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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days (51870 Views)
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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by CHoccolaTE: 7:42pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
KingLennon:By lack wisdom you mean they are not willing to tolerate oppression and shitty treatment in the name of being good wives? Thank God times are changing. It will only get better for women. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Styluss: 7:43pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
domestic violence is very bad. If your best resolution is locking him up in the police station rather than threatening him with the force, reporting to his friends and family, starving him sexually or other ways then she should face whatever consequences. Would she have arrested him if he was the breadwinner? Im sure she would find other alternatives. My people say you dont do friends after a court case. Only a miracle can safe that marriage. BTW Are you married? UnfairLife7: 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 7:43pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
darealez:the earlier you know a woman doesn't have a home once a man raises his hand on her the better for you. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Matix222: 7:43pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Samantha124: Is only on NL you see people like you yet married advising people about their homes what do you know about family? Stupid thing 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by braine(m): 7:43pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
KingLennon: I'm telling you, my brother. This is one of the reasons I'm not married yet and having my peace for along as I can. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by shantti(m): 7:44pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
It might shock una to know that the op's husband might have just simply shoved her aside as she blocked him from entering the house and she claimed she was beaten. Women can exaggerate stories oh, I know this cos am a victim. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nemesis0147(m): 7:44pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Matix222:e no get wetin that woman go fit do the husband that will make him lock her up in the the police cell….I’m not in support of domestic violence oh but there are better ways to handle things like that….what about moving out until the man comes to his senses? That man pride has been punctured for life!! 3 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by braine(m): 7:44pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
UnfairLife7: I wont end up with the type id ever lay my hands on. I'm too wise to make that mistake now. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 7:44pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
braine:You are wrong to assume that I subscribe to your suggestion that all men in that situation resort to animalistic behavior like OP's husband is reported to have done. And yes, a relationship can be mended if both parties are willing to make allowance for such to occur. ![]() 2. Why should her actions be to reduce tensions when the man is responsible for creating tension where there ought not to have been one to begin with? ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by KingLennon(m): 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Samantha124:You are deviating. Am not saying that what the man did was good (according to her side of the story) but am saying that she handled it wrongly. That man is depressed and broken. I've been down that road before and I know how it feels... 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by blackgold2018(m): 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Connected1:no one is yet to detect that woman(op) is cheating on her husband. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Emily22(m): 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
shantti: Aswear.....she as she arrange the d story |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BRATISLAVA: 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
A40: Preach. The extent they can go to justify their proclivities in others is an eyesore. Imagine where they feel he has a reason for beating her, yet they don't feel he should be imprisoned, because hurting another person against the law is not a big deal? Even if he killed her you would still read that type of daft comment. The way some people have integrated into society is worrisome. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by shantti(m): 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Emily22: Maybe she blocked him from entering his house and he simply pushed her aside, then she intentionally fell down and started yelling that he has killed her and then called the police on him. 3 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Hathor5(f): 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
thesicilian: And he will also keep quiet when his wife refuses to do anything at home and instead goes out to drink and smoke. Stop deceiving yourself. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by SonofGod231: 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
When I was living in ondo state. I stayed in a sef con but the neighbors living within were married and living in one and two beds. The young couple living opposite me,the man would be beating the wife in the middle of the night. That's how she would be shouting our names in the middle of the night. The first time I noticed I was the only one the went out in the entire compound to knock but no one opened and the screams suddenly disappeared. The next morning i saw the lady going out with black eyes and all that. Later they were all nice and sweet again. Bottom line is before I moved out of that very compound I lost count of how many times this man beats his wife in the middle of the night,that I didn't bother coming out when they start or even care. Another neighbor was doing it here in Ph. The man is even a pastor in the church they attend,he beats the shit out of the woman but they moved out shortly and am I not surprised to say I still see them coincidentally around riding as couples most times. My own is those women cheering are husbandless and lonely who are so desperate to hang onto a man. Don't listen to them. You alone should know your man better,act accordingly without a third party interference. A man wants to be the boss of his home so any thing demeaning can be frustrating as a man. Probably he's beginning to feel worthless,you should help him find his worth if you truly care. Most women here three times out of three wouldn't restrain their spouses but would be here with their chattrap. |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by MrAbufayed: 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Kobojunkie:If I flog you ehnnn..... |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Babatunjo: 7:45pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Not sure if the OP will get to read this, but I'll be blunt with the truth: A man who drinks to overcome his family problems will eventually ruin that family. The wife and kids will also suffer and it will affect their future. Life happens to everyone and I don't blame him at all for the financial challenges... However, he has 100% blame for a decision to start drinking to forget his problems.. it's a selfish and a lazy solution. If he's truly depressed he should confide in you and take antidepressant drugs and counselling.... then