mum/mom never chop chop chops...? Come, gives me money or tell your mom/mum...etc; to gives me money... I want to chop... Death is a miracle... To live is to die...to die is to rise again... Now, when I died or had died with GOD and THE LORD JESUS CHRIST ETC... I remains raised or risen with GOD and THE LORD JESUS CHRIST ETC... Hence, I don't commits treason...lest I end up in "prison"..."unlike Apostle Paul..."...?... Treason is for reasons and prison is for seasons... THE DEADS in/with GOD and THE LORD JESUS CHRIST ETC-would rise first... What of the deads to GOD and to THE LORD JESUS CHRIST ETC...? They ain't died to sin,with sin or because of sin...with their cousins...? Sneeze...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Socratiz: 1:25pm On Aug 15, 2023
I advise you seek help from a grief counselor.

This is a painful loss that requires a skillful management so that he can cope. You cannot imagine the state of her mind to be so disconsolate for one month.

Please get some professional help for her because prolonged grief can be disastrous.

You can send me a mail if you need the services of a counsellor

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Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Emmanuel30a: 1:26pm On Aug 15, 2023
Socratiz:
I advise you seek help from a grief counselor.

This is a painful loss that requires a skillful management so that he can cope. You cannot imagine the state of her mind to be so disconsolate for one month.

Please get some professional help for her because prolonged grief can be disastrous.

You can send me a mail if you need the services of a counsellor
After all this time, you are still here or here and there you are...?...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 1:29pm On Aug 15, 2023
Mummyimbecile:
OP, first, let me start by asking you to please accept my sympathy on the loss of your brother. Losing a loved one and getting over it is not an easy thing unless by God's grace. I knew this when I lost my lovely Dad, it wasn't easy.

I pray that God in his infinite mercies will give you, your mom, your siblings, and any other person that has lost someone dear to them the fortitude to bear the loss and move on... What else can we do? We cant question God.

Secondly, I don't know if your mom stays alone, if she stays alone, I'll advise you to suspend your travel plans if it isn't necessary and stay with her till she gets over the death of your bro. Eh get why.

I pray God sees you true. And also "ozo emena". For the sake of my brothers and sisters who ain't Igbo, it means "may such a thing not happen again".
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by BigBlackPreek(m): 1:30pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
Ameen Thanks so much
you're welcome bro
try as much as possible to stay close to your mom for this period
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Image123(m): 1:32pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

Sorry about your pain. She needs to totally hope in God the giver of life and submit all things to Him. Sorry again and may God comfort you all.

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Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by mystery22: 1:32pm On Aug 15, 2023
Chai so sad, it is well I don’t think their is anything you can do except not make her stay alone and prayer
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Desusi: 1:39pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:

Dad was gone 17 years ago
Wow! Seriously. Its pathetic, truly. May God comfort mummy and revive her soon. When l lost my wife in 2017,despite all efforts made, l was almost mad.it took me two weeks before l could walk around in my compound. One would almost asking God but why.This world is a market place,heaven is home for believers in Christ. No matter, how long we live here,we will go back one day.The riddle is no one knows when,how,where it will happened. Cheer up, brother.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Image123(m): 1:41pm On Aug 15, 2023
HappyPagan:
She won't ever recover. My parents 'died' after my siblings died in a plane crash. It's almost twenty years later, and they still aren't themselves.

She can. Job recovered, Kumuyi recovered from the death of his wife Adeboye recovered from the death of his son. It takes total trust in God and belief. It's painful but possible. Someone who truly and thoroughly believes that the lost one is sleeping and will be met at the resurrection will recover faster. The problem for the Christian in grief is usually if the loved one died as a sinner, or if the person grieving feels God disappointed him/her in some way. Death is inevitable, like Heaven and hell.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by HappyPagan: 1:46pm On Aug 15, 2023
Image123:


