Iceman2017:
Please I need your help and advice. This post might be a little bit longer.

I met my baby mama through a friend in January 2023 and we bonded So well. The relationship was so lovely and I supported her in her academics and also helped her to acquire some skills, which I will not go in details to avoid a long thread.

Simp!

Iceman2017:
Please I need your help and advice. This post might be a little bit longer.

I met my baby mama through a friend in January 2023 and we bonded So well. The relationship was so lovely and I supported her in her academics and also helped her to acquire some skills, which I will not go in details to avoid a long thread.

Fast forward to may 2023, I proposed to her and she accepted the proposal. Though she earlier told me that her mother wanted her to marry from her village but she loved me and will want to spend her life with me.

Yea, we are from different state but the same tribe. After the proposal, I told her that I want to come and see her parents for proper introduction, and she told me to wait first, that she want me to meet her mom first.
Then her mother traveled and she spent like 2 months before she came back.

Fast forward to second Sunday of July, I went to see her mother. I bought some things and went there. She accepted me and told me that they are Christian family. That they will pray and seek the will of God before she will ask me to come for other things. That I should give them time.

So, after that brief introduction, my girl change. Though we were talking everyday as usual but I noticed that she was sliding away somehow. I confronted her about that which she denied and assured me of her commitment in our relationship.

I had my birthday that same month, my girl sent me personal messages on WhatsApp and text but she failed to post me on her WhatsApp status or even Facebook. But I didn't take that serious, but my friends that have her number began to ask some questions why my woman failed to post me on her status.
They even confronted her and later she apologized to me and gave me one stupid reason that she doesn't want her people to see her post of me. Since the family is already praying, that they told her to minimise the way she Relate with me so that our steady communication will not influence her decision or affect the prayer.

By the ending of July, she ran some test and discovered that she's pregnant. She called me and even sent the PT test to me. I invited her, calmed her down and promise to be by her side.
I told her not to tell her people yet. That she should ask her people when they want me to come for the marriage rights and if they ask me to come, we must have done everything before they would know of the pregnancy. She insisted of telling them, that her mother would know. She was crying and was so much worried of what people will say, what the church will say and bla bla bla. I tried my best to calm her down.
I told her that we need to visit hospital to run a proper test instead of the urine test. She said it should be upto 2 months which I declined and I reminded her the day we had sex, that in my calculation, it should be 3 weeks.

She went home that day and the next day she went to see her elder sister. After that very day, my girl totally changed. She refused to go for the test I told her. She was like she don't want to run any test, that if I insist that it will be by Saturday of that week.
I got annoyed and later that Wednesday night, I asked if she was really pregnant, she said yes and I asked her if I'm responsible for the pregnancy. She got mad and ended the call.
The next day I went to her house, I heard her praying inside. The sister asked me to wait for her outside. After her prayer, she came out and told me that her dad is around, that since he doesn't know of me yet, that she don't want to bring me in.
The next day, she told me that no need to go for that test again, that she's no more pregnant. I was confused. I contacted her friend which she reported me to when I asked her if I'm responsible for her pregnancy. She told her friend that I got her pregnant and want to deny her.
When I told her friend what she said, she told her friend the same thing. I asked her if she took abortion pill, she said no. She was like she declared a word of faith and God has taken away the pregnancy. The whole thing sounded so stupid to me. I was more confused because she sounded with so much convintion

But I insisted on going for the test. I took her for the test and the result came out the next day and it was positive. When I collected the result, I asked her to come around so we can talk but she refused and told me that she won't come to my house again.
I tried so many times so we can talk, she kept hiding from me until after 2 weeks, she asked Me to come to her side. I went there, she took me to one church close to her house.
She told me that she don't want to go ahead with the marriage, that she want to hear from God. That if I want to travel out or do whatever I want to do, that I should go ahead and do it. That she will wait on God no matter how long it will take. After some days
I went to see her elder sister. The elder sister told me that their mother swore that anybody from my state and few other states she mentioned will not marry any of her daughter's. That any of her daughter that refused, she will never had any relationship with the very daughter and she would assume that the person is dead.
That even the very first day my girl mentioned my name to her mom. She was not happy.

