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Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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My Friend Married A Narcissist And I Am Now Her Emotional Wastebin / Help! Mistake I Made @ 18 Has Cost My Life(pics) / Who Is A Narcissist And How Are You Sure You Are Not Dating Or About To Date One (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by NOwazobia: 2:25pm On Dec 07, 2023
The country is hard enough.

No add Teraja join this hardship.

I am not reading that lenghty shit you wrote there.


lie lie!

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Atolu01: 2:26pm On Dec 07, 2023
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Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Lovehunter82(m): 2:27pm On Dec 07, 2023
LOT TO LEARN....

SenecaTheYonger:
You should not condone silent treatment. You should also never allow a girl insult you. If a girl insults you, use a very painful secret of hers to insult her back. She will submit to you after crying.

After your GF is done wih the silent treatment, tell her that the next time she does that, you will take it as a sign the relationship is over and that she should just move on from her silence. You too also be prepared for this and mean it.

Never you allow a girl have control in a relationship. Always have the upperhand.

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:27pm On Dec 07, 2023
Blacklion3:
This is why men should have more than one girlfriend or wife.. Always let them know they are in a competition and can't manipulate you


Once you sense a girl start to misbehave or manipulate you, ignore her and start hunting other girls... Take pictures and post it, she will understand she can't manipulate you either with sex or emotions

That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Kazim88: 2:27pm On Dec 07, 2023
What's happening to Nairaland today....

Off topics through out.

-I called my ex...
-I ask my wife for open relationship.

Ex this, ex that....

Don't you people have anything better to offer.

4 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Blacklion3: 2:28pm On Dec 07, 2023
Fountainofyouth:


That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

You are stupid. You are a replica of your father

6 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:29pm On Dec 07, 2023
Blacklion3:


You are stupid. You are a replica of your father


Why the insults? Would you like to get a ban?

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by APOPTOSIS: 2:30pm On Dec 07, 2023
For those who find it difficult understanding the TOPIC, it simply means " Avoid Wike".
Wike has all the attributes of a Narcissist.
So, when next you are asked in an examination especially Psychology exams to describe a Narcissist, just pen down Wike's name. IF you fail, then your school would need to be schooled.

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by scoops(m): 2:30pm On Dec 07, 2023
Lol, I could only but laugh reading this; imagine working for someone that is a Narcissist and quitting at a point when the disrespect and humiliation was at it's peak, mind you she sacked you but didn't expect you'll truly walk away; then that Narcissist happens to get close to someone you love who happens to be a Feminist, y'know people who use pronouns on their social media profile e.t.c...
Just imagine the Trauma and Drama, that's one you don't want to experience; it's best imagined.

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by ednut1(m): 2:33pm On Dec 07, 2023
Many of the people calling people narcissist are the real narcissists. The other person didn’t allow them get their usual way( manipulation, gaslighting etc) . They then turn around to label the person narcissist

13 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Zooposki(f): 2:33pm On Dec 07, 2023
Umm, you just described most Nigerian men.

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by finegirl233: 2:34pm On Dec 07, 2023
Saintinoo:


Who is talking about breakup? When that relationship ended, I was the happiest person on earth. Just telling people my experience, so they don't also fall victim.
The traits of a nerc you listed up there makes me laugh. There is a tendency that more than 80% of humans have one or more of such characteristics, so advicing others on a public forum to avoid anyone with your list is absurd to me.

Kindly move on with your life if you are happy the relationship ended, no need for long stories.



Peace

4 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Franzinni: 2:37pm On Dec 07, 2023
They feed on emotions... Become emotionally intelligent, and watch them wither down to nothing

8 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Khetech: 2:40pm On Dec 07, 2023
Beyond the girl been a narcissist, u my nigga is also a simp, u allow ur emotions to control u,and u will keep getting this same energy with everyone if u allow ur emotions to control u.

5 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Khetech: 2:40pm On Dec 07, 2023
Beyond the girl been a narcissist, u my nigga is also a simp, u allow ur emotions to control u,and u will keep getting this same energy with everyone if u allow ur emotions to control u.

5 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by tollyboy5(m): 2:41pm On Dec 07, 2023
ibnquasale:
That gal real do you bad thing ooo 😂😂😂
The babe na O.G grin

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by motymop: 2:48pm On Dec 07, 2023
Saintinoo:


Did you read the post completely? Through, this is in the past, just wanted to create awareness so others don't fall victim.

BTW, dealing with a narc is never easy. Many are in a relationship with them but they don't know.

A girl you plan to marry didnt call you for 2 months of no silent and you think she loves you

if she really care for you, she would have compromised and also call you after 3 days to 1 week

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by steeltrust: 2:48pm On Dec 07, 2023
Lol
I can understand where you coming from bro
My wife used to be
But as a proper African man when I be
I put her in her place 😂🤣

She now has the idea I can do without her if Bleep up

So all those narcissistic behaviors she de hide am

And I warn am make she no carry that nonsense character near our pikin

If you realize on time and deal with it
You won’t have a problem

As am talking to you now sef I feel guilty cause na me con de do like narcissist for our marriage 😂🤣

And another thing apart from the narcissistic thing, I think she doesn’t love you enough
She de use you pass time

21 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by pxolll: 2:49pm On Dec 07, 2023
Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.





