vazsily:


Abeg no vex!! Na me find trouble!

not every quote u see online you've have to reply to. Save yourself the stress.

Since you've spoken to your wife repeatedly on this issue, do get her family members involved to talk to her. If no changes afterwards, try reduce what you drop for feeding, that way she will adjust.

Dyfynezz12:
■ When he was single he was feeding himself alone,thus spending less for the feeding now that madam is involved let her bring her own contribution which is cooking the food

Since Op is now complaining that the contribution he married her for is not good enough he can either look to exchanging equal responsibilities with her.

highvaluewoman:


Yes. And I was very well raised and had a good education and also turned out well. What else?

Since she trained you from being a house wife, when you get married become the "house man" so your wife will be the one hustling and putting food on the table. Since she brought you up well and showed you path to success.

Kobojunkiee:
Woman can equally go out to earn a living and feed the home. So man lamenting that he chose to do it all alone when no one forced him to do so does not make sense to me.

2. Let the man and woman decide for themselves how they will divvy up responsibilities so they can live together in harmony at the end is all I am concerned about.

3. Again, see #2 response.

That's what the post is about. They have divided the responsibilities but one partner is not pulling their weight. To suggest that the solution is for the other partner to take on extra weight is frankly strange. The solution lies in getting the other partner to fix their ways. What he needs are ideas on how to do this.

vazsily:


That's the Internet for you, where your good morning has a thousand interpretations. Read again carefully this time!

You said you wanted to run from the marriage na. Person dey run leave him wife because of food? Who does that. Abeg tell us the real thing wetin dey pepper you for the marriage.

I learnt over 15 years ago from one senior lawyer, now a SAN, how to give a reason why I'm taking an action, whilst I have my main reason for doing it.

Kobojunkiee:
Since Op is now complaining that the contribution he married her for is not good enough he can either look to exchanging equal responsibilities with her.

Saying OP should be cooking is out of the equation.
Y not look at the side where the wife should adjust on her wastefulness considering the effect of the economy cox that's the main reason why OP is complaining

brain54:
The marriage generally done tire you...

It's not only about the over cooking!

There are things you expect a grown up woman to adjust to.
When those things do not come especially after several attempts to make her see reasons, definitely the marriage could be tiring

ThunderFireAgba:

Since she trained you from being a house wife, when you get married become the "house man" so your wife will be the one hustling and putting food on the table. Since she brought you up well and showed you path to success.

Bat, I'm a woman. Now, get a life.

sometimes the best thing to do is to teach people a bitter lesson cos a saying says sufferings are lessons
this holiday if your mum, close friends or siblings stays ard send your kids for holidays then give her money to cook talk to her and warn her before cooking she shouldn't over cook hereby wasting or sharing the food unnecessarily, if she disobeys sort ur stomach outside for this period mk hungry beat her small, it might cause her a hard factory reset to adjust to this current hard times.
I'm not really against giving out to ppl but wen it gets out of hand it becomes an issues, cos las las if she no give dem hungry no go kill dem, dem go still source their means

SmartyPants:
■ That's what the post is about. They have divided the responsibilities but one partner is not pulling their weight. To suggest that the solution is for the other partner to take on extra weight is frankly strange. The solution lies in getting the other partner to fix their ways. What he needs are ideas on how to do this.

OP's complaint isn't that she does not cook but rather that she does so wastefully. So it isn't that she isn't pulling her weight but rather that OP is not happy with her method of doing it. And my suggestion isn't that OP takes on extra responsibilities. Surely, OP's responsibility in his own home does not begin and end with going to work and coming back home. if that is the case, then I would recommend marriage counseling for the couple.

Dyfynezz12:
■ Saying OP should be cooking is out of the equation. Y not look at the side where the wife should adjust on her wastefulness considering the effect of the economy cox that's the main reason why OP is complaining

Look at her for what? OP says she cooks, she just does not do it the way he would prefer for her to, and he claims she is over sabi, so what is there to look at?

Afamed:


There are things you expect a grown up woman to adjust to.
When those things do not come especially after several attempts to make her see reasons, definitely the marriage could be tiring

Exactly...

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

maybe she has never work all her life, I advise you to let her work

Kobojunkiee:
OP's complaint isn't that she does not cook but rather that she does so wastefully. So it isn't that she isn't pulling her weight but rather that OP is not happy with her method of doing it. And my suggestion isn't that OP takes on extra responsibilities. Surely, OP's responsibility in his own home does not begin and end with going to work and coming back home. if that is the case, then I would recommend marriage counseling for the couple.

