Notfogotten:



So let me lay low for the next 7 months.

Nawao, Man of the house for Naija don decide to lay low for obodo oyinbo

God is wonderful

IbrahimSola:
If you know that your wife has a tendency to challenge your authority at any opportunity or share power equally, or enjoys controlling you, japa is not for the 2 of you. When she leaves to where culture and govt give her the opportunity, she will surely take over. Know this and know peace. But if u can live a the life of a Christian without tears, you have nothing to worry about.

The thing is most men do not know.

And when I say so, I am not exaggerating. Many of us do not know what our women will do once they have financial power and autonomy. A place where they are far away from societal and cultural demands, controls and expectations. A place where divorce isn’t frowned at and in fact the woman stands to gain from the separation.

No MAN CAN COME HERE OR SHOULD COME HERE TO VOUCH FOR HIS WIFE OR SPOUSE OR GIRLFRIEND.

E GO SHOCK YOU!!!

That women you think you know in Nigeria IS NOT THE SAME PERSON Abroad. Na two different people. It has nothing to do with Church, religion, denomination, tribe or ethnic group. We don see separation within all forms from Catholic, Deeper Life, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hausa, Yoruba, Ijaw, Igbo etc.

IT IS A RISK THAT ALL MEN MUST PLAN FOR, ACCEPT AND KNOW PROPER MITIGATION MEASURES TO TAKE.

My advice. Factor this possibility of your spouse (husband or wife) misbehaving when you sponsor them or both of you support yourselves to go abroad.

The one wey I hear recently, Husband ask wife “Are you Mad” for not answering her calls for almost 6 hours and the kids were stranded outside the house in winter because the daughter forgot the key at home. Wife was no where to be reached. Call GMS no answer. Call WhatsApp, No picking. The man was afraid that neighbors might see the kids outside and call child protective service people which will lead to questions and issues. He works in Nigeria and spends his time-off with his family overseas.

When she eventually picked and he told her the situation. What he says annoyed him is that she did not bother to hurry. She said she is in Walmart. He informed her that Walmart has free Wi-Fi and he has been calling her on WhatsApp for over 6 hours and she didn’t pick. He informed her that the kids are stranded and neighbors are seeing them outside.
When he called her back like 30 minutes latter she was still claiming she is at Walmart and had not made any efforts to go home to the kids. He scolded her and asked if she is mad to not have immediately gone home to open the door for the kids.

The “Are you Mad” question don cause quarrel wey people Dey pray Dey watch and hope say the woman get her sense back.

Ahmed0336:
I was discussing with my wife the other day and she brought the issue of relocating.
I told her I don't have plans to leave so she can go ahead. But as for the kids, they'd definitely leave this country when the time is right.
No be me woman go show shege for another man's land

this one don escape his enemy's snare

Kingpele:
Deep ....I see alot of childish comments and am confuse how people will still bring personal stuff here...however my brother ,my advise is for u to give yourselves chance to adapt to your new environment...selfishness and greed is not good at all for marriage .....you only wanted to lay low so as to get paper next year common that's selfishness....u should take it easy and sake ways to earn respect and trust from your wife ...with it u could build lasting union even in Uk

Lol someone is seeing red flags and you are talking of selfishness...Smh. OP should wait till they throw him out before him go get sense abi? To build a long lasting union depends on 2 parties so stop deceiving him. If your partner is not ready to build sorry you are wasting your time

Another fake story.
I know it is fake because the OP got all the details wrong about getting papers,
timeline of eligibility and the usefulness of student visa.
SMH

BloomingDale:


As if the man hold body for Nigeria. Abeg make we hear word. Gossiping like a market woman.

Feminism will not help you.

ednut1:
there is a 2 years post graduate visa they can apply for. Getting sponsorship job is hard these days but some are lucky

Thanks for clarifying. But is the post graduate visa always guaranteed?

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

Anything you sense about a woman, you are right... But been deported, I don't know. Find way to be independent as a man

loswhite:
Feminism will not help you.

Dey there make pant dey wear you. Respect is reciprocal.

Do u are informed too....?? I will advise u to leave her with the kids and come back to Nigeria to have peace of mind,to avoid sleeping on the street in UK in Winter season....

BloomingDale:


Dey there make pant dey wear you. Respect is reciprocal.

Your understanding of the word respect is flawed.

