UnfairLife7:
what is there again sir? You said she has lost her hubby isn't it? And i am telling you Op hubby lost his precious wife instead. A woman who fed him for 2 years without his penny. You still have the efrontry to destroy properties in the house and hit his wife. What do you expect the woman to do please? Allow him disfigure her face like you lots do to an average Naija woman?

Samantha124:
What is unlawful is unlawful, it doesn't matter whether you're married or not.

I once got my sister arrested for laying her hands on me because I told her the bitter truth.

And I didn't do it because I hated her or something like that, I don't believe in using violence to solve minor issues... In fact, I hate unnecessary violence.. She later acknowledged her mistakes and apologized to me and we're now good sisters.

The husband also needs to acknowledge his mistakes and apologise to his wife, he should also help with house chores since the wife is the one going out there and bringing in money into the house so as to cover his shame.

Some women would've left him long time ago, but this woman stood by him for the past two years and even now she's still standing by his side.

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Persephone1:
I see some ladies claiming law, they are right but in marriage, African marriage has law ever been used to settle right? No. Law comes in when thing has gone sour and beyond redemption. Op arresting her husband simply put a nail to the coffin. In Nigeria where police station is viewed as a thing of shame and a home for criminals . Op carry her husband go there go chilax and she wants everything to go back to normal. Lol please be realistic! Even the Oyinbo people in developed countries we are emulating go through counseling and therapy before carrying themselves to court. You want to jump procedure and except good results. We are Africans, until we get to a stage where sleeping in cell means the same as being in a correctional facility please think twice before you arrest your partner. It's the reason our mothers hardly report social issues like child rape because they know doing that means it is over (I'm not supporting it just stating a cause)

Op clearly did not prepare herself for the outcome of her actions. She has done it and apologized for it but I'd advice she watches her back. A man who destroys his wife properties acts on contempt and jealousy such man with a bruised ego is dangerous. I will suggest Op threads with caution and watch her back. If I may, I will suggest separation.

Am I saying this marriage is gone? I'm not God. Miracle no dey tire Jesus.

greatiyk4u:

You are reasonable
Mature
Wise and intelligent
Nice submission

Lol I understand how Nigerian marriages works, I understand how infallible Nigerian men are in a Nigerian society. It's the reason I don't pray to end up with one.

darealez:
at this point I'm not just curious about if you're married, how long?

Kobojunkie:
There is nothing Christian about any of what OP reveals she has been dealing with though so why suggest you forego a professional counselor for a supposedly "Christian" one?

Damilolly:
OP, when he was beating you, you should have just taken the beaten and hoped for the best. At least he didn't kill you. If he'd killed you and then is sentenced to prison for life the children would've been left to be orphans. You've made that difficult now cos he knows you'll call the police if he turns violent again so his plan is scuttled. So what is he to do??
You've chosen you and your children's safety and maintaining law and order in the society over allowing him test how good a punching bag you are. Maybe disconnect the phone and ask him to re-do the exercise.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

darealez:
There are many wisdom that appear as foolishness to one who's not a Christian. My counselor is a professional but you must be ready obey BIBLICAL references to marriage regardless of how tough they might be.

Persephone1:
Lol I understand how Nigerian marriages works, I understand how infallible Nigerian men are in a Nigerian society. It's the reason I don't pray to end up with one.

Samantha124:
And I said it doesn't matter.

Kobojunkie:
This response of yours makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. Again, There is nothing Christian about any of what OP reveals she has been dealing with though so why suggest you forego a professional counselor for a supposedly "Christian" one?

darealez:
Exactly! It cannot make sense to you.

greatiyk4u:


This is harsh and discouraging
The only reason she humiliated him with the arrest is because of his broken nature, nothing more.
While I don't encourage violence, I strong believe her response and attitude to his request for food must have triggered that.....a hungry broke man is an angry depressed man.

The singular decision to arrest him is a practical red flag sign of end of the marriage.....if she cannot tolerate and forgive his violence towards her while using other avenues to resolve it why do you think the man will tolerate and forgive police arrest humiliation from his once loving and caring wife?

Her action may be legally right but definitely culturally wrong since the story portrays it was the 1st time he acted the way HE did.

Kobojunkie:
Of course gibberish makes no sense.

darealez:
Not too many people understand the many sacrifices people have had to undergo for the sake of their home.

Was he right for beating her? No, he was very wrong.. I don't seek to defend him.

Let me just adopt the miracle song and rest...

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

greatiyk4u:


Better do
You won't regret it, they are very flexible and submissive in the house, the ego and pride is mostly displayed outside to feel among......

You are mistaken to think I'm not a Nigerian so I don't know what or who Nigerian men are in their homes
Please do not be deceived by my sobriquet.

darealez:
Exactly the point. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

darealez:
...surprisingly, it does. In fact, I'm tempted to ask if your parent had a divorce and also if you had thorny childhood experiences.

If you're married, your husband already deserves an award. If you're not.., he would deserve an award.

There's no reason to trade words, I'll be back to ask again in a couple of years.


Reference**

ExudeLoveToAll:



It's good not to tolerate nonsense, please don't go into marriage if you won't tolerate nonsense.. Be ready for divorce in 3months

Persephone1:
You are mistaken to think I'm not a Nigerian so I don't know what or who Nigerian men are in their homes
Please do not be deceived by my sobriquet.

greatiyk4u:


Noted
Though world is a global village

Yes with unequal share of humanity and reverence for lives.

Samantha124:
My parents are not divorced and I had an amazing childhood...

My father is a responsible man and he never broke my mother's dishes or layed his hands on her... So I wouldn't tolerate such behavior from a man because I was raised by a good man.

ExudeLoveToAll:



It's good not to tolerate nonsense, please don't go into marriage if you won't tolerate nonsense.. Be ready for divorce in 3months