Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

you want your wife to be carrying bucket on her head in this modern age WTF! you are the red flag here.

I'm not the praying type no comment.

Not washing clothes is a red flag,what if washing machine spoil?


conclusion:- 50-50 chance the marriage works or not.

Not the praying type huh?

No one can tell you, if you believe in the power of prayer then....


But I bet you,after the wedding, you will start hearing things like

I am not your slave,
I your wife, I won't do...
I am not the mummy type
I am not the working type
I am not bla_blah type.


It is up to you, you know where you are heading to in Life, marriage is the last mistakes you make to make or mar your future.

9jaloyalist:
Not the praying type huh?

No one can tell you, if you believe in the power of prayer then....


But I bet you,after the wedding, you will start hearing things like

I am not your slave,
I your wife, I won't do...
I am not the mummy type
I am not the working type
I am not bla_blah type.


It is up to you, you know where you are heading to in Life, marriage is the last mistakes you make to make or mar your future.

exactly... and I also bet you, that list is going to get longer and will include stuffs like "I'm not the cooking type", "I'm not the cleaning type", "I'm not the sexual type" lmao... na from clap dance dey enter... she's also not the prayer type, omooo, you are in for a long thing my brother...

even though I can get a maid, I would prefer someone who isn't lazy and not someone I would be responsible for and she will be making rules for me under my watch! definitely not gonna happen... op, you have a choice to make...if you choose wrong, you'll be doomed... and no one will be there to save you...

Op that religious aspect is not a flaw, she is more enlightened than you.
Women aren't actually designed for excessive stress. If you can get her a washing machine that would be fine.
Or better still, join her and assist with the laundry of you can't afford a house help

CloudTrees:
Op that religious aspect is not a flaw, she is more enlightened than you.
Women aren't actually designed for excessive stress. If you can get her a washing machine that would be fine.
Or better still, join her and assist with the laundry of you can't afford a house help

Hmmmn. Iconicr, Iyaebe

Reminderz:

exactly... and I also bet you, that list is going to get longer and will include stuffs like "I'm not the cooking type", "I'm not the cleaning type", "I'm not the sexual type" lmao... na from clap dance dey enter... she's also not the prayer type, omooo, you are in for a long thing my brother...

even though I can get a maid, I would prefer someone who isn't lazy and not someone I would be responsible for and she will be making rules for me under my watch! definitely not gonna happen... op, you have a choice to make...if you choose wrong, you'll be doomed... and no one will be there to save you...

Exactly man,



As I said, marriage is the last thing that will determine if you will live life to the fullest.

In all thy gettings, get wisdow! E get why


For this life/world, my brother... no joke with prayers

Lady wey no fit pray go quench your praying zeal if only you have that thou... a ladies dey ginger guys to pray... but e come be say yours na reverse case...

Red flag no fit finish, mae we stop for there

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

You've already answered your question. So what's the issue?

Perception is relative here. I don't see these as flaws except for the "non-praying part" and that's perhaps because you are a religious person and you don't want to be unequally yoked in "layman's terms".

1) She is not the washing type — Is that a problem? No. It goes to show that you should strive to get a washing machine to ease her stress. I rarely wash clothes with my hands except they are very few. Anything above 10 clothes, and I am panting for breath already. I give people around to do them and in turn, sort them out financially if they insist on accepting my widow's mite. Does this make me lazy? No. Will this make me a less efficient wife? Not at all. Growing up, washing clothes was one of those chores I didn't do.

2) She isn't the water-fetching type — Really? In this dispensation of having boreholes to pump water into your house, how's this supposed to be a bother? Except you live in a public compound where one has to go out to get water. Otherwise, I don't see how this is a problem.

Moreover, I think lifting and fetching water is a masculine job. You should seek to alleviate stress from a woman you seek to spend the rest of your life with and not compound her stress. Do you want her to grow older than her age? These women with popping skins and great bodies that you admire on the internet, do you think if their men subjected them to such stress, you would have seen them in their best selves? Please. I vehemently rejected to date someone because I told him I don't lift heavy buckets especially if the distance is from point A to D. I can't. I easily wear out. He said I was forming and we went into an argument. I didn't like such an atmosphere so I had to quit it before even starting. I wouldn't be caught arguing with a man over lifting kegs, heavy buckets, or fetching water. Now, what does this tell you? I believe you must have gotten the summary if you are smart.

