I am married to a perfect husband even with all my flaws from a young age ,we have been married for seven years with out children together.
At 16+ in my sss3 got pregnant and gave birth for my class mate,as an only child my mum stood there for me so I can have the child and continue my education with out interaction.she took care of her like her child and she grew up to see me as a sister.the father later travel to Europe so was completely out of her life until she turned 16years.
After my university by then I was 21+, I started a business, then I was feeling alone,a guy came along and started pestering me for a relationship at first I saw no future with him but the thing he did amazes me like this guy can follow me home each day,stay outside my gate till like 2am each day and alone too and wasn't getting tired.

this is incomplete

So I gave in, his house wasn't far from my shop and it was is parents compound and he was almost at his final year.so I helped him out financially till he graduated because he was planning to settle down with me.as soon as he graduated I found out I was pregnant for him and he knows fully well is his,he pleaded I abort it but I refuse because I needed a companion and I was ready to take full responsibility since I already graduated. During this process I couldn't continue with my business all I did was to save up for my unborn child.

Please guys read till the end because am in a great dilemma.

Mamadf:
So I gave in, his house wasn't far from my shop and it was is parents compound and he was almost at his final year.so I helped him out financially till he graduated because he was planning to settle down with me.as soon as he graduated I found out I was pregnant for him and he knows fully well is his,he pleaded I abort it but I refuse because I needed a companion and I was ready to take full responsibility since I already graduated. During this process I couldn't continue with my business all I did was to save up for my unborn child.

Please guys read till the end because am in a great dilemma.

I make sure to save enough,so this guy was telling me he wants to go to Ghana,compare to me then he was from a poor background.
He said his friends was traveling and making it in Ghana that I should help him with money but I told him my dream now is to have a settle home because I already first had a child now this he keep promising me not to worry.
My mind was just to have safe delivery first, although the family some of them accepted us the others don't I managed because that's how they are towards each other.
God could have it I gave birth successfully though operation that I almost lost my life and spent 500k as at 2012 . Originally saving this money for uk japa then uk doesn't have any down payment for tuition. The reminder money I assisted him to travel to Ghana
That's where my struggle started.

Following.....

Done reading

These are some of the reasons why men run from single mother. You come with baggages.

Divided attention....

See the way you always say, he want sex as if truely u own him sex.

Mamadf:


I make sure to save enough,so this guy was telling me he wants to go to Ghana,compare to me then he was from a poor background.
He said his friends was traveling and making it in Ghana that I should help him with money but I told him my dream now is to have a settle home because I already first had a child now this he keep promising me not to worry.
My mind was just to have safe delivery first, although the family some of them accepted us the others don't I managed because that's how they are towards each other.
God could have it I gave birth successfully though operation that I almost lost my life and spent 500k as at 2012 . Originally saving this money for uk japa then uk doesn't have any down payment for tuition. The reminder money I assisted him to travel to Ghana
That's where my struggle started.

All this while I have been living under my mother's roof, though I pay for the apartment.
I lost my dad at 13years, since then I don't have who to advice me of bring me in the right track,the only thing I hear the girl know book na intelligent girl,yet I needed to learn from others mistakes but I kept learning from my own mistakes.
Reality of my life began after this man as left for Ghana,not knowing while I was spending all this money I was heading to poverty, I even bought a laptop for him then. I was nursing my baby I couldn't eat,take good care of my self,it was hell.poverty narrow my thinking that I could go any extend to feed but mark you I didn't cheat with my body.
I suffered for one good year eating from hand to mouth until this guy return from GH.

Mamadf:


All this while I have been living under my mother's roof, though I pay for the apartment.
I lost my dad at 13years, since then I don't have who to advice me of bring me in the right track,the only thing I hear the girl know book na intelligent girl,yet I needed to learn from others mistakes but I kept learning from my own mistakes.
Reality of my life began after this man as left for Ghana,not knowing while I was spending all this money I was heading to poverty, I even bought a laptop for him then. I was nursing my baby I couldn't eat,take good care of my self,it was hell.poverty narrow my thinking that I could go any extend to feed but mark you I didn't cheat with my body.
I suffered for one good year eating from hand to mouth until this guy return from GH.

With so much hope,my guy return home with nothing o,he told me suffer too much for Accra, say he go start to dey press for naija say he go make am.i woke one day say I got to be real with my self mark you I was actually living in upper class residential area and I was suffering so I went to near by local market pick some kids bags pleaded with a provision shop guy and started selling it in his shop.
Soon I started going to Lagos ,then cotonou,then togo then money has value
Along the line the provision shop guy went back to school and sold the shop to me.
Then my guy they flex town,me when be what's up babe I because local okrika seller .
No problem but one thing he was doing is that he comes around for sexs ,food,money and nothing else.
Then I could do UK visa no money to run it myself but I assisted two people in my hood with the procedure and they are multi millionaires that's aside.
Along running my business and taking care of my child alone I got over stress on a good day I returned from togo just to find my self fainting and landed in the hospital and in coma too
For like two weeks I was in a coma and I saw things ,my mom has given thought she has lost her child, another thing that also make matter worse was that the hospital was feeding me drip that was against my blood,they found out later and change all the treatment before I could wake up one faithful morning only to see my self look like one old woman with out flesh. It took me time to return to myself.