To cut the whole thing short, they took the girl to a hidden location. They want her to stay there and gave birth there. When she was about two months pregnant, I asked her to go to hospital and enquire about atenental. She said I should send 20k for it. I sent her 20k

They now lied against me that I sent her 20k to go and run test to check the gender of the baby.
The mom told me to forget about the girl and the baby. That I should take it as one of the relationship things. That I shouldn't send any money again to her.
The girl has blocked me both on WhatsApp and Facebook.
I am not interested in the marriage again. All I want to know if there are legal ways I can have access to my baby. I never denied her in any way. Even In the relationship, she can't say that I wronged her.
Around early November, she returned my engagement ring. She told me that I will never see the baby nor have any relationship with the baby.
When I asked her what I did wrong. She couldn't utter a world. She kept saying unrelated things. She has been looking for excuses and reasons to hold against me.

She's 25 while I'm at my 30's.

Pls u don’t need to drag her .. when the baby comes do a DNA test it’s 125k then from there make sure you have enough money to carry any needs and do a nice naming ceremony.. women who are young tend to be scared of marriage .. don’t force it down her neck .. just be the cool cat .. work like u need to feed people everyday .. because when the baby comes that’s what will happen ur spending will multiply by 5

Streetmovement:
Wotoporiously speaking

Baba if you get the strong mind wey I get, you go forget that babe and the baby, leave them make them dey their dey, time will tell, that pikin go find you come one day no matter the brainwashed stories wey dem go feed am.

Blood is thicker than water no matter how many times you dilute am.

Just pray a simple prayer to God, sit back and relax, watch the magic that will unfold in years to come.

You no get any strong mind na Shame and lack of ability to be responsible na him Dey worry you .. forget girl with child make dem Dey suffer Make u Dey enjoy .. you are not a man .. and you no get way forward I am sorry woman that will marry you .. this mindset u no fit keep house

advanceDNA:


Icemañ..this pikin wey u dey drag is likely not ur own............even if her mama dey influence her.. her attitude did not in anyway show that u made the baby in her womb together..

Baba .... Face ur life ....get better and get rich...

Inflation dey touch everybody...if na truly ur baby which I strongly, strongly, strongly doubt........relax....Dem go go call u......my boss wife wey carry 4 children vex comot, claiming she will deprive him of seeing his children forever don come back dey ask for school fees and monthly upkeep......

Thank you brother. I've thought about that also. Because I can't fathom any reason that prompted to her actions.

Fattycheque:
You met someone this January and you already planning marriage around July. She is in her prime expect her to do that. And next time, not every relationship will leads to marriage, have that at the back of your mind. Don't be in a hurry during relationship.

There is no proof yet that the baby is urs... if there is proof, get a lawyer and explain everything to the lawyer; her family will be served papers. U will all meet Maybe in court and probably they wil give her a verdict to allow you see the baby anytime u want and at a public place...

And another thing, don't ever allow emotion make u do stupid thing; if you take laws into ur own hands and you are caught, u will end up behind the bar... just imagine that woman will now have time to deal with u very well...

The baby is not yet born. Honestly, I want to have relationship with my child. I know normally I suppose to support her but, let it not be like I got her pregnant and abandoned her.
But they've made everything so difficult for me.

Authoreety:
So many girls that age are so terribly... Daft!

Imagine allowing her mum ruin her relationship... Bros let her be for now and for a very long time..

Leave her alone... She's not worth the stress since you have played ur own noble part of trying to right the wrong

Thank you...

ExudeLoveToAll:



Wether terminate or Keep both moves are wrong.

I can't even get to this stage with a girl, you didn't pray while we were getting along you now found it worthy to pray for 39years when I want to marry you you go pray tire no evidence.

