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The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 8:03pm On Aug 22, 2023
Only my sister can answer that question, not me.
darealez:
Why didn't your sister arrest your mother?
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 8:04pm On Aug 22, 2023
Amumaigwe:


Just having a dangler does not make a man.
if you like beat your wife, you go sleep for cell for days. If she was too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her.

1 Like

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BRATISLAVA: 8:04pm On Aug 22, 2023
Procashtips:


No. I believed no one, hence my questions I have asked so far.
Same questions the Association of Chronic Partner Batterers keep asking all over the place.

What a coincidence.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BennyDGreat: 8:04pm On Aug 22, 2023
Kobojunkie:
But that is bullsheet since there should be absolutely no reason why they, as professionals, should do any such. undecided

Read up on counselling. A professional counsellor can tailor counselling to the patient's faith if necessary to achieve required objective.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dennisochampa: 8:06pm On Aug 22, 2023
Procashtips:


Ok chief judge, she's the victim because she said so.

No questions asked
No scrutiny
No evidence tendered

You that believed her, do you live with her?
Are you her family member?
Do you know her?
Now that you have believed her, I hope you're also going to help her resolve her family issues and undo the damage she's already afraid of through her guilt?

Oh great judge you're.
...... So she die first before she cry out so that everyone will write rip for her on nairaland and attribute her death to domestic violence?
Bros I am judging based on the information I have at hand and also because of experiences where I've seen men vent frustration on their wives simply because they think the women are trying to be the head of the home because they don't have a job..... It's not uncommon these days to see men who act like this because they do not have a job

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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by darealez(m): 8:06pm On Aug 22, 2023
Samantha124:
Only my sister can answer that question, not me.
Definitely, and that's where the wisdom is. She most definitely has a large heart... Extend my greetings to her, and I hope she's with one who won't take a brilliance for granted.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BennyDGreat: 8:07pm On Aug 22, 2023
Samantha124:
That's because the people don't like taking responsibility for their actions and they're too prideful.

Yes but you see, the way Nigerian police system is...when you happen to sleep in a cell for two days, it could aggravate your anger towards the one who got you arrested especially when it's a family member. Honestly, it was a wrong call by the woman.

The Nigerian system doesn't support this kind of style

2 Likes

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by omoasero(m): 8:07pm On Aug 22, 2023
Locking him up is a NO NO, u should have gone to the friends that u later went to in the first place. That been that, If u still want him then find a way to make him come around

1 Like

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 8:07pm On Aug 22, 2023
royalfly:
■ Why is osinachi case ur only mantra.. I know ur type, take away Osinachi on this matter, what's ur point. Do you think women have not killed men too. As a matter of fact, women have killed more men from the inception of life. My happiness is that the woman is remorseful for going that far, meaning she knows husband is not a dead bit. Bros stick with the issue on ground, I don't av time
Osinachi is the ultimate example to all women out there in Nigeria land who thinks to rationalize violence and foolishness in marriage. That woman must have
● prayed and fasted her brains out
● asked every third-party her husband respected, including pastors, to intervene
● persevered for so long under very violent conditions yet all the while submitting
● sung her brains out to God to get Him to come down and fix the relationship
● taken on the role of breadwinner so she could be superwoman in her marriage
● made certain her family was aware of the problem in the marriage
● had in-laws who were aware of the conditions in the marriage, even though they did not care to do anything about it


where is she today? Wormfood and she was made that by that same man she did all that to keep. undecided
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by royalfly(m): 8:08pm On Aug 22, 2023
BRATISLAVA:


Please, batter your woman in peace. I don't have time for this.

Lol.. no p... reas my post, but if a woman do anyhow let her see anyhow. Words maybe more painful for a a man but a slap on the wrist is the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman. My guy rest, osinachi this and that, we all know. Who u wan impress. Alot of men re ffff victims, u don't know
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by BennyDGreat: 8:08pm On Aug 22, 2023
TheMostComplex1:


Yes that's the more reason when you want to take this route which is the right thing to do you should be prepared for anything

Unfortunately, she didn't 'count the cost'

The man may eventually leave the home for her due to his battered ego
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 8:09pm On Aug 22, 2023
How would you feel if your wife broke your plates and started beating you up for not cooking after she spent the entire day getting drunk while you were at work working so that you can put food on the table?
KingLennon:

What's ur question? Now try asking it without involving emotions
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by blackgold2018(m): 8:09pm On Aug 22, 2023
cutesharon:
Very typical response...blame the woman, she must have done something wrong right. Do we ever think of that working class woman that still has take care of the home. Doesnt she deserve some love too. Amidst the constant going to work knowing she cant quit as her fanily depends on it, who remembers her. She may also be depressed too. And nothing wrong in calling the cop. Do the crime, face the fine. Why must he lose his anger and make her feel threatened. The human response is to react amd protect herself.
No dear I’m not supporting violence.. I have never rised my hand on my wife nor verbally abused her

My main point is that. The probability of op cheating is high.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 8:09pm On Aug 22, 2023
DavidTech23:
■ People interpret threats in different ways. What's life-threatening to you may be child's play to me. The bottom line is, he was provoked
Wow... you claim he was provoked yet the police after hearing their case felt to throw him in jail for two days. How come? Don't bother responding abeg! undecided
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Hamzashaf99(f): 8:10pm On Aug 22, 2023
Two years is a long time for a man to be without a job. That means his wife takes care of feeding, school fees, health issues and all. Men also hate being taken care of which makes them say hurtful words to women when they take up that mantle.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 8:10pm On Aug 22, 2023
colbycell:


You have spoken well, and like an elder. You see, in the last 2 years, August precisely my life, business and all is been upsidedown.

