What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

I will pray and work to be able to build our own house in my compound.

Any of her belongings that she does not willingly give to me is not worth fighting for, because what is gotten through violence may easily massage ego but can hardly give real happiness. I want to live long. You will die young if you don't overlook or endure certain things in marriage.

ADDED:
To those who attack me: My philosophy and attitude inspire my comments. Your own philosophy and attitude inspire your own comments. Suit yourself.

But let's be realistic. If you fight your wife in this case, you have at least two big problems to face for the rest of your life. One, you won't be happy, whether you claim the house or not. Two, to you, you are fighting for your matrimonial right. But to your wife and outsiders, the narrative will be that you are a poor lazy man who depends on his wife's wealth. This is one of the worst forms of insult to a married man. After all, most men say they don't want their wives to be richer than them. So, why would you be desperate to collect the house?😀

But if you don't fight her, you have only one problem to face. That problem is the ill feeling of having such a wife. But you have an added advantage. Her betrayal will make her not to challenge you when you help your family members and your friends. Because she first betrayed you, she cannot complain but die in silence when you use your wealth to help other people.

It could be because both of u aren't on the same page.

I will support her with a trailer of dangote cement.

Nothing, I will give her a thumb up. Cuz today's marriage is not built on a solid foundation.

Hmmm why is she hiding it from me?
To continuing billing me I guess?

I will ignore her and unleash my own secret on her.

It means we will keep alot of secrets in that marriage, who says I can't secretly marry and start another family elsewhere before kicking her out

NB I will support her if she is open about it and has been supporting in our home.

that's the deepest from of betrayal. i'll advice you review this for tips

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

its a very complex issue, first of all
we need to know the dynamics in her marriage, remember a men can be the head of the house, but might be a poor person in creating a future for the kids

Sorry. She won't do this.

I will do nothing. She used her money, not mine.

That's deep for me I'll just let it be don't worth fighting for. Then rearrange myself and keep more secrets to myself

I will go and build a Duplex in my side chicks family House of which she must be away.
Since she doesn't have sense

Reading

Know a couple of Yoruba wives who have done this. Not being tribalistic, just that all of them wey I know na Yoruba.

Guess they wanna play safe should their man marries another woman as is prevailent among Yoruba Men.

As for how I got to know, people mostly trust me enough to open up to me.

And when they know You're the sort who don't spread information (me dey forget our discuss as you dey talk am, hence you never would hhear it elsewhere except it's from you) about, then they don't have issues doing AMEBO with you.

As for mua, I give listening ear, afterall, AMEBO sweet especially when no be you be the subject

Marriage don spoil.. Cux I will assume she is keeping many more secrets from me.. Na to go find wife wen go dey open up to me..

UptownVibes:
Marriage don spoil.. Cux I will assume she is keeping many more secrets from me.. Na to go find wife wen go dey open up to me..

Bros, just understand there always would be SECRETs with WOMEN. See eh, e get plenty WIVEs wey don do family planning so as not to have any more kids, without their Husband's consent. Oga go just dey wahala himself, unknown to him, Madam don lock up till further notice. Mostly prevailent amng the Yorubas mostly because it's their Women who care for themselves + their Kids.

Among the Igbos, if you like give Madam belle 10-times, na ontop the man head most expenses dey, except Him get Madam wey sabbi support the family BUT among the Yorubas, more of their children's welfare is on the woman hence they now have sense of limiiting the number of Kids so when the man remarries or stops giving the little He brings, they would be able to manage.

emmanuelewumi:

Yes Yoruba women are encouraged to have houses, investments and other income generating assets. Yoruba women are entitled to inheritance from their parents.

My late grandma had houses , my late mother had a house, all my sisters have investment properties.

