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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? (58361 Views)
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Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 6:31am On Nov 20, 2023 |
I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling. I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice. They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread. We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that. I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread. If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread? Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread? 18 Likes 3 Shares
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Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Kajaard: 6:51am On Nov 20, 2023 |
You did not apply emotional intelligence at all. Yes, you should have collected the bread. Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift. This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers. 859 Likes 60 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 6:54am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Kajaard: It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting. Gifts are symbolic you know. 28 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Lovemeharder(f): 7:12am On Nov 20, 2023 |
You shouldn't have rejected it because they didn't reject yours. 503 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by madridguy(m): 7:18am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Since you found their gift awkward then their daughter must be awkward to you too. Maybe you should leave their daughter alone. PuZZyNegro: 470 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by AsomStructures: 7:20am On Nov 20, 2023 |
A gift is a gift no matter what it's or what it looks like. You shouldn't have rejected it... Contact us for your top level architectural drawings and proffesional building construction services nationwide...Check my signature for full details of our just concluded construction project in oron... 249 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by FalseProphet1(m): 7:21am On Nov 20, 2023 |
That marriage will not hold. This I have seen. 385 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by thesicilian: 7:31am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Find a way to remedy the situation. In some cultures you rejecting a gift is almost as bad as rejecting the gift giver. And then you made it worse by telling the daughter that it was the wrongest gift they could give you. Who does that? Do you think your biscuits and juice they accepted wholeheartedly from you they couldn't afford to get them on their own if they wanted to? 632 Likes 45 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Nobody: 7:35am On Nov 20, 2023 |
I don't think you will find the support you are looking for here, you fvcked up bro; no justification. 446 Likes 32 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Stevenbright(m): 7:38am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Why reading any extra meaning to a cheerful gesture? Even if they intends to make a point with the gesture, you just collecting the gift and not giving a fvck would have does it... 183 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by LordReed(m): 7:45am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro: And receiving gift is symbolic. Dude just accept that you goofed and call your future in-laws to apologise. 298 Likes 19 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Itiskdg121(m): 8:19am On Nov 20, 2023 |
That's a big mistake, Sir. I experienced the same with my father inlaw (my mother inlaw is late), while my wife was in school. The old man cooked for me, to make it worse, he forgot to add salt, but I ate the food like that. Normally I don't eat outside you know. It's called respect. Please, find a way to apologise to your inlaw. We can't run away from the truth. 343 Likes 24 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Ishilove: 9:22am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro:You are contradicting yourself. Gifts are symbolic, so the bread is a symbol of their goodwill towards you. You shouldn't have rejected the gift of your prospective in-laws no matter how strange it appeared. It is even your own gift that is awkward. Imagine giving my future in-laws diabetes causing biscuits on the first visit 423 Likes 42 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 9:41am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Itiskdg121: I accept I would have collected it. My friend told me that but I needed a broader opinion 41 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Biisola: 10:11am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Gifts are symbolic indeed. 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by henrimoto(m): 10:42am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Kajaard:..True, he should have collected the bread, even if he doesn't like the bread. If they had rejected his own gifts (the biscuits as being common) how wound he feel ? They would see him as someone with high Pride. 140 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Houseontherock1: 10:44am On Nov 20, 2023 |
You should have accepted the gift even if you'll not eat it. The biscuits you gave are equally sold in the village but they accepted your gift. You could have gone with clothes, wine and other "city gifts". 239 Likes 12 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by henrimoto(m): 10:45am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Ishilove:Ishilove!! Gbam! You don talk am finish . 1000 likes for you! Na the guy gift na him even look too common sef but the in-laws receive am with happiness. The guy never wan gree say him no do well there 115 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Ginaz(f): 10:49am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Guy you are wrong, you should have collected the gift. I can't imagine the embarrassment of your in law when you rejected the bread, they must had felt inferior in themselves thinking you rejected their gift due to their condition. you are wrong period! ha! you had the guts to tell your gf that her parents gift is the wrongest gift to give you. damn! no respect at all. 168 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by henrimoto(m): 10:52am On Nov 20, 2023 |
thesicilian:common sense suppose tell the guy sef, if no be say na person wey too dey get pride him be. 88 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Ginaz(f): 10:53am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro: which broader opinion do you need again? you're looking for someone to support the nonsense you did? you are wrong period! go and apologise immediately. imagine if somone treated your parents like that would you be happy? I really don't like what you did. you're annoyingly stupid. 163 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by henrimoto(m): 10:55am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro:Guy!! Remove that "but" there. 48 Likes |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by henrimoto(m): 10:57am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Ginaz:Ginaz!! Be calming down .. you sabi the in-laws ne? Wey the matter dey pepper you like this . 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Uyi168: 10:59am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro:. the guy u quoted is 100% right. you should have collected the bread, even if you end up not eating it. 55 Likes |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Mindlog: 11:11am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro: You, who on a first time visit went visiting your intending in-laws with shortcake biscuits and juice and they returned the energy with loaves of bread, yet you regard it as awkward? If na me be the family, na dat biscuit and juice una bring come na im I go serve una since na from your village farm u harvest am. Applying social intelligence is very key when dealing with such. 150 Likes 11 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 11:23am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Mindlog: You guys are just foaming in the mouth. These people already served us food and we ate. I don't really think we need bread again to take home. 7 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 11:23am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Uyi168: What tribe are you? |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by PuZZyNegro: 11:25am On Nov 20, 2023 |
Houseontherock1: They stay in Port Harcourt city and not any village. This is not a social class issue. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Have Collected The Bread From Her Mother? by Mindlog: 11:42am On Nov 20, 2023 |
PuZZyNegro: If it is a non-issue for you, why create the thread? Social intelligence in this context is though you saw no relevance in being given the bread to take home with you, collecting it does not mean you are hungry but shows you are also accepting of them, that was what the mother could give you at that time as a gift or were you expecting her to package washed bitter leaves, smoked fish and a gallon of palm oil for you? 128 Likes 13 Shares |
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