I live in Abuja, my home was demolished, and also this June my work station was demolished. So you can understand that the frustrations in my life are astronomical.

No marriage is perfect, especially when the primary source of financial flow drops or stops permanently.

I have a wife, and I have 2 kids with my wife and 2 other beautiful daughters outside my marriage. Yes! I am putting this out so that the OP knows that she's overdone this.

Any day I go to my new office space I spend roughly N3,500 and I may end up not getting any return for that day. Before now, every other month I make roughly 350k or more.

Because of this drop in funds, I get some silly behaviors from the wife, it is only normal for women to want to overdo things especially when they have friends, and maybe their husbands are doing fairly well.

There are issues here and there, but I try to never let it result into deep quarrels or me hitting my wife. May God never allow me do this.

You husband is totally wrong for hitting you, and there are no justification for even damaging your things. But let me tell you ooh! Some of these people that are advising you don't mean well.

Anybody wen arrest me na there our friendship end, this is why I have never thought about arresting anybody. If it turns out that my wife would be the one to arrest me Hmmm! That Marriage is Over and I mean it.

Forgive and avoid, simple. Where una elders or neighbors dey wen you go bring police? Na power play be that na! Like you planned it out.

But then you know your husband, try to get family and friends to beg him, and I pray he forgives.

Money and Job will come...na small time remain.
One of my life rule is: You don't get to determine how a person react to your provocations. While you throw the first punch I hope you save the best for the last.

This is what is happening with Op. Husband acted, she reacted, husband is currently acting she's concerned. Things don't work that way.

It baffles me that the ladies supporting the law on this thread are not giving the headway on the real issue which is how does Op get her husband's forgiveness since she still wants the marriage. grin

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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dammyseyon(m): 8:10pm On Aug 22, 2023
People just dey talk like retard. How can you say she locked him up because she's doing better? He can never get away with such act in a developed country.
He got exactly what he deserved and if true love is involved, he should beg his wife and knack sense back into her. Your husband crossed the line and he should be punished.
You did the right thing

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Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dareal90s(m): 8:11pm On Aug 22, 2023
UnfairLife7:
LOl

You seems think husband is a demi God? You are really still backwards at this age and time.
Think with your brain nigga, if the woman was in his shoes do u think he will lock her up?

She overstepped by involving the cops, what happened to relatives/elders resolving the issues, a very senseless move, why is she here with the topic then since she did the right thing by locking up her husband?
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Kobojunkie: 8:11pm On Aug 22, 2023
BennyDGreat:
■ Read up on counselling. A professional counsellor can tailor counselling to the patient's faith if necessary to achieve required objective.
Stop fooling yourself! The moment you tailor the counseling to suit your religious/traditional idea, it ceases to be professional and becomes religious hogwash! undecided

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by sparko1(m): 8:12pm On Aug 22, 2023
cutesharon:
Very typical response...blame the woman, she must have done something wrong right. Do we ever think of that working class woman that still has take care of the home. Doesnt she deserve some love too. Amidst the constant going to work knowing she cant quit as her fanily depends on it, who remembers her. She may also be depressed too. And nothing wrong in calling the cop. Do the crime, face the fine. Why must he lose his anger and make her feel threatened. The human response is to react amd protect herself.

Fear women!

2 Likes

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 8:12pm On Aug 22, 2023
Dareal90s:

Think with your brain nigga, if the woman was in his shoes do u think he will lock her up?

She overstepped by involving the cops, what happened to relatives/elders resolving the issues, a very senseless move, why is she here with the topic then since she did the right thing by locking up her husband?
domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that. I don't condole or tolorate violence
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nobody: 8:12pm On Aug 22, 2023
So according to your, people who beat up other people for telling them the truth have got large hearts?
darealez:
Definitely, and that's where the wisdom is. She most definitely has a large heart... Extend my greetings to her, and I hope she's with one who won't take a brilliance for granted.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by SonofGod231: 8:12pm On Aug 22, 2023
LadyRosa:
Some women dey try sha!

Whats fixcking attractive about a Jobless, drunk, vindictive and abusive husband?

The first mistake was apologising to him. I wouldn’t if I'm in your shoes. And I ain't leaving that station until he sign an undertaking with sureties.

If he feels he is too humiliated to continue a peaceful marriage, well, fine. Life goes on.
Try find love first then we can take you seriously. They married and she still loves her jobless husband. Hear?

