Nlanders, please I need your advices

I met this girl on Facebook, though we attended the same university but different departments. Our conversations began four years ago, and we started dating a few months later, maintaining a long-distance relationship. We met in person once at an eatery, but everything else happened online.

In 2021, I traveled to another state for a year-long program, and we stayed connected, continuing our assumed dating.

However, I became engrossed in the attention she gave, neglecting the need for reciprocal effort. I noticed that if I didn't initiate contact, we wouldn't talk, and this bothered me. The breaking point was when she attended a family occasion without informing me. When I brought it up, she responded dismissively, mentioning she had shared it on WhatsApp and Facebook statuses. This was so annoying to me, so we stopped talking, although we didn't officially end things.

Last year, I posted on my status about being in Lagos, and she messaged me, expressing forgetfulness about why we stopped talking initially. We resumed chatting, discussing our romantic encounters in the interim.

I recently moved back to Lagos, and as things got serious between us, old communication issues resurfaced. When I addressed it, she suggested taking a break again if I'm not comfortable with that. I said OK

But later she messaged and start explaining and analyzing the situation. While we both acknowledged faults and apologized, she remains unchanged.

Despite my deep feelings for her, I'm troubled by her desire to act independently without keeping me informed and not seeing anything wrong with the communication being one sided. I'm unsure if there's a way to make her change or if this is a significant red flag.

Please make una advice me if Na me no Sabi runs this relationship thing well Abi Na she need to change?

The OP be like,

"My girlfriend is expressing her right to freedom of movement as the fully grown adult that she is and it bothers me. She doesn't ignore me, but she's also not disturbing my phone all day so that I can find another thing to talk/complain about. Is this a red flag? What do I do?"

Oh grow up. You literally broke off communication with her because she attended a FAMILY FUNCTION, a social occasion she had to do with people that she'd known years, if not decades before she even noticed your existence.
What will now happen if she wants to go to her friends wedding? She'll have to tender 2 months notice or else... Bah?

Not only that, you expect her to constantly blow up your phone with attention because she doesn't have a life bah?
The replies she gives you when you chat, is that not reciprocative enough?

I expect the alpha mails and red pillars to come through for you with their bogus advice devoid of any actual real life experience

Edit:- they never disappoint

tochez24:


You MUST be an slowpoke⚠️

YES..... You must be truly plain foolish to be dating who's is not dating you♂️

I can even smell your stupidity from thousands of miles away!!! Why will she then contact you first? When you obviously have NOTHING going on in your life to attract her....

You ATTRACT people oga, you don't force friendships/relationships!!!!

Focus on making money, develop yourself, hit the gym and do the things that make ls YOU happy. Genuine people will naturally come to you...

I personally have over 500+ contacts blocked on my phone and all social media platforms.
*You don't reach out to me i block you❌
* You don't reply my message or chat after some hours i block you❌❌
* You disrespect me i block you❌❌❌
* You don't focus on making money too i block you❌❌

People treat me like a celebrity blah blah blah.....

Most Nigerians are naturally dumb and proud people, most especially the broke and unexposed ones... This is the only way to handle them⚠️

How narcissistic

Whenever a real man like myself turns her down, she uses you to see if she can still trap a man.

Once you simpishly reassure her, she takes a deep breath and dumps your sorry ass again until another alpha male deals her a reality check.

She repeats cycle over & over...

Dating is like a question with multiple choice answers for a lady. It's only in marriage you have an answer to a question. So op, the ball is in your court. If you like, assume marriage with her when you're supposed to be dating. You'll only keep hurting yourself.

Relationship no be for everybody

I'm not asking her to take permission from me. But I think I should have known. And if I allowed that to be a norm there'll eventually be a problem

Madam, think beyond what you read before you give judge!

SweetBuns:


The OP be like,

"My girlfriend is expressing her right to freedom of movement as the fully grown adult that she is and it bothers me. She doesn't ignore me, but she's also not disturbing my phone all day so that I can find another thing to talk/complain about. Is this a red flag? What do I do?"

Oh grow up. You literally broke off communication with her because she attended a FAMILY FUNCTION, a social occasion she had to do with people that she'd known years, if not decades before she even noticed your existence.
What will now happen if she wants to go to her friends wedding? She'll have to tender 2 months notice or else... Bah?

Not only that, you expect her to constantly blow up your phone with attention because she doesn't have a life bah?
The replies she gives you when you chat, is that not reciprocative enough?

I expect the alpha mails and red pillars to come through for you with their bogus advice devoid of any actual real life experience

Real man ofo

DevilishMan:
Whenever a real man like myself turns her down, she uses you to see if she can still trap a man.

Once you simpishly reassure her, she takes a deep breath and dumps your sorry ass again until another alpha male deals her a reality check.

She repeats cycle over & over...

Continue dating?