It's up to the couple how they divide duties. You just said so yourself literally. Now if they have divided up the responsibilities and one person is not performing theirs properly, its out of place to suggest the other person should resolve this by taking on their duties.

And yes, wasteful cooking falls within the scope of not pulling her weight because under the given economic challenges, both partners have the additional joint duty of displaying financial prudence. This is an addendum to their predefined provider and manager roles, and they should perform their duties as though they are pulling in the same direction. Wasting precious resources when its getting harder to gather them is one partner working against the other who is working hard to be able to provide despite the difficulties.

A team cannot function in this way, nor can it function by forcing al the load to one partner. All she has to do is make a simple adjustment to how she cooks. A man should not have to take on the cooking just because his wife is wasteful, when there are clearly divided duties. That's like suggesting the wife should go and do her husbands job if he comes home with a poor appraisal report.

vazsily:
No be if she gree sit down! My matter dey really complicated. Things are expensive now and it's not funny. She no dey hear. Na to run dey my mind. Bcoz at the rate we dey go na BP remain for me. How do I even make her understand. She go market comes back and nah over cooking. I go the market, same thing. If say these kids are already grown, I swear I will walk away.

Simple solution ,let her start contributing to the family upkeep in ratio 60:40.you see that she will sit up.Some women sabi waste but them no sabi spend their money.Let her be responsible for the food in the house while to cater to other bills and watch if he will change.

Another solution is to get her a measuring cup.

FOOLISH ADVICE. I USE TO LOOK UP TO YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS HERE. BUT I AM TRULY DISSAPOINTED WITH THIS. ANYWAYS... THAT IS YOUR OPINION

Kobojunkiee:
If you don't like how she does the cooking, even after letting her know your concerns, then the next best thing for you to do would be to take over the cooking duties so you can help minimize waste and she can maybe spend her energy on other things that need doing.

SmartyPants:
■ It's up to the couple how they divide duties. You just said so yourself literally. Now if they have divided up the responsibilities and one person is not performing theirs properly, its out of place to suggest the other person should resolve this by taking on their duties.
And yes, wasteful cooking falls within the scope of not pulling her weight because under the given economic challenges, both partners have the additional joint duty of displaying financial prudence. This is an addendum to their predefined provider and manager roles, and they should perform their duties as though they are pulling in the same direction. Wasting precious resources when its getting harder to gather them is one partner working against the other who is working hard to be able to provide despite the difficulties.
A team cannot function in this way, nor can it function by forcing al the load to one partner. All she has to do is make a simple adjustment to how she cooks. A man should not have to take on the cooking just because his wife is wasteful, when there are clearly divided duties. That's like suggesting the wife should go and do her husbands job if he comes home with a poor appraisal report.

Again, OP's complaint isn't that she does not cook but rather that she does so wastefully. So it isn't that she isn't pulling her weight but rather that OP is not happy with her method of doing it. And my suggestion isn't that OP takes on extra responsibilities. Surely, OP's responsibility in his own home does not begin and end with going to work and coming back home. if that is the case, then I would recommend marriage counseling for the couple.

Allow to foot the shopping bill for one week.

MUST YOU REPLY THAT OTU? NA HER TYPE NP DEY RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS. WOMEN WHO FEELS THEY ARE EQUAL WITH MEN.

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

Gadafii:
?

Op talk to your wife about her wasteful spending sing and probably draw up the living cost and how it’s affecting you drastically, if she doesn’t head, stop buying food inside the house in large quantities, some women just be enemy of progress

That's just it, also if u buy foodstuff in bulk, d wastage is even worse, they over cook, splash everything like say its gotten for free.

Rexymania:
It's simple, sit her down and graph out the rate at which you buy your foodstuffs...some women are funny...or just don't buy any foodstuffs for months. Give her very little money to get foodstuffs. Maybe if she chop beans back to back, her head go correct

Beans sf don cost

brain54:
The marriage generally done tire you...

It's not only about the over cooking!

15yrs hm don try na

Make you try it for 1 Yr make we see

Options abound:

Stop buying in bulk and start buying in smaller quantities.You can give her impression that your salary has been slashed or business is not smooth as before. She will fight, but u must maintain your ground.

You also talked about running away.If that option comes, please take it.Don't bother about children. They will be fine.Just ensure u send money for their wellbeing.

A woman is supposed to know how to avoid waste.
God hates waste.

Your wife is trying to impress neighbors.Some women react to inferiority complex that way.

