PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

If you check her WhatsApp, it will be like a can of worms. You can’t imagine what some people have in secret but they keep acting like you are their number one but in the real sense you nothing close number 100 sef.

Threads like this always break my heart into pieces. Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

African men are fast loosing their right as husband just like the Europeans.

I am sure you're among the men " Me and my wife share equal right in our marriage " This is the result of the equal right with your wife.

Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

Nawa o. A married woman mentioning the name of a male she is not related to speaks volume.

madridguy post=
Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

This is the real deal, no need creating long thread over a resolved talk, firmly stern face will hault her from embarking on such journey.

Man up & speak to her period

Obolor123454:
■ My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.
The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.
Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.
I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

Op, I noticed how you carefully refused to answer many of the concerns expressed on the other thread. But it seems here that at the core of all of this is a lack of trust on your part for your wife. Is there a particular reason this? Op, why do you not trust your wife enough to accept, even when she offered to go with your brother, that she may just be wanting to attend an event?

You mention culture, and I must say that I have never read of any Kenyan culture that required women to spill entire details or their movements and dealings in marriage. Most cultures simply expect that couples would do so out of courtesy but no culture mandates it. This makes me wonder what it is you wish to hide behind the culture card.

She might just want to use the avenue of going for that wedding to relax her brain and all emotional baggage and she not informing you of her plans while she made arrangements I suspect is her way of making sure she sees it through to the end...

Please ignore peoples opinions on what they have been cooking

Go and put ur house in order Mr and assume leadership. I'm not always happy with the way some of you men come online to wail...

Op stop acting like the woman in the relationship

How does one command a wife. Do you say “Verily, verily, I command you”?

Is this real life? People exist who think they can command their spouses?

Best and ideal case scenario is that you express your feelings about whatever misgivings you have considering the decision your wife or husband is about to make and most likely they’ll consider it and halt their actions.

The feeling of possibly offending you or creating unnecessary tension in the relationship is often a good deterrent (At least to a loving and respectful husband/wife). I honestly think most people wouldn’t do something if their spouse is expressing that they are not on board.

But to command? As in the very grammatical expression of „I own you and I get to decide for you“?

Okay then I’m going. Ihukwa

madridguy:
Threads like this always break my heart into pieces. Do you mean you cannot command your own wife? Is she too big for you to tell her straight to cancel the program?

African men are fast loosing their right as husband just like the Europeans.

I am sure you're among the men " Me and my wife share equal right in our marriage " This is the result of the equal right with your wife.

In Davido's voice "Something fishy is going down" know this and know peace.

Resist the urge to shalaye

Kobojunkie:
Op, I noticed how you carefully refused to answer many of the concerns expressed on the other thread. But it seems here that at the core of all of this is a lack of trust on your part for your wife. Is there a particular reason this? Op, why do you not trust your wife enough to accept, even when she offered to go with your brother, that she may just be wanting to attend an event?

You mention culture, and I must say that I have never read of any Kenyan culture that required women to spill entire details or their movements and dealings in marriage. Most cultures simply expect that couples would do so out of courtesy but no culture mandates it. This makes me wonder what it is you wish to hide behind the culture card.

Did he say the wife is Kenyan and his brother also stay in Kenya?

This Detty December has bn dedicated to women....the Shiloh just started.


Men CUM-plaining bitterly about their wives.

May God eppus.

cococandy:
How does one command a wife. Do you say “Verily, verily, I command you”?

Is this real life? People exist who think they can command their spouses?

Best and ideal case scenario is that you express your feelings about whatever misgivings you have considering the decision your wife or husband is about to make and most likely they’ll consider it and halt their actions.

The feeling of possibly offending you or creating unnecessary tension in the relationship is often a good deterrent (At least to a loving and respectful husband/wife). I honestly think most people wouldn’t do something if their spouse is expressing that they are not on board.

But to command? As in the very grammatical expression of „I own you and I get to decide for you“?

Okay then I’m going. Ihukwa

I was seriously reading this until the last bit, then I bursted out laughing.
The thing confuse you no be small.


I read part one of this madness and the word command used by some of us made me to read and waka.
I rather use my time to watch Nigerian movie.

Started watching them recently after long hiatus and really enjoying some of the real lessons there especially in Ruthkadiritv ( not sure I got the spelling). Her movies are so good, matured and relatable.

I have learnt to always treat people how they want to be treated. You cannot expect a sane man to be calm and respect a rude wife.

