WilsonBright935:


Chief... It actually depends on what your wife tells the Home Office or the police. If she accuse you of domestic abuse, I'm afraid Home Office/ court could give you 3 months ultimatum to pack your things and leave the UK.

You might as well be given grace to look for COS within a given time.

The best thing now is to secretly look for COS (without her notice if possible). But for the main time, lay low.


And try and work back to back so far your working hour is not restricted. Gather enough money so you can rely on if things go south.

Shalom!!!

U heard it here OP.COS is god. In your case.represent your fathere well.

Chai!
See as person dey plan Movement to prevent Wife wen Him marry from destroying him?

Ladies/Women shey una see wetin una yeyenatu don dey cause so?

I think men need to know how to address their displeasure with their partners without being offensive or escalating the issues.

How hard is it to have a civil conversation with ur partner or better yet a woman who bore u 3kids?

Why are u afraid she may send u out of the house in future just after a month of joining her?

Most of this is due to ineffective communication skills and then we allow the issue to fester and resentment to grow.

Wear your thinking cap

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

Since it's obvious that if you bring Nigeria woman abroad to live with you as your wife, she will still misbehave. Best thing is leave her back in Nigeria. Visit her frequently in Nigeria.

-Stay within the law and ensure you record every of her abusive moves towards you. You can use those evidence to get permanent residency, if you really want to stay in the UK in your own right.

-At the moment, you have as much rights as her.

-However, I would advise you and any other man relocating to the UK or the West, NEVER assume full responsibility for your family. In the West it is a shared responsibility between you and your wife, that's why they call it partnership. If you must buy a property, make sure your partner contribute as much as you do as well as share your bills equally if possible, otherwise share it based on percentage of earnings.

-Never contribute more than you should. You're no longer in Africa.

Its sad but its true. Its a sad reality a lot of Nigerian Men are now confronted with. Even seemingly tight marriages are being shaken too their core. you must unlearn what you thought were the role of a man or woman is in a marriage, and now learn you are copilots in this ship, with her holding the keys to the engine room. Put your faith on God and trust He would reward your efforts. Those men we all read about are no less and any one of use. what men need now is serious mercy and grace from Heaven.

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Please apply for talent visa or skilled visa or another other visa so you don't receive a shocker.

They don humble Baba ...staying a fool ..so what happens afterwards .. you start to show your true colors ...

Notfogotten:

So let me lay low for the next 7 months.

Sharp guy. Just pretend and they get your papers.
Thereafter, move on.

The biggest mistake a married man can make is carrying his wife to the UK as Primary Applicant.

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

Sharp thought

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Address the red flags first before anything else.If the marriage should end now , so be it.It’s better than living a lie.

Mallam why are you afraid?

Ahmed0336:
I was discussing with my wife the other day and she brought the issue of relocating.
I told her I don't have plans to leave so she can go ahead. But as for the kids, they'd definitely leave this country when the time is right.
No be me woman go show shege for another man's land

Men be wise. Women are fake! 90% of times, you married the brokenness in her. If she’s saying yes sir and being submissive in marriage, it’s the brokenness In her that’s submissive.

Real wives are the ones who have some financial freedom and still remain submissive. Such women are always of inestimable values, rare and respected by their husbands.

Beware of wives who came from very poor backgrounds. They don’t even know themselves. If your wife and you quarrel a lot here in Nigeria of she argues a lot don’t ever try to take her abroad if you cherish that marriage.


Most wives don’t like you. They are staying because they had no options at that time.

A wife that has the fear of God should be the target but where are they?!!! Social media has killed our fabrics. Expect the worst in the next 10 years.

PDJT:
-Stay within the law and ensure you record every of her abusive moves towards you. You can use those evidence to get permanent residency, if you really want to stay in the UK in your own right.

-At the moment, you have as much rights as her.

-However, I would advise you and any other man relocating to the UK or the West, NEVER assume full responsibility for your family. In the West it is a shared responsibility between you and your wife, that's why they call it partnership. If you must buy a property, make sure your partner contribute as much as you do as well as share your bills equally if possible, otherwise share it based on percentage of earnings.