We prayed brother. In fact she's a church type. She literally lives in church.
Is not that I just rushed into a relationship. We took our time and everything seems so normal. And it was really lovely but these changes starts when the pregnancy hit in

ikeno:
Oga, are you sure you're the father of that child? U met her Jan,by July she told you she's pregnant and she's 2month off but you insisted you had sex with her 3weeks prior so let's assume it's June and i know say pregnancy na 9months dem dey carry am, the belle never suppose reach 9months talk less of giving birth. I just dey ask, you sure say na you get belle.

She's still pregnant and probably will be due for delivery by ending of march from my calculation.
The issue now is that they hide her from me.

duduade:
Take your mind off it
Cause from the way you wrote up there you are obviously emotionally disturbed already about the issue
Leave them for now when, calculate birth period from now ... After you have done your due investigations silently that she has given birth and she's comfortable taking care of the baby

Strike by requesting for a DNA first

Thank you

Op let me give u my true life time experience, my girlfriend back in nasrawa state ,eggon by tribe precisely ,while I am ibgo by tribe ,run away with my pregnancy ,I try reaching them back then in 2009 but ,to no avail .....only for the mother to call me and said that the child is dead...fast forward to 2017 my then exgirkfriend was asking for my number true my friend in nasarawa state.... while after graduating in uni ,I relocated to Enugu...I said he give number....lo and behold,my exgirlfriend told that her mom is already late ,,,,that the child didn't die ,,,that is her mom that formed that logic ,so that the will take the baby away....I said ok let her send me the picture of the child,,,,the child just resemble me everywhere.....let me stop here....if the child is yours ,trust me even if it is after ten years the will come searching for u

Trustedapparel:
Op let me give u my true life time experience, my girlfriend back in nasrawa state ,eggon by tribe precisely ,while I am ibgo by tribe ,run away with my pregnancy ,I try reaching them back then in 2009 but ,to no avail .....only for the mother to call me and said that the child is dead...fast forward to 2017 my then exgirkfriend was asking for my number true my friend in nasarawa state.... while after graduating in uni ,I relocated to Enugu...I said he give number....lo and behold,my exgirlfriend told that her mom is already late ,,,,that the child didn't die ,,,that is her mom that formed that logic ,so that the will take the baby away....I said ok let her send me the picture of the child,,,,the child just resemble me everywhere.....let me stop here....if the child is yours ,trust me even if it is after ten years the will come searching for u

Thank you brother.

Exactly or let me say almost exactly same thing happened to me. Forget them and move on. She's not worth ur stress. Telling u from experience bro

Iceman2017:
Please I need your help and advice. This post might be a little bit longer.

I met my baby mama through a friend in January 2023 and we bonded So well. The relationship was so lovely and I supported her in her academics and also helped her to acquire some skills, which I will not go in details to avoid a long thread.

Fast forward to may 2023, I proposed to her and she accepted the proposal. Though she earlier told me that her mother wanted her to marry from her village but she loved me and will want to spend her life with me.

Yea, we are from different state but the same tribe. After the proposal, I told her that I want to come and see her parents for proper introduction, and she told me to wait first, that she want me to meet her mom first.
Then her mother traveled and she spent like 2 months before she came back.

Fast forward to second Sunday of July, I went to see her mother. I bought some things and went there. She accepted me and told me that they are Christian family. That they will pray and seek the will of God before she will ask me to come for other things. That I should give them time.

So, after that brief introduction, my girl change. Though we were talking everyday as usual but I noticed that she was sliding away somehow. I confronted her about that which she denied and assured me of her commitment in our relationship.

I had my birthday that same month, my girl sent me personal messages on WhatsApp and text but she failed to post me on her WhatsApp status or even Facebook. But I didn't take that serious, but my friends that have her number began to ask some questions why my woman failed to post me on her status.
They even confronted her and later she apologized to me and gave me one stupid reason that she doesn't want her people to see her post of me. Since the family is already praying, that they told her to minimise the way she Relate with me so that our steady communication will not influence her decision or affect the prayer.