Let assume the OP is your brother, and you visit him and ask for his wife, and he replied with the story the OP narrated, tell us what you say to your brother.

cococandy:
How does one command a wife. Do you say “Verily, verily, I command you”?

Is this real life? People exist who think they can command their spouses?

Best and ideal case scenario is that you express your feelings about whatever misgivings you have considering the decision your wife or husband is about to make and most likely they’ll consider it and halt their actions.

The feeling of possibly offending you or creating unnecessary tension in the relationship is often a good deterrent (At least to a loving and respectful husband/wife). I honestly think most people wouldn’t do something if their spouse is expressing that they are not on board.

But to command? As in the very grammatical expression of „I own you and I get to decide for you“?

Okay then I’m going. Ihukwa

Mindlog:
■ Did he say the wife is Kenyan and his brother also stay in Kenya?

I am simply trying to get op to open up in this and answer us. From his post, it seems he isn't Nigerian at least and Kenya features somewhere and somehow in the story.

Kobojunkie:
I am simply trying to get op to open up in this and answer us. From his post, it seems he isn't Nigerian at least and Kenya features somewhere and somehow in the story.

From what I know of Kenyan women when I lived and worked in Nairobi, their urban women are way too independent minded than Nigerian women. Kenyan women are more empowered in comparison to their men and more "visible" in the relationship that their men.

Trust or no trust any outing that I am not aware of is a no no for me


I am an African man and I follow my culture, traditions ,norms, ethics squarely



Koni dafun gender equality

Obolor123454:
PREVIOUS THREAD https://www.nairaland.com/7931278/wife-travelling-without-consent/4#127349507
Hello,
I am writing to provide some clarifications following our earlier discussion under the mentioned headings. It has become necessary to address certain points for better understanding.

I've noticed some surprising comments, and I believe it might be attributed to cultural differences. I want to emphasize that I opened this account upon the request of a Nigerian friend who encouraged me to share my story.

My primary concern is the timing of the information about the occasion for which my spouse has been making preparations. The issue is not about mistrusting my brother; rather, it's about my spouse not sharing this information earlier.

The wedding she is attending is that of her old classmate's younger sister, a man whose name has been rarely mentioned in the ten years of our marriage. My surprise stems from the sudden revelation of her involvement in this event just a few days before the ceremony, despite the extensive preparations leading up to it. Like I said, I think she only mention the guy’s name just once when the guy had an accident. She just mentioned the accident and that was all.

Moreover, when she was even telling me of embarking on the journey, she just only said that she was attending a friend’s wedding without further details or explanation. She was merely informing me about it, because she already made all the arrangement to attend the wedding and has been discussing the issue with this same class mates for over 4 months without ever mentioning it to me, just only to inform me days to the occasion.

I hope these clarifications shed light on the specific points of concern. I appreciate your time.

Am not interested,next please.


I gave up on anything pussy.

Dear OP,

That your wife could travel without your consent shows You're a very weak man and you're not in charge of your home, she is!

Your wife can equally go visit any man she wishes and knack him because she knows you're not in charge of your home.

Avoid checking her WhatsApp, or else you'll be shocked at what you will see on it

If she truly attended the wedding without any prostitution, please let her be.
Women are some how...

Your wife can cheat on you under the same roof, and you won't suspect a thing.

So, rest.

I am trying to understand what the fuss is about. She's in Kenya and wants to attend a wedding and she is informing you to seek your consent.
Why do you think she must have been invited months ago? Why do you think she deserves a special invitation? What exactly is your concern?
There's the possibility that it was mentioned to her and she never thought of attending however, seeing she is around now, she decided to attend. Please, rather than acting edgy, kindly have a discussion on this so that you can get every necessary information you need. If you allow online perfect men get in your head, they will only mislead you as they have no interest in the success or otherwise of your marriage. Some will only rant about what they wish they could do and dare not in their homes because it is their fantasy.

hmm

Karlifate:
Your wife can cheat on you under the same roof, and you won't suspect a thing.
So, rest.

Exactly!

Mindlog:


From what I know of Kenyan women when I lived and worked in Nairobi, their urban women are way too independent minded than Nigerian women. Kenyan women are more empowered in comparison to their men and more "visible" in the relationship that their men.

Kenyan women do not take shit from their men like Nigerian women do. That's why some of them are here talking about commanding the woman.

Perfect time to link up with her secondary school crush. Just Dey play

.