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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife (7351 Views)
My Wife Got A Job As A Paramedic In The Uk / My Wife Is Adulterous: Advice Needed-long Post / I Beat My Wife. What Would You Have Done Differently In My Situation? (2) (3) (4)
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My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by edimina: 8:52am On Feb 27 |
I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can. So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians. Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread 6 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by DiskJokeyManic: 8:53am On Feb 27 |
36 year old woman vibing and even getting to drop a 26 year old boy at his crib always?😭😭 After she drop am,,, Dem fit even rush do quickie or 1 round befr she begin come back house😭😭 Ur wife might jst be a sugar mummy to that guy. That guy fit dey knack your Milf of a wife with reckless abandon oo😭😭 53 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Kunlevibess: 8:57am On Feb 27 |
Chai 1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Opanka44(m): 9:01am On Feb 27 |
Abeg summarize this post, I don't have the stamina to read everything, haba! Because you're in the UK, u don't understand the hunger we are facing here. How can I read this long Epistle when hunger is tearing my large intestine? My brother, I have just read your epistle, I must say your wife is highly Disrespectful of you. She treats you with levity and disdain. No regards at all. Sir, I must say, you're sitting on a keg of gunpowder that will explode soon. Your wife is gradually drifting away from you, your marriage isn't safe anymore. She's doing all that cos she knows the U.K law supports women than Men. If u try to divorce her, u stand a chance of suffering more harm than her cos she'll be protected by the laws of the country. There's every possibility that one, if not two of these guys are fucking your wife at the moment. Why going to drop them at home? Can she swear that she hasn't entered into any of these guy's room after dropping them off? Can she swear with Amadioha? 30 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by incogni2o: 9:02am On Feb 27 |
This is a normal issue where you have to be a Man. Pray for wisdom,caution and maturity. Know Your Wife and Know Her cane. Find an alternative, continue playing your role maturely, and leave her to her witts end. She'll learn in time to run back to you. 9 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by VeryWickedMan: 9:03am On Feb 27 |
I've said numerous times - only a simp gets married. Married men are simps. This scripture is one of the many rewards of simplicity. 15 Likes 1 Share
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Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by incogni2o: 9:04am On Feb 27 |
VeryWickedMan: Only a WEAK Man doesn't get married but sleeps with people's daughters. I MEAN A VERY WEAK MAN, ETERNALLY WEAK 42 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by delzbaba(m): 9:05am On Feb 27 |
If a woman continues helping people without being appreciated she will soon stop the help, let her do that in her own time, with the other issues on ground, I feel that is her own way of adapting to a new society, she wants to connect with people apart from her family, I will advice you look for a church where Africans are many so that she can expand her friendship net and forget about those guys , in all be patient and supportive 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by ProjectsCityNG: 9:06am On Feb 27 |
There are sharing the emotional and psychological space with your wife. This is torture and evil 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Zonefree(m): 9:14am On Feb 27 |
delzbaba:You didn't even bother to know if they're Muslims before suggesting African Church ![]() 11 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by gasparpisciotta: 9:21am On Feb 27 |
Most Nigerian women are only good for a reason-ONLY if the man is a provider. Once the table turns a little, their true colors will emerge. 10 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by dkidd: 9:25am On Feb 27 |
Lol.. I had to read ur previous thread. And I saw where u mentioned her being disloyal, disrespectful and unfaithful. How she and her male colleague were freely discussing his private parts as u were spying. U should have listened more to know the root. You see those three traits are recipe for disaster but u still went ahead and wifed her now u have taken her to the UK that gives them wings. Bro u never even start u go nearly run mad. One of my senior bro for UK na wetin happen to am. His single again at 50 something his ex wife has his only child. They have been divorced for years. The babe showed him real shege. I no want go into any details. But as for u when see stone dey come for up still no shift head. You really collect. Ur woes have only just begun. Pray those guys never initiate her for mad sex orgy sha. U don't even sound manly. For me to marry Nigerian girl when relocate to any Western country I rather marry the one born there. She will drag ur life through the seven stages of hell till u run mad 26 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by brain54(m): 9:37am On Feb 27 |
I understand the strict laws there... But put your foot down. You haven't stated anything in your post that suggests you do that. Your wife came to ask your opinion... And you told her you have other things to bother about. When clearly it's an issue bothering you. Don't do that with women. Don't assume they know or should. Speak in clear terms to them. Always put your foot down... Not necessarily aggressively. Sometimes could be subtle but be firm! 11 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by dkidd: 9:39am On Feb 27 |
brain54:Go read the previous post bro |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by brain54(m): 9:40am On Feb 27 |
1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by delzbaba(m): 9:41am On Feb 27 |
Zonefree:in a way we both know a Muslim woman can never do these things stated here 15 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Tombrown3(m): 9:52am On Feb 27 |
incogni2o: So Paul in the Bible was a very weak man🤔 Hmmm, we learn new things every day. 4 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Felimax(m): 9:54am On Feb 27 |
incogni2o: Sense full your head! |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Mentholated: 9:55am On Feb 27 |
brain54: Oga, this is not about putting down any foot. She is actively having sex with either one or both guys and they both know. That is why she disrespects her husband while the guys disrespect her. She drops him off, enters his room and collects his dick. The guy is all she thinks about throughout work. Share this story with any experienced guy or any sexually active woman above 18 and this will be their conclusion. He is invisible to his wife and might get into serious trouble with her in future. Husband get a sponsorship first while you keep observing this rubbish situation you have gotten yourself involved in. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by obinna58(m): 9:58am On Feb 27 |
