Me and this lady has been in a relationship for a year now, on January we had a fight thought she was having an affair with a friend so I confronted her it got rowdy but we settled..

I would say after that day our relationship hasn’t been the same but have I’ve all my best to merge things up

My reason for making this post, yesterday we got talking and she told me she is yet to recover from the issue we had in January that it left a big gap in her

I’m quite tired frankly even though I love her deeply I’m not just sure of what to do right now

Please your suggestions are welcome

Arrrrrrh

The question remains did she cheat on you with ray? If yes what are you still doing with her? Weak men harbour cheating partners. The possibility of a cheating lady doing it again is 80%.

My only advise for you be say, try take your babe go jamb or waec lesson so that go sabi use punctuation. Your babe dey quarrel with commas and full stop/period?

gaius01:
Arrrrrrh

The question remains did she cheat on you with ray? If yes what are you still doing with her? Weak men harbour cheating partners. The possibility of a cheating lady doing it again is 80%.

No she didn’t

Lalami3232:

My only advise for you be say, try take your babe go jamb or waec lesson so that go sabi use punctuation. Your babe dey quarrel with commas and full stop/period?

Baba wetin be your problem if you no get wetin to talk waka pass Abeg

It seems she still like you but she's weighing her options now.

In my opinion, you two need to stay off contact for like 3 months and see. Let every party stay alone, think and re think about the relationship. After that, the two of you should sit down, reevaluate things and see if both parties really want the relationship to continue. If yes, then you can start afresh.

If the two of you agree to it, then set rules.

This una chat dey give me headache. Don't u guys use punctuation marks

Lalami3232:

My only advise for you be say, try take your babe go jamb or waec lesson so that go sabi use punctuation. Your babe dey quarrel with commas and full stop/period?

They both finish from the same school.

Bradford111:
Me and this lady has been in a relationship for a year now, on January we had a fight thought you was having an affair with a friend so I confronted her it got rowdy but we settled..

I would say after that day our relationship hasn’t been the same but have tried all my best to merge things up

My reason for making this post, yesterday we got talking and she told me she is yet to recover from the issue we had in January that it left a big gap in her

I’m quite tired frankly even though I love her deeply I’m not just sure of what to do right now

Please your suggestions are welcome

My opinion is that if she cannot learn to discuss issues or quarrel and move on, then you don't have any business being in a relationship with her. Talk things over with her. Make her understand the important of misunderstanding in every human relationship. Where there is no misunderstanding then there will be no understanding.

I am only seeing emotional blackmail here. Nothing else.

gaius01:
Arrrrrrh

The question remains did she cheat on you with ray? If yes what are you still doing with her? Weak men harbour cheating partners. The possibility of a cheating lady doing it again is 80%.

99.9%

From your post and chat, I deduced the following:

1. You love her more than she loves you and she knows that. She's not into you but you're forcing things.

2. From her litttle responses, she's trying to manipulate you with Emotion making you feel you were wrong and she was right.

3. You have trust issues, you don't have evidences and you're acting weak.

4. You are giving her excess control over you by being emotional here instead of being logical and smarter.
Women act smart but you should be smarter as a man to have good relationships with women now and in the future.

5. She's very much comfortable and relaxed while you are acting defensive. Something that is supposed to be the other way round. This is a bad move by a man.

Relationship is work but for your sanity and peace of mind, take time to understand yourself first before trying to understand how the female gender operates. Based on her response, she behaves like someone who has nothing to lose if the relationship ends.

Have a healthy control in your relationship as the male, your leadership and control should be with positive results generally. Women respect men who can lead them rightly in every aspect without being egotistically bossy.

To lead effortlessly and exercise control over a woman, you need to understand male and female psychology and this is easy if you've females around you why growing up but unfortunately, some men don't take time to understand why men and women do things differently in the same and opposing situations.

fyzaila:
It seems she still like you but she's weighing her options now.

In my opinion, you two need to stay off contact for like 3 months and see. Let every party stay alone, think and re think about the relationship. After that, the two of you should sit down, reevaluate things and see if both parties really want the relationship to continue. If yes, then you can start afresh.

If the two of you agree to it, then set rules.

When you say “weighing her options” what do you mean by that please?

Who get strength for relationship this days sef.

Una dey try sha....

So long as u guys are not married and the foundation is shaky like this. Bounce

Nlfpmode please post to font page for a wider audience

She is confused between u and ur deputy...
As man you no suppose create a thread because of a cheat who want to leave.....
A man should be the one to dumb any olosho and irresponsible girlfriend.