Multiple dating ba?

fyzaila:
Dating is like a question with multiple choice answers for a lady. It's only in marriage you have an answer to a question. So op, the ball is in your court. If you like, assume marriage with her when you're supposed to be dating. You'll only keep hurting yourself.

Se Na advice be this?

Kevinjap:
Relationship no be for everybody

SweetBuns:


The OP be like,

"My girlfriend is expressing her right to freedom of movement as the fully grown adult that she is and it bothers me. She doesn't ignore me, but she's also not disturbing my phone all day so that I can find another thing to talk/complain about. Is this a red flag? What do I do?"

Oh grow up. You literally broke off communication with her because she attended a FAMILY FUNCTION, a social occasion she had to do with people that she'd known years, if not decades before she even noticed your existence.
What will now happen if she wants to go to her friends wedding? She'll have to tender 2 months notice or else... Bah?

Not only that, you expect her to constantly blow up your phone with attention because she doesn't have a life bah?
The replies she gives you when you chat, is that not reciprocative enough?

I expect the alpha mails and red pillars to come through for you with their bogus advice devoid of any actual real life experience

why do you always hop on every thread created by males. And when they come for you, you'll start crying with your pork nose. Please get a life.

Timigeofrey:
Se Na advice be this?

big man free the girl. She's not into you. It's very obvious. Channel that energy into other things jare. Let me give you a scope; always go for females who are into you. When you find them, you'll know. Then life becomes easier.

One love.

Whenever a girl initiate a break-up or quarrel just know she want go and cheat.


So in order not to have a guilty conscience, she can initiates quarrel based on the slightest misunderstanding


Sorry mate, you are dealing with a hoe

TheFinesseKid:
why do you always hop on every thread created by males. And when they come for you, you'll start crying with your pork nose. Please get a life.

"...why do you always hop on every thread created by males....."

Isn't that like 99% of the topics that appear on this section?
For such a being of logic (as you claim), you still failed to notice such a flaw in your argument. Logical sex Indeed.

You could've been more direct and kuku tell Seun to ban females from saying anything in this section

Efulefu

go for wot is gud for u

TheFinesseKid:
why do you always hop on every thread created by males. And when they come for you, you'll start crying with your pork nose. Please get a life.

You sincerely don't have to reply her

those hoes are obsessed with redpillers.

Timigeofrey:
Nlanders, please I need your advices

I met this girl on Facebook, though we attended the same university but different departments. Our conversations began four years ago, and we started dating a few months later, maintaining a long-distance relationship. We met in person once at an eatery, but everything else happened online.

In 2021, I traveled to another state for a year-long program, and we stayed connected, continuing our assumed dating.

However, I became engrossed in the attention she gave, neglecting the need for reciprocal effort. I noticed that if I didn't initiate contact, we wouldn't talk, and this bothered me. The breaking point was when she attended a family occasion without informing me. When I brought it up, she responded dismissively, mentioning she had shared it on WhatsApp and Facebook statuses. This was so annoying to me, so we stopped talking, although we didn't officially end things.

Last year, I posted on my status about being in Lagos, and she messaged me, expressing forgetfulness about why we stopped talking initially. We resumed chatting, discussing our romantic encounters in the interim.

I recently moved back to Lagos, and as things got serious between us, old communication issues resurfaced. When I addressed it, she suggested taking a break again if I'm not comfortable with that. I said OK

But later she messaged and start explaining and analyzing the situation. While we both acknowledged faults and apologized, she remains unchanged.

Despite my deep feelings for her, I'm troubled by her desire to act independently without keeping me informed and not seeing anything wrong with the communication being one sided. I'm unsure if there's a way to make her change or if this is a significant red flag.

Please make una advice me if Na me no Sabi runs this relationship thing well Abi Na she need to change?

You MUST be an slowpoke⚠️

YES..... You must be truly plain foolish to be dating who's is not dating you♂️

I can even smell your stupidity from thousands of miles away!!! Why will she then contact you first? When you obviously have NOTHING going on in your life to attract her....

You ATTRACT people oga, you don't force friendships/relationships!!!!

Focus on making money, develop yourself, hit the gym and do the things that makes YOU happy. Genuine people will naturally come to you...

I personally have over 500+ contacts blocked on my phone and all social media platforms.
*You don't reach out to me occasionally i block you❌
* You don't reply my message or chat(delivered) after some hours i block you❌❌
* You disrespect me i block you❌❌❌
* You don't focus on making money too like i do i block you❌❌❌❌

Most of these blocked people treat me like a celebrity wherever we eventually see unexpectedly, one even bought me drinks when we met at a lounge last week. A female one even wanted to follow me immediately to my place when i met her unexpectedly at ShopRite too, i simply told her i was not interested in whatever she think she has to offer me... I only dropped her off and went about the rest of my day like nothing happened♂️. In all these, i act cool and nice whenever they come but i always make sure they will never contact me again... Ever!!!

