Skyview01:


I send money to my family now without informing my wife. She does not need to know and I have a separate accounts as well. I used to tell before but when I realized she was sending a lot to her family without my knowledge, I changed immediately.

Marriage na big life university and you gotta learn and be very smart. Negleted my siblings for a long time taking care of wives family . Not anymore and I don't need to know what she send to her family as well. He nor concern me.

@bolded a lot of men make this mistake, I still don't know why they do that.

How can I rate my in-laws ahead of my siblings? Not possible.

Thank God you retraced your steps.

Kobojunkie:
According to Op, there was a good reason why he had her taking care of it from the beginning. Op probably believed the money would fare better if she was to guard it as opposed to him doing so. And since she is his wife, I see no reason why she shouldn't continue to handle that. Whatever happens to his savings probably affects her too.

This particular issue they are having needs to be resolved not by taking the savings out of her hands and putting it in OP'S less trustworthy hands, but by other means. They need to come to an agreement on how to resolve demands from either families.

The route cause of the issue is the finance, he needs to control his resources and forever nip this in the bud ....QED

Skyview01:


I nor date before marriage and very naive. I be church boy and married at 25, 26 to my first girlfriend so no real relationship experience at the time.
I thought everyone was as open minded and selfless like myself.

The first 8 years of marriage, my wife was a stay at home mom and doing small business at home. I made her joint on all my accounts and na so we dey spend the money, sent a lot to her family and life was sweet.

She went to school again, got a job and started making money.

When I innocently requested to be joint on her account the way she was on all my accounts, she flatly refused.

That was a big eye opening experience for me and I thought I was a smart guy.

No matter how much I love now, my finances will always be a mystery only known to me.
You should have something to surprise your wife and don't ever let your finances be known 100%

E shock me

ExudeLoveToAll:
■ The route cause of the issue is the finance, he needs to control his resources and forever nip this in the bud ....QED

I disagree with this!

I had initially wanted to ask Op how much his wife contributes but I decided against it knowing full well that many men in Nigeria willingly embrace hypogamy in marriage. Given OP never mentioned I took it to mean that his source of income is the lifeline for the marriage. And if OP does not trust himself as far as securing it himself then I see no problem in his wife continuing to be the one in charge of securing it.

Kobojunkie:
I disagree with this!

I had initially wanted to ask Op how much his wife contributes but I decided against it knowing full well that many men in Nigeria willingly embrace hypogamy in marriage. Given OP never mentioned I took it to mean that his source of income is the lifeline for the marriage. And if OP does not trust himself as far as securing it himself then I see no problem in his wife continuing to be the one in charge of securing it.

When you get married, allow your partner have full control of all your earnings.

Goodnight

ExudeLoveToAll:
■ When you get married, allow your partner have full control of all your earnings.Goodnight

Get over yourself abeg!

Like anyone here forced Op into doing what he did or something.

sheldonbbt:


Nope, not because of that. All through this year, I haven't sent money home at all, and I thought she will be reasonable a little. Because my savings are with her, she just kept complaining talking about what we need to get and all that, even saying shabi I will still send money to them for Christmas.

After questioning me and being reluctant to give me the money she got a call from her mom requesting money and she did not waste time in sending the money, only to say the money she sent to them is what she has been saving from the little jobs she does here and there

Seun please block this guy from Nairaland he's a big foolish old man

Fountainofyouth:


Is this guy serious? You want to stop giving her because she questions how much you give your people? You think that will solve the issue or cause more problems? The type of people that get married these days sha.....smh, how about keeping your mouth shut and stop telling her the amount you give them? Can you do that?

Yes, he's serious!

Why should the wife be saving money for him in the first place?

Is the woman a central bank?

He needs to stop it immediately and start saving his money by himself.

sheldonbbt:
As a married man, what do you do when you realize your wife is self centered? Marriage is just a year old.

She is quick to question when I need to send money to my family. I transfer 40% of my monthly salary to her for savings as I am not so good with money, but when it comes to her family, she is very swift.

I intend to stop giving her the savings.

If you go by your last statement, then start saving by yourself so that you don't come here with another story that the money you are saving with her can't be accounted for

At this point, you have to stop telling her how and when you send money to your parents, it's not even necessary she knows

As for her parents, you are not owning them
But anytime you wish to send to them also do that behind her

The less she knows about your charity gift the less self centered she will be

Do you guys have a child together? if no then divorce her ASAP, the marriage is too young for this, it obvious she was never your match