Life..... Sorry dear

Mamadf:

With so much hope,my guy return home with nothing o,he told me suffer too much for Accra, say he go start to dey press for naija say he go make am.i woke one day say I got to be real with my self mark you I was actually living in upper class residential area and I was suffering so I went to near by local market pick some kids bags pleaded with a provision shop guy and started selling it in his shop.
Soon I started going to Lagos ,then cotonou,then togo then money has value
Along the line the provision shop guy went back to school and sold the shop to me.
Then my guy they flex town,me when be what's up babe I because local okrika seller .
No problem but one thing he was doing is that he comes around for sexs ,food,money and nothing else.
Then I could do UK visa no money to run it myself but I assisted two people in my hood with the procedure and they are multi millionaires that's aside.
Along running my business and taking care of my child alone I got over stress on a good day I returned from togo just to find my self fainting and landed in the hospital and in coma too
For like two weeks I was in a coma and I saw things ,my mom has given thought she has lost her child, another thing that also make matter worse was that the hospital was feeding me drip that was against my blood,they found out later and change all the treatment before I could wake up one faithful morning only to see my self look like one old woman with out flesh. It took me time to return to myself.

When I got better this guy has returned again but I said he give me time then the only option na to seek for the face of God with a pure heart,I encountered so many false pastors until I met a lady that told me that God is sending some one to me, that this man I am with is not my husband,I should tell him off,I say madam I no they talk of man no good I dey seek for.
So the woman came to my house on a day and he ask me to call my baby dad,as I am about to he arrives on his own,that's on new year day 2015. He ask him his plan for me he said he doesn't want to marry me in the present of my mum. He left I was heart broken and I cried alot. But I had to accept the truth but do you know he kept coming to me secretly that we have child together that we should still be having sex and I said no severally,I decided to move my mum and two kids to a smaller apartment around the same area that was when I started finding peace.
I stayed away so did he, I was able to join a small church that is very calm , and reserve my first time there I was like this people too quiet oo because devil na violent man that was February of the same year. It was there all my prayer was getting answer one by one with out me raising my hand or struggling.
November of it my husband proposed,he his seven years older than me,this man no know any woman till our wedding night.
His family told me I was like God honoured me with a responsible man after my gbas gbos life,so I quietly stayed cool,this man marry with him money,I no spend any dime,took me and my girls in,that's how I was blessed with a Christian home.

"It was there all my prayer was getting answer one by one with out me raising my hand or struggling."

Nice one! That's how God does his things

Another sad love story

Mamadf:


When I got better this guy has returned again but I said he give me time then the only option na to seek for the face of God with a pure heart,I encountered so many false pastors until I met a lady that told me that God is sending some one to me, that this man I am with is not my husband,I should tell him off,I say madam I no they talk of man no good I dey seek for.
So the woman came to my house on a day and he ask me to call my baby dad,as I am about to he arrives on his own,that's on new year day 2015. He ask him his plan for me he said he doesn't want to marry me in the present of my mum. He left I was heart broken and I cried alot. But I had to accept the truth but do you know he kept coming to me secretly that we have child together that we should still be having sex and I said no severally,I decided to move my mum and two kids to a smaller apartment around the same area that was when I started finding peace.
I stayed away so did he, I was able to join a small church that is very calm , and reserve my first time there I was like this people too quiet oo because devil na violent man that was February of the same year. It was there all my prayer was getting answer one by one with out me raising my hand or struggling.
November of it my husband proposed,he his seven years older than me,this man no know any woman till our wedding night.
His family told me I was like God honoured me with a responsible man after my gbas gbos life,so I quietly stayed cool,this man marry with him money,I no spend any dime,took me and my girls in,that's how I was blessed with a Christian home.

So I still went to invite this man for the marriage and he said the thing pain am sha but make we do one last sex.
Fast-forward to one year after my marriage he said he wants to take the child from me and I refuse God could have it we were blessed with a land in the next town so we relocated.
Now my hubby took care of my kids like his own the senior one graduated from secondary school two years back out of excitement I posted her waec result only for the uncle her dad elder brother to come down and started showering with expensive gifts like Iphones,money and the rest . The father in Europe started having direct contact with her give large amount of money,my daughter losses focus of school It was add to help her entering university,she takes advises from her dad that's uneducated,she has loses focus on education.
Not quite long he sent 5iphones and Samsung and perfumes and clothing,this girl only has respect for who is sending her money.
Myself and hubby are living averagely we have two rental properties and we are giving the kids good upbringing I wish I didn't give him direct access everything would have been in check and control. Right now we are more like friends than mother and daughter, she is 18 now and I am 34years.

