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Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me - Family - Nairaland

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Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Afodot0022(m): 3:37pm On Aug 26, 2023
Top of the day to you my nairaland family. After i got seperated from my wife, its 8 months now and i decided to go into the dating scene again,i meet this girl almost two months now and she has been a very good and cool girl. We have been vibing well and the relationship has been sailing well not until 2 days ago that we had a minor misunderstanding and till now, we both have not been in communicating term. It happens that we were gisting and she brought a story about what happened in her office, she told me one of her colleague used the picture they both snap together as status on whatsapp and from their someone told his colleague that he has interest in her. She now mentioned a statement that got me worried, i asked her a question which i cant remember now and she said well she doesn't know yet if she is going to like the guy or not, i ask her what she meant by that statement cos that statement means alot, does it mean if she met the guy and she likes him she might eventually dates him or what. Since i met her, i have been noticing she has beeb in communication with some other guys which i dont have an issues with cos fine we just met and definitely she has met other dudes before not until recently that we start dating officially. That was the question i asked her and she couldn't give me any exact reply, she stood up after a while and left my place angrily which she does anytime we have our conflict. Ever since then she has not communicate with me and neither have i also cos i feel like i have been the one keeping the relationship alive and as it is now, i dont care if it sinks or not. I believe if she truely loves me and care about me , she will reach out to me knowing the fact that her statement was totally wrong, if she values and respect me, she wont say that knowing how i will feel. Now my question to you guys is that, did i overreacted by ignoring her too and not talking to her, wont i look like a simp to her and might henceforth take advantage of that been that she is the one that supposed to apologize for that statement and she still not doing so. Pls house just tell me if am wrong at this and how to make amends.
Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by anthonyuncle(m): 3:42pm On Aug 26, 2023
she was using you to warm up

10 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Solofresh2: 4:03pm On Aug 26, 2023
Well saying she don't know if she will like the guy or not does not mean she is will stop dating you or she won't like you again. If you don't like her attitude you should talk to her about it and if she does not change, you go your separate ways

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 4:08pm On Aug 26, 2023
Let her go she's not for you.
Stop trying to fix the unfixable

13 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 4:20pm On Aug 26, 2023
You are a father of two girls that got separated 8 months ago. Loving you would not stop the young girl from reasoning well. Love is not enough. She would have her doubts and she would show them.


She would also weigh her options before settling to be a stepmother to two kids of an average income earner. When she hasn't even added her own kids to the mix.

There has to be some very marketable qualities you possess. Else that young lady would keep doing what she did and telling you about it.

No, you didn't overreact.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Offpointng: 4:34pm On Aug 26, 2023
Afodot0022 You did not overreact and you should only beg her if she's the one feeding you, housing you and buys the clothes you wear

The minute you do mistake calling her to Apologise, you're almost finished bro cuz she'd take Advantage of you over and over again. You're a King and ya gonna do just great

But this life nawa o, Person wey get head no get fīlá and person wey get fila no get head. When me I dey pray make i get just a pikin or two from a woman and she walk tf out of my life for good and gimme the chance to cater for my kids myself and I'm done with anything that wears skirt for good, Op got just what I'm praying for and still want to date another woman, why??

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Obiedun(m): 4:54pm On Aug 26, 2023
anthonyuncle:
she was using you to warm up
But according to him both of them were joking
Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Sonnobax15(m): 5:10pm On Aug 26, 2023
lipsrsealed
It's very obvious she's only trying to keep you in place like an option just like she's been keeping the others...

The moment you guys started dating officially,she was supposed to cut off ties with every other guy, whether they met before you or not............. That's what we call respect in relationship......

Let her be.....Banny wey get sense suppose know say na she dey at fault,and she suppose do the needful which is by calling to apologize to you...And not by forming bossy undecided

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 5:28pm On Aug 26, 2023
You are a single father, so "simping" is expected of you. You shouldn't even term going extra mile as simping,you are not allowed to use that word. You have two baggages already and you are not tear rubber self. Only God knows the reason for the separation 🤷

Anyways to your predicament, this lady is yet to conclude on you. As for emotional attachment on her part, she's not there yet.
She's a very good and cool girl, those qualities should be given to the best of the best so don't be angry she's taking her time. Good things don't come easy.

I'd suggest you let her be. She will be back if she wants you.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 5:41pm On Aug 26, 2023
Persephone1:
You are a single father, so "simping" is expected of you. You shouldn't even term going extra mile as simping,you are not allowed to use that word. You have two baggages already and you are not tear rubber self. Only God knows the reason for the separation 🤷

Anyways to your predicament, this lady is yet to conclude on you. As for emotional attachment on her part, she's not there yet.
She's a very good and cool girl, those qualities should be given to the best of the best so don't be angry she's taking her time. Good things don't come easy.

I'd suggest you let her be. She will be back if she wants you.

