I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling.

I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice.

They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread.

We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that.

I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread.

If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread?

Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread?

You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.

Kajaard:
You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.

It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

You shouldn't have rejected it because they didn't reject yours.

Since you found their gift awkward then their daughter must be awkward to you too. Maybe you should leave their daughter alone.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

A gift is a gift no matter what it's or what it looks like. You shouldn't have rejected it...
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That marriage will not hold.

This I have seen.

Find a way to remedy the situation. In some cultures you rejecting a gift is almost as bad as rejecting the gift giver. And then you made it worse by telling the daughter that it was the wrongest gift they could give you. Who does that? Do you think your biscuits and juice they accepted wholeheartedly from you they couldn't afford to get them on their own if they wanted to?

I don't think you will find the support you are looking for here, you fvcked up bro; no justification.

Why reading any extra meaning to a cheerful gesture?

Even if they intends to make a point with the gesture, you just collecting the gift and not giving a fvck would have does it...

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

And receiving gift is symbolic. Dude just accept that you goofed and call your future in-laws to apologise.

That's a big mistake, Sir.
I experienced the same with my father inlaw (my mother inlaw is late), while my wife was in school. The old man cooked for me, to make it worse, he forgot to add salt, but I ate the food like that. Normally I don't eat outside you know. It's called respect.

Please, find a way to apologise to your inlaw. We can't run away from the truth.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

You are contradicting yourself. Gifts are symbolic, so the bread is a symbol of their goodwill towards you. You shouldn't have rejected the gift of your prospective in-laws no matter how strange it appeared.

It is even your own gift that is awkward. Imagine giving my future in-laws diabetes causing biscuits on the first visit

Itiskdg121:
That's a big mistake, Sir.
I experienced the same with my father inlaw (my mother inlaw is late), while my wife was in school. The old my cooked for me, to make it worse, he forgot to add salt, but I ate the food like that. Normally I don't eat outside you know. It's called respect.

Please, find a way to apologise to your inlaw. We can't run away from the truth.

I accept I would have collected it. My friend told me that but I needed a broader opinion

Gifts are symbolic indeed.

Kajaard:
You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.

..True, he should have collected the bread, even if he doesn't like the bread.

If they had rejected his own gifts (the biscuits as being common) how wound he feel ?

They would see him as someone with high Pride.

You should have accepted the gift even if you'll not eat it. The biscuits you gave are equally sold in the village but they accepted your gift. You could have gone with clothes, wine and other "city gifts".

Ishilove:

You are contradicting yourself. Gifts are symbolic, so the bread is a symbol of their goodwill towards you. You shouldn't have rejected the gift of your prospective in-laws no matter how strange it appeared.

It is even your own gift that is awkward. Imagine giving my future in-laws diabetes causing biscuits on the first visit

Ishilove!! Gbam! You don talk am finish . 1000 likes for you! Na the guy gift na him even look too common sef but the in-laws receive am with happiness.

The guy never wan gree say him no do well there

Guy you are wrong, you should have collected the gift. I can't imagine the embarrassment of your in law when you rejected the bread, they must had felt inferior in themselves thinking you rejected their gift due to their condition.

you are wrong period! ha! you had the guts to tell your gf that her parents gift is the wrongest gift to give you.

damn! no respect at all.

thesicilian:
Find a way to remedy the situation. In some cultures you rejecting a gift is almost as bad as rejecting the gift giver. And then you made it worse by telling the daughter that it was the wrongest gift they could give you. Who does that? Do you think your biscuits and juice they accepted wholeheartedly from you they couldn't afford to get them on their own if they wanted to?

common sense suppose tell the guy sef, if no be say na person wey too dey get pride him be.

PuZZyNegro:


I accept I would have collected it. My friend told me that but I needed a broader opinion

which broader opinion do you need again? you're looking for someone to support the nonsense you did? you are wrong period! go and apologise immediately. imagine if somone treated your parents like that would you be happy?

I really don't like what you did. you're annoyingly stupid.

PuZZyNegro:


I accept I would have collected it. My friend told me that but I needed a broader opinion

Guy!! Remove that "but" there.

Ginaz:


which broader opinion do you need again? you're looking for someone to support the nonsense you did? you are wrong period! go and apologise immediately. imagine if somone treated your parents like that would you be happy?

I really don't like what you did. you're annoyingly stupid.

Ginaz!! Be calming down .. you sabi the in-laws ne? Wey the matter dey pepper you like this .

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

.
the guy u quoted is 100% right.
you should have collected the bread, even if you end up not eating it.

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

You, who on a first time visit went visiting your intending in-laws with shortcake biscuits and juice and they returned the energy with loaves of bread, yet you regard it as awkward?

If na me be the family, na dat biscuit and juice una bring come na im I go serve una since na from your village farm u harvest am.

Applying social intelligence is very key when dealing with such.

Mindlog:


You, who on a first time visit went visiting your intending in-laws with shortcake biscuits and juice and they returned the energy with loaves of bread, yet you regard it as awkward?

If na me be the family, na dat biscuit and juice una bring come na im I go serve una since na from your village farm u harvest am.

Applying social intelligence is very key when dealing with such.

You guys are just foaming in the mouth. These people already served us food and we ate.

I don't really think we need bread again to take home.

Uyi168:
.
the guy u quoted is 100% right.
you should have collected the bread, even if you end up not eating it.

What tribe are you?

Houseontherock1:
You should have accepted the gift even if you'll not eat it. The biscuits you gave are equally sold in the village but they accepted your gift. You could have gone with clothes, wine and other "city gifts".

They stay in Port Harcourt city and not any village. This is not a social class issue.

PuZZyNegro:


You guys are just foaming in the mouth. These people already served us food and we ate.

I don't really think we need bread again to take home.

If it is a non-issue for you, why create the thread?

Social intelligence in this context is though you saw no relevance in being given the bread to take home with you, collecting it does not mean you are hungry but shows you are also accepting of them, that was what the mother could give you at that time as a gift or were you expecting her to package washed bitter leaves, smoked fish and a gallon of palm oil for you?