Mamadf:

So I still went to invite this man for the marriage and he said the thing pain am sha but make we do one last sex.
Fast-forward to one year after my marriage he said he wants to take the child from me and I refuse God could have it we were blessed with a land in the next town so we relocated.
Now my hubby took care of my kids like his own the senior one graduated from secondary school two years back out of excitement I posted her waec result only for the uncle her dad elder brother to come down and started showering with expensive gifts like Iphones,money and the rest . The father in Europe started having direct contact with her give large amount of money,my daughter losses focus of school It was add to help her entering university,she takes advises from her dad that's uneducated,she has loses focus on education.
Not quite long he sent 5iphones and Samsung and perfumes and clothing,this girl only has respect for who is sending her money.
Myself and hubby are living averagely we have two rental properties and we are giving the kids good upbringing I wish I didn't give him direct access everything would have been in check and control. Right now we are more like friends than mother and daughter, she is 18 now and I am 34years.

Fast forward to last month I have just myself ,my darling hubby and daughter doing our thing since na holiday we said chill out in benin republic for a week if we find anything reasonable we can do it will be a plus, unluckily we met my ex in my former area,and he saw our daughter and this guy started pressuring me seriously that he wants to be in his daughter life,he has a family now with two kids but still unmarried,still living in his family compound though his elder sister was lucky to go to America and has rebuild their house and established him the little way she can.
But he's still a yahoo boy I don't want to associate my self or my child to indecent life,also if my daughter go to his place she will been seen as the daughter from another woman.

Mamadf:

Fast forward to last month I have just myself ,my darling hubby and daughter doing our thing since na holiday we said chill out in benin republic for a week if we find anything reasonable we can do it will be a plus, unluckily we met my ex in my former area,and he saw our daughter and this guy started pressuring me seriously that he wants to be in his daughter life,he has a family now with two kids but still unmarried,still living in his family compound though his elder sister was lucky to go to America and has rebuild their house and established him the little way she can.
But he's still a yahoo boy I don't want to associate my self or my child to indecent life,also if my daughter go to his place she will been seen as the daughter from another woman.

My daughter was a small when I get married she knows me as her mother and hubby has her real dad.
Because we call other people Dady sometime she feels is just ordinary name,my mum landlord is daddy landlord so when we say him I introduced him as daddy,he didn't even recognize her.
My family is complete,this guy is ill-mannered and doesn't have respect that I am married, like he doesn't know his bordering,my daughter is happy and I love her so much I wanted her from the beginning unlike him.
He has been pestering me on phone,I could easily off my phone and relocate but I don't want to be in the wrong so I need your suggestions I am not a bad person but I don't want to have anything to do with this guy and I just want to focus on my peace ful marriage,so what can I do, because this guy one give me hbp,thank you all for taking time out to read, thanks.

Mamadf:
I am married to a perfect husband even with all my flaws from a young age ,we have been married for seven years with out children together.
At 16+ in my sss3 got pregnant and gave birth for my class mate,as an only child my mum stood there for me so I can have the child and continue my education with out interaction.she took care of her like her child and she grew up to see me as a sister.the father later travel to Europe so was completely out of her life until she turned 16years.
After my university by then I was 21+, I started a business, then I was feeling alone,a guy came along and started pestering me for a relationship at first I saw no future with him but the thing he did amazes me like this guy can follow me home each day,stay outside my gate till like 2am each day and alone too and wasn't getting tired.

Am doing my business from home so I can focus on her ,I am giving her proper home training,my hubby sends her to a good and expensive school,she is shubby and eats well.
Even my hubby can not live without her once she is on holiday in my mum's place.
I don't know if this guy wants to ruin my marriage . My second daughter is now 11years old,she has a age difference of 7years with her elder sister,if it's you guys what will you do.

...

Not much option than to allow your exes into their daughter's lives. There is not much you can do here. If you were able to birth for your present hubby you would not be too worried about your 2 daughters.

You are indeed blessed.

I live in my personal house now, should I relocate a bit far from here,and rent out my apartment, right na cotonou that's in my mind

Mamadf:
I live in my personal house now, should I relocate a bit far from here,and rent out my apartment, right na cotonou that's in my mind

So you want to abandon your marriage and run away because of your ex?

Nadingo:
So you want to abandon your marriage and run away because of your ex?

No just relocate, I am confuse just need reasonal suggestions I can advise my self with.