I never knew my woman could take care of home appliances until I stop buying them.The moment u spoil it carelessly, I look away.Let us see who will be stressed.

She continued from where I stopped by buying deep freezer, blender etc.

Once it is their money, they can never waste it.

yahoodetector:
Your wife is definitely one of those sit-at-home jobless women who do nothing but stay in the house and have some group of other women she gossips with all day long.

Na those women she dey give that food. You better send her packing before she will destroy you

See me see heavy laughter o

When husband and wife are joined together, they become one.

ThunderFireAgba:

I pity those men that use to give their girl friend or wife monthly allowance. If you can set up something for her to be doing, what she does with it no concern you. If she squanders it or grow the business tells you the kind of woman you married or have.

Kobojunkiee:
You are not the first man to earn money abeg and you are not the first man to earn and cook at the same time, so please make we hear word. If you wanted a wife who earned money for her family too, you would have married a woman who did just that so let's not deviate.

You have a situation where clearly, you and your wife see things differently. Instead of creating an issue where an issue really ought not to exist— anyone can cook— the easiest solution would be to take over the cooking yourself and do so the way you prefer it done. They say if you want something done right you have to do it yourself that is why I gave you the suggestion from earlier.

So because he wants things to be done right he should always go to the kitchen for an adult(his wife). What happens to the saying" learning on the job"? So for over a decade the wife has still not learn how to contain waste.. For your information, consider such woman as foolish. What is so difficult to adjust?

vazsily:
Them say who dey ask questions no dey miss road. Although with the Internet crazy people are bound so I am circumspect.

I have been married over 15 years and in that time I have always complained about the way my wife over cooks and then start looking for who to share the food with in the name of giving alms. You would think having managed kitchen and home for that long, food measurement should come naturally.

I have not taking much interest until with the recent inflation and high cost of goods in the market. And why I struggle with the Grace of God to earn a living, madam on the other hand thinks going to the market regularly and living above my salary na achievement without any adjustment. The matter don tire me, I want to simply pick my bags and run but for the kids.

Responsibility is a choice but I think she's abusing it. Giving to the poor comes naturally for me but you must be wise about it. How do i resolve this?

It might be a ritual in her family that has been passed to her. I will suggest you have a family finance system put in place, a budget for every thing money is spent on has to be itemized in the home. If the food budget is 100k, if she exceeds it, it should be Clear that there are no bail out. The problem is you are giving money for food upon request, money should be shared by budget, I will suggest you start with weekly food budget, to give her a latitude to make mistakes, fixing a weeks mistake is easier than month mistake, when she has learnt, you can then make it a monthly thing. She will come with many excuses, just make sure you don't crack.

stormborn28:
■ So because he wants things to be done right he should always go to the kitchen for an adult(his wife).
■ What happens to the saying" learning on the job"?
■ So for over a decade the wife has still not learn how to contain waste.. For your information, consider such woman as foolish. What is so difficult to adjust?

He is equally an adult so why can't he be in the kitchen again?

2. I never knew that was a saying that applied as far as everyone.

3. Well, no one put a gun to OP's head when he married her or chose to stay married to her for 15 years so I am not sure why you think calling her foolish changes or solves anything at this point.

cooooooks:
When husband and wife are joined together, they become one.

In agreement, not in some mythical spirit or soul like Africans or your gods of men like to fill your heads with through their many fables.

bonnyhope:


15yrs hm don try na

Make you try it for 1 Yr make we see

LOL...

vazsily:


He who wears a shoe knows where it hurts the most! In summary i should quit complaining and cook myself after all i won't be the first; your suggestion!! I will not divulge beyond my complaint of food waste and it is pertinent to note that I am least astonished by your off key notes. Why you tell Tinubu make e self fuel for petrol station so that the price will be exactly how he wants it bcoz he cannot delegate or rely on his subordinate!!

Bros abeg no mind that idiot wey dey always feel say him be star guidance and counselor with the foolish emoji he attaches to his write ups.
Only he who wears the shoes knows where it pinches

Kobojunkiee:
He is equally an adult so why can't he be in the kitchen again?

2. I never knew that was a saying that applied as far as everyone.

3. Well, no one put a gun to OP's head when he married her or chose to stay married to her for 15 years so I am not sure why you think calling her foolish changes or solves anything at this point.

So OP should go to the kitchen and cook because he want to contain waste which his wife a grow adult can not learn to do after several advice. Then I will consider she a woman unlearned. Probably she is not educated