3) She is not the praying type — Well, I won't seek to join in this part as we have different perspectives when it borders around religion. I for one isn't a very religious person, so a "praying partner" wouldn't have been a criterion for me when I was choosing. I have had a very great guy tell me he couldn't have a relationship with me because he felt I wasn't that religious and a praying machine. Did I feel bad about it? No. I wasn't willing to bend either because that would have been me living a lie just to keep a man. I also wouldn't judge someone who wants a religious one because to what end are you settling with someone whom you don't share the same beliefs and values with?

In the end, the only viable reason amongst the aforementioned is the "praying part". The others can be sorted with money and are inconsequential. You know what's best for you after all. Or perhaps, you're seeking validation. Shalom.

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

Do not ever Marry a wife who has no anticcident to pray
Either she has it , or have deep knowledge in spiritual matter
In fact , she must be spiritual in some ways...
Because here in Africa, there is a lot, and lots of stuff t deal with
Making the right decisions is not always about been smart, but been led by higher realms

If she got no spiritual verities, oga, you will work yourself till death

UyaiIncomparabl:
Perception is relative here. I don't see these as flaws except for the "non-praying part" and that's perhaps because you are a religious person and you don't want to be unequally yoked in "layman's terms".

1) She is not the washing type — Is that a problem? No. It goes to show that you should strive to get a washing machine to ease her stress. I rarely wash clothes with my hands except they are very few. Anything above 10 clothes, and I am panting for breath already. I give people around to do them and in turn, sort them out financially if they insist on accepting my widow's mite. Does this make me lazy? No. Will this make me a less efficient wife? Not at all. Growing up, washing clothes was one of those chores I didn't do.

2) She isn't the water-fetching type — Really? In this dispensation of having boreholes to pump water into your house, how's this supposed to be a bother? Except you live in a public compound where one has to go out to get water. Otherwise, I don't see how this is a problem.

Moreover, I think lifting and fetching water is a masculine job. You should seek to alleviate stress from a woman you seek to spend the rest of your life with and not compound her stress. Do you want her to grow older than her age? These women with popping skins and great bodies that you admire on the internet, do you think if their men subjected them to such stress, you would have seen them in their best selves? Please. I vehemently rejected to date someone because I told him I don't lift heavy buckets especially if the distance is from point A to D. I can't. I easily wear out. He said I was forming and we went into an argument. I didn't like such an atmosphere so I had to quit it before even starting. I wouldn't be caught arguing with a man over lifting kegs, heavy buckets, or fetching water. Now, what does this tell you? I believe you must have gotten the summary if you are smart.

3) She is not the praying type — Well, I won't seek to join in this part as we have different perspectives when it borders around religion. I for one isn't a very religious person, so a "praying partner" wouldn't have been a criterion for me when I was choosing. I have had a very great guy tell me he couldn't have a relationship with me because he felt I wasn't that religious and a praying machine. Did I feel bad about it? No. I wasn't willing to bend either because that would have been me living a lie just to keep a man. I also wouldn't judge someone who wants a religious one because to what end are you settling with someone whom you don't share the same beliefs and values with?

In the end, the only viable reason amongst the aforementioned is the "praying part". The others can be sorted with money and are inconsequential. You know what's best for you after all. Or perhaps, you're seeking validation. Shalom.

Thank you👏🏽

If there is an easier way to do something, go ahead and do it. Don't let anyone shame you. That's what technological inventions are for.


I can sense OP is the kind of man that will say he doesn't want to buy his wife a blender so she won't become lazy.
Meanwhile he travels in a car and not on a donkey.

I don't understand why some primitive men insist women doing back-breaking work makes her a good woman and wife material. Lol
Afterall that's what they witnessed their foremothers doing and you must do the same to prove yourself with a smile on your face.

Op should aim to get himself out of the situation requiring them to fetch water. Instead of making her comfortable with hardship. It low-key seems like gaslighting.

Nonsense thread.

It's a yellow flag

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

CloudTrees:
Op that religious aspect is not a flaw, she is more enlightened than you.
Women aren't actually designed for excessive stress. If you can get her a washing machine that would be fine.
Or better still, join her and assist with the laundry of you can't afford a house help

What did women do before washing machine?

SenecaTheYonger:


What did women do before washing machine?

What did men do before cars??