Hmmmm
This story get as e be
But in all, be strong.
Vengeance belong to God.

Ask the Goodman you are married to now what you should do.
He stepped in and filled the empty shoes those deadbeats left.
He deserves to be heard.
Situations like this make men wary of marrying single moms.The drama is endless.

But in the end,like I always say,as long as their father is alive,never take on the burden alone.They will surely crawl back from the crevices whether you like it or not and the children most times will dissapoint you.(You can see the recent movie"Sista" for lessons

And to your daughter,she's old enough to understand,Call her in the midnight and talk to her woman to woman.Make sure it is recorded so that in the future,nobody will blame anybody.
For me I'd say"don't relocate,stop running and face him head-on".Maybe Welfare board should see both of you and work out something.AIways involve your husband in all you do.

Some men sha, you should discuss this with your hubby. The second one that didn't want the child and now trying to destroy your marriage under the guise of wanting to be in the child's life, I think you should restrict him.

Let him send his contributions to her upkeep to your account, when she is 18+ and knows her left from her right, you can let her know the full story, by then she is old enough to decide for herself without being manipulated.

Justkatty:
Hmmmm
This story get as e be
But in all, be strong.
Vengeance belong to God.

Thank you

Kemadealadire:
Some men sha, you should discuss this with your hubby. The second one that didn't want the child and now trying to destroy your marriage under the guise of wanting to be in the child's life, I think you should restrict him.

Let him send his contributions to her upkeep to your account, when she is 18+ and knows her left from her right, you can let her know the full story, by then she is old enough to decide for herself without being manipulated.

Thanks, I told him to be sending up keep money even if na 2k monthly to her and occasionally talk to her phone or at a public space but he refuses,this man always abuses and over do things. He wants something else but God will not allow him.

Mamadf:

Thanks, I told him to be sending up keep money even if na 2k monthly to her and occasionally talk to her phone or at a public space but he refuses,this man always abuses and over do things. He wants something else but God will not allow him.

Ofcourse he would refuse such arrangement from you. It's only the court that can enforce such. Even the court maybe more linient and grant shared custody between you and her real father. These are some of the consequences of your past that you have to live with.

This is deep
There's no way you can continue to hide the children from their real father's weather or not they contributed for their growth.

Call your first ex and tell him to stop sending gift items your daughter for now. Give him reasons why he should just stop.

Then as for yor second ex call him or rather meet with him and tell him to stop coming close to your 2nd daughter, until she comes of age. You can block him from reaching you too
Don't make your husband feel insecured in your marriage becos of your girls but still bear in mind that sooner or later they will unite with their fathers.

It's not everything you post on social media; if you haven't posted the waec result, I believe this first issue will not be there now but at a later time

Mamadf:
■ Am doing my business from home so I can focus on her ,I am giving her proper home training,my hubby sends her to a good and expensive school,she is shubby and eats well.
Even my hubby can not live without her once she is on holiday in my mum's place.
I don't know if this guy wants to ruin my marriage . My second daughter is now 11years old,she has a age difference of 7years with her elder sister,if it's you guys what will you do.

During all the time you were raising this child, was this man sending you money for her upkeep and needs? If not, I suggest you and your husband, get a lawyer, tabulate how much you had to spend on raising her and take this to court to force the man to pay all past due child support.

But since the gal is already 18 and can choose for herself which parent she wants to be in communication with, I am afraid there isn't much the court can do as far as stopping her from wanting to relate to her father.

vincenteger:
This is deep
There's no way you can continue to hide the children from their real father's weather or not they contributed for their growth.

Call your first ex and tell him to stop sending gift items your daughter for now. Give him reasons why he should just stop.

Then as for yor second ex call him or rather meet with him and tell him to stop coming close to your 2nd daughter, until she comes of age. You can block him from reaching you too
Don't make your husband feel insecured in your marriage becos of your girls but still bear in mind that sooner or later they will unite with their fathers.

It's not everything you post on social media; if you haven't posted the waec result, I believe this first issue will not be there now but at a later time

My bad for posting her result,all the advice have gotten so far has been great,I have been trying so far to protect my marriage,my hubby is supportive and he is my role model.
I just ask my daughter if he can live with another person she knows, apart from our family and grandma . She bluntly refuse.

Are these two the only children you have? do you have children for your husband?

eniolorunfe:
Are these two the only children you have? do you have children for your husband?

I don't have any child from my husband yet

Whatever you do, make sure you're good to and honest with this man who accepted you and your kids and is good to you. I hope you did not cheat on him when your second baby daddy came back for that "one last sex" again. From your posts, you've never been able to resist him when he comes asking for sex. Just sit this man down and discuss what's best for y'all.

This your story needs wider coverage. This is real drama i must say. I don't have anything to say. Lets mods help you to front page for more contributions