Most Nigerians are naturally dumb and proud people, especially the broke and unexposed ones... This is the only way to handle them⚠️

You're the PRIZE and people will treat you the way you disrespect yourself💯

SweetBuns:


The OP be like,

"My girlfriend is expressing her right to freedom of movement as the fully grown adult that she is and it bothers me. She doesn't ignore me, but she's also not disturbing my phone all day so that I can find another thing to talk/complain about. Is this a red flag? What do I do?"

Oh grow up. You literally broke off communication with her because she attended a FAMILY FUNCTION, a social occasion she had to do with people that she'd known years, if not decades before she even noticed your existence.
What will now happen if she wants to go to her friends wedding? She'll have to tender 2 months notice or else... Bah?

Not only that, you expect her to constantly blow up your phone with attention because she doesn't have a life bah?
The replies she gives you when you chat, is that not reciprocative enough?

I expect the alpha mails and red pillars to come through for you with their bogus advice devoid of any actual real life experience

Edit:- they never disappoint



How narcissistic

I was replying to OP... I never mentioned you or the likes of low lives like you in my comment, please move along now!!!!🙄

Bros, u fiickup!

Carry the most senior man in your community, go and kneel down to beg her. U remember, ur father land, sell everything go and give her all the money.

Infact, collect loan inclusively and give everything to her. You will see how well she will respond to you. Do these and thank me later.

Na now you talk.. ❤️

Naso e go be

TheFinesseKid:
big man free the girl. She's not into you. It's very obvious. Channel that energy into other things pjare. Let me give you a scope; always go for females who are into you. When you find them, you'll know. Then life becomes easier.

One love.

SweetBuns:


The OP be like,

"My girlfriend is expressing her right to freedom of movement as the fully grown adult that she is and it bothers me. She doesn't ignore me, but she's also not disturbing my phone all day so that I can find another thing to talk/complain about. Is this a red flag? What do I do?"

Oh grow up. You literally broke off communication with her because she attended a FAMILY FUNCTION, a social occasion she had to do with people that she'd known years, if not decades before she even noticed your existence.
What will now happen if she wants to go to her friends wedding? She'll have to tender 2 months notice or else... Bah?

Not only that, you expect her to constantly blow up your phone with attention because she doesn't have a life bah?
The replies she gives you when you chat, is that not reciprocative enough?

I expect the alpha mails and red pillars to come through for you with their bogus advice devoid of any actual real life experience

Edit:- they never disappoint



How narcissistic

Well as long as as op is bankrolling her ... He's well on the right.. if he's not, well then he's on the wrong .

Guy you are dating yourself.

Timigeofrey:
Nlanders, please I need your advices

I met this girl on Facebook, though we attended the same university but different departments. Our conversations began four years ago, and we started dating a few months later, maintaining a long-distance relationship. We met in person once at an eatery, but everything else happened online.

In 2021, I traveled to another state for a year-long program, and we stayed connected, continuing our assumed dating.

However, I became engrossed in the attention she gave, neglecting the need for reciprocal effort. I noticed that if I didn't initiate contact, we wouldn't talk, and this bothered me. The breaking point was when she attended a family occasion without informing me. When I brought it up, she responded dismissively, mentioning she had shared it on WhatsApp and Facebook statuses. This was so annoying to me, so we stopped talking, although we didn't officially end things.

Last year, I posted on my status about being in Lagos, and she messaged me, expressing forgetfulness about why we stopped talking initially. We resumed chatting, discussing our romantic encounters in the interim.

I recently moved back to Lagos, and as things got serious between us, old communication issues resurfaced. When I addressed it, she suggested taking a break again if I'm not comfortable with that. I said OK

But later she messaged and start explaining and analyzing the situation. While we both acknowledged faults and apologized, she remains unchanged.

Despite my deep feelings for her, I'm troubled by her desire to act independently without keeping me informed and not seeing anything wrong with the communication being one sided. I'm unsure if there's a way to make her change or if this is a significant red flag.

Please make una advice me if Na me no Sabi runs this relationship thing well Abi Na she need to change?

Your mind never tell you something about her?

Another day, another relationship matter.

SweetBuns:

"...why do you always hop on every thread created by males....."

Isn't that like 99% of the topics that appear on this section?
For such a being of logic (as you claim), you still failed to notice such a flaw in your argument. Logical sex Indeed.

You could've been more direct and kuku tell Seun to ban females from saying anything in this section

Efulefu

K

Palazee:
You sincerely don't have to reply her

those hoes are obsessed with redpillers.

tochez24:


.
*You don't reach out to me occasionally i block you❌
* You don't reply my message or chat(delivered) after some hours i block you❌❌
* You disrespect me i block you❌❌❌
* You don't focus on making money too like i do i block you❌❌❌❌

People like us can never be taken for granted. It's just impossible because we don't need people.

Disrespect comes from needs. Once you need someone and they know, they'd begin to act fancy. 9ja people dey call am see finish