I had the same issue with you, I can relate with almost 99.9% of everything you said, my own ex even aborted pregnancy for me, we did a lot but mehnn, I had to respect myself and let it go. I was trauma bond with her too as I went back to beg her, I was grossly embarassed that day, she and mum jointly embarassed me, while I was running and begging her, she even took another nigga call in my front, it's crazy man but I'm getting over it. Getting yourself together mate, you will be fine

5 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by VULCAN(m): 2:51pm On Dec 07, 2023
The third wave feminists have all arrived.

Shooting from the hip.

You can identify them from their focus on the male gender as being narcissist.

If you listen to their false narrative, you will be led to believe that all woman are lambs and all men are wolves

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by bigcee(m): 2:56pm On Dec 07, 2023
Aaaaarghmed:
I wound the Narcissist wey I ghost sotey,she gatz call me after months and said....so it is very easy for you to leave and walk away.This her statement sweet me die.I have always told her,I have gentle face but if I cross my mind.Am not going back.she think say na joke.i bullshit her.
You Sabi 😂

2 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by CAPTIVATOR: 2:57pm On Dec 07, 2023
SenecaTheYonger:
You should not condone silent treatment. You should also never allow a girl insult you. If a girl insults you, use a very painful secret of hers to insult her back. She will submit to you after crying.

After your GF is done wih the silent treatment, tell her that the next time she does that, you will take it as a sign the relationship is over and that she should just move on from her silence. You too also be prepared for this and mean it.

Never you allow a girl have control in a relationship. Always have the upperhand.

The bolded , that's the fastest way to make me lose interest. I very much dislike insult. Once I notice any atom of disrespect, I begin to lose whatever interest I have.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by africandollar: 3:00pm On Dec 07, 2023
narcissist: This word done suffer for the hands of nairalanders and gen-z tongue
In case you don't know, most ladies are covertly narcissists and it takes a certain type of male who don't give two sh*ts to curb such nonsense. Next time bro, grow some balls and be in control of your relationship.

10 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by bigcee(m): 3:04pm On Dec 07, 2023
pxolll:


I had the same issue with you, I can relate with almost 99.9% of everything you said, my own ex even aborted pregnancy for me, we did a lot but mehnn, I had to respect myself and let it go. I was trauma bond with her too as I went back to beg her, I was grossly embarassed that day, she and mum jointly embarassed me, while I was running and begging her, she even took another nigga call in my front, it's crazy man but I'm getting over it. Getting yourself together mate, you will be fine
One bill me but I didn't give her kobo. She took another nigga call in my presence and put it on loud speaker. Very immature people.

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by CAPTIVATOR: 3:04pm On Dec 07, 2023
ednut1:
Many of the people calling people narcissist are the real narcissists. The other person didn’t allow them get their usual way( manipulation, gaslighting etc) . They then turn around to label the person narcissist

grin grin
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Phargbemmy(m): 3:06pm On Dec 07, 2023
Aaaaarghmed:
I wound the Narcissist wey I ghost sotey,she gatz call me after months and said....so it is very easy for you to leave and walk away.This her statement sweet me die.I have always told her,I have gentle face but if I cross my mind.Am not going back.she think say na joke.i bullshit her.

I realised too late, after three 3. Yea I started seeing this after 4 years of our being together and am prepared to break loose. Yes, I will have my payback very soon and it will sweet me die
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by africandollar: 3:06pm On Dec 07, 2023
steeltrust:
Lol
I can understand where you coming from bro
My wife used to be
But as a proper African man when I be
I put her in her place 😂🤣

She now has the idea I can do without her if Bleep up

So all those narcissistic behaviors she de hide am

And I warn am make she no carry that nonsense character near our pikin

If you realize on time and deal with it
You won’t have a problem

As am talking to you now sef I feel guilty cause na me con de do like narcissist for our marriage 😂🤣

And another thing apart from the narcissistic thing, I think she doesn’t love you enough
She de use you pass time

Na man you be guy! Don't take shit from that gender and hold your own then everything would work out fine.

5 Likes

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by okoIYAyin(m): 3:07pm On Dec 07, 2023
Artiiclebeast:
Kpele.

I deal with narcissists for fun and it has always worked.

They hate it when they get found out and always put in their place.

My man!!!
The last narc i mingled with gets more than she bargained for. I figured her out on time, decided to play dumb. Used and dumped her after i got satisfied, i hate nonsense!

1 Like

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 3:12pm On Dec 07, 2023
okoIYAyin:

My man!!!
The last narc i mingled with gets more than she bargained for. I figured her out on time, decided to play dumb. Used and dumped her after i got satisfied, i hate nonsense!
you deserve a chilled Goldberg
Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by Aaaaarghmed(m): 3:15pm On Dec 07, 2023
Phargbemmy:


I realised too late, after three 3. Yea I started seeing this after 4 years of our being together and am prepared to break loose. Yes, I will have my payback very soon and it will sweet me die
if you see the long message she later sent to me later later,insulting me ,saying thrash,telling me many nonsense,I just knew that ..e pain am well well.the way I ghost am without a word.I pretended I wanted to reply the msg,so she go see typing on her whatsapp.i know she will be waiting for my reply . grin.omo,I no reply anything.End of story.i know say she go cry go sleep that day.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Avoid A Narcissist At All Cost, My Experience. A Must Read. by PrinceGallant: 3:15pm On Dec 07, 2023
When you feel you are above someone you are a narcist especially if the person is trying hard to get your focus.

Every narcist is also an echoist when they find what they need. That your ex would also try hard to get an interest of someone who she admires.

3 Likes

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