1Sharon:


What did men do before cars??

Great question.

1Sharon:


Thank you👏🏽

If there is an easier way to do something, go ahead and do it. Don't let anyone shame you. That's what technological inventions are for.


I can sense OP is the kind of man that will say he doesn't want to buy his wife a blender so she won't become lazy.
Meanwhile he travels in a car and not on a donkey.

I don't understand why some primitive men insist women doing back-breaking work makes her a good woman and wife material. Lol
Afterall that's what they witnessed their foremothers doing and you must do the same to prove yourself with a smile on your face.

Op should aim to get himself out of the situation requiring them to fetch water. Instead of making her comfortable with hardship. It low-key seems like gaslighting.

Nonsense thread.

I do not blame a lot of them, honestly. Poverty has a great way of dealing with people and messing up their psyches. People think poverty is a lack of money. But, I think poverty is the absence of common sense to utilize money because the truth is, you can have the wherewithal and block funds but lack the intelligence to send the money on errands for you. This summary can be likened to the OP. I like to think he's a well-read person and has a great deal of exposure. So, why are these things a bother? To think he has answers to his questions already is even more hilarious.

Also, upbringing matters. Perhaps, he must have grown to watch his mother and sisters do backbreaking chores and felt that was the standard. Many people were brought up with struggle and saw that as the bare minimum. So, using technological inventions to alleviate stress is a herculean task for them. I can never for the life of me imagine this.

I already pity his "fiancee" because she's in for a long ride. Life is so stressful already, why should we still have to stress ourselves further? Lord.

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
This you guys need to seat down talk about it
Not the cloth washing type
Get Washing Machine Bro
Not the water fetching type
Fetching Water From Where?
(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

I guess you are the red flag here!
I am paid to use my brain most of the time, why do what I can pay other people to do better than me.

ahmedaturboy:
Hello fams,

There is this girl I am courting for a while now. And to be sincere, I mean to take it to forever with her.
But there is these weakness she has:

Not the prayer type
Not the cloth washing type
Not the water fetching type

(Perfect in every other aspect)

I feel it can be controlled. Like staying in house with

water, having washing machine and forcing/getting person paid for religious education.

Forget abt the water fetching... just hustle up and get an apartment with water system... normal normal.. People don't fetch water again dis days...

Washing machine ain't a bad idea tho... sometimes she can just use hands too... don't worry when prepaid meter chop una light wel will.. she will use hand😁

Then lastly, try to make sure you both visit church time to time... that's is where she can learn to be prayerful... also sometimes.. try to start a prayer section alone when u are together for abt 30min.. if u do dat often... she will be force to join u and adapt

What do you like about her?





Lagbaja akebaje song playing in my head!

I find this post funny.

UyaiIncomparabl:



I do not blame a lot of them, honestly. Poverty has a great way of dealing with people and messing up their psyches. People think poverty is a lack of money. But, I think poverty is the absence of common sense to utilize money because the truth is, you can have the wherewithal and block funds but lack the intelligence to send the money on errands for you. This summary can be likened to the OP. I like to think he's a well-read person and has a great deal of exposure. So, why are these things a bother? To think he has answers to his questions already is even more hilarious.

Also, upbringing matters. Perhaps, he must have grown to watch his mother and sisters do backbreaking chores and felt that was the standard. Many people were brought up with struggle and saw that as the bare minimum. So, using technological inventions to alleviate stress is a herculean task for them. I can never for the life of me imagine this.

I already pity his "fiancee" because she's in for a long ride. Life is so stressful already, why should we still have to stress ourselves further? Lord.

Yes you're right. Poverty isn't just a financial situation. It's a mindset. Poor people move differently than their well to do counterparts.

Their logic is that if it was good enough for their mothers it should be good enough for you. They don't know any better so can't comprehend why you'd want better for yourselves and make it seem like the problem is you. That's manipulative.

OP doesn't have any issues with his fiances character. His main grudge is her not liking hard chores. Primitive man.

In addition to the inputs by UyaiIncomparabl....

Prayer: If you're a christian, both of you should join the prayer unit of your denomination. Learn to pray together.

Washing: I don't think there's a rule that says clothes must be washed with your hands! I hope you get it?

Water fetching: Technology was invented to make our lives easier and to make us do things faster. At this age, we do not wake up at 4am to go fetch water from the stream. Think about it.