You shouldn't have done that to your husband, you should have find a way to pacify him.

Some comments Sha....mu na Gani

She definitely is the one paying the rent, so don't you think he's the one who should go back to his father's house? That's if he has any, or sleep on the streets

Alusiizizi:


The moment that you brought in other men to overpower your husband in his own house, your marriage was irreversably destroyed. What you did was even worse than keeping other men as boyfriends, in his eyes, and trust me, cry all you want but he will never forgive you. Your only option now is to move back to your Fathers' house.

So what do you expect her to do? Endure the beatings?

BennyDGreat:


Yes but you see, the way Nigerian police system is...when you happen to sleep in a cell for two days, it could aggravate your anger towards the one who got you arrested especially when it's a family member. Honestly, it was a wrong call by the woman.

The Nigerian system doesn't support this kind of style

royalfly:
■ Untimate you say? Let me rest self, maybe u av something personal about her case. Am sorry if I hurt you. She is a good woman and deserves to live. The killed in a hotel deserves to die. The one one the wife connived with a a pastor deserve to die. Hakim deserves to be sapped. Mandy carrer deserves to go down, greenwood carrer deserves to go down.
■ Osinachi soul is in heaven u try make ur own. No one is perfect, men suffer more take it or leave it

Stop with the inane deviations. You asked of Osinachi, and here again....

Kobojunkie:
Osinachi is the ultimate example to all women out there in Nigeria land who thinks to rationalize violence and foolishness in marriage. That woman must have
● prayed and fasted her brains out
● asked every third-party her husband respected, including pastors, to intervene
● persevered for so long under very violent conditions yet all the while submitting
● sung her brains out to God to get Him to come down and fix the relationship
● taken on the role of breadwinner so she could be superwoman in her marriage
● made certain her family was aware of the problem in the marriage
● had in-laws who were aware of the conditions in the marriage, even though they did not care to do anything about it

where is she today? Wormfood and she was made that by that same man she did all that to keep.

2. Which heaven? Na you open the door to this heaven for her abi wetin? The woman is there in her grave rotting away with worms abeg! All her singing, prayer, and fasting no comot pass her pastor roof sef.

God gave her a brain to use, but she refused to use it in saving herself from a man that used her as a punching bag for many years. Do you think God is some kind of mumu who would accept even the foolish into His own abode?

Alexsyl:
You shouldn't have done that to your husband, you should have find a way to pacify him.

Are you freaking kidding me?
She should have pacified him as how?

Pls just tell me you're kidding.

Nemesis0147:
let me tell you.
Sentiment aside…. There is nothing this woman will do that will him lock her up in a police cell….do you know what this means?
You think say na yankee u dy?
What about working out of the marriage or giving him space for the main time?

Have you been locked up in a cell before?
Do you know the dent it brings to your name?
Talk more of when it is coming from your wife.

You see ba…she has finished that man for life….even in front of his friends.

domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

Dennisochampa:
.... Good, I don't live with them so I am judging based on the information I have @ hand and also based on experiences... I have seen men who act irrational simply because they don't have jobs and they perceive that their wives is attempting to boss them around simply because their wives stood up to them at one point or another

so a one sided story is now called information at hand, we learn everyday.

I also gave my perspective from my personal experiences cos I too have seen where wicked wives frame their innocent husbands, making him suffer for something they know nothing about

Even though I never supported any kind of violence & also not had ur hubby's side of the story, I reasonbly think u are wrong in all ur actions against ur husband

To me, it's more of intimidation because he is now jobless and for that reason ur feel like rubbishing him any time u like, I strongly believe that ur husband in as much he isn't insane will not do all what u have accusing him of here & I'm pretty sure of of my conviction. except he is suffering from mental ill health

I have just two questions for you

1. Do u think that ur husband would have arrested u if you were the one who assulted him as u alleged?

2. If he does (arrest) u & later begging for forgiveness as u are doing right now do you think you would have forgiven him?

Be sincere and truth to urself!

Kobojunkie:
Osinachi is the ultimate example to all women out there in Nigeria land who thinks to rationalize violence and foolishness in marriage. That woman must have
● prayed and fasted her brains out
● asked every third-party her husband respected, including pastors, to intervene
● persevered for so long under very violent conditions yet all the while submitting
● sung her brains out to God to get Him to come down and fix the relationship
● taken on the role of breadwinner so she could be superwoman in her marriage
● made certain her family was aware of the problem in the marriage
● had in-laws who were aware of the conditions in the marriage, even though they did not care to do anything about it

where is she today? Wormfood and she was made that by that same man she did all that to keep.

They are good men out there, the ones who are truly innocent, I speak for them. Men never hit ur wife, try as much as u can. But believe me ur species are in danger now with the way the world is. Do u know if a woman acusesses me of a crime and is found to be a lie, nothing happens, let me acusses a woman wringly and it's found to be a lie, that's the end. At least let equal justice prevail, that's all I ask

Again you're not answering my question.

Yes or no, please!!!

Nemesis0147:
let me tell you.
Sentiment aside…. There is nothing this woman will do that will him lock her up in a police cell….do you know what this means?
You think say na yankee u dy?
What about working out of the marriage or giving him space for the main time?

Have you been locked up in a cell before?
Do you know the dent it brings to your name?
Talk more of when it is coming from your wife.

You see ba…she has finished that man for life….even in front of his friends.

shantti:


so a one sided story is now called information at hand, we learn everyday.

