Janeola:
■ I was married for 10 years, lost the marriage some 7 years ago. The marriage was blessed with two children. My wife left and married a family friend the very next month she divorced me and changed the name of the kids to her new husband's name. I cried and cried but was helpless as I don't have what it takes to fight back. I remarried after 5 years and 2 years down the lane it's looking like this one too might not work. The marriage is blessed with a son. He will be one year old in few days. Am I going to loose this my son again.
■ Please help me. What do I do. I am doing my best in the marriages both the failed one and this one but it seems I am not just good with good women. If I divorce now . Can I be given custody of a year old boy ? I can't sleep. I have crying, I can't sleep. Please help me. What can I do

Kobojunkie:
Why exactly did you completely lose custody of your kids from your first marriage? Your wife changing the name of the kids means you are not even acknowledged as their father at all. Divorce does not give anyone that right. So answer that question and that may help answer your current question as to whether you are also going to lose custody of your son if you and your wife were to go your separate ways.

2. The word "best" is relative though. What you think is best may not necessarily be considered best by the other person involved in the marriage so you need to be in continuous communication with your partner about these things for a marriage to work. So, how is communication between you and your spouse?

Janeola:
I was married for 10 years, lost the marriage some 7 years ago. The marriage was blessed with two children. My wife left and married a family friend the very next month she divorced me and changed the name of the kids to her new husband's name . I cried and cried but was helpless as I don't have what it takes to fight back. I remarried after 5 years and 2 years down the lane it's looking like this one too might not work. The marriage is blessed with a son. He will be one year old in few days. Am I going to loose this my son again. Please help me. What do I do. I am doing my best in the marriages both the failed one and this one but it seems I am not just good with good women. If I divorce now . Can I be given custody of a year old boy ? I can't sleep. I have crying, I can't sleep. Please help me. What can I do

Kobojunkie:
Why exactly did you completely lose custody of your kids from your first marriage? Your wife changing the name of the kids means you are not even acknowledged as their father at all. Divorce does not give anyone that right. So answer that question and that may help answer your current question as to whether you are also going to lose custody of your son if you and your wife were to go your separate ways.

2. The word "best" is relative though. What you think is best may not necessarily be considered best by the other person involved in the marriage so you need to be in continuous communication with your partner about these things for a marriage to work. So, how is communication between you and your spouse?

Kobojunkie:
Why exactly did you completely lose custody of your kids from your first marriage? Your wife changing the name of the kids means you are not even acknowledged as their father at all. Divorce does not give anyone that right. So answer that question and that may help answer your current question as to whether you are also going to lose custody of your son if you and your wife were to go your separate ways.

2. The word "best" is relative though. What you think is best may not necessarily be considered best by the other person involved in the marriage so you need to be in continuous communication with your partner about these things for a marriage to work. So, how is communication between you and your spouse?

Intergrated:
What did in just read. A woman changed your childrens name and you are alive. Op abeg send me your number.abeg

BabbanBura:


Great comments!

Op, except if you didn't pay dowry on your first marriage in an Igbo culture, no one can take your kids and change their names, no one!

Depriest2020:
Did you really pay the bride price/dowry? Or na Abuja marriage you did?

Janeola:
My wife left and married a family friend the very next month she divorced me and changed the name of the kids to her new husband's name . I cried and cried but was helpless as I don't have what it takes to fight back. I

A woman took your kids away just like that and changed their surname. I just have to believe that family friend she married is their real father and not you.

If truly you are their father, then Will Smith no SIMP reach you. You should still be crying till now. Spits

Acidosis:


There is nothing like Igbo culture in this matter. Whether there's a dowry or not, when he is ready to have his children, he will get them.

DNA, not dowry or Igbo culture, is the only way to prove paternity.

ahnie:

He nor pay DOWRY....Don't you gerrit.

Intergrated:
how them take dey marry without dowry? . To the extent she carry am go court. I thought you do traditional and registry or church and traditional?

Intergrated:
how them take dey marry without dowry? . To the extent she carry am go court. I thought you do traditional and registry or church and traditional?

Intergrated:
how them take dey marry without dowry? . To the extent she carry am go court. I thought you do traditional and registry or church and traditional?

ahnie:
You don dey misyarn lately Acidosis
In Igbo culture,if a woman birth kids for you and you haven't paid her dowry those kids belongs to her father.

And if she marries another man who paid her dowry,the kids belongs to her new husband.

Stop trying to sound enlightened about cultures n tradition.

ahnie:


If the lady happens to be an Igbo lady and he didn't pay her dowry before she ran away to marry her new husband who probably paid her dowry....this man cannot lay claims to the kids again because they now belongs to her new husband,and there's nothing he can do.

Tradition is tradition.

Acidosis:



Stop quoting Igbo culture. Not everyone here lives in Anambra or Owerri. Marriage or no marriage, if you run away with my kids, I will serve you court papers from Lagos state where you would be asked to prove the paternity with DNA results. As for the new man, he should get ready to be arrested because that's clearly a case of kidnapping/theft.

ahnie:
I want to believe your acct has bn HACKED.

Acidosis:



Dey play.

ahnie:

You never jam tradition Mr Acidosis.

Let me cite another example wey go burst your head.
If a man dies and the widowed wife gets into another relationship with another,then births kids for the man without him paying her bride price the kid(s) also belongs to the late husband.

Until the man pays her bride price only then will he lay claims to the child.

And if the woman eventually passed without him paying her bride price...the child is gone forever and will be counted as the child of the late husband.
Dey play!!

ahnie:

I like to think he meant welfare....not court!

By him citing divorce...e nor necessary mean say she carry ham go court go divorce.
Getting divorced by the court involved so many herculean procedures.


Oga....with my full chest,I can authoritatively tell you that he was co-habiting with the first lady that bore him those kids.

This thing dey easy to figure out without stressing our switchbox nau.

If the lady happens to be an Igbo lady and he didn't pay her dowry before she ran away to marry her new husband who probably paid her dowry....this man cannot lay claims to the kids again because they now belongs to her new husband,and there's nothing he can do.


Tradition is tradition.

Acidosis:


There is nothing like Igbo culture in this matter. Whether there's a dowry or not, when he is ready to have his children, he will get them.

DNA, not dowry or Igbo culture, is the only way to prove paternity.

BabbanBura:


Great comments!

Op, except if you didn't pay dowry on your first marriage in an Igbo culture, no one can take your kids and change their names, no one!

Kobojunkie:
Why exactly did you completely lose custody of your kids from your first marriage? Your wife changing the name of the kids means you are not even acknowledged as their father at all. Divorce does not give anyone that right. So answer that question and that may help answer your current question as to whether you are also going to lose custody of your son if you and your wife were to go your separate ways.

2. The word "best" is relative though. What you think is best may not necessarily be considered best by the other person involved in the marriage so you need to be in continuous communication with your partner about these things for a marriage to work. So, how is communication between you and your spouse?