Beuberry:

Yes you ll be sent back. So try n make pea e with her always

Shut up, this imp

Britishpea:
Men be wise. Women are fake! 90% of times, you married the brokenness in her. If she’s saying yes sir and being submissive in marriage, it’s the brokenness In her that’s submissive.

Real wives are the ones who have some financial freedom and still remain submissive. Such women are always respected by their husbands.

Beware of wives who came from a very poor background. They don’t even know themselves. If your wife and you quarrel a lot here in Nigeria of she argues a lot don’t ever try to take her abroad if you cherish that marriage.


Most wives don’t like you. They are staying because they had no options at that time.

A wife that has the fear of God should be the target but where are they?!!! Social media has killed our fabrics. Expect the worst in the next 10 years.

Hmmmmm.

A word for the wise.

We4all:


Thanks for clarifying. But is the post graduate visa always guaranteed?

yes, if you graduated and didn't work over the specified 20 hour work a week allowed for students. if not OYO

PDJT:
-Stay within the law and ensure you record every of her abusive moves towards you. You can use those evidence to get permanent residency, if you really want to stay in the UK in your own right.

-At the moment, you have as much rights as her.

-However, I would advise you and any other man relocating to the UK or the West, NEVER assume full responsibility for your family. In the West it is a shared responsibility between you and your wife, that's why they call it partnership. If you must buy a property, make sure your partner contribute as much as you do as well as share your bills equally if possible, otherwise share it based on percentage of earnings.

-Never contribute more than you should. You're no longer in Africa.

Good advice for useless Nigerian men....lol. They are over paying just to be with a woman. Once a woman tell them yes they think in their head that they have hit jackpot. Nigerian men are paying the price of their foolishness because the only thing most of them are good at is to buy a woman.

ednut1:
yes, if you graduated and didn't work over the specified 20 hour work a week allowed for students. if not OYO

OK. Thanks once again.

Notfogotten:



So let me lay low for the next 7 months.

Find one oyibo dey run tinz with

Cutehector:
Why 9ja men dey knowingly put themselves in a situation to die before their time.


The only time i'd take my family abroad is when my wife is all grown up and nobody is looking at her again.

In other words, when she's like 65.

Good luck!

10thTenthMan:


Also he should remember that as long as he remains and works in the UK You will have to pay child support to her. He also needs to Factor that too into his equation.

Also you don’t want to abandon the UK either. Japa is not something to easily abandon and return to Nigeria. So the child support thing is a necessary evil that must follow any separation.

-Nothing wrong with the principle of child support. If they are indeed his kids, he would provide for them regardless. However, if he doesn't have access to the kids as he wishes whilst paying the child support, then he should consider relocation ASAP. Let the woman raise the kids in the harsh UK environment, when all the kids are grown and left home, we shall then see what remains of the woman.

JAPA can be a double-edged sword. Do not allow the reason for Japa destroy your marriage.
You sound as though, Japa is more important than your marriage, so you should be on a mission to save your marriage not save your Japa.
Those who are advising you to create a backup plan, have you imagined the consequences of what will happen if your wife discovers your motive?
It's good to have an alternative plan, but carry your wife along and make her part of the plan.
Try as much as possible to save your marriage first.

P.S.
You don't need Japa to have a happy marriage.

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

What if you're hallucinating...what are the red flags

jaxxy:
I think think men need to know how to address their displeasure with their partners without being offensive or escalating the issues.

How hard is it to have a civil conversation with ur partner or better yet a woman who bore u 3kids?

Why are u afraid she may send u out of the house in future just after a month of joining her?

Most of this is due to ineffective communication skills and then we allow the issue to fester and resentment to grow.

You made a good point. Some of them is creating problem for themselves based on hearsay and social media.
OP this is my advice to you:
Remember she is your wife you marry each other because you love one another. If there is an issue, discuss it with her as if you are in Nigeria. Also get off your high horse, you should respect your wife the way you expect her to respect you. If you walk out on your wife, are you going to go and marry an angel? Over 90% of Nigerians in diaspora are in good loving relationship with their partners. Don't let the few bad ones you are reading in the media affect you. You are going to definitely go through rough patches but you will be glad you stick to it in the long run. Remember you have 3 kids. Breaking your home can have immeasurable negative impacts on your children

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

guy double ur hustle
Save enough

Try and know the necessary steps before you leave her

Don't tell your close friends or relatives about your plans

Keep a secret from ur family

If not casala if burst


Lay low for now

Husle o

How'd y'all end up with this kind of situation and people?

joebeckz:
Firstly, no amount of magic will give you paper next year. You don't need to exaggerate to get quick solutions cos we have good knowledge of student pathways even for In-demand professions. Except you are switching Visa type to COS or it's like. That being said.

