Did you or did you not notice the self centeredness in her while you both were courting?

If you send money to your family without informing her, will you die?

You people need to start dating before marriage abeg. Or at least cohabit to know each other.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

Your marriage is still young. Sit her down and discuss the issue

dawnomike:
Your marriage is still young. Sit her down and discuss the issue

Worse thing to do is sit her down, she never admits faults. More like she already comes to the discussion prepared with her mind made up.

You didn't see all these before marriage?

Like did i just see 40%..im tempted to call you a fool... A woman will never respect you if she can know your financial worth.. Take this from me for free

sheldonbbt:


I intend to stop giving her the savings.

Is this guy serious? You want to stop giving her because she questions how much you give your people? You think that will solve the issue or cause more problems? The type of people that get married these days sha.....smh, how about keeping your mouth shut and stop telling her the amount you give them? Can you do that?

Fountainofyouth:


Is this guy serious? You want to stop giving her because she questions how much you give your people? You think that will solve the issue or cause more problems? The type of people that get married these days sha.....smh, how about keeping your mouth shut and stop telling her the amount you give them? Can you do that?

Nope, not because of that. All through this year, I haven't sent money home at all, and I thought she will be reasonable a little. Because my savings are with her, she just kept complaining talking about what we need to get and all that, even saying shabi I will still send money to them for Christmas.

After questioning me and being reluctant to give me the money she got a call from her mom requesting money and she did not waste time in sending the money, only to say the money she sent to them is what she has been saving from the little jobs she does here and there

Blakjewelry:
You didn't see all these before marriage?

Nope, she was all cool and good.

Erums:
Like did i just see 40%..im tempted to call you a fool... A woman will never respect you if she can know your financial worth.. Take this from me for free

Well, we keep learning daily. The aim of doing that was to foster transparency and openess regarding our finances.

Obviously a very big mistake

sheldonbbt:


Nope, not because of that. All through this year, I haven't sent money home at all, and I thought she will be reasonable a little. Because my savings are with her, she just kept complaining talking about what we need to get and all that, even saying shabi I will still send money to them for Christmas.

After questioning me and being reluctant to give me the money she got a call from her mom requesting money and she did not waste time in sending the money, only to say the money she sent to them is what she has been saving from the little jobs she does here and there

Why exactly will you keep your savings with her? How about getting a fixed account where you send money to every month, that way she wont touch it or know how much you give your people, problem solved.

Fountainofyouth:


Why exactly will you keep your savings with her? How about getting a fixed account where you send money to every month, that way she wont touch it or know how much you give your people, problem solved.

Well, I intend to do that from next month! It was actually a big mistake.

sheldonbbt:


Well, we keep learning daily. The aim of doing that was to foster transparency and openess regarding our finances.

Obviously a very big mistake

Its a huge mistake...

Im talking from expereince.. Especially if you married o a woman who canot be descrete... Drop your money in the bank with no atm link to it and save.... Not with her pls

Erums:



Its a huge mistake...

Im talking from expereince.. Especially if you married o a woman who canot be descrete... Drop your money in the bank with no atm link to it and save.... Not with her pls

I must confess I just learnt a very big lesson. I just needed to speak with someone. Obviously not my family because I don't want any friction at all.

sheldonbbt:


Nope, not because of that. All through this year, I haven't sent money home at all, and I thought she will be reasonable a little. Because my savings are with her, she just kept complaining talking about what we need to get and all that, even saying shabi I will still send money to them for Christmas.

After questioning me and being reluctant to give me the money she got a call from her mom requesting money and she did not waste time in sending the money, only to say the money she sent to them is what she has been saving from the little jobs she does here and there

You are a mumu man now she sent money to her parents why she dey tell you to wait till dec,she doesn't want your parents to enjoy you and take this to the bank she will not allow your children to take care of you when you aging

Men of this days are fucking weak, your type brings insult and embarrassment to us!!

Imagine the money you hustle and make, is what your wife dictates how you use it, even when it has to do with your parents. God forbid!