She can. Job recovered, Kumuyi recovered from the death of his wife Adeboye recovered from the death of his son. It takes total trust in God and belief. It's painful but possible. Someone who truly and thoroughly believes that the lost one is sleeping and will be met at the resurrection will recover faster. The problem for the Christian in grief is usually if the loved one died as a sinner, or if the person grieving feels God disappointed him/her in some way. Death is inevitable, like Heaven and hell.
Please stfu. Thanks.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by tofolo(m): 1:48pm On Aug 15, 2023
Desusi:

Interesting question. I had wanted to ask same question. Hope the dad is still alive, if not,this may be the reason why her pains seemed to be more.it's not an easy thing to bear.May loss of child never happened to us in life in Jesus name.Amen.l would suggest she leave her dwelling place for at lease a week.Get her engaged with something or let her be with the assembly of God's people where prayers and worship are offered in continuous manner. In no distance time, she will revived. Let her read her Bible for comfort too.Never allow her to be alone.
I actually feel her sorrow cos I also lost my dad and brother same day to a car crash, 2011 till today their memories are fresh, time sha heals all wounds so I hope hers heal on time to.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Desusi: 2:03pm On Aug 15, 2023
tofolo:
I actually feel her sorrow cos I also lost my dad and brother same day to a car crash, 2011 till today their memories are fresh, time sha heals all wounds so I hope hers heal on time to.
Yeah, troublous world! Did l hear Dad any your brother? May God comfort you my brother. Well,God knows better.

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Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Adaisback(f): 2:04pm On Aug 15, 2023
BoldBrainz:
Okay.
What are we to do then?
show a little empathy pls. We are humans first
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by wunmi590(m): 2:05pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:

Good
Thank you so much. I am indeed grateful

So sorry for your lose bro...

No parent pray to that their child die before them..

Something like this happen to my mother inlaw too..

Her fourth born died while on the plane to Abuja to do some busness, after 3years her first born died in US, it was so painful then after a year the husband died also...

Please make sure somebody is close to her, call her may be 3-4times a day and always ask her what she wants if you have the money and get it for her...

May God heal her and the family too
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by BoldBrainz(m): 2:08pm On Aug 15, 2023
Adaisback:
show a little empathy pls. We are humans first

Got none of it to give. Everybody should make personal efforts to be fine .
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Hopebringer: 2:09pm On Aug 15, 2023
IconicR:
Just say I have sense and wisdom let everybody rest

Not so modest are you? 🙄
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Adaisback(f): 2:13pm On Aug 15, 2023
BoldBrainz:


Got none of it to give. Everybody should make personal efforts to be fine .
okay, you should at least look away and not say anything instead of saying something hurtful
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 2:14pm On Aug 15, 2023
wunmi590:


So sorry for your lose bro...

No parent pray to that their child die before them..

Something like this happen to my mother inlaw too..

Her fourth born died while on the plane to Abuja to do some busness, after 3years her first born died in US, it was so painful then after a year the husband died also...

Please make sure somebody is close to her, call her may be 3-4times a day and always ask her what she wants if you have the money and get it for her...

May God heal her and the family too
Kai
What a tragedy
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by AliEzeOlu: 2:16pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation

The loss of a child is the greatest horror of parents. It is an anomaly and should be prayed against.

Tell your mum that she should be strong for you and your departed kid bro. Tell her that her tears will only make his soul restless wherever he is.

Also, tell her that, the fact that your kid bro is gone, does not mean that the world has come to an end altogether.

Tell her that you are still here, Alive with her, and that you will be there for her for the rest of existence.

One word of Advice, never ever shed tears in her presence, it will only weaken her the more. Be the man, be the strong arm to hold her up when she's weak.

You said you will soon be traveling, try to always call her intermittently. If possible always do video calls with her and try everything possible to make her laugh and forget her sorrows.

Also, please, always ensure her wellbeing is ok. Make her feel loved and ensure that you make her not be in need by providing her with what makes her happy (for my mom, na Hausa movies dey make her happy) na so I dey subscribe her DSTV for her every month.