You should double your efforts to make more money at the moment.
Your wife can't do anything now cos the hours she is getting for work won't sustain her should she chase you out of the UK.
She needs you at the moment to survive UK bills but might have plans to deal with you when the time is right. Therefore do not relent also.
Save for that time.
Look for a pathway that will make you independent.
Look for good direct streams of COS.


MUST DO
Get a USA visa
Get a Canadian visa
Get other visas. (NOTE You will be granted these tourist visas easily from UK cos of your status)

Why do you need these Visas?
You will need them should the need arise.
If she decides kicks you out.
Fall back to Canada or USA via student route or other pathways.
All you need to do is fly into these countries with your visa, look for a school and apply for a certificate program of one year and and migrate legitimately using the various streams available for students.
Therefore do these things quietly.


Don't forget to be a good husband to your wife.
Some women have seen shege from Nigerian men and when they get to societies that have their interest at heart. The quest for revenge sets in.

OP.
WHERE YOU A GOOD HUSBAND BACK IN NIGERIA?

Nice advice. Bro my question is, is it possible for someone on a tourist visa to get registered in a school in the USA?

10thTenthMan:


The thing is most men do not know.

And when I say so, I am not exaggerating. Many of us do not know what our women will do once they have financial power and autonomy. A place where they are far away from societal and cultural demands, controls and expectations. A place where divorce isn’t frowned at and in fact the woman stands to gain from the separation.

No MAN CAN COME HERE OR SHOULD COME HERE TO VOUCH FOR HIS WIFE OR SPOUSE OR GIRLFRIEND.

E GO SHOCK YOU!!!

That women you think you know in Nigeria IS NOT THE SAME PERSON Abroad. Na two different people. It has nothing to do with Church, religion, denomination, tribe or ethnic group. We don see separation within all forms from Catholic, Deeper Life, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hausa, Yoruba, Ijaw, Igbo etc.

IT IS A RISK THAT ALL MEN MUST PLAN FOR, ACCEPT AND KNOW PROPER MITIGATION MEASURES TO TAKE.

My advice. Factor this possibility of your spouse (husband or wife) misbehaving when you sponsor them or both of you support yourselves to go abroad.

The one wey I hear recently, Husband ask wife “Are you Mad” for not answering her calls for almost 6 hours and the kids were stranded outside the house in winter.She was no where to be reached. The man was afraid that neighbors might call child protective service people which will lead to questions and issues.

When she eventually picked and he told her the situation she did not bother to hurry. She said she is in Walmart. He informed her that Walmart has free Wi-Fi and he has been calling her on WhatsApp for over 6 hours and she didn’t pick. He informed her that the kids are stranded and neighbors are seeing them outside.
When he called her back like 30 minutes latter she was still claiming she is at Walmart and had not made any efforts to go home to the kids. He scolded her and asked if she is mad to not have immediately gone home to open the door for the kids.

The “Are you Mad” don cause quarrel wey people Dey pray Dey watch and hope say the woman get her sense back.

But won't it be factored that the kids were left in the cold for that long?
I know the worst offence is child abuse or neglect.
This story get as he be unless the man is not telling the truth.Leaving kids out in the cold because they cannot access their home due to the woman's absence,is even the woman in this case that should be scared shitless that the story doesn't get out.

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

I have noticed some red flags which never happened while we where in Nigeria and I was footing the bills alone.

Each red flag, I pretend nothing happened because I don't want to be thrown out like the man I read about on social media.

My visa is dependent on hers and we are still on student visa.

My question, in the event that we get papers to stay permanently in UK and one day she decides to send me packing or I decide move out, will I be asked to return to Nigeria because she is the main applicant?

Please I need urgent answers. I may not play the fool for long. We are very certain of getting papers next year.

You have Japa, kindly enjoy your Japa

Notfogotten:
Please I have a question to ask.

I don't want to go into details so my partner doesn't trace this to me.

My partner came to UK before me, though still on student visa. I joined her with my 3 children one months ago.

.

Firstly, the bolded statement above is detailed enough for me to know who you are if I were your partner.

Secondly, I believe the red flag you mentioned isn't the Nigeria green white green flag. So tell us a little bit of details so we can know what you are about to face.