LadyRosa:
Some women dey try sha!

Whats fixcking attractive about a Jobless, drunk, vindictive and abusive husband?

The first mistake was apologising to him. I wouldn’t if I'm in your shoes. And I ain't leaving that station until he sign an undertaking with sureties.

If he feels he is too humiliated to continue a peaceful marriage, well, fine. Life goes on.

Jackanda1:
I'm shocked that you didn't condemn the husband who assaulted the wife. Instead, you're worried about her appeasing the husband and even begging with elders.

Why most of you women like to tolerate maltreatment is what i don't understand.

IFNOTGOD:



You have been on this thread commenting but if I may ask are u married?

Do u have any idea what it means for someone to who can afford anything to b broke.

No one us,supporting d actions of d man but people like u are d problem of d society.

Now u heard frm just d lady n u have been saying all manner of things like a goat in heat just for likes nentions.

Try to hear from both side before u rant

People like u believe men can b raped n it us normwl but when it is a woman it us abnormal


Are u even married to start with ?

Verokeena:



I have never ever nortured such thought.. I have endured countless insults and provocations..

What else could I have done.. ? Like I said I regret my actions but I just wished he had never touched me or raising his hands to the kids.. saying he doesn't even know if the kids were his.. since he lost his job it has been one issue to another.. but I try to see through his eyes .. to understand what he is going through..

I do not have excuse for my actions.. I just need a solution

Thanks for your contributions anyways

Procashtips:


Then why do you keep quoting me since you are still using assumption to judge?

People that use assumptions to judge cases are very foolish because i have seen such before until proven that their assumption was true.

It's a free world, just believe your assumption.

In the end, na she go still carry her cross and be in a loveless marriage if there's any left.

Jackanda1:
I'm shocked that you didn't condemn the husband who assaulted the wife. Instead, you're worried about her appeasing the husband and even begging with elders.

Why most of you women like to tolerate maltreatment is what i don't understand.

UnfairLife7:
women hardly assault their husband physical. I am a man so i know all these

shantti:


If what she said is true, divorce would have been the best option and not an arrest. That man no go forgive am.

Since she wasnt beaten to death as she was alive to facilitate an arrest, she should have facilitated a divorce, simply or call her brothers to beat him.

It is only kids and single ladies that are arguing about the dynamics of the correctness of her decision, they think reality is hollywood

Kobojunkiee:
Nigerian women are their own worst enemies.... I don talk am many many times for here.

While you have been on all pages ranting on and on without paying half attention to Op's desires.

Worst enemies indeed

Styluss:
If its worth reporting, they will, most nigerians values socio and cultural marriage standard than divorce. In contrast, 70% of Nigerian Men are not drunks and very hardworking unlike our counterparts in S.A. who protested for beer price during covid.

Femicide cases is on the low in Nigeria compared to SA. Ive been with an SA woman and I know how easy it is to die overthere. Your biggest cities have the highest crame rates in Africa.

BennyDGreat:


Right from your end but not the best for her.

She realized her error but it's late. She has to cope with the consequence. Never take action out of anger.

Dennisochampa:
.... Boss, in a civilized country, an arrest won't just be enough... He will be fined and jailed and prevented from seeing his kids until he gets a psychological evaluation.... Na who Dey alive dey divorce... Some men no need soft hand... That's why I maintain that if what she typed is true, then she did good..... If he no forgive her... He can move on... Marriage no be by force

Dogalmighty17:
You arrested and lucked up your husband for 2 days? No one is dumb here ma. No right thinking woman just suddenly locks up her husband. Was there food in the kitchen for him when he came home? Did you cook for yourself and just the children?

There are other crises resolution and mediation channels available to resolve issues within spouses. Did you explore any of them?

Madam kindly read what OP wrote, not just for reading sake. You lost 97% of this marriage. You wouldnt have allowed pride push it this far? Father of your children? Under same roof? Hell no! The drinking and smoking is the frustration that set in. Watch your mouth as well madam. I sure you have been making mockery of this man's situation. I pray God restores your home.
You most probably had nurtured this thought of locking your husband up for a while. You also most probably have mocked him in your actions and your words.

Madam, you don buy market o! I assure you of this, your husband will never forgive you. The day that man gets a job and finds his feet you will be the one begging for divorce.

I am not making excuses for him. Your husband is going through serious depression. No man wants to not be able to provide for his family. The present economy doesn't help at all. You could have handled the situation better.

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find another one.

Gandrova:
She did the right thing by locking her husband you said! I guess your mum too has ever locked your dad also

SonofGod231:

Congratulations, I just feel sorry of that clueless thwart that coincidentally married a cancer like you. Animal!

Samantha124:
I'm sorry to say this, but your husband is childish.

If he was my husband and he starts emotionally blackmailing me like that by refusing to leave those police cells... I was going to leave him there until the police kick him out, or until he decides to leave.

As long as I'd have apologized to him and explained the reason why I got him arrested, I'd have left him there with his childish tantrums.

Maybe it's because I don't tolerate nonsense.

shantti:


The marriage is already broken
What I find baffling is that when a wife assaults her husband, she is not condemned cos she is a woman? Will u say that such women too should be arrested cos they don't deserve soft hand

AgentKB:


I won't be surprised if this is coming from a single lady or a divorcee.

Dennisochampa:
.... Boss, I have seen women given restraining orders when they become violent or abusive in their marriages... Anyone who doesn't have the maturity to deal with marital issues without resulting to violence or aggressive behaviors have no business getting married in the first instance.... This applies to both men and women

capnies:


YOU JUMPED THE TRUTH, BECAUSE HE WAS JOBLESS YOU STARTED REFUSING HIM SEX; THAT'S WHAT LED TO THE DRINKING AND ERRATIC BEHAVIOUR. THIS IS THE MISTAKE 90% OF LADIES MAKE.

UnfairLife7:
trust me i understand what he's going through. I sincerely understand. I am not a married man but his condition isn't completely different from mine honestly. Or would you consider a graduate earning 20k with lots of dependants (old and young) gainfully employed? Did you know how unhappy and frustrated i am? I can't even had half of the money to myself. Would you expect me to hit my siblings or aged dependant because they're somewhat thorn on my flesh? Or i should be angry at them for giving birth to me in this harsh economy? Or you think they don't offend me in one way or the other? So destroying properties, getting drunk, hitting them will put an end to my worries right?

The worst that probably happened was that he returned home and met no food right? Was that the reason for all that actions? Do you know how many night I've gone to bed with empty stomach while my dependants had something to eat? Do you expect me to cut off their head for not keeping something down for me no matter how little?

I know you might want to say i am not married yet. I should get married first and all that. What makes you feel marriage will change who i am? Like marriage will suddenly make me a violence person?


I don't condole violence no matter the situation.

Samantha124:
It doesn't matter.

Is breaking things in the house and beating up your wife lawful?

Verokeena:
He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number. I don't just know what to do.

Samantha124:
Well, what he did was unlawful and if you ask me, you did the right thing by getting him arrested.

Let it be a warning to him that next time you wouldn't be lenient on him.... You can apologize to him for getting him arrested, but let him know that you don't appreciate what he did to you and you're not going to stand for it if he continues with his behavior.

It's not your fault that he lost his job and can't find
another one.

Verokeena:
Good afternoon Nl family
Please pardon my epistle

My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .

What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)

Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)

When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..

He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..

I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..

The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number

I don't just know what to do...


Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him