By the ending of July, she ran some test and discovered that she's pregnant. She called me and even sent the PT test to me. I invited her, calmed her down and promise to be by her side.
I told her not to tell her people yet. That she should ask her people when they want me to come for the marriage rights and if they ask me to come, we must have done everything before they would know of the pregnancy. She insisted of telling them, that her mother would know. She was crying and was so much worried of what people will say, what the church will say and bla bla bla. I tried my best to calm her down.
I told her that we need to visit hospital to run a proper test instead of the urine test. She said it should be upto 2 months which I declined and I reminded her the day we had sex, that in my calculation, it should be 3 weeks.

She went home that day and the next day she went to see her elder sister. After that very day, my girl totally changed. She refused to go for the test I told her. She was like she don't want to run any test, that if I insist that it will be by Saturday of that week.
I got annoyed and later that Wednesday night, I asked if she was really pregnant, she said yes and I asked her if I'm responsible for the pregnancy. She got mad and ended the call.
The next day I went to her house, I heard her praying inside. The sister asked me to wait for her outside. After her prayer, she came out and told me that her dad is around, that since he doesn't know of me yet, that she don't want to bring me in.
The next day, she told me that no need to go for that test again, that she's no more pregnant. I was confused. I contacted her friend which she reported me to when I asked her if I'm responsible for her pregnancy. She told her friend that I got her pregnant and want to deny her.
When I told her friend what she said, she told her friend the same thing. I asked her if she took abortion pill, she said no. She was like she declared a word of faith and God has taken away the pregnancy. The whole thing sounded so stupid to me. I was more confused because she sounded with so much convintion

But I insisted on going for the test. I took her for the test and the result came out the next day and it was positive. When I collected the result, I asked her to come around so we can talk but she refused and told me that she won't come to my house again.
I tried so many times so we can talk, she kept hiding from me until after 2 weeks, she asked Me to come to her side. I went there, she took me to one church close to her house.
She told me that she don't want to go ahead with the marriage, that she want to hear from God. That if I want to travel out or do whatever I want to do, that I should go ahead and do it. That she will wait on God no matter how long it will take. After some days
I went to see her elder sister. The elder sister told me that their mother swore that anybody from my state and few other states she mentioned will not marry any of her daughter's. That any of her daughter that refused, she will never had any relationship with the very daughter and she would assume that the person is dead.
That even the very first day my girl mentioned my name to her mom. She was not happy.

To cut the whole thing short, they took the girl to a hidden location. They want her to stay there and gave birth there. When she was about two months pregnant, I asked her to go to hospital and enquire about atenental. She said I should send 20k for it. I sent her 20k

They now lied against me that I sent her 20k to go and run test to check the gender of the baby.
The mom told me to forget about the girl and the baby. That I should take it as one of the relationship things. That I shouldn't send any money again to her.
The girl has blocked me both on WhatsApp and Facebook.
I am not interested in the marriage again. All I want to know if there are legal ways I can have access to my baby. I never denied her in any way. Even In the relationship, she can't say that I wronged her.
Around early November, she returned my engagement ring. She told me that I will never see the baby nor have any relationship with the baby.
When I asked her what I did wrong. She couldn't utter a world. She kept saying unrelated things. She has been looking for excuses and reasons to hold against me.

She's 25 while I'm at my 30's.

The way the story was narrated her reaction was that of guilt.
The kid isn't yours, and she knows it.
She cut you off to make the pain easier.
Her mum might be narcissistic because of the lies she told her.
So if you are interested, go and file a case against her, it's a custody case.
And you can tender your proof.
It isn't hard

Iceman2017:


She's still pregnant and probably will be due for delivery by ending of march from my calculation.
The issue now is that they hide her from me.

If you truly believe the baby is yours why not go with some elders to meet her parent and tell them even though if they don't want you to marry their daughter they can't deny you access to your baby it's your blood and you need to there for her.