Wetin be this? grin

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Styluss: 6:39pm On Aug 26, 2023
Oh, now i understand that love is basically transactional for the lots of you!
So settling down with an average income earner with 2 kids is different from settling down with an higer income earner with 5 kids!
You guys are just loyal to your feelings. no love.

pocohantas:
You are a father of two girls that got separated 8 months ago. Loving you would not stop the young girl from reasoning well. Love is not enough. She would have her doubts and she would show them.


She would also weigh her options before settling to be a stepmother to two kids of an average income earner. When she hasn't even added her own kids to the mix.

There has to be some very marketable qualities you possess. Else that young lady would keep doing what she did and telling you about it.

No, you didn't overreact.

3 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 6:39pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Wetin be this? grin
Op thinks good and cool girl comes easy because he's a man grin. He want better thing 🤣.

He should go and look for a single mother or widower grin

3 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 6:54pm On Aug 26, 2023
Persephone1:
Op thinks good and cool girl comes easy because he's a man grin. He want better thing 🤣.He should go and look for a single mother or widower grin

His brother above is looking for non-transactional love. Very deluded set that wants the best, but remember transactional when they are vetted. Make e go follow redpiller sister. Men age like wine indeed. grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 7:06pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:




His brother above is looking for non-transactional lots. Very deluded set that wants the best, but remember transactional when they are vetted.

Men age like wine indeed. grin grin
it is either English is disturbing that one or he is delusional. So a lady should marry an average income earning man with two kids without checking his ability to provide for additional kids coming from her. These guys are the same preaching that women shouldn't marry or date base on love but how much he can provide. Never seen a more confused lots.

Obviously reality is always different. grin grin

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 7:10pm On Aug 26, 2023
Persephone1:
it is either English is disturbing that one or he is delusional. So a lady should marry an average income earning man with two kids without checking his ability to provide for additional kids coming from her. These guys are the same preaching that women shouldn't marry or date base on love but how much he can provide. Never seen a more confused lots.

Obviously reality is always different. grin grin

Yes na. Unto non-transactional love. Any small thing they will throw in "transactional" all in a bid to guilt-trip women. Like they weren't transactional while looking for young submissive and homely women. We draw the line on provision. grin

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 7:22pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Yes na. Unto non-transactional love. Any small thing they will throw in "transactional" all in a bid to guilt-trip women. Like they weren't transactional while looking for young submissive and homely women. We draw the line on provision. grin
He should give Op his sister nah grin grin

And he dey pain them well well grin grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 7:27pm On Aug 26, 2023
Persephone1:
He should give Op his sister nah grin grin

And he dey pain them well well grin grin

Na wetin e suppose do o. Make this nonsense girl stop to feel herself. Do it for the brotherhood.

3 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by tundebasic(m): 8:31pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Yes na. Unto non-transactional love. Any small thing they will throw in "transactional" all in a bid to guilt-trip women. Like they weren't transactional while looking for young submissive and homely women. We draw the line on provision. grin
Maybe there's something I am missing here. But, what is transactional about looking for a young, homely, and submissive woman? You mean a man should marry just any woman, or a man should marry an old, defiant, and unwelcoming woman?
What is transactional about being young? Everyone was young at one time or the other....

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 8:39pm On Aug 26, 2023
tundebasic:
Maybe there's something I am missing here. But, what is transactional about looking for a young, homely, and submissive woman? You mean a man should marry just any woman, or a man should marry an old, defiant, and unwelcoming woman?
What is transactional about being young? Everyone was young at one time or the other....

Neither is anything wrong in a woman looking for a provider male. She shouldn't just marry any old, struggling or unproductive man. Thank you

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 8:43pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Na wetin e suppose do o. Make this nonsense girl stop to feel herself. Do it for the brotherhood.
Very simple sturv grin cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by tundebasic(m): 8:56pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Neither is anything wrong in a woman looking for a provider male. She shouldn't just marry any old, struggling or unproductive man. Thank you
Why not? She should continue looking for her provider male, and the male looking for a younger woman.

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 9:03pm On Aug 26, 2023
tundebasic:
Why not? She should continue looking for her provider male, and the male looking for a younger woman.

Exactly what you should have understood before your initial mention to save everyone time. wink

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by tundebasic(m): 9:14pm On Aug 26, 2023
pocohantas:


Exactly what you should have understood before your initial mention to save everyone time. wink
You are the one not understanding me. You are equating being young to provision. How would you equate them?
I understand that choices are choices, but being young (the requirements for a woman) cannot be equated with being able to provide (the requirements from men).
Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by pocohantas(f): 9:15pm On Aug 26, 2023
tundebasic:
You are the one not understanding me. You are equating being young to provision. How would you equate them?
k

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by eazzzy1(m): 9:27pm On Aug 26, 2023
She doesn’t take you seriously, you should start seeing her as an option too. If she’s good company you can keep enjoying her company while you look for the love of your life.