1 Like

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by royalfly(m): 8:13pm On Aug 22, 2023
Kobojunkie:
Osinachi is the ultimate example to all women out there in Nigeria land who thinks to rationalize violence and foolishness in marriage. That woman must have
● prayed and fasted her brains out
● asked every third-party her husband respected, including pastors, to intervene
● persevered for so long under very violent conditions yet all the while submitting
● sung her brains out to God to get Him to come down and fix the relationship
● taken on the role of breadwinner so she could be superwoman in her marriage
● made certain her family was aware of the problem in the marriage
● had in-laws who were aware of the conditions in the marriage, even though they did not care to do anything about it


where is she today? Wormfood and she was made that by that same man she did all that to keep. undecided


Untimate you say? Let me rest self, maybe u av something personal about her case. Am sorry if I hurt you. She is a good woman and deserves to live. The killed in a hotel deserves to die. The one one the wife connived with a a pastor deserve to die. Hakim deserves to be sapped. Mandy carrer deserves to go down, greenwood carrer deserves to go down. Osinachi soul is in heaven u try make ur own. No one is perfect, men suffer more take it or leave it
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Dareal90s(m): 8:13pm On Aug 22, 2023
UnfairLife7:
domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that. I don't condole or tolorate violence
Then tell her not to disturb us with it since it has been well handled by the law.

2 Likes

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by moshino(m): 8:13pm On Aug 22, 2023
Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

If he abused you in anyway, shape or form, then you need not feel guilty, nor apologize to him. Two days he spent there is not even enough. He has a wife and children, so he should mann up and find other means of keeping busy to provide for his family, and be responsible. The answer to his frustration does not reside inside alcohol bottle nor cigarette stick.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by LadyRosa(f): 8:14pm On Aug 22, 2023
SonofGod231:

Try find love first then we can take you seriously. They married and she still loves her husband. Hear?


Idiot! I don't find love.
I married a man who loves me and not who I love.

A wife's role is to be submissive and not to love.

I'm not unfortunate like your sisters.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Nemesis0147(m): 8:14pm On Aug 22, 2023
Samantha124:
How would you feel if your wife broke your plates and started beating you up for not cooking after she spent the entire day getting drunk while you were at work working so that you can put food on the table?
let me tell you.
Sentiment aside…. There is nothing this woman will do that will him lock her up in a police cell….do you know what this means?
You think say na yankee u dy?
What about working out of the marriage or giving him space for the main time?

Have you been locked up in a cell before?
Do you know the dent it brings to your name?
Talk more of when it is coming from your wife.

You see ba…she has finished that man for life….even in front of his friends.

1 Like

Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by ozo13(m): 8:15pm On Aug 22, 2023
UnfairLife7:
The man deserves more than that. He has been without job for 2 years and all he could do was to drink, smoke, destroy his wife stuff and even went as far as hitting her.

I am a man and i will keep saying it, we men can't take half of what we dish out to women.

These same men cannot try all these nonesense in developed countries. Naija na shithole truly. Too many things wrong about the country
Haba ,same country u call shithole Majority of it's culture encourages the man to spend on the family(wife and kids)
and almost left with noting while the wife in most case work and save her own money to herself where as in most European countries as we learnt bills are splitted and taken care of by both couples.U should just have make ur point than calling your country a shithole.Anyhow Sha.
Its obvious from the wife narrative, the man is going through some level of depression(drinking alcohol excessively, sleeping home and doing noting moat of the time to help himself or the family) and something needs to be done ASAP.
May God help the family.Issues of lack of Job and finance isn't easy at all for any family man.
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by UnfairLife7(m): 8:15pm On Aug 22, 2023
Dammyseyon:
People just dey talk like retard. How can you say she locked him up because she's doing better? He can never get away with such act in a developed country.
He got exactly what he deserved and if true love is involved, he should beg his wife and knack sense back into her. Your husband crossed the line and he should be punished.
You did the right thing
an average Nigerian men still reason backwards. Funny enough these same men drop their wack backwards mentality the moment they get to Murtala international airport. They feel like demi God on their neive women
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Crafteck1: 8:15pm On Aug 22, 2023
Verokeena:



It was more of a warning to him.. I didn't neglect him there.. he had access to his phone.. even though as first he wasn't taking my call but I kept texting him..

Now the thing is he was supposed to come out the next day but he refused. Said since I placed him there he'd wish to die there(emotional blackmail if you ask me)

I had to go with his friends to beg him the next day..


Omo see unaccountability,him refusing to come out is what u call emotional blackmail
Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by cutesharon(f): 8:15pm On Aug 22, 2023
Same way the probability of the jobless man also cheating is high. Maybe even spending the wife's hard earned income on another woman who thinks he has money. At the end, his reaction brought about a corresponding reaction which embarassed him completely. Next time he will not do so or next time, make the woman kuku hold her money and carry her kids away to enjoy her life instead of covering his shame as a good wife. Lobatan. No one likes couples ending in stations or court but we should not then support any party's right to be stupid like him whether man or woman.
blackgold2018:
No dear I’m not supporting violence.. I have never rised my hand on my wife nor verbally abused her

My main point is that. The probability of op cheating is high.

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