Came4amod:


You no get any strong mind na Shame and lack of ability to be responsible na him Dey worry you .. forget girl with child make dem Dey suffer Make u Dey enjoy .. you are not a man .. and you no get way forward I am sorry woman that will marry you .. this mindset u no fit keep house

Answering him sef was of no use, is his type that will later come online and start lamenting how the mother of kids turned his kids against him, forgetting that the people he neglected as babies,will soon turn into adults.

excanny:
Just forget and move on. When you are very successful, they will come looking for you.

Dey play
The mother won't be successful as well bah?
It's a simple thing,if only he's really sure he owns the baby.

Lol. I will not read.

Justkatty:
Dey play
The mother won't be successful as well bah?
It's a simple thing,if only he's really sure he owns the baby.

Even when women are successful, they still go around looking for free money from a man. Check out Elon Musk's ex Grimes, despite all her money, she's still looking for child custody money.

The reason he's experiencing this drama is because he cares.

Once they noticed he's not interested, they will be chasing him around to come take his responsibility.

Streetmovement:
Wotoporiously speaking

Baba if you get the strong mind wey I get, you go forget that babe and the baby, leave them make them dey their dey, time will tell, that pikin go find you come one day no matter the brainwashed stories wey dem go feed am.

Blood is thicker than water no matter how many times you dilute am.

Just pray a simple prayer to God, sit back and relax, watch the magic that will unfold in years to come.

u wicked no matter anything haba,no be by say leave pikin if them no want no force the girl let them abort it they want to while you move on...so u go guy mind abandon your own blood

ikeno:

If you truly believe the baby is yours why not go with some elders to meet her parent and tell them even though if they don't want you to marry their daughter they can't deny you access to your baby it's your blood and you need to there for her.

I met somebody from her village and he told me that it will be a bad idea. In their village, they accept babies born out of wedlock. That the elders in their village will stand in favour of the girl and her family. Whatever logic I may bring, for the fact that I haven't done anything, they will never support me.

When they warned u should be careful with vaginal gender you refused now see your life, you should have detected that she was a kid from the get go but No you didn't.
Go and drag the kid with her now, agbaya, better move on with your life coz as far as this Nigeria is concerned that kid belongs to the mother because you didn't marry the lady neither did you pay bride price.

Go and rest.

Op I've been in this position before in 2019 and I can tell you it's not pretty, my gfs mom did same thing to me as it's happening to you and my gf also listened to her mom as yours is doing today. It was hard for me like you today too but I somehow moved on. Look man just move on and you will be fine. Your kid will be fine and one day you will see your kid, just work on being better and successful

Father of which child? Do u think that her mum will not tell her to terminate it... ..... Dey Play ▶️ 😎Father of which child? Do u think that her mum will not tell her to terminate it... ..... Dey Play ▶️ 😎...

Bro forget her and move on with your life

lordnkem000:
Op I've been in this position before in 2019 and I can tell you it's not pretty, my gfs mom did same thing to me as it's happening to you and my gf also listened to her mom as yours is doing today. It was hard for me like you today too but I somehow moved on. Look man just move on and you will be fine. Your kid will be fine and one day you will see your kid, just work on being better and successful

Thank you

Iceman2017:


Thank you brother. I've thought about that also. Because I can't fathom any reason that prompted to her actions.

She's with the real baby daddy.

Iceman2017:
Please I need your help and advice. This post might be a little bit longer.

I met my baby mama through a friend in January 2023 and we bonded So well. The relationship was so lovely and I supported her in her academics and also helped her to acquire some skills, which I will not go in details to avoid a long thread.

Fast forward to may 2023, I proposed to her and she accepted the proposal. Though she earlier told me that her mother wanted her to marry from her village but she loved me and will want to spend her life with me.

Yea, we are from different state but the same tribe. After the proposal, I told her that I want to come and see her parents for proper introduction, and she told me to wait first, that she want me to meet her mom first.
Then her mother traveled and she spent like 2 months before she came back.

Fast forward to second Sunday of July, I went to see her mother. I bought some things and went there. She accepted me and told me that they are Christian family. That they will pray and seek the will of God before she will ask me to come for other things. That I should give them time.