Personally, I can’t deal with disrespectful people, if you walk out on me for any reason just keep walking.

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by ahnie: 9:38pm On Aug 26, 2023
Persephone1:
You are a single father, so "simping" is expected of you. You shouldn't even term going extra mile as simping,you are not allowed to use that word. You have two baggages already and you are not tear rubber self. Only God knows the reason for the separation 🤷

Anyways to your predicament, this lady is yet to conclude on you. As for emotional attachment on her part, she's not there yet.
She's a very good and cool girl, those qualities should be given to the best of the best so don't be angry she's taking her time. Good things don't come easy.

I'd suggest you let her be. She will be back if she wants you.
Kai perse....when you begin dey puff?
cheesy

1 Like

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by anthonyuncle(m): 10:02pm On Aug 26, 2023
Obiedun:
But according to him both of them were joking

hers' was different
Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by chidiokay: 11:18pm On Aug 26, 2023
Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you my nairaland family. After i got seperated from my wife, its 8 months now and i decided to go into the dating scene again,i meet this girl almost two months now and she has been a very good and cool girl. We have been vibing well and the relationship has been sailing well not until 2 days ago that we had a minor misunderstanding and till now, we both have not been in communicating term. It happens that we were gisting and she brought a story about what happened in her office, she told me one of her colleague used the picture they both snap together as status on whatsapp and from their someone told his colleague that he has interest in her. She now mentioned a statement that got me worried, i asked her a question which i cant remember now and she said well she doesn't know yet if she is going to like the guy or not, i ask her what she meant by that statement cos that statement means alot, does it mean if she met the guy and she likes him she might eventually dates him or what. Since i met her, i have been noticing she has beeb in communication with some other guys which i dont have an issues with cos fine we just met and definitely she has met other dudes before not until recently that we start dating officially. That was the question i asked her and she couldn't give me any exact reply, she stood up after a while and left my place angrily which she does anytime we have our conflict. Ever since then she has not communicate with me and neither have i also cos i feel like i have been the one keeping the relationship alive and as it is now, i dont care if it sinks or not. I believe if she truely loves me and care about me , she will reach out to me knowing the fact that her statement was totally wrong, if she values and respect me, she wont say that knowing how i will feel. Now my question to you guys is that, did i overreacted by ignoring her too and not talking to her, wont i look like a simp to her and might henceforth take advantage of that been that she is the one that supposed to apologize for that statement and she still not doing so. Pls house just tell me if am wrong at this and how to make amends.


You communicated, which is normal so i won't say that is wrong buh for your woman to desire you the way you want you have to be exceptional, "norms" don't cut it.
Feeling threatened by a stranger your babe havent met yet is enough boost for the guy image in your babe head .. jealousy, insecurity are things you need to quash to stay on top

Since you feel you are the one keeping the the r/ship alive, let her be and stop thinking of amends cos a one sided r/ship is a complete waste of time.

2 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by Nobody: 11:53pm On Aug 26, 2023
For someone who had what looked like a troubled marriage (according to your previous threads), before you find the next woman you're supposed to sit down and reflect on what happened in your marriage, the things you overlooked before the marriage, and what you want to do differently with the next woman (such as making sure you're compatible, and making sure she's interested in you before dating or committing so you don't waste your time and repeat history). You obviously haven't done any of that.

Moreover, your best bet now is to find a divorcee like yourself. You've two kids, hence the women you should be going after are divorced women or single mothers who also have kids like you. The way some of you single fathers chase after single, childfree ladies get as e be.

4 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by sisisioge: 12:53am On Aug 27, 2023
Oga you've been through too much to get screwed again. Didnt you learn anything from your past relationship? It is well with you fa.

2 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by ecolime(m): 5:49am On Aug 27, 2023
The girl is codedly letting you know you are not her type. She wants something better.


My own advise:

Single (never married) guys and ladies should marry themselves.

Divorced, widows & widowers should also marry themselves.

Poor should marry poor

Rich should marry rich


Everyone after his or her kind.

Simple

2 Likes

Re: Would She Has Said This If She Truely Care And Love Me by UnfairLife7(m): 6:28am On Aug 27, 2023
Styluss:
Oh, now i understand that love is basically transactional for the lots of you!
So settling down with an average income earner with 2 kids is different from settling down with an higer income earner with 5 kids!
You guys are just loyal to your feelings. no love.

stop being hypocritical guy

Would you allow your sister settle down with a father of 2 as an average earner? You keep on harming on LOVE like you don't know love alone isn't a decider factor in marriage or even friendship.


It is even fair she go for a young guy with no kids even if he's an average earner. For a young girl to marry a man with 2 kids then the man must worth it.

3 Likes 1 Share

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