Poem: For A While - Literature - Nairaland
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| Poem: For A While by msuabint7(m): 5:34pm On Feb 17 |
For a while A moon among countless stars Makes the world beautiful. There is blueness in the brightness of the wire, So the story is never true. It does not have a place in the pages of history. The world is decorated with all the blue of the sky, I took the responsibility from myself. I can smell the air, The heart is the joy of the sea. There are a bunch of flowers on the back, Bee does not take honey - it is wrong. Ants come to the camels, They move, however, ignited. I wrote the name on the page of the heart, Everything is matched in that distant auction. Every day, I look forward to it, For a while, you were in a trance.
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| Re: Poem: For A While by heniford2: 6:39pm On Feb 17 |
Crawl like a slowpoke Plugged in it's feets Torn between hurricanes Souls where born anew Thanks to sanity We merry for in tears Like a star in fading sky we hope Mortals begget vails For a while we smiled For a while we cried For a while we wish For a while.....! |
| Re: Poem: For A While by xokol8: 7:22am On Feb 19 |
Edited by yours truly Edits/notes in parenthesis. Crawl like a slowpoke(?) Plugged(plugged doesn't really describe a slowpoke, the imagery is incomplete here) in (on) it's feet(s) Torn between hurricanes Souls where(were) born anew Thanks to sanity(...OK...?) We merry(how about: we are/were merry?) for in tears Like a star in fading sky we hope Mortals begget vails(OK...?) For a while we smiled For a while we cried For a while we wish(wished?) For a while.....! heniford2: |
| Re: Poem: For A While by heniford2: 8:01am On Feb 19 |
xokol8:you used AI to correct my poem which I wrote rather than write urs 😅 thanks why don't you compose something without AI over Sabi 🤔 |
| Re: Poem: For A While by AuthorMan: 9:35am On Feb 19 |
heniford2: Whether he used AI or AZ , appreciate the fact that he took a time to comment on your post. You can only grow as a writer when you welcome criticism with no bitterness. You can insult me too though, but the fact is, the guy has not done badly responding to your poem. In fact how u take know he used AI is still a mystery. Because nothing points to that direction in his post. |
| Re: Poem: For A While by heniford2: 9:50am On Feb 19 |
AuthorMan:in poem u use words, language that express your thoughts 💠out, so I never asked for correction 🤔 if you don't like what I typed u, ignore it and then type yours. the expression of my poem has its audience. So I dislike it when been corrected on my own expression. |
| Re: Poem: For A While by xokol8: 10:44am On Feb 19 |
I didn't use AI. But for research purposes, what AI can I use to sound like me? And I never claimed to be a poet. I'm an editor. My job is to make you better. We're not fighting. Peace out. heniford2: |
| Re: Poem: For A While by AuthorMan: 3:46pm On Feb 19 |
heniford2: You are not ready to learn. If you don't like people's constructive criticisms you don't post on a public forum. In your poem you used bad grammar. Are you trying to say that's the way you want it?  Guy, learn to take criticism. No one is an all in all when it comes to creativity. Either poems or novel writing, they all have rules. You are an arrogant writer and that's why your writing sucks. Your grammar is bad and the guy pointed at that. That shouldn't be a crime. Don't start war of words here because some people are masters in such. People like us joined Facebook groups where writers all over the world criticize us. And that won't kill us but rather make us better writers. Even oyinbo writers are criticized and they don't feel bad about it. Your writing sucks. If you like go plung anywhere you dim fit. |
| Re: Poem: For A While by AuthorMan: 4:00pm On Feb 19 |
xokol8: Don't mind the guy. You don't need to explain a sh***t to him. He is not ready to learn and he is not a good poet yet. Your criticism was alright. He is the one who is a joke. I make money on kdp and I am on several Facebook groups where people all over the world criticize your posts. Even the whites are criticized and they don't feel bad about it as everyone wants to be better and better in their crafts. Please, never apologize to guys like this. They are going nowhere in the creative world. Remain blessed. 1 Like |
| Re: Poem: For A While by heniford2: 4:09pm On Feb 19 |
AuthorMan:
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| Re: Poem: For A While by AuthorMan: 7:27pm On Feb 19 |
[quote author=heniford2 post=128537092][/quote] Stop kidding. Join online authors and writers' groups and you will come back to thank me in six months. One of such is Writers helping writers on Facebook. But be ready to take criticism with a good heart. Post short poems and ask people what they feel about it. You can post a page or two of excerpts of your novels too. Good night. |
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