So, after that brief introduction, my girl change. Though we were talking everyday as usual but I noticed that she was sliding away somehow. I confronted her about that which she denied and assured me of her commitment in our relationship.

I had my birthday that same month, my girl sent me personal messages on WhatsApp and text but she failed to post me on her WhatsApp status or even Facebook. But I didn't take that serious, but my friends that have her number began to ask some questions why my woman failed to post me on her status.
They even confronted her and later she apologized to me and gave me one stupid reason that she doesn't want her people to see her post of me. Since the family is already praying, that they told her to minimise the way she Relate with me so that our steady communication will not influence her decision or affect the prayer.

By the ending of July, she ran some test and discovered that she's pregnant. She called me and even sent the PT test to me. I invited her, calmed her down and promise to be by her side.
I told her not to tell her people yet. That she should ask her people when they want me to come for the marriage rights and if they ask me to come, we must have done everything before they would know of the pregnancy. She insisted of telling them, that her mother would know. She was crying and was so much worried of what people will say, what the church will say and bla bla bla. I tried my best to calm her down.
I told her that we need to visit hospital to run a proper test instead of the urine test. She said it should be upto 2 months which I declined and I reminded her the day we had sex, that in my calculation, it should be 3 weeks.

She went home that day and the next day she went to see her elder sister. After that very day, my girl totally changed. She refused to go for the test I told her. She was like she don't want to run any test, that if I insist that it will be by Saturday of that week.
I got annoyed and later that Wednesday night, I asked if she was really pregnant, she said yes and I asked her if I'm responsible for the pregnancy. She got mad and ended the call.
The next day I went to her house, I heard her praying inside. The sister asked me to wait for her outside. After her prayer, she came out and told me that her dad is around, that since he doesn't know of me yet, that she don't want to bring me in.
The next day, she told me that no need to go for that test again, that she's no more pregnant. I was confused. I contacted her friend which she reported me to when I asked her if I'm responsible for her pregnancy. She told her friend that I got her pregnant and want to deny her.
When I told her friend what she said, she told her friend the same thing. I asked her if she took abortion pill, she said no. She was like she declared a word of faith and God has taken away the pregnancy. The whole thing sounded so stupid to me. I was more confused because she sounded with so much convintion

But I insisted on going for the test. I took her for the test and the result came out the next day and it was positive. When I collected the result, I asked her to come around so we can talk but she refused and told me that she won't come to my house again.
I tried so many times so we can talk, she kept hiding from me until after 2 weeks, she asked Me to come to her side. I went there, she took me to one church close to her house.
She told me that she don't want to go ahead with the marriage, that she want to hear from God. That if I want to travel out or do whatever I want to do, that I should go ahead and do it. That she will wait on God no matter how long it will take. After some days
I went to see her elder sister. The elder sister told me that their mother swore that anybody from my state and few other states she mentioned will not marry any of her daughter's. That any of her daughter that refused, she will never had any relationship with the very daughter and she would assume that the person is dead.
That even the very first day my girl mentioned my name to her mom. She was not happy.

To cut the whole thing short, they took the girl to a hidden location. They want her to stay there and gave birth there. When she was about two months pregnant, I asked her to go to hospital and enquire about atenental. She said I should send 20k for it. I sent her 20k

They now lied against me that I sent her 20k to go and run test to check the gender of the baby.
The mom told me to forget about the girl and the baby. That I should take it as one of the relationship things. That I shouldn't send any money again to her.
The girl has blocked me both on WhatsApp and Facebook.
I am not interested in the marriage again. All I want to know if there are legal ways I can have access to my baby. I never denied her in any way. Even In the relationship, she can't say that I wronged her.
Around early November, she returned my engagement ring. She told me that I will never see the baby nor have any relationship with the baby.
When I asked her what I did wrong. She couldn't utter a world. She kept saying unrelated things. She has been looking for excuses and reasons to hold against me.

She's 25 while I'm at my 30's.

Proceed with legal actions. Go and narrate Ur ordeal to human rights. They are in the best position to help you out since Ur intentions are pure...