start making attempt to bounce bounce while you stylishly cover his unclothedness financially without letting third parties, including the children, your friends or family know (This is where most women don't do well) Most domestic violence and abuse are almost always linked to alcohol use. Almost always. Apart from you being traumatized, your innocent children are already being condemned to grow up with serious psychological trauma, that may eventually affect their personalities, future relationships, self esteem and so on... I'm not exonerating you too, especially if you are a nagging woman (I hope you are not, if so, stop it) which pushes most men, especially those with low self esteem to alcohol use which they now use to come and confront their wives and cause all sorts of domestic violence and abuse, usually in the presence of the children... So.. my very blunt advice is for you to leave the marriage. Let me repeat again. Leave the marriage very early. Even if he makes it back again, he'll use it to punish you. It's not because I like single parents or divorce.. but because leaving him now is a lesser evil. The foundation is already faulty. I am a man, but for the sake of your young children, your sanity and if you want to enjoy your old age, start strategizing now on how to leave.. and leave once your plans are solid. As for the man, don't hate him.. he's a victim of life plus his inborn personality.. stay in touch with him, send money to him when you can. And let your children have frequent and quality fatherly relationship with him to help their growth 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by darealez(m): 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Samantha124:Well, I see it as very wrong. Kindly do me the favour of sending ops message to the sister you got arrested and your mum. I'd love to hear from them. If a hen spills my milk, I'll crush it's eggs... It's fine if I don't need those eggs anymore, I can have an eggless omelette then!! |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by TheMostComplex1: 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Persephone1: Please don't ever consider this comment because if you accept violence it will continue until you are no more 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Just two days ? I hope he signed an undertaking ![]() Jobless, drunk, bad mouthing and wife beater, yet you locked him up for just two days. ![]() Nonsense! Him still see small money to drink ogogoro na him cause am. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
DavidTech23:So, her husband pummeling her— she probably fearing he might kill her— is an exception or what? ![]() 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by peculiar2233: 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Verokeena: "I had to go with his friends to beg him the next" You could have reported him to those his friends at first instead of taking such action. You must keep begging him, I pray God gives him forgiving spirit. Try this logic, I pray it work One weekend or your free work day, just pretend as if you are seriously sick, if possible, pretend for like that for two to three days and see how he's going to respond. I hope he react positively. After the whole drama, just go on your knees and thank him for how he reacted to your illness (God forbid illness lol) and beg him to let peace reign henceforth. Keep praying for him and never sieze to encourage him. He will surely come back on his feet. That man is going through a lot and he's not stable mentally for now. I've been in that situation before. God bless your home 🙏 |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by tunwumi: 7:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
The question is not meant for you. It's beyond you for now. Kobojunkie: |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
TheMostComplex1:Precisely! Violence is unacceptable, no matter what excuse is offered. ![]() |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BRATISLAVA: 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Lol @point 1. They will say anything to justify and perpetuate their proclivities. It is professional courtesy in the battery club. 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Hisincrease: 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
UnfairLife7:I don’t remember quoting you to disagree or argue views with you. I want you to stay out of my mentions and debate with folks who disagrees with you. Again, every man is not an idiot like you. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BREYZ: 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Verokeena: Your husband needed help and instead of getting one for him you decided to get the police involved to arrest him due to his misbehaviours in his drunken State. He did wrong yes but there are ways you should have handled that instead of getting him arrested. It's not really about what we feel here but the impression you have created in his head. You knew he was drunk and he did all those damages not that he was in the right frame of mind to him you have betrayed him and to make matters worst you did that in his most darkest period (while unemployed). Believe it or not, that man will never forgive you for what you did, imagine sleeping in the cell for two days, your own husband? You get mind sha. I am not saying you should have endured the abuse or anything else neither am I supporting him for pouncing on you but common there are 101 ways you should have handled this as a grown woman and mother without involving the police. I read where you listed out the things you now do and all, weren't you doing all these while your husband was still working? Dont you take care of your kids? Feed them? Why trying to paint it as though it's because your husband is now unemployed, everything is now on you. This is life, you people should learn how to handle issues and accommodate others ills while helping them find a solution. This is your husband for goodness sakes. You bleeped up seriously. You need serious counselling as a woman, a wife and a mother. Do you know what people pass through a night in police cell not to talk about 2 nights. Only God fit Help you, your husband will have lots of reservation about you henceforth. 2 Likes |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LilMissFavvy(f): 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
The west is a standard and will always be a standard. Between being a supporter of LGBT and being a supporter of your corrupt, impoverished*, backward* religious extremist nation, who burn* humans in the name of religion, plus insecurity problems, which is better? Only a foool would support the latter. capnies: 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by braine(m): 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: There are some lines that must not be crossed, raising your hand to beat a spouse is one, the other is arresting the spouse (at least in Africa). Abroad, the man would have suffered more for this. You cannot tell me this is repairable. 1 Like |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 7:47pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Again you're not answering my question. I want a yes or a no. KingLennon: |
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Hathor5(f): 7:48pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Emily22: A man came home drunk after his wife went to work, took care of the kids and the house. I don`t feel sorry for him. He should have stayed longer where he was to sober up. He is of no use to anyone outside. 1 Like 1 Share |
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