She doesn’t listen to you that’s equivalent to not being tamed A woman might not listen to you initially and that’s ok but she must’ve to listen when she knows you strongly hold your ground, that’s the authority. Men who doesn’t tame their dragon get burned Women must be tamed Tame her so you can have a happy family Taming means her recognizing higher authority, understanding the consequences of recklessness and unaccountability 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by matify83: 10:01am On Feb 27 |
The irony of this case is that she will not readily do this in Nigeria but because the society out there gives women such audacity, some sheepishly fall for it to the detriment of their home. A man in such society should always have a backup plan for this kind of eventuality one amongst which is having sufficient capital and investments back home before emigrating so that once "shit hits the fan", you pack yourself back home instead of getting jailed because of "woman matter". 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by vincenteger: 10:02am On Feb 27 |
You are sitting on a time bomb waiting to explode. Go and remove an important component in the car that will make the car not to start for like one week or so, do it without her notice and continue to give her excuses of how you'll fix it later. By the time she has gone to work with public transport for like one week or so, the others will improvised, from there she could read her relevance in the life of those she calls her friends. 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by infofta(m): 10:05am On Feb 27 |
When a man has money he thinks of his woman but when she has she feels she doesn't need a man. Your wife is very disrespectful. For her to take food from her house to give another man shows intimacy between them. Something is not right. Take up the issue seriously but carefully or else she go chase you comot for house. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Mentholated: 10:09am On Feb 27 |
delzbaba: If you live in the UK, you won't make this statement. People mind their business a lot in that country. You hardly get lifts, No one cooks and takes food to someone else except for business. Imagine a married woman suddenly becoming an unpaid driver and food vendor despite her husband's disapproval in a country where people hardly pick interest in other people's private lives. All these are just avenues to collect dicks. More excuses will come. Staff training, night shifts. Etc. What do you think happens when her and the guys are paired to work night shift together. God help us all. 21 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Double0h7(f): 10:11am On Feb 27 |
You know and now we know that she wasn’t/isn’t the ideal candidate to wife and bare 3 children with. That’s the issue on ground. She’s disrespectful, disloyal and a cheat. To add insult to injury, she doesn’t even know how to carry herself as an adult let alone a mother and a wife. Now, what do you want to gain from this? You can’t be putting foot down and fighting for rights that she doesn’t have to give you. You need to understand your purpose for being in the Uk, and what your plans are for you and your children. Are you working? If you are on her visa then you will be deported and she’ll remain in the Uk with your children. You need to play the long game and take your heart out of your choices. Leave her to do what she’s doing, look after yourself and your children until your immigration status is stable then smoothly move on with your life. If you start making noise now, you’ll be back in Nigeria within weeks. Swallow your pride and play the long game. I believe she’ll find a man and she’ll kick you out in the long run once she finds a better replacement. 23 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Goodlady(f): 10:11am On Feb 27 |
Mr Edimina, wisdom is needed in ya ordeal. Despite not hearing from ya wife and I won't take sides with her cos she's a woman, I can say she was carried away with the friendship she had with people there. Maybe cos she was cherishing she saw Nigerian friends she could relate with after missing home. Whatever way, when we are married, we must set some boundaries and that's what she's yet to do. She should stop getting too close to those two guys especially and stop picking them. VeryWickedMan:Had it been that I m closer to you, I d v given you a dirty slap. If you are unmarried or ll never get married, that's ya badluck. You can as well cut ya prîcK with nacet blade! But don't ever discourage men from marrying. 3 Likes
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Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Double0h7(f): 10:21am On Feb 27 |
obinna58: See this boomer! Tame what sir? A woman who is a student and works while her husband is a dependent who stays at home (house husband) in the Uk for that matter! Give the man more practical advice than this 1950’s bs. He’s lucky if she doesn’t find a working man who is homeless and will pay the rent while she looks after her children. This woman was juggling dick in Nigeria, what do you think she’ll juggle in the Uk! 7 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by incogni2o: 10:23am On Feb 27 |
Tombrown3: Paul in the Bible? I don't understand you. |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Goodlady(f): 10:24am On Feb 27 |
I m buying this space to sell later! If you want ya post to be here when this thread hits the fp, it's $500. 3 Likes
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Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by Double0h7(f): 10:27am On Feb 27 |
matify83: Op stated that she was cheating, and disrespectful in Nigeria so please don’t blame the Uk because millions of women in the Uk are faithful to their husbands and children. This woman was on some wild shi before op followed her (he’s the dependent on their visa) to the Uk. She’s probably pretty and thick in all the right places and a freak! That’s why op is on the internet crying while she’s living her best life with nothing to lose but a man she probably only picked for his money. 6 Likes |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by NEUDUDE: 10:27am On Feb 27 |
Such a mumu man. Them dey give ya wife doggy for broad daylight inside market square lol ![]() Enjoy ya marriage and dont disturb us. 1 Like |
Re: My Ordeal In The UK With My Wife by tochez24(m): 10:35am On Feb 27 |
Double0h7: Exactly my thoughts... The woman was collecting enough younger dicks in Nigeria and that's why she now has the liberty to do that in her husband's presence in UK. She even has the guts to seek for her husbands advice⚠️ Well i will not advise anybody here today, my own today na to just read comments lol If we advice them to go for Virgins and reserved girls, they will come with all manners of excuses!!! So oga enjoy your WOMAN😆😅😅 Your marriage is already over for sure.... Just make sure you have a plan B in that UK o because once your wife finds a more stable man, YOU are already back in Nigeria. The only thing you don't know now is how much time you have got left💯 4 Likes 1 Share |
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