Na wife you marry, no be slave. But the wife as a partner who is making her own money is required to have a financial role in the running of the household expenses

...but we talking about secretly BUILDing, not inheriting. Other tribes does same. igbos also could build BUT why do most Yoruba women do theirs [secretly] ? it's mostly because their stay with the Man isn't guaranteed. The man could chase Her away or remarry and careLess for her hence their primary motivation of trying to fend for themselves.
Most wouldn't bother building a HOUSE or saving up secretly if their future with their MAN is guaranteed.

Lekan239:
if people could be discussing Amebo with you. It makes me think what kind of live you are leaving and the area you live... is it me that is staying alone with my family in my compound will see someone to do amebo with. Or otedola that is staying in his big mansion/Estate will be doing amebo

An honest response here could be seen as bragging so I prefer...

None of my business

😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You people have come again with this secret house matter. For crying out loud, let the secret builders breeefffff.. it's their money they are using to build, not yours and every one has a right to how they use their money and what they use it for and do not owe any body papa any explanation; be you husband or wife. Haba!

As long as your Money is not in the equation, face front.

As long as the house is not posing a threat to you as the wife or husband, you have the right to face front!!!

As long as it doesn't make your spouse reduce their love and respect for you, 👉👉👉 ⏩⏩.

Let's stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Nothing there and if it bothers you, go and build your own!

Ok

I will jejely ask her to move to her new house. We are done.

I will do nothing cos na her money na ,haba.

I will feel bad and confront her

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Always be detailed.

She no try na.. Especially if She has kids. Unless there's plenty money sha. But if U guys are not fully comfortable and she runs it she no try. To even do it without the Man's consent is worse. But every House with their problem. My Uncle go build house for em wife Family, now em say na Juju dem use tie em eye 😂😂..

You think most modern women care about the above? If you go and marry another woman, her life goes on. Just don't keep turning back to nag or fight for the children.

ogawisdom:
Hmmm why is she hiding it from me?
To continuing billing me I guess?

I will ignore her and unleash my own secret on her.

It means we will keep alot of secrets in that marriage, who says I can't secretly marry and start another family elsewhere before kicking her out

NB I will support her if she is open about it and has been supporting in our home.

If it's her money fine . Common sense should tell her our kids can't inherit it. Women are fond of doing this, don't know why

id4sho:
If it's her money fine

I know one who trained their Last Born, and built a house in her home town, from the weekly feeding money Her husband gives her.
As in, She sabi save. She go collect money for Gas even when e never finish, weekly feeding money (since the husband only come back on weekends), etc , then she go cook ewedu + stew + pomo with semo/amala and na wetin she go dey manage. Same She go still kiri (hawk) medicine in the evenings to make extra money.

Sometimes me go just dey wish na Me first her Husband catch am even though She be Yoruba + Muslim. Such women, when they know their place is assured, would really be helpful, unlike the wasteful ones wey be say if you no buy matches or kerosine, She go dey wait for you.

She's told me she sometimes borrows her husband money but careful make him no ask questions - He thinks it's all from the evening Hawking she does.

Me dey borrow money from her hand wella mostly because it's a shortcut than going to make withdrawals from bank. She's confiident lending me because She knows I have cappacity to pay back. And it's cheaper for Her as She doesn't need go to bank to make deposit, or pay POS agent to make the deposit. I would make transfer later on when I have it. There was a time She had 150,000 naira. How she dey take accumulate am, me no know.

e get one wey her Husband don build house, She automatically turn House wife doing nothing other than WakeUp last, sleep first. Even to weed the compound, na still the husband go do am whenever He's home. He works out of the states, and comes back every 2 or 3-weeks.
Once heard the wife fit chop Indomie with 7-eggs. Wouldn't doubt it, not because I was told by an Alfa, but because I have seen her with about 2,000 naira and a small bucket returning from a nearBy poultry where I presumed She went to buy eggs but didn't see one, and I know She doesn't sell, even though the house her Husband built has about 4 or 5 shops in front all locked Up.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Na wife you marry no be slave


I don't see any big deal in this if she is making her own money and also contributing her own quota towards the running of the house