My Dad also loves exercises and football so much, so every Saturday, I made provision for my kid bro to always take him to the Stadium in the state capital where they live.

Bro, please be strong. Trust me, I know how you too, feel. I lost my elder brother last year, and trust me, I know what I went through trying to console my very old dad and mom.

May God come through for you and may he make you strong for your mom so she can see reasons to be consoled again.

To momsy's wellbeing, cheers!!
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by BoldBrainz(m): 2:17pm On Aug 15, 2023
Adaisback:
okay, you should at least look away and not say anything instead of saying something hurtful

No. Pain moulds everyone. Being reminded of it, even works better.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by jogojogo: 2:19pm On Aug 15, 2023
tofolo:
I actually feel her sorrow cos I also lost my dad and brother same day to a car crash, 2011 till today their memories are fresh, time sha heals all wounds so I hope hers heal on time to.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by wunmi590(m): 2:21pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:

Kai
What a tragedy

This life is not balance at all...

Just continue to be with her, and she should not be left alone, if you have family that can come and live with her is OK...
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by PrinceGallant: 2:23pm On Aug 15, 2023
Ease.

First, let your mum knows that to God belongs what He has taken, to Him belongs what He has given, and everything has an appointed time with Him, so she should be patient and seek reward.

Second, take away anything that can bring memory of your brother away from your mum. His photo, clothes, shoes, etc. Tell his friends and some of your families not to come and pay condolences anymore.

Additionally, you should let her know that her trial is nothing to compare with what has fallen unto some other family. There are many real life stories that can lessen her grief over there. If you do not know any, cook up one to let her know that hers is infinitesimal

Please accept my condolences!

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by marvrick: 2:23pm On Aug 15, 2023
Sorry bro. Death is mankind's payment for the life we have. It's normal. But remember that your young brother was also a son to your mom hence her continuous shedding of tears.
I pray that the Great Comforter will comfort her while you're absent from her. And may God comfort your family.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Uruanguy(m): 2:24pm On Aug 15, 2023
So sorry for your loss, please get your church community involved, and few trusted family member involve too. It’s only God that heals. Talking from experience of losing my only hope at a tender age was hard to absorb. My dad was not sick but just woke up that morning and exercise had a morning bath , eat and just feel sleep and went back to bed and never woke up till today.

1 Like

Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by nairalanda1(m): 2:30pm On Aug 15, 2023
jogojogo:
My younger brother passed on almost a month ago after being admitted for 3 month at UCH Ibadan. The young man was in his twenties who just wrote is last paper in February. He was diagnosed of aplastic anaemia and was under medical attention untill he passed on.

The death came to us with deep sorrow and pain. I have tried to move on even though it's difficult. I still cry every day secretly but my biggest concern right now is how to get my mother to move on. She has remain unconsolable as every morning I could hear her cries as early as 4.00am daily. I had to be with her in her room talking to her.

Soon, I will be travelling and I am worried she may never find any reason to be happy.

I have spoken to her in my little wisdom and don't even know what else to be telling her.

I need our advice please on how better to handle this and what can be done to effectively help the situation


For now, let mama grieve, but if the grieving continues after another month, quickly take her to see a psychiatrist.(at a teaching hospital)....especially if the grieving reaches the level of her not eating and spending too much time in bed.

My condolences about your loss. Aplastic anemia is high on my list of diseases that I would never wish on my worst enemy.
Re: My Mum Is Unconsolable One Month After by Lama70(m): 2:31pm On Aug 15, 2023
IconicR:
😭 sorry dear, just tell her that if she wants you to succeed in life and excel in whatever you are traveling for then she should stop crying and move on with her life. Tell her that's the only motivation you need from her.
Tell her that her refusal to stop crying and move on is haunting your soul and causing you depression. Tell her only a positive energy from her can help you forge ahead.
Tell her to be strong and take everything in her stride and move on with life.
Sorry for your loss


Also, caution her that if anything happens to her by way of death people will assume that she killed her child.

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