You should just start wearing wrapper, because obviously you are the weak and docile one in the marriage

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

sheldonbbt:


Well, we keep learning daily. The aim of doing that was to foster transparency and openess regarding our finances.

Obviously a very big mistake

Na love shark u reach like that abi watin?

I really don't understand what some men are turning into these days....

hakeemhakeem:


You are a mumu man now she sent money to her parents why she dey tell you to wait till dec,she doesn't want your parents to enjoy you and take this to the bank she will not allow your children to take care of you when you aging

Although this hurts, you have a very good point I must confess.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

All these are things that should have been discussed and addressed during courtship. This shouldn't be a problem now.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

Develop the habit of savings and start saving your money by yourself.

Reason is there is a danger in having someone else to handle your life savings. If the money amounts to something worthwhile in the future and the person is a bad fellow, he/she can harm you in order to take over the money!

You need to even know where u savings are exactly.. be wise

sheldonbbt:
■ As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self-centered? Marriage is just a year old. She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift. I intend to stop giving her the savings.

Do you send her family the same amount that you send to your own family? Are you as generous with her family as you are generous with yours?

This issue isn't about your savings but about how you both cater to each other's families so leave the savings alone, unless it's the case that she dips into it without first informing you.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

I have read all your posts on this thread & I see you said she 'changed' after marriage.

Generally, I do not believe people change 360° in marriage; the signs are always there: their views, actions, reactions, outlook, choices, family background etc.

Since you have married her anyways, you have to gently rearrange the sheets of your marriage. While the transparency you adopted in your finances is right in the spirit of marriage (though your posts did not provide insight on the level of communication), you picked the wrong mate (at least financially) in the journey of marriage.

As she is self-centered, it makes no sense to 'save' with her. Instead explore other options; for instance: get your bank to auto-deduct what you want to save, use saving apps such as Piggyvest or open an account with no ATM card & send what you want to save there. You should also have a monthly budget for your family sent feom the savings. P.S.: I want to believe that your savings here doesn't mean upkeep money sent to her monthly for the running of the home.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

I send money to my family now without informing my wife. She does not need to know and I have a separate accounts as well. I used to tell before but when I realized she was sending a lot to her family without my knowledge, I changed immediately.

Marriage na big life university and you gotta learn and be very smart. Negleted my siblings for a long time taking care of wives family . Not anymore and I don't need to know what she send to her family as well. He nor concern me.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

Divorce her!
Do not be afraid to start over. You can always start over. It's never too late.
The longer you wait, the worse it gets.

Divorce her and meet another woman.

jeromestarks:


Divorce her!
Do not be afraid to start over. You can always start over. It's never too late.
The longer you wait, the worse it gets.

Divorce her and meet another woman.

Divorce her!

Are you for real?

Skyview01:


Divorce her!

Are you for real?

Yep.
Divorce is the way man.
Don't you know the wife can kill the husband?
It usually start from small issues, then before you know it, hatred enters. People do irrational things when they hate you.

A woman who still values her father's family beyond her own shouldn't be a wife. She's very immature.

You can't save that marriage.
The longer you wait, the worse it gets.
Divorce her.

mariahAngel:
Did you or did you not notice the self centeredness in her while you both were courting?

He was desperate. He was blinded by pvssy.

I see their union deteriorating.
I see the woman hating him the more as he tries to make his stand
I see her family hating the man.
I see him getting frustrated.
I see the woman killing him.
This i have seen.

jeromestarks:

Yep.
Divorce is the way man.
Don't you know the wife can kill the husband?
It usually start from small issues, then before you know it, hatred enters. People do irrational things when they hate you.

A woman who still values her father's family beyond her own shouldn't be a wife. She's very immature.

You can't save that marriage.
The longer you wait, the worse it gets.
Divorce her.

Are you married?

mariahAngel:
Did you or did you not notice the self centeredness in her while you both were courting?

You do not notice everything before the marriage, marriage is about two complete strangers coming together and there will be understanding and compromises along the way. It is a big learning process if both of the couple are willing to work at it.

Most people are selfish and have to work very hard to change.