I also gave my perspective from my personal experiences cos I too have seen where wicked wives frame their innocent husbands, making him suffer for something he knows nothing about

.... Does the woman sound like someone who wants to make her husband suffer?
Why don't you see it this way...
If indeed what she said is the right thing, then is her actions right or wrong?
I am basing my judgment based on the assumption that what the woman has said is the right thing.
If it happens that it's not, then I stand to be corrected when the truth comes out

Dareal90s:

Then tell her not to disturb us with it since it has been well handled by the law.

if you like beat your wife, na cell you go sleep for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her.

You should have contacted his family members, if your life was at stake flew with your children he would come back to his senses.

But locking him up is something else, you just add fuel to the fire.

UnfairLife7:
domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that

Of course domestic violence is a no,
I only asked u how u know she is saying the truth and you are saying a different thing all together

royalfly:
■ They are good men out there, the ones who are truly innocent, I speak for them. Men never hit ur wife, try as much as u can. But believe me ur species are in danger now with the way the world is. Do u know if a woman acusesses me of a crime and is found to be a lie, nothing happens, let me acusses a woman wringly and it's found to be a lie, that's the end. At least let equal justice prevail, that's all I ask

Stop rambling already! There is absolutely no excuse or justification for violence even in marriage. Simple! If you have poor social intelligence and are hence unable to relate to women as they are, then avoid them at all costs. In fact, marry a man if you must so you can have peace of men.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

If He cannot understand that you did it to defend yourself from His drunken self, then He is not ready to be responsible.

I am not in your shoes but I think you did a reasonable thing by reporting to the police. Or What other option did you have?

royalfly:


Lol.. no p... reas my post, but if a woman do anyhow let her see anyhow. Words maybe more painful for a a man but a slap on the wrist is the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman. My guy rest, osinachi this and that, we all know. Who u wan impress. Alot of men re ffff victims, u don't know

K.

You just said my mind.

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

UnfairLife7:
if you like beat your wife, na cell you go sleep for days. If your wife is too naive to stand for herself your neighbours will do that for her.

Where I come from we don't beat women. I spoke with u as a sensible gentleman, now you sound like a fouool. Use your brain for once, everything no be police. Now she's bearing the guilt and brunt alone, Unna don push am.

Clinghton:
■ You should have contacted his family members, if your life was at stake flew with your children he would come back to his senses. But locking him up is something else, you just add fuel to the fire.

So family members who probably live many miles away arrive faster in an emergency than the police?

Kobojunkie:
Stop with the inane deviations. You asked of Osinachi, and here again....

2. Which heaven? Na you open the door to this heaven for her abi wetin? The woman is there in her grave rotting away with worms abeg! All her singing, prayer, and fasting no comot pass her pastor roof sef.

God gave her a brain to use, but she refused to use it in saving herself from a man that used her as a punching bag for many years. Do you think God is some kind of mumu who would accept even the foolish into His own abode?

Follow through, I never asked for osinachi, he or u are the using osinachi as ultimate example. Once again if osinachi husband is wrong let him die by hanging, I repeat if he is wrong. U don't know what's going on. Most of us can't be fooled again.

thesicilian:
A man can feed his family for years and no one will hear about it. He's often proud to bear the responsibility. But the moment a woman starts bearing the responsibility, all hell must break loose, sooner or later

But the man has gone extreme by bearing the wife.
Verokeena, I don't condole abused in relationships whether from man or woman. Go and sort your home

UnfairLife7:
domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

I’m not talking about being in support of demotic violence…I won’t even allow a man touch my sister.
She should have walked out of the marriage or give him space….guy
The woman is feeling guilty bc she knows that what she did was not right….can you lock up your wife?

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him

your story never complete. Are you cheating on him?

Kobojunkie:
Stop fooling yourself! The moment you tailor the counseling to suit your religious/traditional idea, it ceases to be professional and becomes religious hogwash!

You are just ranting. Calm down and learn.
Go and read up on counselling. Peace

Dennisochampa:
...... So she die first before she cry out so that everyone will write rip for her on nairaland and attribute her death to domestic violence?
Bros I am judging based on the information I have at hand and also because of experiences where I've seen men vent frustration on their wives simply because they think the women are trying to be the head of the home because they don't have a job..... It's not uncommon these days to see men who act like this because they do not have a job

What happened to their family members?
Their friends?
Relatives?
Neighbors?
Etc

How come it was police straight?
Was she harboring an opportunity to "show him pepper" before now thereby asking for such a scenario to play out?

Has he ever beaten her before?
Have they ever involved a 3rd party in their home before now to resolve a dispute?

Is this a first timer situation?

If yes, how come it was police straight?

Was he a drunk and a smoker before losing his job?

Plenty questions that you guys have chosen to ignore.

Dareal90s:

Where I come from we don't beat women. I spoke with u as a sensible gentleman, now you sound like a fouool. Use your brain for once, everything no be police. Now she's bearing the guilt and brunt alone, Unna don push am.

like i said earlier, domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

Samantha124:
So what do you expect her to do? Endure the beatings?

She ought to have sort help but not from police.
I wouldn't even take my enemy there unless it's life threatening

UnfairLife7:
like i said earlier, domestic violence is a No. I do not care what led to that.

That's your problem.

Samantha124:
Again you're not answering my question.

Yes or no, please!!!

your question doesn’t require a yes or no answer…
But I will never lay my hands on my wife or lock her up in the police station.
What happened to taking her back to her people?
Or leaving the house for her?

Samantha124:
How would you feel if your wife broke your plates and started beating you up for not cooking after she spent the entire day getting drunk while you were at work working so that you can put food on the table?

I will feel bad but I won't give up on her. I will never give up on her because that's not how she was when we qot married. Something must be wrong, we'll figure it out 2geda. I hope I have answered ur question?