I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

I study other races, Immigrant groups from India and Asia. they work together well, and don't have these difficulty.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying ?

Regards.

Do they?

You can try dating the ones w/o any papers.

1Sharon:
You can try dating the ones w/o any papers.

They are also looking for guys with papers. This paper issue has changed the dynamics.

I dont even mind dating someone without papers because I'm on a pathway to getting my papers already.

Smile4mee01:
I have been abroad for a while now and i am curious to know why some of our ladies decline dating or marrying fellow Nigerians in the diaspora. I have tried to date a few any they are often quick to assume i am after them for their papers while i just prefer my own, someone who understands my culture and where i have come from. Even when i try to date the ones that don't have paper, regular work visa holders like me. They seem to want to be with the guys that have papers.

Also, when i am old, i would like to return to Nigeria. Marrying outside would make that transition very difficult.

Should i give up on being with a Nigerian or keep trying?

Diaspora relationships are usually difficult for people trying to find their "tribe". But since you have a preference for marrying one of your own, have you tried talking to your folks back home, or in other parts of the diaspora to find you a suitable Nigerian lady? Zimbos in the diaspora are fond of doing this.

Alternatively, you can search for an available ex. Not one of them toxic exes. Try and search for one that you really got along with but perhaps just broke up due to factors such as long distance which made it impossible for the both of you to continue being together.

Farfalla:


Diaspora relationships are usually difficult for people trying to find their "tribe". But since you have a preference for marrying one of your own, have you tried talking to your folks back home, or in other parts of the diaspora to find you a suitable Nigerian lady? Zimbos in the diaspora are fond of doing this.

Alternatively, you can search for an available ex. Not one of them toxic exes. Try to search for one that you really got along with but perhaps just broke up due to factors such as long distance that made it impossible for the both of you to continue being together.

But by today she would be very used puxxy evening news paper woman according to Nigerian men.

BRATISLAVA:


But by today she would be very used puxxy evening news paper woman according to Nigerian men.

I know you will turn it to men vs women fight.

You will destroy yourself if you continue this way.

CalmElder:















I know you will turn it to men vs women fight.

You will destroy yourself if you continue this way.

You will destroy yourself if you continue this way, poking your nose into men vs women fights.

BRATISLAVA:


You will destroy yourself if you continue this way, poking your nose into men vs women fights.

Me I just wan advice you.

Them plenty

BRATISLAVA:


But by today she would be very used puxxy evening news paper woman according to Nigerian men.

Oh yes! The dreaded evening newspaper.
How did it not cross my mind?

Klass99:


I am not in the diaspora but I stumbled on a thread where someone made a sensible comment about this same issue.

They said something to the effect of everyone being too smart because of their papers/stay, nobody wants to compromise or make sacrifices, for the sake of an authentic relationship because too much sense is worrying all of you there.Na una know wetin dey worry all of you sha!

From my observations, there's a tendency in most of you japarians to gravitate towards self conceit and a vain superiority complex, where you start to think you're better than other Nigerians because;

1. You've lived in obodo for XYZ number of years or you have papers, so even new immigrant Nigerians are like an affront to you guys ( meaning their very presence in your host country is like an offence)

2. You think with your papers you have finally arrived what can any Nigerian offer you again. But your papers alone don't provide healthy social interactions, good friendships or companionship, laughter and fun moments with others.

I see that superiority complex even here on NL with folks who haven't lived overseas for 2 years, I smile and shake my head, thinking to myself, poverty is really not a good thing. When you grow up privileged very little about the white man trips you to a point where you start to insult or look down on your country and fellow country men. Because you grow up knowing what your own people are made of and capable of. It's not so much about privilege alone, but having a healthy dose and sense of self worth, self esteem and self love.

My friend engaged an asian cabbie in conversation in the UK, while riding in his car. The cabbie told her it is very disappointing to see the way we Africans/Nigerians in particular behave overseas. He said we are quick to throw away our cultural values to embrace western ones, we are the ones who are quick to talk back to parents and disrespect them (that was an incident he witnessed in his cab with a Nigerian family)

Whereas he sees Indians, Chinese and some Asians hold onto their cultural values and practices, maintaining the family unit, and refusing to let the west negatively influence them. I think the cabbie's experience and narrative, may help you understand why you are having a hard time finding a Nigerian date.

I got pissed off when I read about the Asian man. Asians are in no position to speak on Africans in the UK! They're the most despicable demographic.