-Never contribute more than you should. You're no longer in Africa.

@Notforgotten. Read this.

abobote:

You didn't go through the thread.

She was there before him

So?? Going there before him now means he didn't pay for her going.....abi u nor know how jappa works for most naija couples

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

To reply your question

Once your wife who is the main applicant terminates your marriage,

You will be asked to leave the UK within 3months (90 days).

Your only option is get another visa that will sponsor your stay.

Also consider investing in camera to capture any domestic violence that may occur. It might be your saving grace.

Babangidapikin:
They don humble Baba ...staying a fool ..so what happens afterwards .. you start to show your true colors ...

Him go turn rainbow.

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

😂 smart move my Gee

Stay away from ladies that are breadwinners in their family.

erico2k2:

Answer is yes that is why right now u beter go get COS fast as backup.

what is COS?

If you know that your wife has a tendency to challenge your authority at any opportunity or share power equally, or enjoys controlling you, japa is not for the 2 of you. When she leaves to where culture and govt give her the opportunity, she will surely take over. Know this and know peace. But if u can live a the life of a Christian without tears, you have nothing to worry about.

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Point of correction, THE MEN you read. No be one or 2. Bro them plenty.

@Notforgotten

It depends on what sort of paper you will get next year e.g., spousal, work permit etc.

what sort of paper would you get.

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

.

ValCon888:
I'm interested in the red flags, please do tell.
It's possible that you left her totô like a stream.

But when you got to the UK it was wider than the Atlantic ocean and deeper than the Kola Superdeep Borehole.

Sense far from you

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

My Bro.....you missed the point....The issue about abroad is not that someone is looking at your wife or not. The issue is about females having more rights than the males. Females are valued more than males..so they dictate the order of the day. The issue is about your wife whether she is old or young exercising some yeye rights she does not have in Africa. It does not mean that someone is eyeing your wife.

WilsonBright935:


Chief... It actually depends on what your wife tells the Home Office or the police. If she accuse you of domestic abuse, I'm afraid Home Office/ court could give you 3 months ultimatum to pack your things and leave the UK.

You might as well be given grace to look for COS within a given time.

The best thing now is to secretly look for COS (without her notice if possible). But for the main time, lay low.


And try and work back to back so far your working hour is not restricted. Gather enough money so you can rely on if things go south.

Shalom!!!

Also he should remember that as long as he remains and works in the UK You will have to pay child support to her. He also needs to Factor that too into his equation.

Also you don’t want to abandon the UK either. Japa is not something to easily abandon and return to Nigeria. So the child support thing is a necessary evil that must follow any separation.

Try and hustle hard save some money incase of stories that touches i wish u well

shiwex:


fgf

We4all:
Let me digress a little. I have read on. Nairaland several times that people on student visa depart the UK almost immediately after they complete their studies.

However, I know a couple of people who got their work visas as care givers immediately after completing their programmes. So, is it that there is scarcity of care giver jobs or they were just lucky?

there is a 2 years post graduate visa they can apply for. Getting sponsorship job is hard these days but some are lucky

joebeckz:
Firstly, no amount of magic will give you paper next year. You don't need to exaggerate to get quick solutions cos we have good knowledge of student pathways even for In-demand professions. Except you are switching Visa type to COS or it's like. That being said.

You should double your efforts to make more money at the moment.
Your wife can't do anything now cos the hours she is getting for work won't sustain her should she chase you out of the UK.
She needs you at the moment to survive UK bills but might have plans to deal with you when the time is right. Therefore do not relent also.
Save for that time.
Look for a pathway that will make you independent.
Look for good direct streams of COS.


MUST DO
Get a USA visa
Get a Canadian visa
Get other visas

Why?
You willy need them should the need arise.
If she kicks you out.
Fall back to Canada or USA via student route or other pathways.
Do these things quietly.

Don't forget to be a good husband to your wife.
Some women have seen shege from Nigerian men and when they get to societies that have their interest at heart. The quest for revenge sets in.

OP.
WHERE YOU A GOOD HUSBAND BACK IN NIGERIA?

How many likes can I give this?