Bradford111:


No she didn’t

You better dump that girl and move on with your life.. girls full everywhere

talented321:
She is confused between u and ur deputy...
As man you no suppose create a thread because of a cheat who want to leave.....
A man should be the one to dumb any olosho and irresponsible girlfriend.

Unfortunately, SIMPS have taken over nairaland. You'll see thousands and thousands of threads created by simp men either "crying and lamenting on how their girlfriend dumped them" or seeking help whether or not to dump their girlfriend. Yet you hardly see a girl creating threads as regards this. They're so smart that they're keeping their options open should in case they find a more richer guy, they'll quickly dump their current simp boyfriends ASAP.

SIMPs are curse to our society

StrongAlphMale:


Unfortunately, SIMPS have taken over nairaland. You'll see thousands and thousands of threads created by simp men either "crying and lamenting on how their girlfriend dumped them" or seeking help whether or not to dump their girlfriend. Yet you hardly see a girl creating threads as regards this. They're so smart that they're keeping their options open should in case they find a more richer guy, they'll quickly dump their current simp boyfriends ASAP.

SIMPs are curse to our society

this men keep on bringing the male gender backward everyday''

No gree for her formality...

That banny wanna guilt trip you into believing you're the one who was at fault.......

Fear bannies.

Lalami3232:

My only advise for you be say, try take your babe go jamb or waec lesson so that go sabi use punctuation. Your babe dey quarrel with commas and full stop/period?

. Life ain't that serious bro....... Sometimes let's just learn how to be more casual.........

So long he understands whatever she sent to him,no problem........

Break up as fast as possible bro. This lady wants to camp to to trusting her without being able to express yourself how you feel like. I see nothing wrong in communicating your insecurities at any point baba. If she can't move on since January she can never move on again nd no time for nonsense. See this unforgiveness is her fall back reason to be able to break up with you when she's ready to move on don't dull. I particulaly hate bitches like this one with passion

And note: if u have to come to nairaland to inquire whether to break up then obviously the relationship is no longer healthy for you. There are more less rigid minded ladies out there baba

After going through the chats, I can confidently tell you that girl cheated on you with Ray.

She's insisting on "trust issues"...why should a sane man trust a woman? Even the Holy Book said "Trust in the Lord".

That girl is manipulating you emotionally and you're too daft to decipher that.

Bradford111:


When you say “weighing her options” what do you mean by that please?

It is like she has a list in her mind where she's comparing your good and bad sides. She isn't ready to commit into the relationship again so she's finding her way out.

The two of you need to sit down face 2 face and have a serious conversation.

MEGA4BILLION:
I am only seeing emotional blackmail here. Nothing else.

Pure blackmail...she's just manipulating and twisting and making wateva the guy said look bigger than it is...

Notice where she said "u called me a bitch" .. fine thats painfuk.....and then she went from there and added her family to it, saying what that means is that she wasnt brought up well... hahahahahaha....

U see why when a woman claim a man raped her...even if he didnt, it doesnt matter... its true in her own mind because she has created a scenario in her subconscious to make it true..

Any man wey no fear woman for 23.5 hrs out of the 24hrs in a day is playing with his life

When I was unmarried, I would laugh and have enough fun with the female friend I was dating then, and she would assume I loved her more than anything. Immediately she starts misbehaving, I withdraw like there had never been any love between us. She would be wondering and asking me, " harsysky, don't you love me at all?". My response to her would be, " I love you but not more than myself. When a relationship is not giving, It drains my energy to reciprocate. If you are tired of me, the door is always open" . Her head would be correct to know that the way I give is equally the way I take.

advanceDNA:


Pure blackmail...she's just manipulating and twisting and making wateva the guy said look bigger than it is...

Notice where she said "u called me a bitch" .. fine thats painfuk.....and then she went from there and added her family to it, saying what that means is that she wasnt brought up well... hahahahahaha....

U see why when a woman claim a man raped her...even if he didnt, it doesnt matter... its true in her own mind because she has created a scenario in her subconscious to make it true..

Any man wey no fear woman for 23.5 hrs out of the 24hrs in a day is playing with his life

No dey jonse, and stop this shit of fear woman.. who are women that they should be feared.

harsysky:
When I was unmarried, I would laugh and have enough fun with the female friend I was dating then, and she would assume I loved her more than anything. Immediately she starts misbehaving, I withdraw like there had never been any love between us. She would be wondering and asking me, " harsysky, don't you love me at all?". My response to her would be, " I love you but not more than myself. When a relationship is not giving, It drains my energy to reciprocate. If you are tired of me, the door is always open" . Her head would be correct to know that the way I give is equally the way I take.

This is a very healthy mentality you have.

She is cheating

Vyzz:
She is cheating

That’s what I’m thinking too maybe right