Farfalla:


Oh yes! The dreaded evening newspaper.
How did it not cross my mind?

He's definitely thinking that. After all, he's no spring chicken himself.

1Sharon:


I got pissed off when I read about the Asian man. Asians are in no position to speak on Africans in the UK! They're the most despicable demographic.

Nibo latu jasi bayi, what did Asians do to you? Me I love Asians like mad. Especially those Koreans. I love their culture and discipline too much.

tosinhtml:


Nibo latu jasi bayi, what did Asians do to you? Me I love Asians like mad. Especially those Koreans. I love their culture and discipline too much.

I'm not talking about those Asians. I'm talking about the peace be with you kind.

1Sharon:


I'm not talking about those Asians. I'm talking about the peace be with you kind.

I don't understand what you are referring to.

Ah,you get time still dey pursue Naija girls even as you dey abroad o .They cant even see my shadow sef.If I dey follow my oyibo waka for street ,and I mistakenly jam African girl,na so so look dem dey look

There is no real love feelings for any Nigerian lady abroad, even when u dey on top her for bed she dey calculate her moves… Love to them is an ‘opportunity’ and when she is ok she wil kick your asss..

If you don’t want to regret the rest of your hustling life in your country of residence, avoid any woman that speaks pidgin .. just greet her as a sister and keep moving.. e get why😂

Damn!

I don't know what is wrong with some of you guys. You go abroad go dey chase Nigerian girls? Like Dude, are you serious right now?

The earlier you avoid Nigerian girls for your complete sanity, the better for you. u leave USA, Canada, Australian or UK women go Dey chase Nigerian women? Lol seems like you want Parasites and liabilities in your life 🤣

Run away from Nigerian women resident abroad.

Many of them have the whiteman's gender equality law written all over their behavior/character.Them carry am for head like gala. They are quick to remind you that they can throw you out of the house if you offend them.

They are very arrogant and have thrown away the respect women accord men back home.

The worst part is many of them become single mums and their toxic behaviors ensures they are chronically sex-starved. They are usually happy with their single mum status because they see it as a means of income from the government.

They are quick to ensure your marriage with them dont work so they start getting support money from you as well as getting paid by government.

I will advice you ignore them if you feel you have tried enough. Sometimes this ladies make plans out of ignorance only to regret it miserably later in life.

Sometimes people actually make plans to fail,especially when its out if selfishness.

That thing wey you dey pursue, another way dey, its just that you're too greedy selfish, ignorant and proud to see the reason to change your plans and humble yourself.

My brother, no mind them. You no get menopause. The one wey get sense go soon reach your hand.

I no be lady but I know say na because alot of guys dey take advantage of them....
They only use them to get papers and afterwards, abandon them for someone else.....

Reading...

Money has wings.

The person who is rich today can become poor/broke tomorrow and vice versa.

Rather than this skeletal approach, why don't we dig to see what's wrong with the Nigerian family system and correct it?

How many men are rich in abroad?

What happens if all that made a man 'the head' was money and he loses it ten years into the marriage; should his wife get a divorce?

Dennisochampa:
I no be lady but I know say na because alot of guys dey take advantage of them....
They only use them to get papers and afterwards, abandon them for someone else.....

When a woman begins to see all men through same lens, the genuine ones will pass that person by.

I remembered the story my friend's dad told us while he was hustling in the UK. Some group of young girls who came for masters were hustling for the big life, for the money.

One of the friend instead decides to date this young guy while her friends will always remind her to 'shine her eyes and move with those who will upgrade her life.

To cut the long story short,during an outing at a fanfare, a technical error happened and both suffered life threatening injuries, broken bones. They survived and through their lawyer sued the company and was hugely compensated.

Omo,na so both returned back to Nigeria and got married. With millions in pounds as compensation wetin dem still dey hustle for in UK?

Well, a male classmate who happens to be in Germany told me the exact reason why Nigerian men often go for Nigerian women, and the reason he gave is because of crime!!! He explained to me that for example there is a high level of tolerance of domestic violence from Nigerian women but white women don't do that. Secondly Nigerian men who are into crime or plans to go into crime in future are the ones that value Nigerian women because they will never report you to the authorities, but no matter how small a crime is a white woman must report you. On the other hand good Nigerian women always avoid Nigerian men abroad because most of them will implicate you in one crime or the other. I told him that if not that I am already married before traveling to Germany for the first time I would have married a German woman just like him, and take her to any country I reside in because his assertions are true.